My Cats

I don't know how I feel about the word 'runt', so I will try to not use that on her. She was the last kitten born (unless something very mysterious happens), and she is smaller. However, she is very active, and will definitely catch up to the size of her older brothers.

She got a flea treatment immediately. She is still figuring out play, she is not really one to strike things flying towards her/across her path, but she does like to push things around. I gave her some felt balls, which she took interest in.

She needs some gut repair, a spay, vaccination, chip -- but this can all be done fairly soon. She is currently 6.1 lbs., a tiny sweet one.

That photo was sent to me when Phil went missing. When he went missing, he had a tag on his neck (a microchip that allows any cat without one internally to use the pet door). The photo connected me with a neighbor, a street over, who had found Gravy (Gravy had the same tag, and looked exactly like Phil). She helped Gravy and her kids (Peewee, Blackie, Fluffy) get sterilized, and both her neighbor and she took care of the cats. Months later, the cats all went missing. I believe Greychel is one of those kittens.

This year, she shows up, and I reach out to my neighbor, who is hesitant to believe it's her, and does not care to have me bring her back (the offer still stands). Anyway, we now have Greychel, a sweet girl. She showed up, let me pet her, accepted food, and she quickly understood how to use the front and pet door.

This guy was roaming the streets, and I believe his parents might also be. I have seen a white, longer haired (with tabby stripes) mama cat running around, even eating from my outdoor food. I have also seen a shorter haired white and tabby male cat. They both appear to live fully outside, but eat around the neighborhood.

The second I saw this guy, I gave him de-wormer, he seemed to be infested with parasites, a little messy, and had some fleas. I gave him a bath, food, and left him outside. His bloating mostly went down, and he has been looking (and smelling) very clean.

As I got home, I saw him outside, and I took him to the assumed mama cat. They kind of ignored him, and he followed me back to my house. Since I didn't want him getting hurt or hit by a car, he's since been living inside. He has a collar on that would allow him outside the pet door, as well as back in. I've shown him how it works, but he seems to prefer inside.

He LOVES being pet all over, his stomach especially. He also loves to flop down, kind of like a fainting goat style. He is SUPER vocal, and has a kazoo kind of meow. He will hold it until he is heard. He loves to meow for food and pets.

She meows super silently, but not as whispery as Dice's meows. She has a very low volume meow, and it is very short. She loves to climb on top of the refrigerator with Dice as well, but she will make daring leaps to places no cat has gone before. She has a very long tail, making these bounds possible.

Dice loves to go with me outside when I feed the barn cats and the goats. She thinks she is very slick, and I let her feel like she's sneaking around about it. I'm not sure if she's aware of how much she squeaks in excitement for getting to see the outside, but it's as loud as she gets. She sometimes wears a harness and a lead, but sometimes she does actually sneak by me. I always bring her in with me, so she does not stay out long or unsupervised.

Courage likely did not have the ability to go to the bathroom, which caused the buildup of fluids in his abdomen. The vet did an ultrasound, and performed as humane as euthanasia as his small body would allow.

He had a very distinct kitten mew, and he was able to project. Hearing him at the vet made me feel like a proud mama, even though I knew his outcome might not be very favorable.

As expected, the vet confirmed the defect, and I was there with him the whole time. At the end, the vet hugged me. I think it was the youngest euthanasia patient he had witnessed also.

After many tests and medication attempts, he was diagnosed with calicivirus, and we postponed his neuter and vaccinations. I kept pushing to get the vaccinations done, but his immune system was too weak to allow them.

He had a very soft meow, and he LOVED to sit on laps. He could fall asleep so quickly, and he would softly snore. I normally get irritated by bodily sounds, but his snores sounded like the snores of an angel. I could always find him by hearing his little breathing. I also loved to see his little teeth when he would be sleeping.

When I brought Autumn and Koi in, not realizing they had FPV, or even what FPV was, Chance got it. His body resisted the symptoms for a while, but eventually he stopped eating. I thought it was a side effect of the medicine he was on, so i stopped that. It was making him sick.

I took him to the emergency vet once he did not eat for a few days, per the vet's instructions, and I was told that the prognosis was not good. I chose to do gold standard care. His name is Chance, so I figured he deserved one. I couldn't stop crying, but I was trying to be hopeful.

I was told to come get him at 5pm. Around 4pm, I was asked about resuscitation, and I asked how he was. I was told he was ok. Immediately after that, I was called by the doctor who told me he was not responding to care, and was crashing. I drove there immediately and was put in a room to pay for things, and talk about after cremation services.

The instant I got in the room, I yelled "baby!!" to him, and he perked right up. He looked totally normal. The vet came in and let me know that this was not how he was behaving before. He quickly lost energy after that, which let me know that it was time.

The part that still stings me about this situation was that the euthanasia medication did not get to him, which means that the IV catheter they had him on was also likely not even working. Despite it, I paid, and he was put to rest. I did not leave his side, which is my promise to any pet, since Sagwa. I was not there for her, and I regret that every time I have the opportunity to be there.

He reached both paws out to me as I said goodbye. I am still very sad about his death. He did not deserve to have health issues for his whole life, but it's possible he was living despite congenital health issues that affected his litter mate Courage.

He has two stripes going down his back, which matches his brother Chance. They did everything together, and would love to take up space in my lap alongside one another.

Benny has very velvety fur. It feels very healthy and sleek. He has a lot of cool patterns on his coat as well.

A few days before her spay appointment, she was on my lap. I felt her stomach, and I could feel the individual paws of the kittens inside her. The next day, she gave birth. I had to cancel her spay appointment.

I rescheduled it for weeks later, but had to cancel that one as well, since she breastfed her kids for a REALLY long time. She ended up getting mastitis from how unstoppable this was. I had to make her wear pajamas also. Eventually, they stopped, but it did sever the bond she had with her kids. Most of her kids are still alive, and they still love her so much, but she does not want much to do with them tbh. She is most ok with Benito, then Key, lastly Dice. Dicey she is the most vocal about, and will swipe at her to back off. The two not mentioned are her boys Courage and Chance. Courage lived to be 6 days old (he had a congenital birth defect), and Chance passed away from FPV in November of 2024.

All of the kiddos have mama's eyes, and some of them have her not so great breath >.>

Their names are based on the theme of randomness, inspired by their mama. Random acts of Courage, random Chance, random roll of the Dice, randomly generated Key, and Benito is randomly defying the nomenclature set by his siblings.

Socks would come into the house with Fuzzy. At this time, Phil was still too nervous, and would bolt the second I got close to him. Socks was a total sweetheart, and I believe someone may have taken him home. Sleeky was also a nervous one, and I am not sure what happened to them. I also do not know the gender. The rest were all boys, so it's possible that Sleeky was a girl. Sleeky had short, sleek black fur, just like Artemis, Arya, and Luna.

Phil was by my side every day. When I lost Widget and Arya, I did not expect to have another bond like that. Phil was attached to my ankles, or always trying to be by my face. He would reach his little paws out. He was also delicate and sensitive on his paws, he did NOT like stepping on crumbs or sand feeling. He would kick his back little feet to get the dust off. One time he limped and I took him to the vet only to discover that he had a small cut that was causing him distress.

It healed just fine, and he had an otherwise healthy and fun life. One morning, he got out, without me seeing him or knowing. I like to tell them to be careful and that I love them whenever they leave (just-ocd-things). I did not do that with Phil this day.

I looked for him for a week. I printed signs. I printed more signs. I mailed signs to all my neighbors. To this day, there are still some signs up.

I was in therapy at the time, and I was expressing all of the steps I was taking, and how I was feeling. One day, I thought to myself that, no matter what condition he was in, that I was ready to have him home. I kept feeling, the whole time I was looking for him, that he was near the house. Well, that was right, since he was very close outside the window I was sleeping near (waiting for him to come home, I slept on the living room couch that week), but he was passed away.

I went outside that day, the day I felt ready, and I found him. I saw his feet, and the healed cut. His body was scanned for a chip and it matched his.

While he was missing, some people called me, they found the flyer online and used his details to try to scam me out of money. They told me that they found him, that he would be ok with life saving surgery, that I would get a grant for the money to cover the surgery, but I would have to put money down. I almost fell for it, since I was so blinded with love for my cat. It was an emotional rollercoaster. I did not pay them anything. They yelled at me and insulted me, even threatened me.

I wish I had more time with Phil, and I feel so sick that he was able to get outside. After that, no one was allowed outside for a very long time (which is how Vivi got pee pad trained).

The day I took him to the vet, it was a Friday, which I think impacted the way his issue was handled. The vet even told me I could come get him, but on the way to get him, they told me I would need to put him down. When I asked about amputation of the injured leg, most of the staff seemed to be unaware of the vet's decision to end his life due to the assumed injury, and told me he'd be a great candidate for it.

When I brought this up to the vet, she shut the idea down very quickly. It felt super rushed and very stressful. I regret not taking him home and seeing if he would be able to go to the bathroom, but he would have to live with a broken leg.

I listened to the vet, and this is now the euthanasia story that I feel the most regret about. I think part of it was also that I did not want to put him through what Arya went through just days before. On the way to the vet to put him down, I was unable to breathe.

Fuzzy was a very sweet, restful baby boy. He was curious about the world, and would love to sit in a lap and nap the day away. His coat was as soft as a cloud, and he also had a large skull like Gidget. A nice big brain probably lived in there. I really miss this guy. His urn does not have a photo frame on it, so there is a picture near it. I hope that if there is an afterlife, that he and his brother Phil are together again.

Widget was a lot like Arya, he needed to be near me, especially in the kitchen. When I would make espresso in the moka pot, he would be there for every step, examining my work as I went along. We did everything together. He spent a lot of time inside, but one day he got out and did not come back. I called for him so much. I went to the kitchen after feeling strange to look out the window over the sink. I then was hit with a sudden urge to text the neighbor to check if she had seen him.

She responded moments later with a picture of a very similar cat, saying how she found him in the street, hit by a car, and assumed it was her cat (the one in the photo). She then saw her cat, alive and unscathed, and realized she buried my cat. She asked if I wanted to bring him home, and I said that it's ok that he remains buried (as long as they did not mind).

She looked like a puff ball with eyes. She and Lilly both looked that way, and they would hide in small spaces, only showing the gleam of 4 eyes. She really liked hanging out in the server rack. One day I saw a deceased cat in the street with long black reddish fur, I thought the worst, but then I saw both her and Lilly in the house. I am still not sure, and feel bad for, whoever's cat that was.

Susu used to sit in this tree (that has since blown sideways, still growing), under the leaves and seem to meditate. She is very spiritual. She really reminds me of a cat I used to have called Sagwa. Very nature-loving, spiritual, sensitive girls.

Susu was missing for a few days, and I desperately called out for her. One day, after screaming for her, I got a notification on the door that she was in. I then immediately locked the door, and checked her out. She seemed hungry, and was alert/bright. She then came in my room for pets. When I picked her up, I noticed her abdomen felt different.

Her abdomen was open, and there was a wound about 2 inches long. I took her to the vet asap, and they told me that her abdominal wall tore, and her intestines were coming out of the opening. I worked overtime every day to save up money to get her surgery. She spent that time in the crate, healing. I would play healing, meditative music for her. Her wound closed, externally anyway. As soon as I saved enough money, I went in for a surgeon consult. They looked at the latest images of Susu's abdomen, and they told me that she healed naturally. It is not perfect, but the surgery would be more risky, and if she is functioning, then to leave it be.