chrysalis.

The feelings Harvey harbored for Ferris wheels were only slightly complicated. He could only remember nearly every time he rode one with Maika, and the stirring inside his gut he had to hide just to pretend he wasn't afraid of heights. He'd hide it well, to the best of his abilities. Harvey always made it a point to sit beside her so she wouldn't notice him sweat, focusing more on the view of her than what was around them. Even though he was in a different place now, the Brit was sure he had overcome his fear. It had been years since he had last stepped foot on this thing— surely, it had to be in better shape.

As they neared the front of the line, Harvey found himself grateful for the engaging conversations that his employees were having, which successfully diverted his attention from the imposing size of the overgrown wheel standing before them. Had it always been so massive? Despite his usual hesitance, they had managed to persuade him to accompany them in riding the wheel after they had finished their day’s work. Encouraged by the delightful weather and their fruitful day, Harvey saw no reason to decline the opportunity to take in the sunset, especially at such a great height. However, as they paired off to enter the cabin, Harvey realized he was one too many. The blonde shrugged when the others frowned, waving them off in a very parental way.

"We'll get another rider for ya, buddy," said the operator, and only a few moments later, Harvey was met with Maika— both sporting the same blank look. "Well?" he urged, eying Harvey to step inside. "—Sorry," he hurries towards the cabin doors, turning to Maika as he gestured for her to step in first, allowing her to take his hand if she wanted it. "Ladies first?" he turns with a friendly smile, hoping she didn't mind it too much.

Fate truly had a funny way of bringing people together, just as it had put Maika back in Harvey's passenger seat a few weeks ago. Some higher power was clearly rooting for them, and while it should have been frustrating or awkward, all Maika could do was laugh as she stepped into the cabin. For as much as he'd tried to hide his anxiety in the past, the woman could remember the way her ex had gripped her hand a little tighter as they neared the top of the giant wheel and had to wonder what he was doing riding one alone.

"Have you been on one of these things since my last summer in Briar Ridge? Cause I certainly haven't." Glancing over at Harvey with a timid smile, she felt the wheel begin to rotate so that they could load in the next set of passengers. With nothing more to talk about than the spectacular view, Maika was sure there'd be a lot of awkward pauses. Her only hope was that she could learn to be comfortable around Harvey again one day, rather than continuously feeling as though there was an elephant in the room.

Still, Noa took the offered shot and tossed it back just the same as Maika did. She weathered the burn with a grimace and a hiss before setting the empty shot glass on the coffee table in front of her. About to be on the receiving end of long awaited answers, the brunette had to steady herself with a deep breath. As Maika sat next to her Noa shifted to angle toward her former best friend and resisted the urge to pull out her cell phone. Something she did whenever there was too long of an awkward moment.

Immediately she had questions as Maika began to talk but Noa bit them back and listened, and eventually a sinking feeling began to wash over her. Had all this really had nothing to do with her all this time? Was she so easy to leave hanging and not have any of this expressed to her, as a best friend, over Harvey and her family? Now, Noa wasn't sure what to do with that and the feelings it was producing. Harvey had proposed... wow. She was sure the shock and surprise had flashed on her face at that news, and Noa had sat there blinking a few times. "So... I'm guessing your answer was 'no' then..." Considering that Maika had run away. "I thought... you and Harvey were happy?" Maybe marriage was a little too much too soon, too young, but she wouldn't have expected Maika to run over it. "Why so nervous and overwhelmed?" Noa asked when their eyes met.

It was then that Maika wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. So many of these thoughts and feelings were things the woman hadn't processed for years and while she knew she was ready to speak her truth, it didn't make things any easier. "I think that there were a lot of feelings I struggled to come to terms with until that moment. Things with him were easy and I wouldn't say I wasn't happy... It's just that.. he wasn't you."

Maika knew that her words would leave Noa feeling flustered and confused, but she had forced herself to say them before there was even a chance that she'd chicken out. "He treated me well, my parents loved him, and we had a great connection, but I realized that I was never as happy as I was with you. I realized that the person I was in love with... was you. I buried those feelings for so long and then he proposed and the truth became unavoidable. Between that and the fact that I was miserable about school and the idea of working for my parents.. I realized I spent so much time chasing dreams that weren't my own. Avoiding parts of myself that I've known were always there. And I didn't think I could tell anyone without losing everything else I had, so I ran before anyone could leave me." At this point, there were tears welling in the corners of Maika's eyes and she didn't dare meet Noa's gaze. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, but the fear of loving you was somehow even more terrifying."

While Maika wasn't the most help, holding onto some nuts and bolts surely had to be on her list of qualifications. With a small chuckle, the brunette nodded their head, watching as Mason lowered himself down onto the pavement to take a closer look at the tire. "I would say yes, but odds are I won't retain much of it. And if I do, I'll likely still panic and call a professional" Though embarrassing to admit, she hoped that he would at least be thankful for the honesty before putting him through the trouble of an impromptu lesson. "Oh wow. Where did you guys move here from? Any particular reason that this little town caught your eye?"

Letting another shrug tug his shoulders towards his ears. "I have no clue how to talk to her about any of this. It feels like I'm constantly dodging mine fields of what I can and can't say to her now." he explained. Letting out a sigh, he waved the topic of his ex-wife away. He knew he wasn't going to figure any of that out any time soon. "But enough about me. Have you bumped into Harvey yet since you've been back?"

Knowing that her cousin wanted to move on from this topic of conversation, Maika did her best to put it all to rest. One day, hopefully, Cameron would find a way forward and until that happened, she would be right there beside him every step of the way. "Unfortunately," she chuckled, a solemn expression settling into her features. "I guess I shouldn't say that. I expected things to go a lot worse, but I could tell that it was hard for him. He tries to be there for me like he used to, but I know he wishes things were different." Like her cousin, there would always be some guilt on Maika's conscience about the way that she had handled things toward the end of their relationship. Though if ever given a redo, it was difficult to say he would be any less hurt.

“Oh. Will you go back to New York if you do regret it?” At least it seemed like she may have that choice. “Also a long story, honestly…” Levi trailed, especially since it seemed as if Leyla hung around them a lot. “I came here from out west. California. It’s where I grew up for the most part, originally from London.” 

Maika found herself snickering at Levi's question, the apples of her cheeks now tinted a subtle shade of red. "Is it better or worse if I tell you we went out and bought new ones?" The brunette couldn't help but laugh, recalling the drunken night that had landed them in a Best Buy. It had been a little insane, sure. But she wouldn't have traded these memories for the world.

"It's hard to say. New York is expensive and I had been living with a cousin that moved back home. I'm not really sure I could afford it on my own." It was hard for Maika to admit that she had next to no money since her parents cut her off. But for the first time in her life, she had been the one working to provide for herself and that was pretty cool too. "Oh man. You've been all over the map! I don't know how you go from London, to California, to a little town like Briar Ridge. Must have been quite the adjustment for you."

Harvey observed the vehicle behind her, realizing that she'd probably need a new tire. When she mentions the need to be at work, he remembers the time— almost forgetting he was heading to work himself. Time was either on their side, or it wasn't. It was subtle, but at the very pit of his gut, Harvey was anxious to find out. "Do you have a spare?" he asks, eying where it might be in her car— if she did.

The blonde realized, despite feeling as though he had moved on from their break up, that looking at her in the eye was proving to be difficult. He knew he could— but not for too long. He couldn't stop staring at her, especially as she talked. It had only been two years, and she looked so... Hmm. Harvey shook his head. She looked great, he didn't need to think about it any deeper.

At the mention of Noa, Harvey's brows lift with much interest. "Was she?" There's a lightness to his tone, almost amused. He had so many questions, but the most important one was how could Maika expect Noa to meet her any differently? Of course, she wouldn't be happy. But he couldn't say that— could he? Looking at his door, Harvey then decides the barrier was getting awkward, so he opens it. He sways his body to face her, resting his elbows on his knees. "It'll help me hear what happened a bit better," he grins, aware of his own cheekiness.

At the mention of a spare, Maika shook her head in defeat. If she had been more prepared, maybe it would have been an easier fix. But unfortunately for them both, the car wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Maybe if she had been braver, she would have asked him for a ride to work or a place wait things out that wasn't in the sky's direct line of sun. But on top of feeling like she was inconveniencing him further, the woman couldn't think of anything more awkward than being trapped inside of a vehicle with the very ex who'd asked for her hand in marriage.

"Yes, well. I guess I'm not really that surprised," Maika added, the smile falling from her lips. It was a complex situation and while Noa had very few reasons to understand why she'd left, part of Maika had been hoping that she'd at least be happy to see her. "We were both shopping at Chapman's and I dropped a carton of eggs when I realized it was her. She had a lot of questions.. none of which I wanted to answer there, but she's agreed to hear me out."

If there was one thing Lia loved about coming from a small town, it was how easy it was to run into people she knew and as she hugged Maika, it felt like high school all over again. "Yeah, I get that. Coming back here from LA, it feels like another world." Brushing her hair back, the pause was obvious as she debated how to answer the question. "I.. am here for an extended break, I guess, I actually bought a place on the beach front." Nodding, she smiled through it, but at least there was someone who didn't know the reason she had sprinted away from LA. "I'd love to get a drink though, it'll be so nice to catch up. How is it being back?"

Although Maika was happy to know that she wouldn't have to say goodbye to Lia any time soon, her eyes widened at the mention of buying property. While it was common for musicians and actors to have living accommodations in more than one location, it was hard to believe that Lia was interested in spending more time in Briar Ridge after so many years away from home. "Oh wow! I bet it's gorgeous. What made you decide to come back this way? I hope everything's alright at home."

Maika could only hope she wasn't prying, but the curiosity had gotten to her. "It's been... interesting. I didn't exactly give my family or friends much warning before heading off to New York. I'm beginning to deal with the consequences of that, but I'll get there. I think I'm also still trying to find a way to honour myself without falling back into old habits and routines."

"Please don't do that..." Already disappointment etched into her features. "It's been drawn out long enough, Maika. Don't you think?" Clearly not considering the stalling. Noa let out a sigh and for a moment she tried to alleviate her annoyance by pushing her tongue into her cheek. "Harvey only said he knew where you went but that you'd have to tell me the why." Which had hurt her two times. She and Maika were best friends yet had kept something from her and told someone else, then Harvey, who she'd bonded with a bit, had let her drown rather than toss out life ring buoy.

After years of wondering, Maika knew that it would only be cruel to keep the woman waiting any further. Not only was she lucky that Noa had given her the chance to explain, but she was also rather thankful that Harvey had kept his word. Despite having had more than enough time to prepare for this moment, Maika found her mouth going dry the second she parted her lips to speak. Even looking into the wounded eyes of her best friend was enough to break her heart.

After pouring Noa a shot of tequila and handing it off to her, Maika took one of her very own, throwing her head back as the burn spread across her throat. Hopefully soon, it numb her brain long enough to get through the hard parts of this conversation. As she seated herself on the couch beside her old roommate, Maika clasped her hands together in her lap and allowed her eyes to focus on the chipped red nail polish covering her fingertips

"I left because I was terrified... Of so many things, honestly. Letting Harvey down, letting my parents down, letting you down. The closer we got to graduation, the more I realized I was only enrolled in that silly program to please them. Sure, it was fun at times and I genuinely enjoyed interior design in some ways.. but the idea of working with them–for them... It was sickening. I had planned to stick it out and at least get my diploma before making any rash decisions, but then Harvey and I went out for what I thought would be a normal date night and he proposed. I think for most people that would have been something exciting, but I have never been more nervous or overwhelmed in my entire life." Finally allowing her gaze to meet Noa's, Maika took a deep breath, hoping to give her friend the time to process what information she'd given her before continuing any further.

Before Maika could argue, the stranger was removing all of the required tools from his vehicle and giving her no choice but to accept his help. As a rosy shade of pink tinted the apples of their cheeks, the brunette nodded, popping open the trunk so that they could assist him in removing the tire from within. "It's nice to meet you, Mason. I'm Maika. I really am appreciative, I just hate putting anyone through this trouble. And I hate standing around even more. Anything I can do?"

Stepping to the side, Maika did their best to stand out of the way, though it was hard not to want to jump right in and help. "Have you always lived here? I can't help but notice a bit of an accent. Though I didn't live in town these last few years."

Letting out another sigh, his shoulders rising and falling with it dramatically, Cam shook his head. "I suppose you're right, but it just feels... I don't know how to do that when I'm constantly wondering if Gen is going to walk around the corner, you know?"

Maika couldn't help but smile at Cameron's response. He got it. He always did. It was the thing about their relationship that made it so effortless and easy. Of all her family members, he was the one who understood the way her brain worked and supported every thought, feeling or desire, no matter how unexpected. "I really am convinced that you and I were built differently. I don't know how were related to any of those assholes." Maika emphasized the joke with a laugh, hoping that their cousin wouldn't take the words too seriously. She really did love her family. It was just difficult to do so at times.

At the man's next words, their smile faltered, heart aching in response to his feelings of longing. It made them wonder if Harvey ever still felt that way. "For your sake, I wish she would. But it's been a few years now. You never know, maybe someone could make you even happier. Not that it would change anything, but does she know how you feel?"

"If you did that, I honestly don't think I'd ever leave. But if you do ever get an N-Sync tour t-shirt from back in the day, phone me immediately." Chuckling softly, she picked up a pair of sunglasses, pushing them onto her face before turning to her friend for approval. "Cool, let me clear out my bank account in here and then you can catch me up on all things Maika. How is everything with you anyway?"

Maika couldn't help but laugh at Cali's declaration. The fashion of the 2000s had been truly horrendous, with low-rise jeans at the top of their list of style regrets. It was truly hard to believe how much they had all suffered for 'fashion' when the look of them was horrible to begin with. "Don't get me started. I hope high-waisted things never go out of style. I don't miss having to worry about my ass crack being on display every time I sit down."

With a loud chuckle and shake of their head, Maika tried to shove the memory toward the back of her mind before taking mental note of Cali's shopping list. "Got it! You'll be the first person I call if we ever get one in." With a nod of approval, Maika raised their hand to signal an 'a-okay' as they admired the sunglasses with appreciation. Cali could truly pull anything off and it was something they envied her for. "Eh, I'm okay. It's been a weird adjustment and I'm not going to lie, part of me really wishes I could hop on a plane back to New York. But I know it'll get easier with time. How have you been?"

Maika could tell that this was Noa's attempt at an escape route. And quite honestly, they couldn't blame her for wanting an easy way out. The conversation was bound to get heavy, and Maika knew that this would be the most honest they'd been throughout the entire duration of their friendship. Shaking her head, Maika opened the door a little wider to invite the other woman inside. "Come in. Take a seat. Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? A shot of tequila?" The final option had been just as serious as it was an attempt to lighten the mood.

With an awkward chuckle, the brunette lead her through the entryway and over to the couch, where they gestured for Noa to take a seat across from them. "I'm not going to lie, there are a lot of layers to this mess, so let's start with what you do know.. How much did Harvey tell you after I left? And I guess, uh.. What things have you heard through the grapevine?"