*sigh* Yeah, the big xylophone

moby girldick

I mean, he is chasing dick

the real white whale was testosterone

assigned whaler at birth

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

Firstly, though only tangentially relevant, their textbook definitions refer to specific things: antique is used to describe the age of furniture and domestic items, while vintage specifically refers to the age of wine.

But for those of you shopping for old books, home decor, clothes, toys, etc., here are some glossary terms so you can discern whether a seller is informed, clueless, or just plain old lying.

Antique

At least one hundred years old, or close enough. The copy of Anne of Green Gables pictured above was published in 1935, making it nine years shy of being a "true" antique but to the savvy collector it still passes.

Vintage

At least twenty years old, and rarely any younger than that—if it wasn't at least twenty years ago, the nostalgia for it likely hasn't kicked in and it's probably still in circulation. The sewing magazines pictured above range from the 1960s to 1970s.

Vintage "Style"

A brand new item that either reproduces or mimicks an old-fashioned appearance. This is a fair business practice as long as the seller is open about the fact that their product is brand new. Two of the tins pictured above are recent* reproductions of discontinued product containers. The one is the center is a legitimate antique.

Antiqued (verb)

Similar to "vintage style" but with more effort in that an item has been made to look very old, rugged, and weathered, often including faked patina or purposely faded coloring. The above photo is of a 1970s decorative wall spoon that was painted to look a hundred years older—antique styles were a huge influence in the '70s.

Retro/Retro Style

Not a reliable indicator of age, but of current nostalgia. If you see this on a product it is likely referring to something unique to its time period, especially short-lived things like toys, jewelry, clothes, and graphic design styles. Currently this word is used heavily on items in the 1980s–2000s range, but also iconic 1950s–1960s styles. The fast food toys picture above are from the late '90s to early '00s.

Other Labels

"Victorian" frequently, and inaccurately, used to label anything pre‐1940s and post-Medieval, rendering it absolutely meaningless in most cases.

"Y2K" gets tagged on anything from 1990 to 2009. This is inaccurate as y2K is literally in the name, "year 2000." Should only refer to the futuristic pop styles unique to 1999–2001.

"MCM" and "mid century" have also lost meaning. Both are derived from a specific late 1940s–1960s furniture and interior design style known as mid century modern, but are frequently misused to describe any item or style ranging from the 1930s–1980s.

"Art deco/nouveau" these are just style names, not indicators of age. Both styles have also had multiple comebacks, so be aware of that if you are looking for genuine antiques.

"Is any of this writing related?" Sure, if you want it to be. I just wanted to talk about words and history, and hopefully help some folk not get ripped off online. Also, don't blindly trust sellers just because you trust the site. Even sites with good reputations can't weed out every phony.

Entire post dedicated to the lady selling Smurf toys from 1980 as "antiques."

Thanks for reading!

———

*If you consider the '90s "recent."

Been practising my BG skills lately! process pics under the cut

The reconstructed face of the “Cheddar Man” (c. 7,000 BCE) compared to his living descendant, Adrian Targett    

The Cheddar Man is a Mesolithic skeleton that was recovered from England’s Cheddar Gorge in 1903. At around 9,000 years old, the Cheddar Man is the oldest complete skeleton ever discovered in the UK, and has long been hailed as the “first Briton.” DNA analysis on the Cheddar man from 2018 indicated that he was lactose intolerant, had light-colored eyes, dark brown or black hair, and had a dark to black skin tone. Although the discovery of the Cheddar Man’s dark skin tone was surprising for both scientists and the public alike, it corresponds with recent research suggesting that genes linked to lighter skin only began to spread about 8,500 years ago - approximately 32,000 years later than what was previously believed.  

In addition to the development on his skin tone, the Cheddar Man surprised scientists in 1997 when DNA analysis revealed that he had a living descendant -  a retired history teacher named Adrian Targett. Targett and the Cheddar man share the same mtDNA, which is passed down from mother to daughter. In other words, they share a common maternal ancestor. What is even more remarkable is that Targett lives in Cheddar, only a half mile away where his 9,000-year-old ancestor was discovered.

Targett was not invited to the initial reveal of his ancestor’s new facial reconstruction, but he has since seen it and has commented on the family resemblance. “I do feel a bit more multicultural now,” he once joked in an interview “And I can definitely see that there is a family resemblance. That nose is similar to mine. And we have both got those blue eyes.”