Sad girls smoke a lot

if the thought of losing her doesn't make you sick to your stomach you don't deserve her.

Sometimes its not only about being addicted to drugs, sometimes its also about being scared. You become so wrapped up and consumed in drugs you forget how to live a normal life. You isolate yourself from the world only surrounding yourself with other drug users. At first your having the time of your life, Not even realizing your pushing the rest of the world out. Eventually the party stops. Now you find yourself struggling to live a normal life, whatever that even is.. You don’t remember what it was like to go out on a “date” or out with friends on the weekends. You keep searching for that happiness you got out of life before you did drugs. Your mind is so fucked up. You want a normal life but at the same time you can’t remember what was so great about it? What did you do for fun? You become scared. Lost. And drugs seem to be the only thing keeping you going.

Grieving the time you loose because of mental illness is one of the hardest things. Sometimes it’s weeks and a few friends, then sometime it’s months and the special occasions missed and more friends drift away. When it gets into multiple years its no longer about the friends you once had, or the family you were once apart off, it’s just the time. The person you could have been, the people you could have meet, the fun you never had the photos that where never taken. Years stripped from your youth, with no great brave story to say for. People don’t want to hear about the years you “bravely” fought mental illness. Mental illness is so personal that people don’t know how to talk about or what to think of it. It’s too deep, too heavy. It’s not surface stuff.