their laughters,

their subtle smiles,

their “i know” direct gaze,

their attention that doesn’t rip you off,

but instead calms you down,

its beautiful how people can become

your reason to smile,

and to help you believe that you are not half bad,

like if i dont touch you i will die,

trust me i am trying to stay away from you,

but i think my heart is stubborn enough to believe,

if they have eyes of an executioner or a lover,

you let them walk towards you,

you let them take you,

because it has been a long time since you have been touched with passion,

human touch is a poison,

and so i turned numb,

but somehow the only constant of mine

is the horror of loving you,

it travelled to the other side

and now all i have left in me is you,

like the flame loves the moth,

like the thunder loves the ground,

one part at a time,

it engulfs me whole waiting

i have never wanted anything in my life,

but one thing only,

and through all things lost we will find the ravager to build,

through yesterday’s tears we will survive and build

for today’s hope,

i see there’s no moon here,

just like you wanted,

but you see the plain old sky paints a picture

that i cant take my mind off of,

but you see i cant turn my switch off every time i see you,

maybe you never looked at me like i look in the mirror after the shower,

maybe you never saw me without my armour,

but you see i did,

and i fell,

and just like the moonless sky i wanted to be yours too,

i watch movies that others find weird,

i shout the loudest out of the guys,

and i like walking in the night,

and no i love being a girl, i never want to be a guy,

but there’s so much more to me than being just a girl,

i am more than my gender,

once you love,

your heart is filled with the desire to love again,

and no matter what,

of how once i dreamt of everything i wanted,

and now that i actually have everything i have lost

me in the process,

seeking for yourself is hard,

no matter how hard you try at times all you could do

is yearn,

and maybe when wake up one night,

but oh the magic in having life in your love,

to have it breathing and alive,

it was easy when i could rest my head

on a shoulder that i knew i could rely upon,

life was easy when i knew you were around,

life is still easy to know the world is your home,

maybe now i can’t rest my head on your shoulder,

but i know now at least someone has a friend in you,

but i know now at least the world is not absent

of you beauty,

but i know now at least the moon can watch over your head,

but i know now at least you are happy and smiling

with everything changing,

i could see how the trees have leaves now,

i could see how the kid that lives in the front house

is all grown up now,

i could see the days are longer,

and the nights are shorter,

time has played its filthy little run,

and somehow still i think of how it was to hold your hand,

how it was you who made me laugh,

how you understood my silence,

people told me time will heal,

but they lied,

a myth that we believed in to survive,

but when i held your hand i could finally see

the truth,

the purity in happiness,

and when you left i could see how happiness when

not your own, it truly is a myth,

i never believed in happiness before,

but once tasted this beauty,

i no longer want to be away from it even for a second,

and so i made a window of happiness just for me,