Soleil/Sinclair

16

ADHD

Quiet panting came from him as he rubbed the sweat off his forehead with a wrist. Jack closed his eyes and tilted his head down while catching his breath. He heard the similar noises of wheezing and heavy breathing behind him. “Ja.. Jack,” a boy muttered as he stood by the older boy, hands rested on his knees. “The sow is gone. Can we.. Can we get a break now?” He asked, leaning closer to the other. Jack glowered at the boy, but looked in the direction of what they were chasing. The pig was gone. He stayed quiet for a moment. “Well..” He grumbled, looking back to the rest of his hunters.

Some rested against the trees, while others laid on the ground without a care. They had been chasing a sow that had much more stamina than themselves as a group. Jack’s heart was pumping in his chest. Both the adrenaline and his excitement mixed together to cause his racing heart. “It’s not too far out, right?” Another boy asked with a wheeze, his head rested against the tree. “You’re not like Jack.” Muttered one of the boys, “he has muscles. You don’t.” Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise; he hadn’t thought he gained muscle. He looked back down at himself; his stomach was toned, his legs thickened with strength, and his arms and shoulders felt to have gained a plumpness that fat did not bring. It didn’t feel like skin wrapped around a skimpy bone anymore, like when he had arrived on the island. A large grin spread across his face as he turned away. A hand lifted up to feel along his bicep, which it had enlarged. With his ego inflated and his confidence bursting, he looked up and declared “fine, we may go back now.”

The hunters quietly nodded as they shuffled to a stand. Jack let out one last huff with a thinly veiled smirk on his face. He stood tall with his chest puffed out before he began to lead his hunters back to the shelters. The group of figures disappeared into the dark foliage without a trace.

(timeskip to a bit later lol)

Jack leaned over the puddle, settling onto his knees while staring at his reflection with wide eyes. He really had gained muscles. Jack’s mouth formed an “O” as he ran a finger over his arm. His finger slid up his arm before settling on his bicep again. Jack cautiously poked at it, eyes wide with excitement as he came to the realization; he truly did gain muscle. His muscle went stiff as he flexed his arm into the reflection. Jack slid his finger over the tight skin that clung to the muscle. He soon felt a taste of some kind of metal. Jack blinked, then realized he had closed his mouth without realizing. Not only that, but was biting hard into the inner flesh of his bottom lip too. He flushed slightly but could not stop himself from biting harder. The thrill of the muscle gain was too much for him to completely handle. It gave him too much energy. It overwhelmed his body to the point he didn’t have full control over it.

Jack couldn’t help his grin from spreading wide across his face. His sharp snaggletooth dug deeper into his lip, he winced slightly and gave a hint of a grimace. The displeasure was overturned quickly as he focused back in on his freshly discovered achievement. Jack’s curiosity brought him to keep prodding and feeling with a glittery look.

He rocked slightly as he looked to his chest. It no longer held the swell of a feminine fate; instead now melding with the formation of fortuitous manhood. Hands crawled over with the pokes and grabs, having elatement mixed in with his grasp. Jack flushed, glancing around as he realized he looked to be groping his own self. He softly sighed as he saw no one to be near, just himself. Only the squeaks and chirps of the forest responded to his gaze. Jack looked back down at his reflection, and it looked back with the same face he always knew. He shifted his hips and glanced down at them. They were still wide unlike the other boys, but it didn’t stand out as it did before. Jack nibbled more; tearing more of the thin guard of his lip. He looked a little lower from his hips and flushed, uncomfortably shifting and shuffling where he sat.

Jack’s eyes drew back upwards toward his chest once more, he was truly gleeful in his lack of a feminine chest. He previously feared his more “womanly” attributes would be shown as the days on the island continued. Jack was anxious of further development in his chest due to hormones and puberty— which he learned of not too long ago from parents, but what he knew was rather limited. He blinked away the nervous thoughts that flooded his mind as he looked at the reflection. Jack suddenly grinned widely at his mirrored self, before suddenly scooping some clay into his palms. The clay was a pale color; a creamy white. He suddenly smeared it on his chest with a slight flush and glance around. Jack kept going until his entire torso was covered in the thick paint. He spread the rest over his arms and his neck. Jack didn’t focus on his hands; the clay would always smudge on different colors or wash away as he customized himself. He dipped his hands back in and pulled up red clay. Jack watched the reflection as he began to trace under his chest with the maroon material. He left thick red lines underneath each breast before adding sharp jagged lines that faced outward. Three of the thick lines were made, one faced outward, the middle was straight, while the third was pointed inward to his belly button. Jack repeated this on his other side as he concentrated carefully. His eyes were wide and dilated; the dopamine rush made him keep up with more unique patterns on the rest of his body, but left the 6 sharp lines alone, as he was being careful to not touch them.

Jack was less focused on the other patterns as he messily traced on his skin. The other patterns were a bit scribbly and uneven, but it didn’t bother him any in his pursuit. He moved his hand quickly across his body. Jack sat there for a while just staring off into his reflection with big eyes. His body was decorated in patterns; lines and spots dashed all round his form with some designs taking more unique turns. Springs of energy ran through him as his face warmed up. Jack noticed this was not a bad kind of blush of embarrassment or humiliation that he was used to, but rather of excitement. He let out a shuddering breath while he blinked a few times at the unfamiliarity of it. Jack shuddered along with it as he adjusted and acclimated more to the foreign feeling. A large smile ran across his face, stretching his lips wide as he couldn’t help himself. His hips shifted subtly side to side, slipping past his realization with his continued infatuation with his appearance.

Jack stretched out his arms in front of himself and wiggled his fingers. His delight had given him a strong dose of joy with a side of energy. Jack hopped up onto two feet, looking back at his reflection. He smiled gleefully before pacing around in a short circle. Then suddenly running off to a collection of spears that laid close under a palm tree; he grabbed the one with the little barbs carved into it and took his knife from the sheath. Jack brought the sharp knife to the tip of the spear. He began moving it back and forth in order to shave off some wood to make it sharper. Jack’s eyes never left the spear while he put the knife back in the sheath, nicking his finger a slight. The small cut went ignored by the redhead. Jack glanced around quickly with a huff of excitement as he brought the spear close to his chest. His pupils were blown wide. Then, in a sudden burst of energy, he excitedly sprung forward off into the looming jungle. The deep forest swallowed up his body and mixed him with the rest of nature.

Baby blue eyes darted and examined the figures in front of him. The eyes watched with seething envy while pushing afar to no return. The jealous nature of the observing seeped and soaked into his bones. The figures were three boys, all fit and in perfect shape for hunting, to Jack’s standards. He glowered at the boys as he curled his knees up to his chest. Jack tilted his head down to look at his own body. He didn't have the muscles like they did or the voice or the face or the– Jack felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t feel normal nor did he look normal, like a boy. His lip trembled in resentment; tears threatened to erupt and bring ruin as he forced his forehead to his knees with more than the intended force. Jack couldn’t stand it, the way they pranced around and showed off to their other friends about growing some hair above their lip. A crunch came from his hand and quickly looked down; it was a small twig. It reminded Jack of himself: pathetic and thin. He let out a loud, dramatic growl before quickly tossing the now two twigs to the side. Jack didn’t care to look where they went. His envious eyes then turned the lagoon, recognizing a familiar face; Ralph. Jack flushed, squirming uncomfortably where he sat. Ralph was the worst of the bunch. He was tall and built like a boxer. Oh how Jack wanted to be like him.. Strong, responsible, and attractive; but Jack was stuck being lanky, scraggly, and ugly.

His face scrunched up into a scowl. Jack couldn’t understand how others could be born so lucky while he was stuck with this. He growled a cuss under his breath, looking back down with his forehead pressed against his knees. Jack’s hand twitched with fury, he truly hated this. His mind raced to find flaws in Ralph’s physical state, but his thoughts came to a still, he had come with nothing. Jack failed to find anything wrong with Ralph. If he found something, Jack would just realize he himself had a worse version of it. Ralph had crooked teeth, but Jack’s teeth were both crooked and a disgusting yellow. Ralph had no snaggleteeth like him, nor any more yellowed than him. Jack flushed, huffing and puffing as he scrambled to find something he were better at than Ralph.

Hunting.

His mind finally clicked together. Jack were better at hunting than Ralph. He grinned cruelly in satisfaction as he looked back up to the other boy. Only a small, lone tear went down as his dysphoria imploded on itself. Jack hopped to his feet quickly with a wobble; he scrambled into the forest with one last glare to spare Ralph. Jack crushed twigs and shoved past bushes in his rush. He snarled wildly like a boar as he ran, his salted attitude began to melt away as it was scrapped away by the foliage.

Jack ran through leafage with his arms outstretched, grabbing at branches and ripping them off trees. He took his pent up emotions on the plants that were unfortunately in his way. Small, sneaky tears that he had thought to be gone, rolled down his face. Jack grumbled as he wiped them away but with no help that brung. He flushed in embarrassment– why were he crying? Normal men don’t do that; he frowned with a trembling of his lip, until he noticed a recognizable bush in the distance.

Jack slowed to a stop when a big bundle of creepers laid in his wake. He grinned as he crouched down to a small opening in the creepers, only a littlun– or Simon– could crawl through easily. Jack looked into it, quietly readying himself to go through. He crawled closer with the top of his head pressed against it. Jack started to push through the plants headfirst. He hissed quietly as the thorns scratched his skin, leaving cuts on his face and leaves in his hair. Jack managed to reopen old cut wounds from similar situations, a choked whimper escaping him in the process. He squirmed and worked his way through the thicket carefully. Jack tried his best to avoid getting scratched up more. His head peaked through as he struggled. The creepers held a secret fort within its vines.

Items were strewn across the grass; ranging from animal bones to sweet fruits. He grinned in relief; barely thinking about how he’ll get out. Jack pulled his arm free, releasing it from the grip of the creepers, and dug his fingers into the grass. His arm began to pull the weight of his body into the hideout. It was much easier than the wiggling. Jack managed to free his other arm and dragged his body further in until his body no longer had vines clinging to him. He sighed with relief, laying on his stomach for a couple seconds to recover from the exertion. Jack closed his eyes as his face rested against the ground. He panted slightly from the exertion. Jack waited until his breath calmed and his mind was able to focus. He opened his eyes and wiggled his way further in. Jack growled as he twisted his body before getting in the position he wanted. He sat up and stretched with the little room he had, he hissed as the scratches on his waist and ribs flared up in agitation. Jack glared at the scratches before pouting when he remembered what he looked like. His eyebrows furrowed before quickly looking to the floor where all his collected things laid.

Seashells glistened in the light that slipped through the thick vines; the colors danced together in harmony as the animal shadows flickered above. Freshly fallen and picked fruits laid in a small pile together, the rot having not gotten to them yet. A small dark green bush hid in the creepers with the sweet fruits hanging off of its small branches. The pale fruits stood obvious and noticeable to any visitor; from small animals to biguns. Eyes glanced to the curious animal bones and the spears laid near each other. Wood shavings were sprinkled besides the sharpened sticks. This had been where Jack made attempts to make better and more improved spears; most failed. Jack pursed his lips before slipping into a frown. He crawled over to the pile, wincing from the fresh cuts gliding against the grass. Jack muttered something unintelligible under his breath as he leaned in. A hefty sigh escaped him before he could process it. He picked up his hand before skimming his fingers over one of his prototypes. “Imperfect..” Jack growled, his finger stopping and slightly digging into the bark before harshly pulling away.

He ran his eyes over the bones and wondered why he had kept them. Was it underlying curiosity? Or the need to come off as ‘cool’ to anyone that came across this hideout? Jack fidgeted with his pant sleeve, rubbing the bark from under his nail onto his shorts. He sighed as he thought back to the other boys; his eyesight grew suddenly fuzzy, and his eyelids couldn’t handle the weight of his tears. A little droplet ran down his cheek before more followed after in a stampede. Jack didn’t understand. Why were this happening to him? This wasn’t normal.. Not at all! His hands raised to his face to wipe away the tears, but they failed to keep up. Jack growled angrily as his emotions confused and overwhelmed him. A high pitch whine escaped him before he could process it. He paused, did he really make that noise? It didn’t sound like him. By no means that could’ve been him. Jack hiccuped quietly as he reached a calm. He felt the air become less thick and the hideout less suffocating. A sense of disgust rested in his gut, settling but not going away.

Jack forced his hands to his face as he wiped the rest of the last tears away. He blinked them away before shoving his hands into his pockets with a remaining pout. His eyebrows remained furrowed as he quickly glanced around for a distraction. A spear settled in his gaze; one of the successful attempts of a spear. Jack reached out and gripped it tightly in his hands. The tough bark rubbed roughly against his palm, but the calluses proved he had grown used to the feeling. Jack shuffled his way towards the opening, glancing back behind himself for one last look. He peaked his face through the tunnel while huddled down before moving forward.

Jack repeated the motions of prior and shuffled to a stand. He winced. The thorns dug into his skin similar to what they had done before. Jack plucked a few out while he hunkered down to the soft ground. The squishy dirt completely contrasted the crudeness of the vines. He growled under his breath as he tossed away the plucked claws of the creepers from his skin. Jack looked forward after he finished his work. His eyes crawled over the shapes and shadows that gave the jungle its name. Jack bit his lip as his mind ticked with consideration, then suddenly stood up quickly, and made a move forward into the deep greens and dancing shadows. Leaves and small sticks crunching as they made the mistake of laying in his leering path.