Differences. ♥

ensomnic:

I wanna be that girl… The girl you can’t stop thinking about all the time. The only girl you ever want to talk to. The girl you talk to your friends about. The girl you introduce to your family. The girl you dream about growing old with and having a family. The girl that can actually put a real smile on your face and who makes you laugh until you cry. The girl you can be your complete self around. The girl you love to death and would do anything for her. I wanna be that girl.

There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don’t feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything.

You know those moments when you want to cry and hug someone, but can’t do either because you don’t want to let yourself break down? the moment when you’re feeling so alone? and everything is hurting you? that you feel so helpless? the only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally alone, like you don’t mean anything to anyone. all you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don’t want their pity, and even if you could tell someone, nothing would come out right. you don’t want to laugh or smile, or whine, or argue, or even be stubborn or difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back. you feel like you will probably search your whole life for that one person that you can totally trust that you can love forever, who will never ever hurt you, but you know somewhere deep down that you’ll probably never find him. he probably doesn’t even exist, so you just give up, you want so desperately to be alone, but at the same time you fear it so much