Short Pants, Romance

babygirl i can be your little creepy crawly

desire is the root of all yayyy desire is so fun i love to desire

thank you black mold. thats a wonderful idea black mold.

lying across the autopsy table all by yourself, gorgeous?

going back in time to 1st january 1984 in calcata italy aka one of the very few if not the only time in history you could use the phrase "due to unforeskin circumstances" to full effect

hey bad news. ur boyfriend. yeah he turned around. yeah man sorry his love for you ultimately became his downfall. yeah sorry u gotta go back to the underworld :/

honey, I was thinking that we could spice things up in the bedroom by turning the heat off and pretending to be gold prospectors in the Yukon during winter who have to have sex to avoid freezing to death. how does that sound, babe?

oh so temperature play is fun when it’s hot wax but god forbid I try to save us some money

You wish you were a lot of things! Move on or die! *looking in the mirror*

life row inmate eating his first meal

the Buddha used to say this about any baby he saw and people hated it

they should make five nights at snoopys where nothing bad happens and you spend a week with your friend snoopy

Stabbing a pencil all the way through her pink eraser for the first time has awoken the dark heart of local second grader