magpiee

the bad girls all have such fun titles. archdevil of rebellion fig faeth. blessed saint of doubt kristen applebees. the people’s oracle adaine abernant

Their one friend who's always wearing a denim vest with no shirt and suddenly has a horse following him around at all times has a weird vendetta against you for seemingly no reason

They've given you two antique Rolexes.

you are not allowed to cry. their hot, french friend points out that you need to wear a tie. at one point, they ask you to spend several hours driving multiple buses to an empty lot. you will never not be wearing a tie ever again.

you drink blood straight from one of their hands and it gets you so high you punch through a brick wall. immediately after this, they have you escort patty babcock (21 year old college student they have been obsessed with for months and ordered two food trucks for) to them for a meeting. when they dismiss you, you’re still so high that you jump thirty feet straight on the air and sprint out a window.