wtf the fuck

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

power move: saying “that’s treason” every time someone does something that mildly inconveniences you

god im not even a simpsons fan, only saw the movie a single time because it happened to be on in the same room I was in, and this also has happened to me anyway

I haven’t even SEEN the movie and this happened to me anyway

i knew that scene before i had a firm grasp on what spider-man was, so even now when i hear the theme music, my brain auto-fills in with “spider-pig, spider-pig, does whatever a spider-pig does”

one of the houses on the end of my street is home to the members of a local irish folk band so some mornings i’ll be walking out to my bus stop to a rollicking accordion and mandolin like i’m finally setting out to seek my fortune on the high seas or some days i’ll come home to a weary aching lament that is so sweet and so yearning that i’ll miss the drowned lover i never had