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hello everyone! this may be long, but please bear with me.
i'm sure this will disappoint many of you, but i'm drawing a close to the infinite stars journey i have taken and will not be continuing with sea of treasure.
this isn't because i don't have any plans for the second book (in fact, I will be transforming my plans for the second book into a different fanfiction altogether) but it is because i have come to the hard decision to stop writing for BTS altogether.
while i will always hold the tannies in a fond regard as apart of my childhood and growing up, and will still appreciate a lot of their music and resonate with it, i just cannot find it within me to continue writing for them as their recent choices and decisions in handling recent events have disappointed me all too greatly. i haven't stood with the fandom, or their actions for a long time, but was able to stick it out because i had admired bts for so long. i had hoped they would someday prove me wrong, but obviously that is not going to happen and the group i have admired is long gone.
the reason I haven't made this decision earlier was because i had thought that this story was fiction, and that was enough to continue forward with the story i had envisioned, but upon reflection i had realized that was not enough incentive to continue writing for a group who has turned against so many of their morals and traits that led to my fierce admiration in the first place. so i cannot, with good conscience, continue to write for them anymore.
i ask that you please understand my decision and continue supporting my other works, which will now be mainly posted here and on ao3. and if you are interested in this storyline, i will be doing a similar one that's going to be more revolved around ateez instead.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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pairing(s) :: taehyung x female!reader | mingi x female!oc | hyunjin x female!oc | jimin x female!oc | jungkook x female!oc
genre :: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | idol au
summary :: “I’ve tried so many times to let you go already, is it too much to ask to hang on for now?”
warnings (constantly updated) :: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2025 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language | mentions of rape | childhood trauma | multiple forms of abuse | mentions of blood and injuries | toxic relationships | mentions of alcohol and drugs | r*pe | assault | graphic depictions of all the above
How was Jongho supposed to know two words would send everyone into a panicked chaos? After all, he tried hard to stay out of his member's drama. All he wanted to do was have a peaceful morning, enjoy his chips in peace, and relish the limited free time they had that day.
How was he supposed to predict an outcome like this?
He should've known better than to break the ice, however. Because now that he has, he's the one who has to bear the consequences of whatever happens next.
And he is the last person that wants to do that.
Melody screams as soon as Jongho speaks, realizing that she is not dreaming and that the eight members of Ateez are really here, peering down at her in curiosity as she sleeps.
It's a sudden scream, and a continuous one, that once she starts she does not stop. It startles the members as soon as it's released from her lips. They scream in different levels of sudden shock as a response, darting quickly out of Mingi's room as Melody rushes to close and lock the door behind them.
Melody only stops screaming once every member is out of the room, all eight clustered tightly together in the narrow hallway, and the door is firmly closed and locked behind them. She pants heavily, holding tight to the doorknob as she leans against the lacquered wood, an equal measure of shock and fear pushing adrenaline fast and steady through her veins.
"This can't be happening." She whispers, shaking her head violently as though she were still stuck in a dream. "I must be dreaming. This can't be real.
Melody slides down the door, her head held in her hands as she violently tries to remember what happened last night. And on the other side of the door, making no moves to get out of the crowded hallway...
"She's insane!"
...Wooyoung is in a similar, much more dramatic, state of distress.
He clings tightly to San's side, his eyes wide and pupils heavily dilated as he stares at the door as though it were going to come alive and attack him at any given moment. Seonghwa rolls his eyes at the sight.
"She just woke up to eight men staring at her while she slept, how would you react?" Yeosang scoffs at Seonghwa's sharp words, nudging Yunho's side gently.
"I'd reckon he'd love that scenario," he mutters, under his breath, earning a satisfying snort out of Yunho at the sudden, albeit not as bizarre as you would hope, image that comes to mind. He purses his lips tightly together, trying his best to stifle what would no doubt be an uncontrollable laugh. Turns out, he doesn't have to try that hard because as soon as he sees the chilling look on Mingi's face, all his laughter dies out and he smiles sheepishly.
Mingi rolls his eyes at the pathetic cover-up, promptly pushing past the two as he tries his best to shimmy his way back to his bedroom door.
"Would you all get out of my way?!" He snaps, and eventually, manages to push his members aside, with a few disgruntled groans and snide comments sent his way. He pays no mind to them as he reaches the door. He hesitates, taking a deep breath to steady himself and his nerves before he wraps his hand around the doorknob and opens it.
Well, before trying to open it.
After all, in all the commotion, how was he or anyone else supposed to know Melody had locked herself in? His eyes widen when he realizes and he turns to his members slowly, a lost look on his face. Needless to say, it doesn't take long for them to figure out the situation.
Hongjoong lets out a large, loud, and obviously frustrated sigh.
"Great," he grumbles, and throws his hands up in the air, exasperated. "Now we have a psycho locked in our dorm!"
Mingi gives Hongjoong a death glare, and Seonghwa is quick to dig his elbow deep into Hongjoong's side. Not quick enough to beat the shocked and somewhat maniacal laughter Melody erupts into on the opposite side of the door, however.
"I'm the psycho?!" Hongjoong flinches at Melody's response, obviously not expecting her to be able to hear him. Melody laughs again, her head tilting back against the door with a soft thump in her hysterics. "You're the ones who kidnapped me, and I'm the psycho???"
Hongjoong scoots close to Seonghwa, nearly hiding behind his body as he regards the door with a certain level of dismay, nearly mirroring Wooyoung's dramatics from earlier. Seonghwa has half a mind to push him away, but only sighs deeply, slapping Hongjoong's hand away from where he tries to cling to Seonghwa's t-shirt.
"She can hear me?" He whispers, aghast. Seonghwa rubs his temple in his growing annoyance, fixing Hongjoong with a sharp, stern glare.
"Of course, she can hear you!"
"Why does she think we kidnapped her?" Yunho ponders quietly, the rest of the room choosing to ignore the fact that Hongjoong has folded his arms in defiance, pitifully sulking at Seonghwa's side. Wooyoung shrugs, his initial panic now gone and replaced with his usual quiet amusement.
"Beats me," he mumbles, trying to peer around Mingi's massive shoulders and catch a glimpse of Melody through the crack of space between the hinges of the door and wall. "What could you have possibly done to this girl, Mingi?"
"Would you all just shut up?!"
Everyone falls silent at Mingi's sharp tone. Everyone, that is, except Wooyoung.
He scoffs, instead, taking a breath to fire back a snarky retort. Before he can, however, Mingi sends him a chilling stare that automatically causes whatever words he had waiting on the tip of his tongue to dry out. Wooyoung chuckles nervously, holding his hands up in surrender and backing away from the door.
Mingi turns away and faces the door with a new, raw vulnerability. Almost as though he were nervous, scared of what comes next. He steadies himself, before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door, gently.
"Melody?"
Melody flinches at the sound of his voice on the other side. Though it's muffled, almost indiscernible due to how softly he speaks, she can tell he's close. So close, that his voice nearly vibrates the wood against her back, as though it were trying to merge itself within her heart. He's quiet, almost timid, a stark contrast to the sharp tone he had used with his members, not even a moment ago.
But that's not what's surprising to her.
After all, this is the same tone he's always used when it came to her. It didn't matter how upset she made him, how tired he was after a long day of practice, or how often she got on his nerves, he was always gentle and sweet on her. Almost as though there wasn't a single bone in his body that could stay mad at her. Not even when she had cut him out of her life, hurting him beyond repair. Even then, he remained gentle and kind.
Melody had never felt like she deserved it.
But no, that is not what surprises her.
What surprises her, instead, is how vividly she remembers.
She wasn't supposed to remember anything. Not him, not that calming voice, not his face, the way he looked at her, the way he made her feel. She was supposed to forget, forget it all, and she thought she had succeeded. But as soon as he spoke her name, as soon as that voice entered her heart once again, every memory she'd fought so hard to bury came rushing back.
"No..." Melody whispers, shaking her head in denial. "No, this can't be happening."
And maybe she wouldn't have minded. Remembering.
After all, the memories she shared with him will always be precious. They were soft and sweet, a time in her life when she didn't feel so alone. He was the one person to give her some sense of happiness despite the horror she was experiencing otherwise. When she was with him, that pain was able to subside, even if it was for a little while.
But those memories, no matter how cherished in her heart, also bring with them memories too dark and painful. So much so that she knows she would give up the ones with him if it meant she'd never have to feel that pain again.
Mingi sighs on the other side of the door, unable to hear her.
"Do you remember anything from last night?" he prompts, trying to get any type of reply from her. Any sign to let him know she's okay. "Anything at all?"
Melody swallows hard, trying her best to regain her composure. She starts frantically looking around the room for another way out. Any other option that will help her escape confronting him face to face.
"What does that matter?" She shouts, finally forming a proper response to him directly that he can hear through the door if only to not arouse any kind of suspicion as to what she's doing on the opposite side.
"You were drunk," Mingi explains to her, matter of factly. Melody scoffs at the dreadfully unhelpful information.
"So?"
"So," Mingi sighs, trying to find the best words to explain the events from last night without embarrassing her in front of his friends, even more so than she's already been. He hesitates, glancing at their expectant faces waiting right behind him, before sighing, choosing each word he says next carefully. "You were so drunk, you passed out. Outside of a convenience store. After trying, and failing, multiple times, to buy the same bottle of alcohol."
Wooyoung snickers, promptly dodging the quick smack San sends to his arm. It doesn't help that San is trying to keep a straight face himself, and Wooyoung's evasion has led to a harsh snort from the man. Which in turn, leads to smirks and giggles from the remaining five members in the room.
Melody blushes, practically physically cringing at the embarrassing memory, and every moment that came after, as it rushes painfully through her mind at Mingi's words. She groans, almost retreating into herself, but the sight of a window on the opposite wall brings her back to her senses. She shakes herself out of her embarrassment, almost immediately rushing to it once she sees it.
"So what?!" she strains, stretching her arm to try and reach the window lock that's just out of her reach. "That still doesn't explain why I'm here, dressed in new clothes, now does it?"
Mingi grows tired of trying to jiggle the door open through force alone. He groans in deep frustration, turning to Jongho. Unsurprisingly, the only one who hasn't been an infuriating pain in the ass this morning.
"Get me a screwdriver from the kitchen." He whispers to him urgently. Jongho nods wordlessly and immediately darts to the kitchen. No doubt grateful to escape the situation for a few seconds.
San shares a perplexed look with Wooyoung as Jongho brushes past.
"We have screwdrivers in the kitchen?" He mutters softly, Wooyoung shrugging in a clueless response.
"I didn't even know we had screwdrivers, period."
Mingi ignores them, turning back to the door to answer Melody.
"You're here, at our dorm, because you passed out before you could give me directions to your place." Melody gives up trying to stretch her arm up further than it can go to unlock the window. She barely listens to Mingi's explanation as she starts to search his room for anything that resembles a stepping stool, or materials she could use to make one. "You're dressed in new clothes because you threw up all over me and yourself, and I figured you didn't want to sleep in it."
Jongho returns with the screwdriver. Mingi thanks him silently and begins to use the tool to try and pick the lock. Just as Melody has finished crafting her step stool on the other side.
She steps back from her quick, and honestly, unstable work and sighs, rolling her eyes at his poor excuses. She sends a sharp glare towards the door, as though he would be able to feel it through the slab of lacquered wood and metal, before climbing atop the makeshift contraption.
"Well, why didn't you just use my phone?"
"Your phone was dead."
Melody winces as she remembers the last call she had made to Kallista that night. Her fuzzy memory led her to believe she had just hung up, but a quick glance at her phone plugged in in a far corner of the bedroom lets her know Mingi is telling the truth. She hesitates, turning back to the window, her fingertips resting on the window's lock.
"Then why didn't you leave me there?"
Though the words are soft-spoken, Mingi hears them loud and clear. He pauses, his hands loosening around the doorknob and screwdriver, and raises his eyes to the door.
Behind him, the members notice the shift in the air and share looks with each other at the sudden tension. No doubt wondering just what kind of history these two have to be able to render an entire room speechless at a clearly unspoken, intimate, encounter.
Mingi sighs, pressing his forehead against the cool surface of the door.
"I'm sorry." He murmurs, his voice thick with sincerity.
Melody swallows hard. With shaking fingers, she unlocks the window.
"I know it must've been startling to wake up in a strange place the way you did, but I couldn't leave you there."
Melody opens the window. She glances back at the door where, on the other side, Mingi has tightened his grip around the doorknob, closing his eyes tight as he presses his forehead against it. As though if he simply wished hard enough he would be able to phase through the molecules and find his way back to her on the other side.
"I just couldn't."
Melody's throat tightens at the sound of the thick emotion coating his throat, causing his words to glide almost painfully against his vocal chords. She turns back to the open window, conflicted.
"Melody?"
Mingi pulls his forehead off the door and clears his throat. He ignores the varied strange looks his members send his way and resumes picking the lock.
He doesn't expect her to answer right away. To expect anything out of her, after the kind of morning she has been through, would be more than close to selfish. That isn't to say that he does not selfishly hope for one. For any form of acknowledgment that would let him know she was okay in there, no matter how long it took for her to reply.
But Melody doesn't respond.
"Melody...?"
Melody still doesn't reply.
Mingi starts to grow worried. He glances at his members, finding seven concerned and mildly confused faces staring back at him. He begins to grow frantic, panic swelling violently in his throat, and hurries his process.
"Melody? Are you there?!"
"Where would she have gone?" Yunho shakes his head, at first, clueless at Hongjoong's question, but then his eyes widen as he realizes something and he begins to push past his member to reach Mingi's side.
"Isn't there a window in that room?" Though the question was meant for Mingi, it is Yeosang that answers.
"Yeah, but we're on the sixth floor," Yeosang snorts at the unbelievable insinuation, shaking his head in disbelief. "What good would climbing out of that do?"
As soon as he utters the words, Mingi freezes and the room automatically goes quiet. They turn slowly to Yeosang, simultaneously. Yeosang chuckles nervously at their serious expressions and their eyes wide with concern.
"What? You guys seriously don't think...?" Yeosang trails off when it's clear they do, in fact, think that Melody, in her fear and panic, would definitely try to climb out of a sixth-story window just to escape this insane situation.
And once more, chaos ensues.
Mingi turns back to the door. He tries pushing against it with his shoulder and body weight alone. His hands begin to shake in his panicked state, and the screwdriver he was using to pick the lock falls to the floor.
"Melody?!" Mingi's voice starts to shake almost as much as his hands. Yunho looks at him in concern as Jongho silently picks up the screwdriver and starts to pick at the lock himself. Mingi continues to ram his shoulder into the door, despite Yunho's attempts to stop him and pull him back.
"There's no way she would have jumped, right?" Seonghwa asks waryingly. Hongjoong shakes his head, running his hands violently through his hair.
"Well, I don't know," He snaps, the situation doing nothing for his already, tightly wound nerves. "How scared do you think she was?!"
"I swear to God, Mingi," Yunho sighs deeply, trying to open the door at Jongho's soft tap on his shoulder. When it doesn't budge, Jongho frowns deeply before trying to pick at it again. "If it wasn't for you and your goddamn conscience..."
Mingi pauses from trying to break down the door so he can send Yunho a nasty look.
"Well, excuse me!" He exclaims, sure that his words are dripping in sarcasm. Yunho rolls his eyes at the outburst, but it doesn't stop Mingi from continuing. "I didn't think she would jump from a window just to get away from your sorry asses!"
Seonghwa scoffs, and San practically bristles at the accusation.
"Hey! Don't blame that on us!"
"Yeah!" Wooyoung chimes in, Mingi unable to help but find it a bit surprising that he had managed to stay quiet for this long. "How were we supposed to know? I mean, who in their right mind would even think of jumping from a sixth-story window?!"
"Nobody I know."
At the sound of Melody's voice, the room falls deathly silent once more.
They turn back to the door to see Melody has opened it on her own. She stands in the doorway, Jongho leaning against the frame beside her. He rolls his eyes at the rest of his member's behavior as he plays with the screwdriver in his hands absentmindedly.
Mingi peers past Melody, catching sight of the mess she made in his room.
The scatter of clothes, blankets, and pillows that dot his floor. The makeshift, and somewhat unstable stool she had made in her hurry. And the window that hangs open, a cool breeze blowing into the room and sending a chill down his spine. He gives Melody a quizzical look at the sight and she chuckles nervously, stepping into the hallway and creaking the door closed behind her as a means to hide the mess.
"Well, I did consider it," Melody murmurs, peering anxiously up at Mingi's face, her stomach doing backflips at the sight of his soft brown eyes gazing dedicatedly into hers. She swallows hard, her hand tightening on the doorknob as she forces herself not to look away, no matter how badly her nerve is failing her now. "But, I realized I couldn't leave without saying thank you."
Mingi blushes. It's a quick flush of red that covers his cheeks, twinges the tips of his ears, and sneaks down the back of his neck. Melody can't help but smirk at the sight of his face turning an immediate dark red hur. He is the first to look away, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck furiously as an unprompted, giddy smile spreads across his face just as quickly.
The rest of the members watch the sweet encounter with equal amounts of curiosity and mild disgust. Wooyoung in particular cannot help it anymore. He releases a sudden, high-pitched laugh, startling the unlikely pair as they turn to face him.
"Girl, you are fucking insane."
note :: and the plot thickens >:))))
i'm actually really excited for yall to find out the extent of Mingi's and Melody's history, even though it is hard for Melody to recount. but i wonder if yall can guess just how exactly they know each other based off what i've revealed so far so feel free to guess!
in any case, it may take me a while to get another chapter out, so i hope you enjoy the ones i did post for the past two weeks as much as i enjoyed writing them! and thank you so much to everyone for reading!!
pairing(s) :: taehyung x female!reader | mingi x female!oc | hyunjin x female!oc | jimin x female!oc | jungkook x female!oc
genre :: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | idol au
summary :: "you're the past I've tried my hardest to forgive"
warnings (constantly updated) :: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2025 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language | mentions of rape | childhood trauma | multiple forms of abuse | mentions of blood and injuries | toxic relationships | mentions of alcohol and drugs | r*pe | assault | graphic depictions of all the above
When Mingi brought Melody back to the dorms with him, he didn't really think things through.
It's not like him to bring people home. And, even if he did have a visitor for the night, he would never bring them back to the dorms he shares with seven other men. The thought of a stranger camping out with him, surrounded by his members, who are intent on keeping him humble, doesn't seem like the most ideal situation.
No, in those cases, he'd prefer to take them to a motel. Or perhaps the separate apartment that he owns, not too far from here. That was the place he brought his past partners, and might've been a safer situation for Melody then the current one she's in right now.
Knocked out, tangled up in his sheets, with two famous idols peering down at her in a mixture of contempt and curiosity.
"Shut up!" Wooyoung shushes Hongjoong briskly, after his outburst. He ignores Hongjoong's quick sideways glare, peering curiously at Melody instead. "You'll wake her."
Hongjoong scoffs, shaking his head.
"There's a stranger in our house, and you're worried about waking her up." He mutters, not so discreetly, and Wooyoung rolls his eyes at the targeted jab his way.
In all honesty, Mingi could've taken her somewhere else, anywhere else. It's what would've made the most sense, what any normal person would have done. At the very least, anyone else certainly wouldn't have thought that taking an unconscious, drunk woman back to a dorm full of eight idols living together, was the best-case scenario.
But this case is not like most cases, is it?
And he isn't just anyone.
Mingi knows he could've gone about this situation differently.
He didn't have to pay for her liquor or pretend to be her friend. He didn't have to tell the cashier some on-the-spot story about how he had lost her in the chaos of another night out partying. He didn't have to guide her outside the store or catch her when she fell to the floor, unconscious. He didn't need to direct her to sit at the picnic tables, nor rest her head on his shoulder. He didn't have to take her phone to try and call someone who could take her home, only to notice it had died long ago. He didn't have to make the decision to take her back with him, even if it was only to charge her phone.
He didn't have to take care of her, especially when that was exactly what she had asked him not to do. He knows she didn't ask for it, he knows she probably didn't even need it, that she could've figured it all out on her own.
But he couldn't leave her there. He just couldn't.
So he took her with him. He set her unconscious body carefully in his bed, grateful that the rest of his members were too drunk to notice, or had already passed out themselves. He wrapped her in his blankets, placed her phone on the charger, and sat to wait for it to charge. What he didn't mean to do was fall asleep himself.
"Don't call her a stranger," Wooyoung chastises. "It's rude."
"That's what she is, isn't she?" Hongjoong combats, but is quick to be rebutted, even before Wooyoung can open his mouth.
"No, actually."
The two of them turn around quickly when they hear Seonghwa's voice at the door. He's half asleep, his clothes still rumpled, and his hair a tangled mess. He rubs his eyes, yawning as he ventures into the room to join the two in their investigation. He peers at Melody in disinterest, but it's clear he recognizes her.
"She's not a stranger."
"What are you talking about?" Hongjoong exhales, his brow furrowing deeper by the moment. Wooyoung begins to giggle beside Hongjoong, his eyes glinting mischievously as he places them on Seonghwa's disheveled self.
"Did you get some action last night, Hwa?"
It takes Hongjoong a moment to register just what exactly Wooyoung has insinuated. Seonghwa seems to care less about it and gives Wooyoung a hard glare at his attempt to stir up trouble, but it's already too late. Hongjoong's eyes have already widened and he has already whipped his head to Seonghwa, confronting him head-on.
"You're the one who brought her home?!" His voice is shrill and loud, so much so that Melody begins to stir in her sleep at their feet. Wooyoung chuckles nervously at the overreaction, burning underneath the harsh glare Seonghwa sends his way.
"Yes, Hongjoong," Seonghwa snaps, his voice dripping in sarcasm as he rolls his eyes Hongjoong's way, "I went out and partied for an hour after spending the night next to you, just to bring someone else home and parade her in front of you."
"What?! You did?" Hongjoong practically bristles, either not catching on to the subtle jab at his distrust in his partner, or completely oblivious to anything other than his fury and jealousy.
"No!" Seonghwa proclaims, this outburst leading to a soft groan from Melody as she stirs once more. Too soft and insignificant to alert the three stooges' attention, however.
Wooyoung cannot help but snort at the interaction, his attempt at discord succeeding, but quickly falls silent as soon as Seonghwa places those piercing eyes his way. He chuckles nervously, elbowing Hongjoong deep in his side to inform him of his clear idiocy.
Hongjoong yelps, more from surprise than pain, before taking his turn to fix Wooyoung with a deep glare. Behind them, Seonghwa sighs, shaking his head and rubbing his temple, the current predicament doing nothing to help his hangover.
"Would you two shut up?" Almost as though flipping a switch, Hongjoong falls silent at Seonghwa's sharp tone. Wooyoung smirks at his obedience, humming innocently to try and grate on his leader's nerves for the millionth time. "I didn't bring her here, I just recognized her, that's all."
"Oh," Hongjoong mumbles meekly, the back of his neck turning pink in shame. Seonghwa wishes he didn't, but he can't help but find his mute embarrassment endearing and decides to let his previous behavior slide, at least for now.
"Now that you mention it, she does look familiar." Wooyoung murmurs, peeking back at Melody tangled up in Mingi's sheets. He frowns in concentration, trying to place her face. "I wonder where I've seen her before."
"Hey guys, did you--Oh, what's Melody doing here?"
Seonghwa and Hongjoong jump at Yunho's sudden appearance at the door, turning to give him a joint look of dismay. Yunho chuckles, muttering a small apology for startling them. Wooyoung, however, is unfazed and he snaps his fingers, his face brightening in realization.
"That's right! She's Melody!!"
"Who's Melody?"
Wooyoung turns to Hongjoong with a large smile, nearly blinding him. He points at the woman, surprisingly still slumbering peacefully at their feet.
"She's Melody!" Hongjoong nods weakly, pushing Wooyoung's energetic self away from him, but his dongsaeng doesn't seem to mind. Instead, he turns his dazzling smile to Seonghwa, who has to squint warily at his overwhelming excitement. "She was a trainee at KQ, wasn't she?"
Seonghwa nods, placing his hand over Wooyoung's face and turning him back to pester Yunho instead. When Hongjoong looks at him, still clearly confused, Seonghwa smiles dotingly.
"She was supposed to debut with AURA, remember?" Though it's still clear he does not, Seonghwa shakes his head, assuring him with a small pat that he'll let him in on it later. For now, he turns to Yunho, who listens to Wooyoung's rapid mouth with a disinterested stare.
"How do you know her, Yunho?"
Yunho places his hand over Wooyoung's mouth, earning a million muffled protests from between his fingertips. He shrugs at Seonghwa's curiosity, leaning against the doorframe.
"Through Mingi." He says simply.
"Mingi?" Hongjoong shares a concerned glance with Seonghwa, growing more confused by the second. "What are you talking about--"
"What are you guys doing?"
Yunho releases Wooyoung just as soon as San pokes his head into the room. Wooyoung smiles triumphantly, seeming to ignore the spit that remains on his chin after furiously licking Yunho's hand in an ongoing attempt to set himself free. San wrinkles his nose at the sight, quick to pull up his sleeve and wipe off the slobber.
"Mingi brought a girl home," Wooyoung explains as San completes the deed, resulting in a satisfyingly stunned reaction from his soulmate, and an obnoxiously loud shout from the other room.
"Mingi did what?!"
Wooyoung rolls his eyes at Yeosang's outburst, and Melody buries her face into the blankets as though that would rid her of the noises prying their way into her slumber.
"If you want to know, then come in here!"
Seonghwa sighs, glancing over at Melody and finally noticing her stir. He smacks Wooyoung sharply in his arm, promptly shutting him up, and gesturing furiously towards Melody.
"Would you shut up? You'll wake her!"
"Again, I ask, why are we so worried about that?" Hongjoong grumbles, sending Melody another pointed hostile stare, somehow with a tad bit more malice than he had before. "She's the intruder!"
Seonghwa rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to scold Hongjoong just as Jongho passes by the room, brushing his teeth. He doesn't seem fazed by the scene unfolding in Mingi's room and rolls his eyes as he catches Hongjoong's previous phrase.
"Please, as if you haven't brought plenty of intruders home yourself." He mumbles around his toothbrush as he moves past the room and towards the bathroom. And though quiet, his words bring a new, chilling silence to the room, Hongjoong freezing and Seonghwa furiously raising his brow as he turns to him.
"Have you now?" Each word is clipped and weaponized with harsh, shivering distaste, and nearly makes Hongjoong crack at the seams. He chuckles nervously, avoiding Seonghwa's sharp stare.
"No, of course not! That is completely taken out of context."
Melody starts to stir once more, but this time, it doesn't seem as though there will be much hope of her returning to sleep. Especially as the current chaos not only ensues but continues to grow.
"Yeah," Seonghwa scoffs at the pathetic excuse, folding his arms and turning away from Hongjoong's pleading gaze, "Likely story."
"Damn, hyung, who knew you'd be the cheating type?" Wooyoung murmurs, his arms now around San's shoulders and the smirk on his face only growing when Hongjoong turns to him in fury.
"Would you shut the fuck up?"
"What's the big deal?" Yunho smirks from his place at the door, finding all the excitement bemusing. "Plenty of us have taken people home with us before."
"Yeah, but never to the dorms!" Hongjoong snaps, indignantly, not realizing the mistake he's made, until Seonghwa laughs bitterly beside him. He shrivels underneath the cold glare Seonghwa fixes him with, much to the pleasure of their growing audience.
"Oh, so you have taken people home?"
"No, that's not what I said." Hongjoong shakes his head, trying to take Seonghwa's hand, but Seonghwa is quick to snatch it out of his grip before he's barely touched his skin.
"Sounded like it." San pipes up innocently from where Wooyoung presses absentminded kisses to his cheek. Wooyoung looks up from his small gestures of affection with bright eyes and turns to the pair with a devilish grin.
"It did, didn't it?" He giggles, San nodding in agreement and Hongjoong reaching his last straw with the pair.
"Would you two shut up?!" He practically roars, just as Yeosang appears at the door.
"Don't worry Hwa," He reassures Seonghwa calmly, advancing into the room and peering around the many bodies to try and catch a glimpse of the body that is still lying, undisturbed behind them. "It was before you two even started dating--Who is that?"
Wooyoung sighs dramatically, equally out of annoyance for Yeosang ruining his fun, as much as out of disinterest at a topic of conversation that has long since passed.
"See, you would know this already if you had been here."
"That's Melody," Yunho explains quite simply, as though everyone automatically should know who Melody is by now. Yeosang turns to him with an incredulous look, quite literally all the way out of the loop.
"Melody? Who the fuck is Melody?"
Yeosang won't get an explanation as to this turn of events until much later. After all, before anyone can say anything to explain, the perpetrator of poor life decisions appears at his door, surprised to find most of his team members ogling at his overnight guest.
"What are you guys doing?"
The six of them go quiet as Mingi appears behind Yunho, a towel around his neck and his hair freshly damp after taking a morning shower. And once more, no one has a chance to explain, for the topic of their conversation finally stirs for the last time behind them.
"Where am I....?"
Melody barely manages to untangle herself from Mingi's sheets, a few blankets hanging around her nimble body as she sits up. Her hair is a matted, tangled mess. Her makeup runs in streaks down her face. Her clothes are nowhere to be found and instead have been replaced with a fresh pair of Mingi's oversized T-shirt and boxers. Her breath smells like alcohol and vomit, and her head hurts like a motherfucker.
Mingi freezes.
The other six slowly turn to Melody, keeping quiet for the first time since they stepped foot in this room.
Melody yawns, rubbing her eyes drowsily as she starts to take in her surroundings, and silently hoping last night never happened. She groans, her eyes taking a second to adjust to the sudden light.
"Who are...?"
But as soon as her vision clears, her words catch in her throat, and a small part of her wishes she had never woken up. After all, in what world would it be an acceptable scenario for seven members of Ateez to be staring at you after you had just experienced the worst hangover of your life?
They stay there, in shocked silence, staring at each other. Melody, hoping that this is just another part of her fitful dream, afraid that if she moves it will make everything too real for her to handle. Everyone else, worried that if they even dared to breathe they would startle her past all chance of redeeming the situation.
Jongho passes by the room once more, this time with a bag of chips in one hand. He munches absentmindedly as he turns in disinterest when he reaches the open doorway. As soon as he sees Melody awake, he pauses. He watches the staredown in amusement, for a moment, but scoffs as soon as Melody's wide eyes meet his across the way.
"Oh, shit."
note :: this one is kinda a filler chapter but i thought it was really funny and cute so here you go!!
pairing(s) :: taehyung x female!reader | mingi x female!oc | hyunjin x female!oc | jimin x female!oc | jungkook x female!oc
genre :: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | idol au
summary :: “i'm not her, but I could be yours, if only for the night"
warnings (constantly updated) :: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2025 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language | mentions of rape | childhood trauma | multiple forms of abuse | mentions of blood and injuries | toxic relationships | mentions of alcohol and drugs | r*pe | assault | graphic depictions of all the above
The taste of alcohol plays bitter and sweet on his tongue as her lips press against his to feed it to him. Her fingers cradle themselves in his hair as he rubs his hands up her thighs. Her skin is soft beneath his touch, soft and smooth as he grips tightly to her flesh, sure to keep her secure on his lap…
It's safe to say that, in this moment, it's hard to think of anything else, much less anyone else, but her.
Kallista.
Recently relocated to Korea due to her job, she's a twenty-one-year-old marketing agent working for the most luxurious fashion brands and designers. She hopes to one day open her own boutique in Paris. She hates cigarette smoke and the taste of waffles...and there may be a few other bland fun facts to recount if Jungkook hadn't already replaced them with the taste of her lips against his and the exciting buzz of booze and adrenaline pumping through his veins.
When she pulls away, he loses himself in her glittering eyes, finding himself leaning in again before she's even had a moment to catch her breath. She giggles at his yearning, pushing his face gently away as she hops off his lap and back to the bench.
"Give me a minute to breathe, greedy motherfucker."
He smirks, watching her closely as she reaches for another shot of soju, and winces when it glides bitterly down her throat. She coughs a bit, before turning to Jungkook and making a face. He can't help but chuckle, reaching forward and wiping some of the liquid off her chin.
"What is it? Not to your taste?"
Kallista rolls her eyes, taking his hand and interlocking her fingers with his before she flops over onto his lap.
"Let's just say I'd prefer a whiskey any day."
Jungkook scoffs playfully, looking down at her affectionately as she begins to play with his fingers absentmindedly.
Jungkook doesn't know what it is about her that clears his mind of any trace of thought toward Yen. He doesn't know why being with her is as easy as breathing, nor why, in her eyes, he doesn't find himself drowning in a pit of deeper despair. All he knows is that for the first time in a long time, his heart doesn't feel as heavy as it has been. For the first time, he's able to forget, even if it's only for a little while.
"What are you looking at?" Kallista mumbles, chewing on one of the many cherry stems she's been attempting to tie into knots with her tongue. A pile of failed attempts lay scattered across the table, amongst the many empty glasses of assorted drinks they've ordered. Jungkook smirks at the reminder, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear before answering.
"You."
"That's cheesy as hell." Kallista rolls her eyes, discarding the cherry stem on the table as another mutilated, failed attempt.
"It's the truth." Jungkook shrugs, reaching for one of the many shots, still filled to the brim with liquid, sitting on their table. Kallista interjects his advance, snatching his arm and sitting up, fixing him with a mischievous look.
"Not so fast, we're still playing our game."
Jungkook groans, earning a smirk from Kallista as she repositions herself onto his lap, dangling the shot before him as though it were some treat.
"Oh come on, haven't I answered enough questions?"
"Not nearly." Kallista scoffs, attempting to wipe some soju off her fingertips. She loses her balance a bit on his lap as she does, but Jungkook is quick to catch her and steady her once more, his hand finding a new resting place on the small of her back. She smiles, the gesture not going unnoticed, and places a chaste kiss on his cheek.
"Now, this next question is very important," She whispers into his ear, her lips brushing briefly against his skin. It sends a shiver down his spine and he tries to hide the effect by swallowing hard and attempting to snatch the shot back.
"Is it?" He deadpans when she moves her hand away, giggling. She bites his ear gently before pulling away, the twinge of blush on his cheeks sending her heart into a rapid flutter.
"Yes, it is. It may make or break the game, actually."
Jungkook chuckles, "You don't say."
"I do say." Kallista crosses her arms, raising her brow as though daring him to challenge her again. Jungkook smirks, resting his head back on the couch cushion in mock annoyance.
"Well then, what are you waiting for? Lay it on me."
"Okay..." Kallista places the shot back on the table, before taking him by the chin, her fingertips cold and wet to the touch from the spilt droplets of alcohol. He smirks as he looks up into her eyes, dreadfully aware of the effect his flushed state has on her. He leans forward to distract her with another kiss, but she places a finger on his lips, smirking as she presses her forehead to his. "I want to know why you sent that drink."
Jungkook balks. He pulls his chin out of her fingers, letting her hands drape around his shoulders as she scooches closer. He sighs at the friction the action warrants, his hand tightening around her waist in his restraint.
"You're telling me you don't already know?"
Kallista laughs, a sound so high-pitched and throaty that he can't help but smile at it. She taps his nose before rubbing her own against it, those eyes boring deep into his own.
"Well, I could guess at it, and make my assumptions, but no, I don't know." She lowers her lips so that they are a mere inch apart from his, tempting him to close the distance, but pulling away before he can. "Not until you tell me straight up."
Growing a bit perturbed at her clear game of seduction, he runs his hands up and down her legs, raising a brow in amusement at the way she shivers and squirms on top of him once he does.
"Wow. I didn't take you as someone who needed such clarity."
She's not so caught off guard that she can't read him to filth, however. She bites her bottom lip, placing her hand at the nape of his neck and pulling slightly at the curls that lie there.
"That sounds like stalling, young man."
"I'm not stalling." Jungkook counters indignantly, but perhaps a bit too quickly. Kallista laughs, tangling her fingers in and out of his hair.
"I think you are." She says, in a light, sing-songy tone. Jungkook rolls his eyes, securing his hold on her waist before turning her over with a yelp on the bench. He leans down, until they are mere inches apart before smiling and finally placing a kiss on her lips, and only pulling away to taunt her once more.
"I am not."
"Well then, why don't you prove it?"
From where she lies now, her cheeks flushed, lips plump and red from her smudged lipstick, eyes wide and dazzling with laughter and mischief; she looks far from the calm and collected persona he had first laid eyes on. He wonders if this is a glimpse into her true nature, and why he finds himself drawn to her even more than he was before.
"Why did you send me that drink?"
Jungkook doesn't answer her right away. He can't because, for the first time since their encounter, he finds himself thinking back to Yen. Yet again, he finds himself wishing Kallista was her, wishing he could share a night like this with her instead of some stranger who managed to catch his eye at a nightclub.
"Jungkook? Are you okay?" Jungkook blinks at Kallista's soft words, almost as though he were waking from a dream. She looks up at him in concern, her eyes wide with worry. He nods, smiling sadly before pulling away and leaving Kallista bewildered at his sudden change in demeanor.
In reality, he feels guilty.
He's been guilty ever since he saw their performance on that stage. Ever since he finally dared to open his eyes to a truth that he was unwilling to accept was real. Guilty for even daring to fall in love with Yen, guilty for wishing for the impossible, guilty for using someone else, guilty for thinking it would be worth it as long as he could forget her, even for a moment.
Kallista stirs beside him, sitting up and peering at his face. Perhaps trying to find a reason hidden in his beautiful doe eyes. Jungkook smiles at her persistence, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
"You want the truth?" Kallista nods silently and Jungkook sighs.
"I'm trying to get over someone, and you were the first person who's actually helped me forget about her."
Out of all the things Kallista expected him to say, this wasn't one of them.
It surprises her but not for the reasons you may think.
"And this girl, is she an ex?"
Jungkook scoffs bitterly at the assumption.
"No, absolutely not."
"Unrequited love, then?"
Jungkook sighs, rubbing his hand over his face as though that would somehow erase the twisted situation from his mind altogether. Kallista can't help but smile inwardly at the clear frustration, no matter how understanding she is trying to be.
"Look, I just wish I could forget her. That's all."
The reason is tame, almost too tame it's surprising.
Kallista has dealt with men who wanted to forget about someone else, men who have used her to keep their bed warm when the real person they wanted at their side wasn't there. She's not unaccustomed to being the placeholder for someone else. To not being the person they want. She's used to being the one who's used, not the one they choose.
Kallista hesitates, her heart racing when he looks at her, a bit sheepishly.
It's strange to her that he would care about a distinction such as that. That he would be worried about hurting her feelings, or the way she'd react. It makes her nervous, a bit more timid, in a way.
After a moment, she smiles softly, handing Jungkook the shot and watching as he quickly downs it. It seems to take a bit of the edge off, and when he looks her way again, his cheeks have turned a bit more red, his eyes glossy and dazed.
"Okay, your turn," Jungkook smirks as Kallista reaches forward to wipe the corner of his lips where a drizzle of alcohol has managed to spill out in his hastiness. He presses a kiss to her fingertips quickly before he speaks next, his eyes twinkling. "Why did you accept my drink?"
"That's easy." Kallista laughs, pulling her legs over his and pinching his cheek in endearment. "You're hot, and I was bored."
Jungkook snorts at the simple reply. He hands her the glass and watches with lidded eyes as she quickly takes her shot. The liquid runs down her chin again, but this time instead of catching it with his finger, he leans forward and licks it off her skin with his tongue. Kallista freezes, slowly lowering the glass and staring at him with wide eyes as he lifts his face to meet her gaze. Eyes hooded and dark with desire.
"Your turn," He whispers, but it's not like before. The words are not laced with a sense of a joke behind it, or a sense of playfulness attached. They're serious and sincere, full of a deeper desire beyond that of wanting to be close. It fills the air, turns it tense and wanting.
Kallista clears her throat, afraid her voice might waver when she replies. She strokes his cheek before gazing into his eyes, hoping she likes whatever she finds there swimming in the depths.
"Do you want me to help?"
"Help? In what way?"
Kallista smiles. She climbs on top of his lap, this time making sure their bodies are pressed tightly together, his hands firm on her back. She leans forward, kissing his ear softly before whispering into it.
"Do you want me to help you forget her?"
Jungkook doesn't answer her. Instead, the moment she pulls away, he tightens his grip around her waist and pulls her in for a kiss.
The kiss is sudden and passionate, full of a deep hidden craving that has been growing inside of them since the moment Kallista accepted his drink from across the room. She runs her fingers through his hair, her nails scraping against his scalp in a carnal desperation. It sends shivers down his spine, his hands running up and down the frame of her body, as he looks for ways to pull her closer to him. He pulls away only once, to meet her eyes and ask...
"Are you sure you're okay with this?"
Her lips are swollen, her lipstick smeared onto her flushed cheeks and her eyes dark and dancing with desire. She smirks at the question, almost automatically leaning in once more and whispering her answer against his lips.
"Yes."
He closes his eyes as she moves her kisses past his lips onto his cheeks, his ear, his neck; until she reaches his collarbone, her thin fingers unbuttoning the top of his shirt. It earns a small, guttural moan from the back of his throat. Shivers run up and down his spine as he tries his hardest to restrain himself from giving into the carnal want that has awakened deep within him the moment she pressed her lips against his skin.
"You should know, I'm in love with her."
Kallista pulls away from his skin, turning back to him. She makes sure to look deep into his eyes before she speaks next, her thumb stroking his bottom lip before she breaks past them and lands on his tongue. She smiles as he sucks on it softly, the glossy shine over his eyes growing denser with want every minute she's there.
pairing(s) :: taehyung x female!reader | mingi x female!oc | hyunjin x female!oc | jimin x female!oc | jungkook x female!oc
genre :: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | idol au
summary :: “but when I'm with you, it's easy to forget all the pain"
warnings (constantly updated) :: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2025 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language | mentions of rape | childhood trauma | multiple forms of abuse | mentions of blood and injuries | toxic relationships | mentions of alcohol and drugs | r*pe | assault | graphic depictions of all the above
It would play on the corners of your mind, haunt you every night before you slept, every morning when you woke. There would be moments where you found yourself rehearsing what you would say. Moments where you'd replay it over and over again so that you were sure when you finally came face to face with him, your words would not dry up and leave you speechless.
It has been all you could think about all those times you have passed him in the halls. All you had anticipated every time your eyes caught his, bursting with unspoken things you longed to say.
But now that you're finally here, not even a few feet away from his side, you find all the words you had prepared, all the rehearsals you have painstakingly endured, every scenario, every scene you could have possibly thought up in your mind, have run dry. Leaving you with nothing left to say.
It's infuriating.
Taehyung still remembers the first time he held your hand, the same day he had met you for the first time.
He remembers the way he took it without thinking, almost as an afterthought. A gesture that he must have done millions of times before, but this time, with you, felt as though it was for the first time. He remembers the feeling of electricity that exploded throughout his entire body when his fingertips first brushed past yours. He can still feel the hitch in his throat, and the harsh beating of his heart when they almost instinctively wrapped around his. He remembers the way your hand fit so perfectly between his fingers, the way it felt so natural, so complete.
Almost as though they were created for him to hold.
Back then, it was almost as easy as breathing.
Now, as he looks your way, he doesn't know how to.
He questions whether or not you would accept him if he reached across the car seats, took your hand within his fingers, and held it close. He wonders if this time it would feel as natural as it had on that first meeting, or if it would feel awkward and strange. It frustrates him that something so simple has become so complicated between you. That the distance is not as easy to cross as it was before. That even though you're closer to each other, it couldn't feel more like you were further apart.
So, instead, when he reaches his hand across the way, it is not to take yours within his own. It is to retrieve a paper bag and place it in your lap, without much of a word. He looks away before you can meet his eyes, his ears turning a bit pink at their tips.
"You looked a bit thin."
You turn to the parcel, opening it, and scoffing when you see three carefully wrapped rolls of onigiri sitting at the bottom. Shaking your head, you close the bag, the paper crumbling beneath your hands.
"Thanks for noticing."
"Shit..." Tae sighs, wincing at the sight of the bag beneath your nervous fingertips. "Look, I didn't mean it like that, I--"
"It's fine, Tae."
Catching sight of his reflection in your window, you can't help but smirk at the nervous expression on his face. You quickly hide it in the palm of your hand before he can notice.
"I just meant...are you eating enough?"
"What?" You turn to him, but he doesn't meet your gaze. He avoids it, just as he has been ever since you stepped foot in his car. This whole time, he's been unable to meet your eyes, unable to look at you straight when he speaks to you, unable and unwilling to cross the line.
It bothers you.
"I know how diets can be," He murmurs, the red at the tips of his ears, spreading down to his neck. "I don't want you to starve yourself or anything."
You smile to yourself, a bit bitterly, before turning back to the window.
You know the gesture was made out of genuine worry, and that he was trying to do something nice for you. You know it's unfair to be upset at him for caring about you, wanting to take care of you.
But after the day you've had, the impossible expectations you've found yourself put through, the months where you've had to struggle through it all on your own...it's hard to take it as anything else but criticism.
"I'm eating fine Tae, don't worry." You glance at the crumpled paper bag, contemplating whether you should still throw it out as soon as you walk into your apartment complex, like you had originally planned. "Besides, it's good that I'm losing weight. I mean, I can't very well look like this if I want to debut."
The words send painful, sharp daggers straight into Taehyung's heart. They are words that have been repeated to every idol, every trainee, ever since they signed their name on that contract. He knows them all too well, he's told them to himself, he's told them to others, he's heard them repeated back to him. That it's his duty as an idol to keep up the facade, to maintain the impossible standard, to show everyone there is no flaw behind the carefully crafted mask.
He's never found much of a problem with it before, after all, it was normal. A passing condition of the job. Just another thing he had to sacrifice if he wanted to achieve his dream. It wasn't anything different than what everyone else before him had to sacrifice.
But somehow, hearing those words repeated on your lips brings a whole new meaning to them.
"Did the company tell you that?"
Taehyung's voice is hushed, almost guttural, as though he had spoken from the back of his throat. You stare at him through the reflection in your window, a bit wary at the sight of his stone-cold expression.
"They didn't have to."
Your voice comes out smaller, more timid than you had planned it to be. Almost as though you were not ready to speak the words before they had left your lips. He clenches his jaw, his hands tightening around the steering wheel.
"Don't listen to them."
"Taehyung," You close your eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. "I don't think I have much of a choice."
"Well, I think you're perfect." Your heart jumps as soon as the words release from his tongue. You turn to him, wondering if he knows what he's saying, if he understands the turmoil his words have begun to awaken from deep within your heart. "You've always been perfect."
You shake your head, tightening your hand around the cuffs of your sleeves, hoping that will be enough to calm the rapid beating of your heart.
"Don't lie."
"I never do."
You look at him for a moment. You can see the blush growing darker at the tips of his ears, and wonder if this time he will finally raise those eyes to yours. If this time, he will find the courage to face you for the first time since you stood on that stage.
But he's too embarrassed and you're too cowardly to look at him for much longer.
So you turn away and bury your face in your sleeve once more. Hoping that perhaps it would hide the blush that rises profusely to your cheeks. Foolishly wishing that a piece of cloth would be able to somehow mask the nervous stuttering your heart does every time you find him close to you.
"If only the rest of the world agreed with you."
Taehyung smirks at the soft-spoken words, sparing a glance your way out of the corner of his eye. There's a glint in his eye, somewhat of a memory playing in the depths of his irises.
"The rest of the world is miserable. I much prefer ours."
You cannot help but laugh at the cheesy line, your sleeve doing nothing to mask the unbecoming sound. He chuckles himself, shaking his head before dropping it in his hands to mask his ever growing embarrassment.
"Hell, I'm making this all kinds of awkward huh?"
"Yes," You shrug, your eyes sparkling when you turn to him next, "But it's cute."
And if he was wondering whether or not you remembered those precious moments the two of you shared, the moments where your two worlds collided to create one you could call your own; the answer lies plain and simple on your face. He grins when he sees you smiling, your eyes reflecting the same memories, the same world he always finds himself returning to when he misses your face, your laugh, and your touch, just a little too much.
"Thanks for this." You hold up the paper sack, the crinkles unable to be smoothed down, but your grip around it notably less fierce.
He's smiling, that contagious, darling smile that always manages to melt your heart into a messy, sappy pool of love and adoration; when he nods in response. His tousled hair falls over his eyes, eyes that are warm and soft. Eyes that have always left a space for you to exist within them. As though that space has always been yours to keep.
In this moment, he is beautiful. And though he has always been beautiful in the moments when you have known him, the way he looks right now is different from every other encounter.
Maybe it is the way he looks so vulnerable, so unabashedly himself, with every wall torn down around you. Maybe it is the look in his eye, the way his world seems to have centered around you. Or maybe it is the fact that this is a side of him that not many will see, that not many have seen.
That the Taehyung before you, the kind man who brought you food simply because he was worried you hadn't eaten enough. The man who fought to be by your side, the man who remembers every precious moment spent between you and uses those memories as the foundation for the world where you exist together; is yours and only yours. That no one will ever see this side of him because it is a side to him that only exists when the two of you are together. This is the Taehyung you will remember, and keep cherished forever in your memories. It is him that will forever be remembered as the one you called "mine".
"Yen--"
And perhaps it is that fact, that unreasonable, foolish fact, that is the reason why you cannot stop the guilt from tightening deep within your stomach.
Because you have found yourself once more believing in a fantasy.
"I'm sorry."
Taehyung blinks in surprise at the sudden apology.
"For what?"
The guilt only worsens when you look at his eyes, seeing the hurt and confusion flashing across his face.
"For everything that happened."
It was his fantasy you had found yourself believing in. He invited you in, and you were so blinded by your feelings for him that you followed him willingly. And now that the consequences are catching up with the two of you, you're running away, scared.
"You mean the performance?"
You swallow hard and find that you are unable to speak. So instead, you nod meekly, hoping that the hurt hidden deep in his eyes will soon fade away.
"But why are you sorry?"
"It was my fault." The words tumble out of your mouth, quicker than you can stop them. "It was dumb and reckless and I shouldn't have done any of it. If I could take it all back I would."
You miss the way Taehyung looks at you and the subtle hints of his emotions written on the creases of his face, turning to focus on the creases of your hands instead. You know you should look at him, and show him the sincerity of your remorse, but you can't stand to see that look in his eyes for much longer.
"You would?"
"Yes."
Tae smiles a bit bitterly to himself at the quick response.
He knows it isn't fair to you.
After everything you've been through, he knows he should understand your regret about what happened that night. He knows it's his fault. That because of his recklessness, his selfishness, you've been put through unmeasurable amounts of slander and have had to face the most vile forms of hatred and loathing imaginable. He knows what that does to a person, he knows how it affects a person, how it frightens them beyond reason, beyond belief.
He's aware of it all.
But he can't help the way it breaks his heart to hear you say you would change all of it without a single thought. Because even with all the chaos his actions have caused, even with all the regret that may surround it, that night was still a night that he holds preciously in his memory.
"I wouldn't."
"W-what?" You balk, turning to him in surprise. He smiles at you, his eyes distant and sad.
"I don't regret any of it."
That night was as beautiful as it was damning. He was able to hold you, look into your eyes and see a galaxy of wonder unfold. In that one particular moment, it didn't seem to matter if he pulled you closer or if his skin was on fire by every small touch made between the two of you, because it was only the two of you dancing together amongst the stars.
For one beautiful second, the space that had always been between you had been broken. Your worlds had collided and everything was perfect.
But then that moment ended.
"You don't mean that."
You shake your head, turning away.
You know it is foolish to hang on to that night, no matter how beautiful. It doesn't change anything that happened and doesn't make any of it better. You may have been close for a minute, the space between you finally fading away, but what's the worth of holding on to a moment when it isn't reality? When it has and always will be doomed from the start?
You can't afford to believe in a fantasy.
Swallowing hard, you place your hand on the door handle, but his hand wraps around yours before you have a chance to open it.
"And what if I did?" You turn to him, but he's not looking at you. He stares at your hand, his thumb stroking your skin in small repetitive circles. It sends shivers down your spine, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest. "What if I said, if I could go back I wouldn't change any of it? That the only thing I regret was being kept from you for all those months? That if I could go back, I would've stayed by your side, just as I had promised."
The way he looks up at you sends your heart flying, your hand slipping off the door handle to rest on his chest, in an attempt to stop him, as he leans in closer. You can feel his heart beating wildly underneath your fingertips, his breath growing shallow and hot against your cheeks. You look up at him, trying to ignore the way his hand tightens around yours as he pulls you closer to him.
"Tae, stop," you murmur breathlessly, "You're being careless."
"So?" His other hand closes around the one that you keep on his chest, and you watch helplessly as he brings it to his lips and kisses your knuckles tenderly. You shiver when he speaks next, his lips brushing against your skin with every word. "Honestly, Yen, where has being careful ever gotten me?"
You shake your head, avoiding his earnest expression.
"I...I can't--"
"What?" he murmurs, pressing his forehead to yours, rendering you speechless. "What can't you do?"
"Love you."
Your words are small and quiet, almost as if you were scared to let them leave the confines of your lips. You look hopelessly into his eyes, so dark and wearing every wretched emotion on his sleeve. Begging, almost pleading with you to stay.
"But do you?"
To hold onto him just as tightly as he's holding on to you.
"Tae..." You cannot help but sigh, pathetically tearing your eyes away from his tragic gaze, unable to witness the pain you are causing him by pushing him away.
Unable to accept the pain that awakens anew within your bleeding heart.
"Do you love me?"
You know he loves you.
You can hear it on the tendrils of his voice as he speaks, see it in the desperation that clouds his eyes, feel it in the way his hands hold tight to yours, always and forever pulling you closer if only to close the distance so evidently wide between you.
But do you love him?
"You know I can’t answer that."
"Yen."
"I can't."
You know you did before, you know that was the reason you defied every manner of sense screaming at you to distance yourself from him as much as you possibly could. You know that carnal, forbidden desire, is what led to the mess you are now in. You know that the reason you couldn't stand the distance between the two of you now was because of those feelings you have carried with you from months ago.
But, is it possible to continue to fight for something so senseless, so reckless, that you would risk destroying yourself in the process? Is it truly worth it if it means the both of you would end up more hurt on the other side?
"It's not like how it was before, you know that. I can't answer your questions, I can't give you what you want."
"And what is it that I want, Yen?" He leans forward, releasing your hand and taking your chin between his fingers; angling your face up so that you're looking deep into his eyes. Your lips a mere few inches apart, so close that you find yourselves sharing the same breath. "What is it you want?"
"It doesn't matter what I want." You whisper breathlessly, your words hitching with melancholy. His eyes widen with a mixture of surprise and anguish at them, a look that you didn't expect to see.
"Don't say that." He pulls away, just the tiniest bit, but it may as well have been a chasm in comparison to how close the two of you were before. He shakes his head, distress clear and written all over his face as he looks at you in earnest. "Don't ever say that."
"Tae..." You reach towards him, hoping to calm him, but he's not listening.
"What you feel, what you want, what you need, it all matters Yen. You're human, don't ever let them take that away from you. They can take the world, they can take me, they can take your freedom, but don't ever let them destroy your humanity. Don't ever let them turn you into a mere doll.”
He pulls away another inch, and you cling to the hand that is still wrapped in yours, hoping that will keep him from pulling away.
From widening the chasm.
“You're worth much more than that."
He doesn't look at you, his hair brushing against his long lashes as he tries to turn away, but you place your hand on his cheek before he can. Gently, you coerce him to turn back to you, to meet your eyes once more. You interlock your fingers with his hand and pull him closer and closer until he is back to where he was before, where he has always belonged, mere inches away from you. You search his eyes, hoping that he sees your vulnerability the same way you see his, and wait.
"Yen..."
It is then, and only then, when he speaks your name, whispered gutturally on the tip of his tongue, that you close the distance between the two of you and press your lips tenderly against his.
The kiss is chaste and sweet. It tastes of mint toothpaste and citrus. The smell of him fills your nostrils as you breathe him in, your hand curling around the back of his neck and tugging fondly at the curls that lay there. And when he deepens the kiss, his hand securing itself on the small of your back and pulling you closer, it comes alive on your tongue. The aroma consumes your senses until you find yourself hooked on a high that is full of him.
When you pull away, you do not go far. Your lips remain on his, though they may only be brushing against each other, as your breath mixes together and turns your cheeks hot.
"You know what I want, Tae." You whisper on his lips, earning a breathless sigh from him in response. "I just can't say it out loud. That's not a luxury I have."
This time, when you pull away, the space between the two of you doesn't seem as wide as it was before. The silence is not as suffocating, and when you meet his eyes, all sadness and desperation seem to have been chased away. You chuckle at the goofy smile on his face and blow him a kiss before you exit the car, the bag of onigiri held tightly in your hand.
You don't make it far before Taehyung rolls down the window and calls after you, however. You turn to him with a bewildered expression and open your mouth to scold him for his unabashed disregard of discretion, but he speaks before you can.
"I was serious about what I said, you know." He grins, and you can't help the fond smile that grows on your face at the sight. "I'll wait for you until you're ready. I don't care how long it takes."
And as you watch him roll up the window and eventually drive away, you know what he said was the truth. You know deep inside that he would give anything to be by your side always, even if it meant his downfall.
That's how deep his love runs for you.
What you don't know, however, is why the thought makes you so sad.
hello, members of kpop/enhypen community! my name is tori and I am the owner of the jjk-centered blog @kenntoria. please read this if you care about content theft and plagiarism!!
after thinking long and hard about this(not that long, okay) i have decided that bringing attention to this situation was the right thing to do. now, let me start by saying that i mention in my pinned post that my works are not to be plagiarized, but I guess it wasn’t clear enough which brings us all here:
not even a week ago, on july 23, i received an ask from anon asking if i own a certain blog since there is a fic very similar to mine and anon also linked the post. same anon then sent another ask with another link to a different post of the same writer. the blog is named @okwonyo !
i’ll link the fics here(had to unblock the author to do that): “confession” and “dreamer”.
and the works that they were “inspired by” are: “flirting” and “shaving nanami”.
now, the posts were uploaded on july 21 and jul 10, notably later than my works, and if it weren’t for anon i wouldn’t even have known about anything, because i don’t lurk around the enhypen tag. if you want to, you can read works and connect the dots, but i am gonna present the similarities and explain why i, and many others, think it’s blatant plagiarism rather than inspiration(red is marking her work and blue is marking mine), you can read the whole thing too if you’d like ofc, i highlighted everything that would guide to see the problem, but please read everything.
this is from “dreamer” and “shaving nanami” fics. you can see that there is similar pacing, and some of the sentences are structured the same way, using the same words, minimal changes applied. and yeah, you can say that the writer added the “dreaming about marrying you” thing to her work but it doesn’t change the fact that this whole thing was basically ripped off. then, let’s get to the “confession” fic that has like a sequence of sentences taken from my fic, despite the plot being a little different in her fic, but the whole “not noticing the flirting thing” was taken from me. i wouldn’t really call that inspiration if you just take the sentences and literally put them in your fic. would you? :)
(mind you, this is my first time dealing with things like this, which is not an excuse, bur rather an explanation as to why i handled this situation poorly at first.)
now, with these out of the way, let’s discuss what i talked about with the owner of the @/okwonyo, or “jiah”. i sent an ask since i didn’t follow her and couldn’t message her, and we had a civil conversation about these works. i’m sorry i don’t have screenshots but it’s because the chat is no longer available to me(she blocked me from her sideblog which she used for chat with me @okwonyos).
she did apologise and offered to link the fics(or even take them down!) but i, admittedly, was a bit distracted with in real life issues and dismissed by saying that she could just tag me, which of course was my fault. when i said that i thought she would say “inspired by bla bla bla” but she just literally tagged me in the end of posts(mind you, there were 4 posts and she tagged me only in these 2 hah) and when i noticed and decided to ask her to take the posts down like she offered in the beginning because it would just be easier and would make me comfortable enough. she insisted that she likes those works a lot and me, being the pushover i am, relented and thought “well alright at least her readers will stay happy” and allowed her to link my stuff in her post, although she again mentioned me only at the end when i asked her to do it in the beginning of the post. i didn’t really care that her notes were in the end, not really.
come to find our, there were another 2 fics, that i didn’t know about until she mentioned me.
oblivious and promises, which are “inspired” again by my fics: oblivious reader and beauty marks.
was she gonna mention these if i hadn’t texted her again a while later about her poor credit giving style? i don’t think so, buddy. anyways, i read the fics briefly and was baffled by the similarities i saw. granted, i will mention that the “oblivious” fic by her resembles an “inspiration” a lot more than other fics since there are added elements like the characters being childhood friends and confession scene and all that — but still, there is whole beginning of the fic that she basically reworded from mine(was it necessary to even use the message with emoji thing…):
for the “promises” fic… bruh, the pacing, the whole dialogue, the similarities, literally whatever happens between the reader and that male character is taken from my fic and reworded and posted as original before i dm’ed the author. which pisses me off, because if she had mentioned me from the beginning and if i considered and plagiarism it just would have been a lot more telling about this author’s intentions — they wouldn’t have been able to act nonchalantly, you know what i mean?
now, eventually, i sent the author some texts about how just taking paragraphs and changing them a little doesn’t look much like an inspiration and asked to take the posts down(if i remember correctly) and she went defence mode and me? i was too tired with my irl issues to attempt anything more after a string of messages pointing out that she didn’t “copy and paste” and she added her own details and plots to the fic. so i went with something like okay whatever i hope you learn from your mistake and bye and she happily replied “feel free to block me” which irked me.
it irked me to the point that after blocking her i didn’t feel relief or like a “winner” but more like i played right into her hand, which should have been the signs that this was not the right way to end things.
now, jiah, did you think it was over? i did think i’d just be mulling over this for a while and hoping other people don’t steal my stuff, but see it’s not me who noticed it, i was unaware — it was other people, several people, who noticed you just taking writing as your own and ignoring being “inspired” by me until you were reminded that yes, you did it wrong. and you have to understand what you did was wrong and accept it.
and you had to be the one to address it to your readers because me, i did address it and i asked my readers and followers to not even say anything to you and not go into your inbox — but something tells me you would have just ignored them and turned off anon asks.
you may ask: tori, why are you posting this almost a week later? well, i’m not gonna lie i have been thinking about this whole situation a lot and how i didn’t do it right and didn’t feel satisfied. and thanks to my beautiful readers and anons who felt injustice and confirmed my thoughts i have been finally pushed to act on this.
look, i have nothing to gain from this… i don’t need like the undying love of enhypen fans or to turn anyone against her, but jiah, gotta respect me, no? do i really need your credits after you posted your post like 10 days ago and was going to act like nothing happened until confronted? i really don’t lol, i just want to have peace and i want every anon and every person who sent me an ask about it and showed me immense support to be relieved that kpop community knows what’s going on.
and i’m bringing awareness to this because i am sure that plagiarism here is really common and i have been lucky to be struck by it only for the first time.
now, do what you will with all of this info.
thank you for reading this and have a good rest of your day!!
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“The most notorious gang leader in Victorian London can gouge out the eyes of men, steal from the corrupted rich, and terrify an entire city, but cannot figure out a few complicated feelings with you.”
s u m m a r y >> the leader of the sons of seoul, the wanted criminal mastermind, christopher bang, has the courage to commit any deed save for confronting you, his most trusted accomplice, about his feelings. however, when opportunity arises, in the shape of an invitation to a grand seasonal ball, to take down his fated enemy, he takes you to the heart of a lavish estate, both of you unaware of actions that occur inside, and after the mission.
w a r n i n g s >> gonna be using chris instead of chan cause it’s set in 1860s london, chan is a dom of course, jisung and changbin are dumb and dumber, are also massive cockblockers, some cliché scenes cause i’m a sucker for them, sexual! tension!, gore, foul language, making out, dirty talk, aggressiveness, semi-public fingering, unprotected sex (stay safe homies!!), oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasms, chan has a thing for being called his korean name, whack spelling for ‘cum’ as ‘come’ cause technically that word didn’t exist in 1860s, there is a plot so there will be build up
a / n > > so i went way over the 10k originally planned lmfaoooo but i hope y’all enjoy this oneshot! i worked my ass off on it and hopefully y’all can appreciate gang leader chan in 1860s london cause honestly i’m a 100% whore for that concept
back to masterlist
IT WAS A UNIVERSAL LAW THAT ONE MUST NEVER FUCK WITH CHRISTOPHER BANG. EVER.
Whatever charge you may have against him, it must be withdrawn. Whatever he had done to you — robbed you, murdered your son, destroyed your entire existence — it did not matter. There were always limits, and trying to challenge this specific criminal would only result in your undoing.
It seemed the target, cornered before you and the very man himself, did not fully understand this order.
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