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@magpiemourning
explaining some stuff: I've got borderline personality disorder, and for a while, used yanderecore to cope with the intense emotions it brought. I've found healthier coping mechanisms, and have a healthier approach to my relationships now, but I'm not going to delete any of the old yandere posts on this blog. Just keep in mind that they no longer reflect how I feel
plus this is my secondary blog SO I KEEP ACDIDENTALLY REBLOGGING THINGS HERE
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
how small do i have to make myself before you can tolerate me enough to love me? how much of me do you not want to see? what about me is too ugly for you to care for me? are you even worth my time, or is this just proof that i'm better off alone?
the memory changes
why am I so easy to forget about? why am I so easy to ignore? why am I so easy to push away? why can't I figure out how to be enough without making things worse? why am I so easy to lie to? why am I trapped, never being anyone's first choice?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i feel so… / …disconnected…
part 1 of a series, [part 2]
I think one of the most toxic things that I have inherited from growing up fat is an inherent mistrust of my own value. I can’t ever feel like I truly love myself, because it has to be performative to do so. Others can’t love me or want me because they have to have an ulterior motive. And you have to actively fight against those instincts all the time.
I'm getting really tired. Of posts that admonish fat people to get over their internalized fatphobia. "Seriously you recognize the beauty in other people so why can't you see it in yourself?" Etc etc
You know what. My internalized fatphobia didn't come from myself. If i was left to my own devices I'd probably think I was pretty hot shit. I can romanticize any damn thing if you give me a couple minutes.
I've gotten over my internalized fatphobia before. Once. Twice. Three times. A dozen. A hundred. Countless times I've done this. And on the next day the world teaches it back to me.
I'm treated differently every day of my life because of my weight. It factors into my interactions with almost everyone I meet. Multiple times a day I'm reminded of how other I am, a separate human subspecies.
My fatphobia isn't the problem. The problem is the fatphobia of non-fat people who are incapable of viewing me the same way they view themselves. And I'm sick of their issues getting ignored while we focus all our attention on changing the perceptions of fat people, critiquing their self image over and over again while remaining silent on the reason why they feel bad about themselves to begin with.
Stop making post after post incredulously exclaiming over fat people's inability to view themselves in a positive manner, and spare a few words to everyone else - the ones actually causing the problem.
I feel like such a hypocrite telling chubby and fat guys that they’re handsome and hot and attractive and going and encouraging people to eat when i despise my weight and would love to never eat again
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ive been trying to work up the courage to dm you,but i feel like itd have no purpose,or point in doing so,i dont mean for it to have any motives
Just that,i want to say sorry for the last time,what i did was unfair and disgusting to you,not only to him
I never considered your feelings,and now ive only sobered up from being exposed
I just hope you're happy whereever you are,and im sorry to have done this to you,and to leave you with bitter memories of the last 3 years abruptly
Goodbye,i wish you best of your years
-you know who this is
message received
What happened to all your pretty little promises, huh? You don’t know? I didn’t think so.
🗿do not enable toxic behaviors🗿
i followed a blog under a case of mistaken identity and i got concerned by the amount of enabling that occurred in that blog. yandere venting is fine, acceptable and encouraged even, but amount of troubling asks and bad advices being received and being enabled to continue those unhealthy behaviors are rather worrisome.
as wonderful as yandere writing may be, both to write and to read, i do not believe that irl “yandere” behavior is okay. it is NOT healthy, period. yandere should stay in fictions.
it is NOT okay to get upset over your partner’s perceived slights.
it is NOT okay to threaten, coerce, and guilt your partner into staying with you.
it is NOT okay to humor and enable the asker to continue their unhealthy behaviors toward their partner.
it is NOT okay to emotionally, mentally, and physically abuse. period.
please, please, communicate with your partner. sit them down and talk. leave when you start feeling irrationally angry and take a deep breath, count backward from 10 to 1. rise and repeat as needed.
getting angry oftentimes solve nothing and the so-called yandere-ness over your partner will only escalate the issues.
as for those who receive those asks asking for advice, be supportive, do not enable those toxic behaviors, and encourage them to seek therapy if serious. be a friend everyone needed, but also know your limits and step away to breathe and put yourself first.
separate yandere from reality.
🗿do not enable toxic behaviors🗿
James Baldwin, If Beale Street Could Talk
⚔️🖤 Darlin' n Angel🖤⚔️
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
⚔️🖤 Darlin' 🖤⚔️
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I did it. I finally did it. Buzzed with the feeling of short living serotonin right now. Obsessed that you do not mind. I've shown you this blog of mine and Darlin'....you've accepted it. You accept and love me. I love you. I really do. I love you. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
Oh I'm lost, head feels so fuzzy from seeing you not only accept it but follow it, liking my hard work. My public adoration. I play favorites. It's not fair, I do.
I can't stop thinking about it. You even called me your Angel. Yes. Yes I'm your angel. You're my god. We are inseparable darlin. Our own religion. Christianity can SUCK IT. We are first.
I adore you. I enjoy you. Your company. Your presence in general.
I love you.
⚔️🖤 Darlin'🖤⚔️
me n who <3
♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡
