99% perspiration, 1% potassium benzoate

Life never *gave* us lemons. We fucking made them.

*limit three tudes per customer

Happy birthday wishes are in order for my beloved, @the-anastasia . Do hop over to her feed to leave her appropriately good wishes for her birthday ☺️🎂

They never appreciate that I make them feel smelled.

For details, come to the Howard Johnson’s Motel on Route 6, room 17, just by the ice machine.

*Donald J. Bone Spurs

This is what I tell myself as I try to explain why there is so much frozen okra in the refrigerator.

"I would consider it a privilege to be assimilated by the Borg.  That’s what everybody else wants — to be part of the collective. For some reason, that’s repellant to you, and I find that personally offensive,” said Borg representative, Locutus of Fox, formerly known as Jesse Watters.

Is there such a thing as double mast?

b) I can't be counted on to use a consistent labelling scheme for all my points