♒☼Mama-Turtle☼♒

Anyone else have experience with an episiotomy healing opened, or with scarring tearing apart after it was thought to be healing properly? I just discovered that somehow mine healed completely apart. I had the regular checkups to monitor healing up to six weeks after, but somehow after that my scar must have split open or the doctor just didn't think that it healing apart like that was a problem. Except now it's a huge problem. It is still uncomfortable and painful. There is huge raised scarring on either side of the split that goes almost to my bum. Sex is PAINFUL. After sex is painful. I want to enjoy sex with my husband but it's so sore and intense for me during and afterwards. My husband is so caring and understanding and puts no pressure on me but I still feel like I am causing tensions and strains because of it. I feel strained personally. What can I do? I know there is reconstructive surgery but is that covered by OHiP? (In Canada) I have been reading some accounts where doctors have determined that reconstructive surgery isn't necessary even though sex and other things are painful. I've also heard of further complications called fistulas and that is also equally as terrifying. (Don't look at pictures of fistulas on a weak stomach) I have a doctors appointment in two weeks to talk to them about it but I'd like to be as informed as possible about the situation so anyone experiencing this also and is comfortable with sharing, pleeeeeeeeease tell me any advice or your personally stories. I am in tears over this constantly. I want to be sexually active again in a healthy and safe way with my husband without the constant pain and the emotional repercussions too. I feel like it's really messing up that part of my relationship. I nee that part of my life back. My sexuality is important to me, you know?

So I went to a sweet 16 birthday party tonight and there was a photo booth with these photo props made and one of them was a dunce cap that you can hold up but the person who made it wrote dunts instead of dunce and I can't even. I just can't.