María with a Pearl Earring

Samira and Langdon fated to be doomed.

My ideas started flowing after watching the discussion between Langdon and Santos. I'm not going to get into details about each character; I like both of them and can sympathize with both as well.

Anyway, I noticed that there's a question missing in the discussion when the topic is addiction: Why did Langdon start using drugs?

An easy answer is “well, he got into drugs because of his back pain," but what does the back pain represent? To answer this, we need to examine the environment of The Pitt and his team leader, Robby.

We have seen that Robby expects proficiency, good performance, and high productivity from his team. This is not bad at all, but his expectations are either unrealistic or he hasn’t managed properly. Robby puts pressure on his team because he’s under pressure from his higher-ups.

Another thing he tends to do is to diminish his team’s worries (and his own) until it becomes overwhelming. In season one, he hides his pain and stress, which leads to a panic attack. This season, he’s diminishing his feelings (his body seems to be in total death tone, probably because of tiredness from trying to maintain control), but he’s also minimizing his team’s mental health: Mel, Langdon, Dana, Santos, and the most obvious case, Samira.

Now, returning to my question, why does Langdon become addicted? The answer is that he cannot fall behind. He was the top resident and essentially Robby's prodigy. To keep up with his pace, title, and reputation, he gradually develops an addiction to benzos (which is easier than it seems). And yes, you could say, “well, he made that choice,” which I totally agree with, except that the alternative of falling behind is not an option either. The alternative in this case is Samira.

Langdon and Samira are two faces of the same coin, destined to failure bc of Robby’s ill mentorship.

Who have we seen Robby torment and doubt since season one? Samira. Why was he hard on Samira? She was slow. Her nickname, 'slow-mo,' is a proof of the hostility in the power dynamics we observe in the show. Robby doesn’t see her as fit for the high-productivity culture. The hospital, at the end of the day, is a market, and Samira's slowness costs money.

The alternative to drugs isn't going well for Samira either. She’s a great doctor (one of the best in Pitt), and still she’s overlooked. This season, we see her on the edge, drowning. And her mentor is unable to help her; in fact, he’s the main reason she’s so lost.

(There's also the subject of racism and misogyny, but I won't go into those details since my main point is to talk about the toxic culture of productivity).

Robby also dismisses Mel's worries about her deposition, and he’s unable to see that Santos is not doing well either. I want to highlight these two cases because Mel is in trouble partly due to Robby’s conduct. He should have been the one to handle the spinal tap. Santos feels excluded and probably carries a lot of weight for pointing out Langdon, and we haven’t seen Robby reassure her or share some responsibility with her about making that decision and putting a target on her back.

What the storyline shows is that Robby’s mental health issues affect others and influence how they manage their own behaviors and health. This season is the worst day for everyone because of one common factor: mental illness and lack of therapy. It's surprising how much the team dismisses his mental health until we see the rhythm they have to follow every day. They take care of hundreds of people, but they don’t take care of themselves or each other because there's no time. Even Dr. Al-Hashimi mentions that one reason her interest in AI is because she wants to spend more time with her kid.

I'm interested in seen how this topic develops for the rest of the season. I might make another post expanding on this…..

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This was a long post but I was feeling inspired.

Personal Context; I grew up in Mexico, and then I moved to the states to continue my education. I’m very passionate about the topic of globalization, productivity and capitalism so I connected the dots while watching the show.

And look I get it not everyone likes all characters that’s fine but the way they stay talking about characters and ships they HATE rather than wjomeevr they actually do like is mind boggling. But specifically what got me heated today was this asinine take that Colin fans were “making up any established relationship between Colin and his sisters” And any acknowledgement of Colin being close with in particular Daphne and Eloise was somehow “negating Daphne and Anthony’s bond and Eloise and Benedict’s”. LIKE LITERALLT WTF. Do they not actually watch the show? Benedict LITERALLY had a speech in seaosn 3 to Eloise about how LOVE IS NOT FINITE and the love you have for one person does not diminish the love you have for another? He literally says that in reference to her love for Penelope and her love for Colin?!

Like WHAT? The entire show aside from the romance is literally about this family and how THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER? But specifically for those haters to blatantly act like Colin doesn’t have established relationships with his sisters is crazy? Season 1 Colin’s first like is about how he will hurry Daphne along and that he should go because she likes him more than Benedict (a joke). He also looks at Eloise with pure pride when she yells for Daphne and she smirks at him cause they both love chaos. Colin tells Daphne he’s going on tour to Greece and she shows genuine interest and says how exciting! Also is everyone forgetting that Daphne pleaded to Colin to take her to the duel so she could stop it? Also despite what he was going through with the Marina pregnancy reveal he was able to clock that something was making Daphne sad and asks her about it! How are they pretending he had no relationship with Daphne?!?

And then they really went and tried to say the Eloise and Colin relationship in season 3 was forced lol. Like Eloise isn’t also def ending him to Anthony in season 2 when Colin takes out funds for the cousin Jack scheme. Like Colin isn’t one of the only ones to clock Eloise hiding pamphlets. They literally bicker throughout season 2. Also Eloise is the one to tell Colin that Marina lives not far from Aubrey Hall and even says he should not go to see her as it will be painful. Also the reason all this makes me so mad is because Colin is literally such a GOOD brother to ALL his siblings! Like in season 2 being so concerned about Benedict’s sadness and trying to help albeit with psychedelics but still. And being a match maker to Kanthony as he’s the one who knocks Kate’s ball into the woods and goads them to both go get it leading to their sweet moment in the mud. Also in season 2 during the Bridgeton/Sharma ball that no one attends and they do that big dance. Colin’s the one who swings Eloise around and it’s so SWEET and she’s laughing. Luke even mentions that during his Instyle interview!

And he actually apologized to Eloise for not telling her about his love for Penelope. And that scene where he reminds Eloise how much she loves Penelope and how she used to talk about her non stop when the Featheringtons moved in across the street. Plus he even remembers Eloise and Pen reading Don Quixote and wanting to be Knights. To remeber that is a sweet brother?! Like what? That legit made me want to cry that means he wasn’t just placating his younger sister and her friend he was listening to what they cared about. It’s why Eloise is so protective of him with the Lady Whistledown secret and even to help them.

And he’s even close with Kate! Colin immediately running to hug Kate when she and Anthony return to Bridgeton house after the modiste bitch off. To the point Anthony gets jealous Colin didn’t even spare him a glance yet lol and comments about being chopped liver. And then divulging his worries to Kate and she gives him beautiful advice and caresses his chin!

He has sweet moments with Francesca too though not as overt bur Fran is the first one to run to hug Colin when he announces his engagement to Penelope! Also l when he tells John NOT to throw a rock at Francesca’s window it’s because he knows Francesca would not like that despite Benedict’s insistence it would be a romantic gesture lol. Not to mention one John announces the engagement to Francesca; Colin immediately congratulates John and adopts him into the friend drinking group of himself, Benedict and Will. He’s also the #1 Mamas boy listening to her advice and being giddy to give her a present.

And he wrote to ALL HIS FAMILY MEMBERS while away on tour. And got every single one of them a thoughtful gift that was tailored to each person. He’s seen in the background in season 1 constantly playing with Gregory and Hyacinth. He’s the one who makes sure his siblings are okay emotionally and tries to make it better even sometimes with humor. Sorry I just can’t believe people really trying to pretend the siblings aren’t all close and love each other when that a huge part of the fucking show?! Especially sweetheart Colin! Sorry I know that was a lot but like it’s crazy how people can watch a show and ACTIVELY ignore the narrative. Anyway haters can STAY mad as Colin is a wonderful brother, son, husband and father! And I matter how they delude themselves he’s still gonna be in the show and their faves STILL love him lol.

JUSTICE FOR COLIN BRIDGERTON

HE dumped HER. “Penelope should’ve chosen Debling” SHE DID. Did you not watch? She ran after him tried to convince him to propose to her anyway, and he dumped her. He had her, but he decided fighting for her was more trouble than she was worth and dumped her.

And I think people don’t want to reconcile with that because they have this golden boy fantasy of Debling, but they let Penelope become the first and only lead female of Bridgerton who we see get dumped. He turns his back on her and walks away.

And Colin? Colin watches her run after that man, thinks she’s pissed off at him and has no chance at all, is told directly by Penelope that she wants Debling to propose and that she plans on accepting, and what does he do? He chases down her carriage on foot and begs on his knees for her.

This statement from Colin to Eloise only becomes even more poignant as soon as he learns that Pen is LW. He has to make peace with the fact that the person in the way of what he wants most, to keep Pen safe and to be with her happily, is also Pen. That same person has the entire Ton against her, is even putting up a reward for her "capture", is making Pen do things in the dark of night. Colin cannot keep away from Pen and, by extent, from the person in the way of their happiness, because LW is threatening Pen. That secret stands in the way.

Colin never wants Pen to give up her love for writing, he only wants LW to stop threatening his wife. Him keeping his distance after the wedding is literally him becoming aware that he cannot win this fight against LW because LW as it is will not stop being.

"I cannot accept that", is Colin talking to LW, the person threatening to ruin it all, who has gotten inside the head of his Pen. At this moment, LW is only damage. But then he goes back and re-reads Pen´s letters and sees that LW has always been there in their relationship, but never in their way, if anything, it was strengthening it. When he tells Pen at the Butterfly Ball that he finally realises that "you are her" it might seem obvious to us the viewers (likes, yes we have known since season 1) but Colin has been the only person who has known this subconsciously since they met. Pen never had to hide that voice at all, and she never did with him. But it is hard to put two and two together when you are the only one who has always seen what is behind the curtain. Everyone else, not even Pen herself saw it.

That is why Colin tells her that the secret is what is in the way. Once Pen is able to be free of that secret, Colin is also able to be free of his, his insecurities. They built each other up, they make each other better. Sure, there are bumps in the road, but they are the youngest couple in the show, they have been friends since they were kids and they know, deep down, they know that even things said in anger or sadness or frustration, do not matter. What count are the things said in love. Which is why Pen knows why Colin said the entrapment line, why Colin forgives Pen about the things she wrote about him and the others once she explains. His only concern truly was her well being and future together, and the only way to be truly loved is to be truly seen. Colin always saw Penelope and Penelope always saw Colin, she always knew that he searched for a purpose, that he does not feel like enough, she tells him so. Pen does not push Colin until both have had a bit of drink and are honestly just wanting to get the fight over so that they can kiss each other again. Pen´s "girl boss" speech is her backtracking to the same person she was when she fought with Eloise, all she knows is defend herself with little self-editing. That rationale is what also makes her write about Colin and then immediately regret it. When she sees the BGTs and Colin at Francesca´s wedding she understands that that family is open and honest about who they are and lying to them and making Colin lie for her would be destroying what she also is, someone who loves Colin. And, yet, Colin was going to do that, she did not even have to ask. Because his only concern was her well-being and their future together.

They only have to look at each other, nod at their wedding to know that every bump will pass. It will be messy, as bumps are, but they will always make it.

colin literally never does that

he doesn't string anyone along, he is always upfront about his intentions. with Penelope he said repeatedly that they're friends in S1 and S2 and the start of S3, the instant they cross that threshold, he is honest with her about his feelings. hell, he confesses his love for her on his knees before they have their first sexual experience, and it completely centers her pleasure rather than his. With the debutantes, he's friendly and flirty but never hints or indicates he's interested in them romantically or sexually. if anything, he's obvious about NOT being interested in them. he deflects their compliments for him, he compliments their dresses as being pretty for someone else to want to wife them. he doesn't even dance with them. fuckboy WHERE?

'oh but dolly, the brothel scenes-'

y'all do realize that casual sex in and of itself is not the indication of a fuckboy. . .right? tell me you do. please. tell me y'all realize that having a purely sexual relationship, that you established with your partner(s) beforehand and both consented to, isn't what makes someone a fuckboy??? None of the women he had sex with prior to realizing he loved Penelope were under ANY impression or desire to have a relationship with Colin outside of sex. Colin literally only had a handful of partners, one of whom, the Contessa, is higher than him in rank and almost definitely a widow with a title. Guaranteed, she's just looking for fun with a sweet pretty boy on his travels. The women he has sex with at a brothel are paid for a service that they consent to providing, are paid in advance, treated respectfully and honestly, and also have no interest in a relationship with him outside of that. with Penelope, he's honest about his intentions to marry her before they have sex, he doesn't ever even consider breaking off their engagement, and he continues to stick around for her even when he's deeply upset, not pressuring her into closeness or intimacy at any moment, even when it's evident that he wants her.

Like, be forreal, what fuckboy do you know acts like that??? What fuckboy do you know is a married man at 22?? Colin's not a player, he's not a womanizer, he's not a liar. He put on a cocky persona to fit in with the gender roles of his society and then lasted. . .what? 3 weeks? A month? Let's be generous and say TWO WHOLE MONTHS of him donning that particular devil-may-care I'm-so-hot persona before he gave it up. In that time, he didn't seduce or ruin or lie to any woman. He's a flirt, and he's charming, and he's attractive and puts on a front that he's not insecure so he can fit in.

But that's not being a fuckboy.

colin's flaws in the show are not the same as his flaws in the book, but they almost treated him like they were. where in the book, his main flaws are his temper and being a flake, in the show, Colin doesn't really get angry. Not in the way his book counterpart does. And Colin is not flakey, either. If anything, he runs heartfirst into his problems. And other people's. His travels aren't necessarily an escape: they're to complete his education. Now, Colin DOES look for escape, but in other ways: drink, drugs, rotting in bed (god, what a relatable king), but his travels? I don't see that. Yeah, he needed distance after S1 to heal over heartbreak, but that's not the primary goal. And the second go around, he's not running away from anything, either.

In fact, everything about Colin points to the fact that he's the opposite from his book counterpart in this sense. Please keep in mind- he is ONLY 22. He essentially did the regency equivalent of getting a bachelor's degree after two years of study abroad and then got married to his childhood best friend right whilst he published his thesis (the travel logs). Unlike in the books, PEN is the one who runs away. She offers up annulment (that Colin refuses), she resigns to paying off Cressida (whilst he goes to talk to her), she literally races off to her carriage to cry and go home (and he chases after her). Colin does NOT have the character flaw of flaking out, which means him sticking around, staying through everything, is not symptomatic of his character growth, but just an inherit character trait of his.

No, Colin was never looking for escape. And he wasn't even necessarily looking for MEANING.

He was always, from the first moment we met him, looking for himself.

Colin's main character flaw in the show is his confusion and insecurity of self. Not only in his arc of trying to parse out what it means to be a man of his society, fighting against and trying to meet gender expectations, trying to be someone others listen to and care about, but also his general selflessness. Colin does everything with very little regard for his own well-being. Colin doesn't care about being humiliated or looking like a fool, he runs after Penelope regardless. Multiple times. Colin refuses her annulment yes because he loves her and wants to stay, but also because he cannot leave her to her lonesome, even if he goes down with her. Even with Marina, Colin would have married her if she was honest, his own happiness not even a consideration. His own feelings, his own emotions, come secondary. Thus is the plight of the chronic people pleaser.

And at the end of the show, he doesn't crack through that. Even when, arguably, Penelope is the best person to help him do so. Not only because Penelope is in the habit of putting herself first (which, frankly, she should be doing and I applaud her for. When she's asked who Whistledown was meant to protect and she answered 'Me', I think that was the most honest she'd ever been, and probably when I respected her the most), but also because she has had the buildup in Polin of being the stable one. The one who fell first. The one who doodled love notes in her diary and had stars in her eyes whenever she talked to him. What's that one quote? Someone who thinks they're hard to love being with someone who loves them like breathing? If there's ANYONE who could convince Colin to consider himself more, it's Penelope 'What of him? What of Colin?' Featherington.

But then. . .she doesn't. And so he doesn't. The last speech is that he is happy to stand off to the side and soak up a bit of her light.

Which, let's not parse words here, Chat, he has BEEN doing. Colin is not an arrogant character who takes up all the spotlight. He has ALWAYS existed on the outskirts. By the end of the season, he continues to.

Which takes us then to Penelope, who also ends very similarly to how she began. Penelope's main flaw is not that she considers herself above or before others (again, I think putting herself first is, ultimately, good!), but rather that she does not trust anyone to help her. As someone who has learned to be hyper-independent, mostly as a trauma response, I understand her. But I still think it was the wrong move not to challenge that.

Half the appeal of a partnership is that you can lean on someone else. That you no longer have to do things all by your lonesome. That someone is there to confide in, to support, to take some of that weight, to depend on. Colin is the PERFECT person for Penelope to learn to lean on others with. She does not do so with Eloise. She does not do so with her family. But Penelope in the previous seasons LIKED that Colin would do things for her. She LIKED that she didn't have to do things all on her own. That Colin would defend her, or think of her. Compliment her and support her and ask her questions and encourage her to open up. That he went to bat for her with Jack. That he wrote her letters. Colin made Penelope feel special because the way he loved her made her feel SEEN. His love helped to soften her. There is something so unyielding sweet in the knowledge that this woman who has clawed her way to notoriety and safety and freedom was all but skipping down her hallway in girlish glee after he danced with her. I LIKED that. I LIKE the fact that she can find ease with him. That she doesn't HAVE TO be strong.

But then in S3, they decided to lean even more into her hyperindependence, to the point where I am ASTONISHED it didn't shoot her further in the foot. Penelope informs the Queen she's LW alone (which was HER choice), Penelope sleeps alone in her marriage bed and doesn't reach out to him, Penelope makes all the big decisions alone, Penelope tells Colin she does not need him to do anything for her.

Yeah yeah, 'he feels like he needs to do things to earn love and she's telling him he's enough just as who he is'- but part of who Colin is IS being useful. He LIKES doing things for others. He LIKES feeling accomplished because he assisted someone.

Doesn't. . .everyone? Is that not a hallmark of a caring person? And isn't a sign of vulnerability, you know, that thing we NEED if we're going to have a relationship with someone. . .letting them? Letting them love us? Letting them care for us?

There are a lot of things I think S3 did well, but the main problem for me will always be that the core of Polin as a unit was missing. The appeal was ALWAYS about 'these two people are perfect for each other because they're so alike but they also CHALLENGE one another'. Who better to challenge Penelope's hyper-independence than Colin? Colin who looks out for her, Colin who loves to uplift her, Colin who wants to love openly and loudly? And who better to challenge Colin's self-disregard than Penelope? Penelope who considered him when no one else would, Penelope who wrote him more letters than anyone else, Penelope who listens?

Instead, the version of them we got in S3 landed so. . .flat, to me. Yeah, the 'and everyone clapped' ending was ick. Yeah, the editing was sloppy and Benedict's never ending threesome felt like I was in purgatory being punished for some sin or another. But at the end of the day, the thing I wanted, and that would make the two of them really shine as a couple, was seeing Pen and Colin become POLIN. Better because they're together. A team.

They never really became one, imo. And that's infuriating because the opportunity for it was RIGHT THERE. Polin is a golden opportunity couple. Guaranteed happy ever after, complex characters, multiple seasons to build them up, actors who have off the charts chemistry with each other. They had hours on hours to give us Polin working together toward a common goal. And then. . .didn't?

You’re telling me Luke Newton naturally has the sparkly eyes of an old Hollywood ingenue???? Oh I bet.

Penelope wrote about Eloise because she was just trying to save her from the Queen. Penelope was doing what she thought was right at the time. What Penelope should have done WAS TO TALK TO ELIOSE about how to fix it.

Colin confronted Cressida and told Penelope "it's not up to you what we do" because he was doing what he thought was best at the time. What he should have done WAS TALK TO PENELOPE about what to do.

if penelope is even HALF as horny for colin as i am, she's not doing SHIT in the next few months save for getting railed at any given moment. gossip? fuck that. friends? never heard of her. career? on vacation.

i want a scene where colin is halfway out the door to get something and then she just yoinks him back inside. an hour later he reemerges covered in lipstick kisses with his hair a mess, fully dazed. i need the staff to be completely scandalized and draw straws for who has to deliver food and water to the door. i need the ton to question if they've gone traveling because they don't leave the house. i need his family to worry about his wellbeing 6 months into the fact because they hardly hear from him and send liaisons of the family for check ups and whoever it is has to return completely red-faced like 'they're fucking again'. i need her feral for him

Like. Okay? Yes, he was masking. He had reasons for it. God forbid he wanted to be popular and accepted, to feel important like we all want to. God forbid he was made fun of for who he was in earnest before, too soft, too young, too eager, too much of a nerd with his infodumping- so he changed it all to fit in. God forbid he was tired of being dismissed. And that it WORKED, and he was even praised by his own brother, who had consistently been the most critical of him.

but even if he DIDN'T have very understandable, sympathetic reasons for coming back the way he did in Season 3. . .Penelope shouldn't have written about him that way in her article, regardless. We ALL mask. We all hide and masquerade. Do YOU deserve to be publicly called out for everyone to laugh at when you do? Would YOU have handled it with as much grace to know that a friend, a loved one, someone who has known you since you were a child, and a person you trusted deeply and felt saw the best of you, published a rant about how you aren't shit and that you're a big pretender instead of just talking to you? "Oh, but he was being fake-" So what? Penelope hid an entire alternative persona. That's fake, too? What foot does she have to stand on, here?

"Oh, but Penelope was just being brutally honest-"

Who the FUCK asked for her brutal honesty? When she didn't have any tender honesty, empathetic honesty, understanding honesty, careful honesty, loving honesty to give him? When she had nothing but silence and avoidance after overhearing him ONE TIME say something that wasn't even MEAN, wasn't even a dunk on her character. Just that he wouldn't court her. That was enough for her to burn the bridge in righteous anger to the fandom. It took one conversation, ONE, between Colin and Penelope, and he cleared the air for her anger to fizzle. But her actions remained, done in her frustration. Her words remained, printed on a page, lined her pockets.

She couldn't take that article back. But she was too stubborn to apologize for it. She wasn't ready to face the fact that she wrote it maliciously, not because she "wanted the Colin [she] knew, back". She wasn't ready to own up to that. Not even when he confronted her for it. And the fandom doesn't want to, either. Colin should just suck it up, right? She was just telling the truth. He should get over it.

But he SHOULD be upset about it. Welcome to the other side of the 'feeling, occasionally excitable Colin'. He loves deeply, and he hurts deeply, too. Hurts worse BECAUSE he loves so deeply. And you can't want one trait of his without the other. Penelope's actions are on HER to rebuild trust with Colin, not for Colin to 'stop being so sensitive'.

If the fandom had more people who actually empathized with Colin, they would see that article as the gut punch it is. They wouldn't find it funny. Your friend, who you thought saw you when no one else really did, who you cleared the air with the instant you know you upset her, who you never gave up on, took a good look at you and at the first displeasure, said you sucked to everyone she knew.