A Maker, a Baker, trying not to be a Faker

That you could somehow take your career, and knit it into a different city. That you could be closer to your family and still maintain your boundaries and independence. That you could find a way to have that cottage in the woods but also order Thai food and have it delivered to your door.

These are the fantasies of the heartsick, homesick, far-flung millennial.

Top Gun

I will always love this movie, and it keeps me engaged and invested even after all this time.

Roger Ebert said it best, "Movies like Top Gun are hard to review because the good parts are so good and the bad parts are so relentless."

I guess I've always loved exciting trash.

I recall all my power and all my energy back to me with divine care,

Whoever, whatever is living off my light energy,

Run that back, get your own

Im emotionally gifted so I must guard that gift with wisdom and firmness

My openness is emotionally generous, I must be watchful

I am seeing who are and aren’t skilled to receive,

I recieve what others blind spots are, teaching me about budgeting my energy

And setting them boundaries

I have the right to tell people what they don't wanna hear in the name of

setting them boundaries.

I also wont exhaust myself on people who ain't listening, i'm done with people pleasing and attachment to making everyone happy with me.

I Won't share like how i used to share

People wiser, i know now people pleaser isn’t love but it is fear

I am magnificent at releasing expired emotional ties to how I structure my life with people, knowledge, money, friends, nutrition, health of my body, love and time.

Im free from over explaining and justifying my choices

My cutoffs aren't personal, they are spiritual

Anyways, I call back all energy that belongs to me,

I am not the caretaker of those who wanna stay asleep,

I release the programming of being overly responsible for the happiness of others;

The divinity in me you know what's up

Tell me who i should share my intimate energy with

I focus my energy on who sees me and skillfully respect me

Not those who are skilled in choosing their false stories about me

I notice and accept when there is unequal energy exchange

I have more mental real estate when i release people i bonded with through my

Trauma self and not through my healing self; yet i am deeply grateful for the

healing gifts that divine used them for, to help me see my worth.

I speak the law of reciprocity and me to exchange in my most intimate relationships

I now know, misalignments aren't personal but vibrational

I enroll myself into believing my emotional health is to create healthy boundaries with myself

I cast away the curse of suppressing my emotions

I am free from internal violence toward my feelings,

How i feel is a part of fulfilling my purpose

I explore a healthy relationship between my emotions and boundaries

If they feel like home if they feel safe to be around i spend more time with that type

Im learning how to interpret peoples energies; especially those I love

I emit my own frequency and monitor how much of my energy I absorbed from events, social media, texting, conversations, entertainment and thinking.

I attract connections where my love languages are valued, explored and met.

I'm on a budget i gotta keep that same energy no matter what

I surround myself with emotionally mature allies that are strong when i am vulnerable

I vow to not play nice just to be named nice

My circle got like a lowercase O and i love it here,

I'm laughing because i have no clue what's here but god dang it i'm gonna get curious,

And lean into it like I know it will all be all good for me, good for us.

I have people in my life i don't have to reexamine, to reposition in my life

I am honest with who really got what it takes to connect with me and what I offer

To connection

On some realness my worth is not based on how much I give; even if i am misinterpreted or misunderstood, I know i'm not being distant.

I am now gravitating to the vibes that best suit my energy.

Im picky with who I allow into my inner courts; I am my own verification i embrace

Learning relational intelligence to enrich how I relate and invite others to relating deeper even if parts of me are still tender.

I am surrounded only by others that feel like honey.

I have the wisdom to see through agendas to play individual or collective racial wounds against my emotional energy and free thinking,

the power within me is strong that the 1% attempts to control my energetic wealth and wellbeing

My energy is the truest wealth in existence

I am made in the image of God and I am opening to realize that more, this is my truest identity and no one can tell me otherwise.

2019 was a launching pad to my truest thrive ever, i selective where i place my emotional resources and jewels, i open up to only those worthy of my trust

I am worth connections that have spiritual depth, I no longer have to be the strong one, the spiritual one, I have accepted the aligned tribe. I now know that toxic energy of those close to me are not acclimised by my spiritual relationship with myself and kindness toward them with a swiftness and humility.

I buy alla that and let their life be their teacher.

I love people, but my energy tolerance budget? Is hella bougie.

I gotta watch my budget on this energy here,

Hey, hey, hey, hey,

https://onlyrics.co/en/toni-jones/energy-budget?lang=en