Topdam

i hope donkey kong walks into my house and smashes a barrel over my head killing me instantly 

I wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on

funny how hot dogs come in packs of six but hot dog buns come in packs of twelve and also the united states has more blood on its hands than any other country in the world just by refusing asylum to refugees 

ever notice how you park in a driveway but drive on a parkway and also the british nation remains proud of its legacy as the world’s most murderous empire in all of recorded history and refuses to acknowledge its massacres

isn’t it pretty interesting how a ship carries cargo but a car carries shipments! it’s also funny how the western nations will teach in history class all about how the west brutally exploited Africa and the Middle East but continue to invade those same regions in the modern age “for their own good”, which is the same thing they said during the colonial era

me

Kanye West seems like the type of person that would sing a lullaby to his daughter and get mad when she falls asleep during his performance.

Adulthood is 50% “I’m too young for this to be happening” and 50% “I’m too old for this shit”.

*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*

replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less