silence from billy hargrove is never, ever a good thing.
steve is scared shitless the first time it happens. they're in his car, radio turned up too loud, and billy is throwing a fit about changing the station while steve makes a huge show of raising the volume of his voice as he's singing along to make it big's "wake me up before you go-go". the atmosphere is light and fun despite billy's protests. they're in that awkward stage of not-quite-enemies-but-something-more-than-friends. touches and gazes linger longer than than deemed socially acceptable, their jabs more flirtatious than truly mean. steve likes billy, and billy keeps nothing a secret when it comes to his own crush — it's written all over his playground bullying, in the way he tugs steve's hair or blows a puff of breath into his ear.
so it really shouldn't be a big deal when steve reaches over the center console and rests a hand against billy's thigh.
but apparently it is because billy shuts up instantaneously. his jaw snaps with an audible click and the muscles beneath steve's hand tighten. and that's — terrifying. to the point where the rational part of his brain shuts off, and all he can think about is the fact that he's about to be punched right now.
instead, steve turns his head just slightly to see that billy has gone ramrod still, gaze fixated out the windshield. the way his nostrils flare and the gleam in his eye is reminiscent of a caged, frightened animal. steve swallows, turns his head back, and hesitantly asks, "is this... okay?"
but he doesn't receive an answer.
again, his head turns. and, again, he's asking, "billy? is this okay...?" in a voice so small and soft that he doesn't think it's heard over the radio.
but slowly, surely, billy's body begins to unravel. and then he's nodding. still not quite relaxed, but nodding nonetheless.
steve turns down the radio and they drive the rest of the way to the quarry on near silence.
it happens again a few months later, when billy has steve pinned down against the couch, mouths moving together as feverishly as their hips. it's dirty, it's messy, but it always is between the two of them. billy's working a dark bruise into steve's throat in-between murmured filth, and steve — stupidly brainless with pleasure and need — doesn't even think as he brings a hand up to billy's hair. but he doesn't tug. as much as he wants to keep up with the nasty pace they've got going on, he cant bring himself to pull on the soft, productless strands.
instead he – runs his fingers through them. scratches along billy's scalp. releases a soft noise of his own — that quickly turns into confusion. because billy is still again, like he's been electrocuted. like he doesn't like it. and steve freezes himself.
what? what did he do wrong?
"s... sorry? was that too much?"
billy doesn't move for a long time. steve goes to remove his hand, apology on his lips, but the softest noise of protest reaches his ear. and then slowly, slowlyslowlyslowly, billy is unlocking on top of him. he practically goes bonless, all of his weight crushing the breath from steve's lungs.
he's still quiet, though.
steve returns the gentle touch, nails scratching against billy's scalp in a way that must feel heavenly because his hips rock down in a slow, dirty grind that's completely unlike the frantic pace of earlier.
billy jerks his head. steve can't tell if it's a yes or a no. he tightens his grip, using it as leverage to pull billy's face back from where it's still buried in his neck.
and the eyes that stare down at him are glassy with tears. steve is terrified that he's hurt him — until billy's swollen lips part around a quiet groan that goes straight to steve's leaking dick. he's never, ever made a sound like that before.
"hey... talk to me. use your words. is this okay?"
"y...eah... " said slow and stupid. billy rocks down against him again, and steve answers it with a roll of his own that makes billy's lashes flutter. the hands in his hair start at the back of his neck and scratch all the way up. billy shudders, the cords of his throat going tight, and he s o b s. an honest to god sob, like this is the best thing he's felt in ages.
steve is so stupidly in love.
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