hi, i actually accidentally logged onto this blog meaning to find another of mine. if anyone would like to know i’m not in that bad place anymore, not everything’s perfect but things are so much better and my mentality is so much brighter. thank you to everyone who sent such kind words to me <3 can’t believe this blog has 5000+ followers and i ditched it lol

i needed to vent but putting it in my notes like i usually do didnt feel enough. no one i know really looks at this blog n i just needed it somewhere. maybe i’ll come back with a new mindset and it’ll be great and i’ll delete that post but until then

wanna hear something sad? this blog used to be where i looked at nice and calming photos and it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. it’s been months and months since i’ve logged into it. and now i don’t give a shit about it and i’m angry. every post i see now i can feel how blissful and happy they are reblogging it. i dont fucking have that. i am missing a part that i used to have or maybe at least pretended having which felt nice for a while. i don’t have some desire to sit in a cottage with a book and some tea around a garden, ditching all technology and being at peace with the world. cause i’m not. it sounds so fake now. why the fuck did i believe i could be so happy. that was never in store for me.