welcome aboard the hot mess express

Mood

Chaotic Neutrals do things just to raise some hell not for evil or for good but just because.

so tonight im working super late at an adults-only event at the zoo where it’s basically endless beer and wine tasting and then wandering around the zoo at night. Keepers mainly sit around then we just take turns going up for a circuit through our areas and let me tell you as the night has gone on things have gotten more entertaining. So far I have seen: -A group of drunk girls legit crying in front of the puffin exhibit because they’re Too Cute -A dude pointed at a vacant eyed, open mouthed, coldwater fish and, completely deadpan, turned to his friend and went “it’s you” -overheard a very serious debate on whether or not sea turtles sleep (”Ted you fucking moron everything fuckin sleeps jesus christ” -A girl stroking her hand back and forth on the glass in front of a chillin Amazon cichlid (idk what part ok freshwater exhibits aint my thing) cooing “It’s just so pretty I want to be it’s friend” -A man enthusiastically singing a ballad in front of the aquarium with some grand drunk improv like one standout line was “What we doin at the zoOOOoooOOooo? We drinkin a breeEWWWwwwwwwwww!”

-a very harried voice on the radio sighing “we need more captain morgan and vodka at concessions” -five calls for medics -three calls for broken glass -A girl standing on her own in the middle of the shark reef tunnel, staring straight up with an open mouth and arms limp at her sides, oblivious to all the people around her - “Ahaha. holy shit look at all of it’s legs” said in front of the octopus exhibit -overheard a loud furious “DID YOU JUST FUCKING AS ME IF THE PENGUINS ARE FAKE?!”  -This exchange on the radio “Hi concessions to event management? What do we do with the used napkins?” Long pause, then a disgusted “You throw them away. Because they’re garbage.” (honestly prayer circle for concessions) - “holy shit it’s nemo what up dude” (I hear a million variations of “i found nemo!” but this is my favorite so far ok)

im her

anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms

someone pick me up at 3AM and have night adventures with me 

Also this is a link to the template I used to write this email, and I’ve seen another similar template going around, and this was extremely helpful.

just a reminder that this is an option for you folks! i did it and all my teachers replied within a few hours saying that it was okay. you can do this! school does not have to be painful.

Reblogging because everyone should see this.  C:

Slide your hands down my stomach and to my thighs and watch my breathing pattern change

remember how malia obama never tweeted incriminating emails of herself colluding with foreign powers. i miss that.

No she just smoked weed while being guarded by federal agents. But please. Keep acting like either side has a right to the moral high ground.

You’re really fucking stupid if you think a teenager smoking weed is comparable to a grown adult colluding with foreign powers to shift the election.

I’M SCREAMING, THIS PERSON REALLY THOUGHT SMOKING WEED AND TREASON ARE ON PAR!

Why is it referred to as coming out of the closet? 

It could be coming out of anything. What wasted potential.

Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just guys

my goal in life is to be my own sugar daddy