everything feels so heavy all the time. A crushing weight I can't ignore that grows and strangles me day after day, hour after hour, all this fighting against it for what? maybe 5 minutes of peace before it starts again?! what's the point anymore.

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@makkux
everything feels so heavy all the time. A crushing weight I can't ignore that grows and strangles me day after day, hour after hour, all this fighting against it for what? maybe 5 minutes of peace before it starts again?! what's the point anymore.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the closer I get to 27 the more I think I should join the 27 club, but I would have to have a name for myself first so in reality it's just me finally accepting defeat against my head instead.
genuinely think there is no point in continuing this life more and more everyday. While my life obviously does not look like what it did 10 years ago, I am at the end of the day the same pathetic person who cowers in fear from everyone and everything. I have no desires with pursuing because I never get a win, not in money, not in career, not in care, at the end of the day I am constantly nowhere.
it's always fucking funny to me that men who claim they want to do nothing more than spoil their fem partner - almost always are incapable of reaching that point.
genuinely feel like I have nothing left to live for. my art has gotten me nowhere despite my passion being ongoing, my degrees can't get me a job in my industry, I'm mentally fucked and can barely communicate to begin with; what the fuck do I even have left.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
babe are you okay you reblogged got that fog in me 11 times
wait, i did? i don't remember doing that...
it is forever despairing that I will never be capable of living a sane or cozy life.
25 is the year that has been the most fucked up for me. In all my years of living this has been my worst mental health year by far.
Everyday I feel so lost and useless, I try to just get by and do the basic adult things to keep myself alive. I go to work, I come home and relax, I sleep, i provide my body with its basic necessities and still I can't help but cry and sob my heart out day after day; about how pathetic I feel waking up and going to sleep.
Every single day I put on a mask of who people want me to be, and I have gone so deep that I don't know who I really am anymore. There is no real version of me, just a juxtaposition of broken fragments that I display as "me" to different peers, all picked out precisely to make them even give a single ounce of care towards my being.
It's never worth it in the end, no matter if I never speak or if I yap the day away... everybody always ends up hating me. I've spent 25 years hating every particle of me, I could name what I hate in alphabetical order, chronological even, color coded for fucks sake. There is not a single thing to like about me. I am fucking nothing at the end of the day.
I spend over 60% of my day fucking alone and depressed and questioning my very existence in my day to day life. Bullied and ignored by peers, despised and hated by more. What's the upside to me? Is it when I cry my eyes out day after day? Is it when I show how weak so am getting for failing to remember to eat third meals? Is it my skeletal figure? I'd it when I get so overwhelmed I cannot speak or move? Didn't think so.
The invisible child I was, the empty adult I am.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I feel lost in my identity.
For my entire life I wondered why nobody liked me, let me talk, wanted to be around me more than they have to be.
It took me 24 years to understand that I may be autistic, which became a realization after decades in school of being in special education; I didn't know why I didn't understand things, why I'd be ignored, forgotten so easily by all my peers that had grown up with me, shared memories with me, seemed to like my presence.
I have no personality outside of my experiences with others, I share things that relate or ask questions relating to similar contexts and it gets bashed down over and over and over again. I try to explain things, I try to understand, I try to be correct, but it never does any good.
I still don't understand why people don't like me, I don't understand whatever the fuck my identity is, I don't understand why people dislike me so much, why I am forgotten so easily, why I am the way I am.
I just don't get it.
I wish I was enough
I truly feel alone in this world.
at the end of the day I am truly by myself
I don't know why I'm even still living, I'm useless in every aspect.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the world is a fucked up place and I'm stuck in it day after day. I don't wanna exist in this anymore.