✌️😙

staring out into the rainy scenery, the freezing wind sending shivers down your spine, you felt completely numb as everything soaked in.

is that how the end of a whirlwind romance feels like? completely and utterly hollow?

the place where his pendant used to dangle from the chain around your neck was switched out for a meaningless pearl one that you found deep in your jewelry box. it provided you no warmth, not like the hermes “h” necklace hayden bought you a month in into the relationship.

on midnights like this, you missed him dearly and deeply—and nothing would subside the ache that conjured in your heart. hayden latched himself onto your domestic life—lazy sunday mornings tangled in bedsheets together, trips to the local farmers market to buy ingredients for breakfast, swaying to the tune of old vinyl records he collects in the living room whenever the world got too loud—but he was long gone now, leaving an indent where his love once was.

hovering over his contact that still donned the silly, little nickname you gave him late one night, you slammed your flip phone shut with frustration coursing through your veins. as you raked your fingers through your hair and paced around the bedroom, you weren’t sure if you should break weeks of growing rust between telephones during one night of weakness. was it truly worth it to lose significant progress in moving on in the hopes that you hear his voice once more—even if it was just his voicemail log?

though the very thought petrified you—what if he no longer wanted anything to do with you: what would happen to the last installment of the prequel trilogy if you both he couldn’t bear to be around one another you behind the camera and while filming scenes? what would happen to the genuine friendship you nurtured with him before it manifested into something more emotionally and physically intimate?

was he angry at you?

did he hate you?

you weren’t sure of anything at all, but you were so sure that you still loved hayden. christ, you’ve never stopped loving him even when it was considered “over”—and truth be told, you both didnt know why the relationship ended that dreaded night. too many arguments? too few arguments? busy schedules? so many possibilities and you couldn’t pinpoint it; not because it was all of the above, but because there was no apparent reason at all. you just did.

the sound of your cheery ringtone snapped you out of your trance-like state of mind. hope surged in your heart, silently begging for it to be him who’s calling, but it was only your agent reminding you of some random film premiere you should attend to gain traction for the upcoming star wars film in a few months from now. after humming mindlessly to every word echoed from the speaker, you hesitantly flipped your phone off and held it close to your heart. not even in business calls can you escape him.

knowing you couldn’t sleep afterwards, you shuffled into living room and sprawled out on the sofa with a book in hand—one you didn’t remember was in your collection. as you read the blurb and skimmed through the pages, a sudden knock at your front door had your face contorting in confusion and slight annoyance. weird, it was nearing midnight.

lazily rising from the settee, you drew your hair back all to one side as you cautiously turned the knob. taking a peek through the little sliver you cracked open to reveal yourself to the indigo night sky, your breath caught in your throat at the familiar sight of the man you still loved with all of your heart.

“hayden?”

“i’m sorry. i know it’s late right now,” he started before you cut him off as you leaned against the door frame, arms crossing over your chest when all you wanted to do was pull him into you like always when you wanted to shut him up. “yeah, it’s nearing midnight.”

“always with that smart mouth i love.” love? you couldn’t chuckle along with him, not yet—you needed to know why he was standing right at your door. “why are you here?” voice breaking at the end of your simple yet powerful question, he took an unwavering step forward towards your figure to answer.

“because i love you.”

tears prickled the back of your eyes as you gazed into his sincere azure irises, the very ones that captivated you every time. your fingers found their way to the fallen curls of hair that obstructed his face, and you pushed them behind his ear before cupping his cold cheek in your warm palm. when you felt him nuzzle in closer to your touch, finding solace in them, that was when the dam broke.

leaning forward so your foreheads touched, despite how much taller he was, your lips found themselves pressed against hayden’s after weeks of being led astray from one another. it wasn’t reciprocated immediately however, his brain buffering for a second at the familiar feeling he never thought he’d experience again. with a laugh, he grinned into the kiss as you practically dragged him into your foyer.

both clumsily collapsing onto the sofa, you toppled over him and giggled into his shoulder. “my love,” hayden’s hands tilted your face up to meet his eyes, and he couldn’t help the downturned smile that swept his face as affection radiated off of him—capturing your mouth into another kiss.

“i missed you so, so much—i love you so, so much,” you whispered against his lips.

“i love you more.”

your arms dangled over his neck as he switched positions, you underneath him now, “not possible. i’d rather die than be anything but your girl.”

he endearingly shushed you, caressing your flushed cheeks and drying them of tears you didn’t even know began to fell, “i’m here now. and for the record, i’d do anything for you.”

you knew that it’s true because he’d said it to you.