Fake animals and swimming lessons

Hi there! Thank you for asking, and never apologise for wanting to be respectful about including people. I wish more people did that. 

I tried to make this short at first but it’s just impossible for me, so buckle up because I’m passionate about this. 

Same as with writing any minority, including trans people in your story doesn’t mean you get to talk about the experience of belonging in said minority. While you might have some empathy, unless you’re basing your trans character’s story on a specific experience of a real person, you have an enormous chance of being misguided by pop culture and its obsession with turning us into tragic, suffering figures only there to be pitied or as a way to shock the audience or as a way for the writers to get diversity cookies. We’re just people, and even if we do have traumatic backstories, let us talk about them in our own terms. Make a character that just happens to be trans, but don’t focus on that part of their identity because that bit is not yours to tell.Example: Madeline is an actress. She likes sci-fi and is currently studying French literature while she follows her passion for theatre. She also sings and plays the ukulele and piano, she has a YouTube channel where she does operatic covers of video game themes and makes nerdy songs about popular fictional characters, and wants to play the main part in a West End musical one day. She knows it’s hard because she’s trans, but she trusts her abilities, and she’s grateful for the few fans she’s gotten from YouTube who are super supportive.

Don’t be misguided by stereotypes. 99% of trans women don’t dress like drag queens, trans men are not butch lesbians who just desperately want a dick, and not every trans person has a tragic past with their family because of their identity. Also, no need for your trans char to be 100% feminine or masculine to PROVE they really are trans, and there’s no need to be a short-haired, flannel-wearing, very non-gendered white thin model in order to be non-binary. Example: Madeline has a girlfriend and two dogs. She lives in a small flat and struggles to pay rent, but she’s happy. Every Sunday she visits her dad. She’s an only child, and he absolutely adores his daughter and her girlfriend and likes to cook for them. She’s got her differences with her mother because she wanted Madeline to be a doctor, not a starving artist, and thinks she’s irresponsible, but Madeline was tired of trying to live out her mother’s dream and has chosen to take some distance. 

How to make them come out? The same way you’d say anything about anyone’s past: respectfully. Don’t make someone find out against their will. Don’t have someone from their past misgender / deadname them and then put them in the awkward situation of having to explain themselves to both the people they once knew and the people they’ve chosen to surround themselves with in their current life. Everyone in my life knows I’m trans, and if they don’t yet, it’s because of circumstance, not a cunning plot of shame on my part.If you do want to have them be stealth, don’t treat the moment of coming out into a huge betrayal. No more hiding genitalia because they’re ashamed to tell their partner, no more telling their date and their date storming off because they trusted you, how could you not tell me, [deadname], if that’s even really your real name, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU HIDING, ARE YOU A MURDERER, and so on and so forth. Example: Madeline is accepted in a new acting group, and makes a new friend. They hang out, compliment each other’s Star Trek t-shirts, and have rehearsals together. They talk about parts they’d played in the past, and Madeline mentions that in high school she was given all the male parts even though she tried to get the female ones, but they wouldn’t give them to her because well, we all still thought I was a boy back then, but one teacher ever gave her the one she wanted, and she was her favourite, and hopes to invite her in the premiere of the play. “Aw, that’s so sweet,” her new friend says, who has met trans people before and realises that Madeline wants to focus on the affection for her teacher and not her own past at the moment, “I’m so glad you showed them who’s the boss, I hope your teacher makes it. If you ever wanna talk more about that time i’d be glad to listen.” They keep eating their ice cream. Here you can easily pull a Raymond Holt and make her openly trans but the people around her just don’t seem to get it because she’s way too casual about it. I know I’d love to do that at some point but I tend to write in fantasy universes where it’s not a big deal in the first place. If you can do that, even better. In sci-fi and fantasy, it’s always so refreshing to see people who actually imagined worlds without transphobia. 

Now, what I’d like to see. I kept this one for last, because I’m picky.I guess, no more transphobic violence. No more showing who the bad guy is by verbally / emotionally / physically attacking the trans character for shock value.No more trans character being there just to be trans. Make a Krem, who’s there to tell weird stories of past jobs and be the second in command; make a Rhett Hennesey, who’s there to be the protagonist and kill paranormal creatures and find his destiny; make a Nomi Marks, genius and very queer and an incredible hacker, kind, badass, there to be part of something bigger and share the love; make a Cheri Littlebottom, forensics expert extraordinaire, who makes friends and reinvents herself and claims her identity tooth and claw and earns people’s respect and will not get rid of her amazing dwarven beard or her lipstick and high heels; don’t make a Sophia Burset, who is forgotten after a few episodes and she’s only there to waste a talented actress’ abilities and remind people that hey, look, there’s a trans woman in here, look how tragic her life is, look how her identity is tearing her family apart and literally put her in prison. And in the end, because I’m picky, no, don’t make a Krem or a Rhett either, because they’re treated as cross-dressing women from their narratives, and they’re both awesome and deserve better than that.In the end, I’d like to see trans protagonists. Trans teachers, and lovers, and criminals, and superheroes, and space captains. Feminine and fat and black and Native and Mediterranean and alien and elven and muscled and disabled and ugly and hot and creative and famous and feared trans people. Two or even three trans people per story. Non-tragic trans people. Well-rounded, loved characters, whose motives are something else besides being trans, whose families value them, or if they don’t, it’s not because of their gender.

I’m going to mostly link to a bunch of resources I’ve already written and that others have written, which cover a lot of bases on this. I hope they help!

The first step is to get the basics down

Trans 101

Cissexism basics

The next step is to check out the harmful tropes and patterns plaguing trans representation, and what to be self-critical about in the planning, outlining, and writing processes

(harmful mpreg/b!p tropes regarding trans men rep)

(harmful elements of g!p pregnancy fics and how to avoid them)

(lengthy post discussing a wide range of harmful elements of g!p works)

(basic g!p 101 and discussion on pregnancy/insemination-themed content)

(basic 101 breakdown on g!p, b!p, and a/b/o)

(handling trans characters, including in fantasy + sex ed info)

(brief post on trans woman sex ed, referencing errors made in writing trans women sexually)

(writing trans characters in fantasy or AU realms, what pitfalls to avoid)

(covering very basic anatomical fuckups cis writers make all the time with trans women)

(more sex ed trans woman stuff)

(general advice writing trans characters and avoiding fetishization)

(more in depth post about assessing why you’re writing with trans characters, what approach is being taken, what general issues often crop up)

(pitfalls of cissexism in characterization and character design and casting)

(importance of recognizing that due to cissexism, society positions trans women as close to cis men as possible; lists examples on how to avoid it)

(post discussing elements of trans experience that tend to be ignored/dismissed; ciritque of elements of g!p and approaches by writers)

(more basic mistakes regarding trans women)

(issues of cissexism, gender norms, etc. writers often get hung up on)

The next step is getting help actually approaching the writing process. I don’t have many posts on this that I haven’t already linked above, so take what I’ve said there, and add on from these resources as well

(post with links to solid intro resources)

(more from that source)

But like, if you need a few easy rules to avoid the worst of it, at least about writing trans women characters

1. Know cissexism like the back of your hand, both in characterization and world-building

2. Don’t write PiV sex involving penis-owning trans women as the penetrators unless you’re a trans woman, and if you want pregnancy, use IUI or IVF, or surrogacy, or adoption. Respectively similar advice applies to writing trans men, I wager. 

3. If world-building, minimize our suffering (don’t leave us without access to transition, make society less terrible to us without tokenizing the oppression we face into a single evil entity)

4. Trans characters should have some dysphoria (which cannot be fucked/loved away), because almost no trans characters in media representation have dysphoria, and that’s an important part of our experience that gets neglected and erased

5. Humanize us as the #1 priority, because our default state of being fetishized will by default render us as an object/device to be used in a story rather than an actual person

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