gentleman witches

it doesn't matter which country we're talking about here, if someone from any country in the world says "oh where i am from there is simply no racism", you not only shouldn't believe them, but you should actually never take them seriously about anything ever again.

Burger queen divorced him

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

MICROWAVE YOUR PHONE

my writing gland is purple and swollen

this video is CUTE, the animal is clearly in distress but it is a vile creature unloved by any god and we are correct to derive pleasure and satisfaction from its misery

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

these exercises are sooo monotonous like i keep walking down the same hallway over and over 🙄

who was that.

the fucking fetus in the sink won't accept my insurance

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

every “hand made boxers and briefs for transmasc and nonbinary fxlk” subscription box is $80 and everything is polyester and the exact same as regular boxers at like walmart but have a ⚧️ emoji sewed into the side like a cutie mark and the company is like if u donate 25 extra dollars to us with your purchase we will donate to jellyqueens and make a hugggge important impact on the world 🌈 and then jellyqueens is just.. like a small business jam and jelly company with flavors based on different pronouns and gender descriptors (like tme for example) with very obvious like weird assigning of bioessentialist presentation to fruits for the jellies like “amabs” are blueberries and kiwi and “afab” are cherrys and watermelon and the jellies aren’t even good and actually are lying about being gluten free and also get moldy very fast bc they aren’t using preservatives but they still only deduct -$3 from the original price when they do pop up shops in brooklyn while selling them and the impact on the world mentioned by the boxer company is just to reduce jellyqueens pass due bills bc they keep getting fined for avoiding inspection of their kitchen (its in their apartment but they own five cats and let them stay on the counter while chopping and cooking the fruit for the jelly) and also they take a extra $5 dollars from you as a “service charge” on the boxer companies website because the ceo is using that money from every purchase towards their anime boy maid cafe budget for theirnext trip to japan

did this happen to you

yes