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crash

foxerice

DO continue the old guard AU pls :)

immortal foxes part 2!

cinnamonfoxjosten

not to be horny on main but that time when andrew minyard asked wymack to pick a number, let the opposing team score exactly that many goals, and then locked down the goal was the literal sexiest thing ever

stick-ball

Fake identity crisis'in be like that

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biblilo

My OC Oathbreaker Paladin boi based on fashion that my DM said reminded him of Verity

toodeepforyou

beau falling hopelessly in love with every woman she spends more than five minutes talking to makes her the only realistic gay character

kindly-whisper-norbury

Soon, Tumblr as we know it will change… but before that happens, I just want to say…

…

Thanks for the mammaries

For the memes that wouldn’t quit

For agreeing to say “I like your shoelaces” if we ever met

-

Thanks for the bad puns

For the emotional support

And for opening our eyes to things we’d never seen before

-

Thanks for incorrect quotes

For the Mishapocolalypse

For all the OTPs that never quite became canon ships

-

Thanks for “the signs as” lists

For the fanmixes and fanfic

And for how a certain imagine could make us squee or squick

-

Thanks for AO3 feeds

For aesthetics and moodboards

For how “what is air?” worked when we were lost for words

-

Thanks for the headcanons

For shoving breadsticks in your purse

And how we never can forget the phrase “take me to snurch”

-

Thanks for the recipes

For how text posts derailed

For gushing about NaNoWriMo even harder when we failed

-

Thanks for SuprWhoLock

For cross stitch, knitting, and crochet

And for how Obama dropping the mic meant there was nothing more to say

-

Thanks for stories in the tags

For smudged writing on your hand

And for how 3AM drunk posts got many more reblogs than planned

-

Thanks for “beeves” and “snoteleks”

For warning that spoilers lay ahead

For how we’d whisper “just one more post”, but never go to bed

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Thanks for arrows to the knee

For letting us obsess

And for when we agreed to disagree on the color of that dress

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Thank you for the Science Side

For spoopy Halloween

For Canada, Australia, and for every place between

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Thanks for “okay, that sounds fake”

For so much lovely art

And for the way a well-made gifset can truly break a heart

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Thanks for the cute animal posts

For the cauliflower grandad

For the way that Denny’s posts made us think that they’d gone mad

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Thanks for “follow forevers”

For every eccentricity and quirk

And for what different people thought of as “not safe for work”

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Thanks for procrastination

For the celebrities we’d roast

For the loyal mutuals who reblogged every post

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Thanks for hiatus therapy

For “trying to find them in a crowd”

And for letting us tell the world the things we’d never say aloud

-

So I said “thanks for the mammaries”

But what I really meant to say

Was thanks for all the memories that we’ve made along the way

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

*someone posts selfie* wow they’re kinda attracti—

*remembers teenagers are on this site*

*checks op’s bio, they’re a minor*

what a sweet kid…a cute bean… you deserve only good things…be happy and safe little muffin… I wonder if I could pull off that eyeliner…

mass-exodus

hey gaudy? you’re a cool adult.

mass-exodus

#and this is why the ‘but they looked 18/21’ excuse is such utter bullcrap#you check#you ALWAYS check#and you NEVER get to use a young person’s appearance to justify your own inappropriate behavior

reblogging again for the tags because this holds so much value to me as a minor and i think it’s really important that y’all understand this.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#adults have a responsiblity to keep kids safe #no matter how old they are

janglingargot

When I was sixteen, my family visited Hawaii, and I had a cute new swimsuit. I was a pretty busty teen, with the vocabulary of an AP English student, and while I was out swimming, a couple of college guys started flirting with me. Nothing gross, just pleasantly casual hey-you-look-great-how-are-you-enjoying-the-beach stuff.

After a minute or two of this, one of them asked if I was there with friends, and I said no, I was with my family. “Wow, you still travel with your family?” one exclaimed. “That’s cool…”

“Well, I am sixteen,” sez me.

Reader, they blanched. They flustered, they apologized, they assured me that they’d thought I was also in college, they wished me a good vacation and they bounced. All within about a minute of realizing they’d been chatting up a minor.

I was mildly mortified at the time, but now? I look back and think, Ah, what good men. What good young men.

botanyshitposts

hey I don’t think I’ve ever talked here about corn wolves. here let me find a gas station real quick

botanyshitposts

okay so I’m in the middle of nowhere stopped for gas in a small town in Iowa rn and my Internet is REALLY spotty so I hope this posts but

as people who have followed this blog for longer might know, sometimes I go hang out with this corn genetics lab at school, as in we meet up on friday nights to talk about corn science and stuff. once the corn genetics subject of the week is covered sometimes we go off track and start talking about other stuff. as u may imagine from a corn genetics lab, most of the members grew up on farms here in the midwest, and one night we were talking and a couple of the people started discussing an urban legend that they were taught as kids to keep them from running into their family’s cornfields and getting lost. one of those people was from Nebraska, and the other from rural minnisoda- these were isolated incidents of this urban legend happening, and all of us were deeply engrossed in this. i cannot make this shit up, this is the story:

there are wolves that live inside the corn when it’s full grown. they’re huge, and are camouflaged to hide in the fields. their breathing sounds like the misting of the irrigation systems set up over the corn in these areas for water. if they see small children in the fields, they kill and eat them.

now I’ve lived my whole life in suburban Iowa, and I can vouch that we don’t have irrigation systems like that here; our group came to the conclusion that this must be the reason that from our 7 or 8 person sample size, the corn wolves did not exist in Iowa, the largest producer of corn. I’ve never seen the corn wolves mentioned anywhere else outside that one night with the genetics lab, and it really fascinates me because as a horror/creepypasta person myself, I think it’s a great example of those strange little urban legends that never get written down on paper. the fact that it’s never appeared anywhere else in my life kind of confounds me, because it’s a really cool story. i like to go driving around rural Iowa when I’m home from college, and i always end up thinking about the corn wolves.

neither of the people believed it as kids btw lol

gallusrostromegalus

This is a FANTASTIC piece of Americana and cryptic lore. I propose making them a thing immediately.

fatehbaz

Fun geography time. This isn’t an unprecedented or unusual piece of folklore, and I think there’s a notable demographic reason that this lore shows-up in the long-grass prairies of the northern Corn Belt of the U.S. This appears to be a classic telling of “Roggenwolf” folklore, a variation on the “feldgeister” concept. Roggenwolf - or sometimes, Kornwolf - specifically refers to the German folk belief in a phantom wolf spirit which hides in tall corn fields and stalks children. Roggenwolf is one of the more popular and widely-known of the feldgeister spirits. In German folk culture, Feldgeisters, as is probably obvious from the name, are malevolent spirits which dwell in crops and rural agricultural fields. Feldgeisters are almost always specifically associated with children; that is, they are said to target children for torment and death. They are not really associated with naturally-occurring grasslands or woodlands, but instead are distinctly related to domesticated crops. Sometimes, some rural residents will make small ritualistic offerings during harvest season as a gesture to appease the spirit. The spirit is said to be most active when crops are at their tallest. Other variations of the crop-dwelling feldgeister include an evil pig (Roggensau); a dog that tickles children to death (Kiddelhunde); a witch-like corn-woman who kidnaps children (Roggenmuhme); and a chicken that pecks-out children’s eyes (Getreidehahn). I would say that there are two (2!) very good reasons why feldgeister lore shows-up in some micro-regions of the Midwest, while being absent in others. Specifically, both the ethnic heritage and the ecology of a certain part of the Plains/Midwest create good conditions for replicating this European lore in North America People familiar with the cultural geography of the American Midwest are probably well-aware of the strong ethnic Norwegian presence among rural agricultural cultures in the glaciated plains of the Red River Valley of western Minnesota, the northern half of North Dakota, and northeastern Montana. Ecologically, this landscape is glaciated prairies with pothole lakes, and often hosts much more barley than corn. Meanwhile, the Heartland region of rural Illinois and Indiana, though hosting quite a bit of heavy corn industry, isn’t too much more ethnically German than other parts of America, and much of the landscape is a mixture of Rust Belt industrial areas in-between the cornfields (so it’s not exactly desolate and creepy). However, there is very strong ethnic German presence in the long-grass prairies southern Minnesota, South Dakota, south-central North Dakota, parts of western Wisconsin, and central Nebraska and Kansas away from the urban areas of Omaha and Kansas City. In most of this land, over 50% of the population has German ancestry. Aside from this cultural composition, this region also lends itself better to creepy, eerie stories because it is more empty and ecologically homogenous than the rest of the Great Lakes and Heartlands; this is the region where crops run uninterrupted for miles and rural dirt-roads run in empty grid networks in every direction. Though the feldgeister concept has a closer association with cornfields in Europe, the long-grass prairies (roughly centered neared Sioux Falls) host 1) heavy German influence, and 2) the most expansive crops in the country. Therefore, the region is probably ripe for a replication of spooky German lore about haunted cornfields.

Source: Me Map 1 – Cultural Micro-Regions of the Heartland and Great Plains: I think that this map might help to visualize where both cornfields and rural lifestyle predominate, opening the door to rural folklore. The two regions here where corn agriculture is predominant are the orange and yellow regions. The orange region, the classic “Heartland”, hosts Indiana Hoosier culture and the cornfields of Illinois and Ohio. However, the region is marked by smaller farms and a higher population density, and is not that rural compared to the plains further west; much of this region also hosts larger cities and a lot of Rust Belt industrial zones and dairy farms. The yellow region, however, is both covered in corn and quite rural, where crops can span from horizon to horizon. That’s where we would look for German folk culture.

Source: An anonymous hero cartographer who’s had their work stolen by Pinterest users Map 2 – German Ancestry in the U.S. This might help to visualize the places where predominant corn agriculture overlaps with German ancestry. Note that in much of central Wisconsin and central North Dakota, over 50% of people have German ancestry. But this land isn’t really dominated by corn. However, the region roughly from Fargo (on the Minnesota-North Dakota border) to Kansas City is both heavily German and dominated by corn. — Anyway, feldgeister lore is scary. I’d love to hear more American versions, since a lot of the scholarship on these spooky corn-wolves is based on folk culture in Germany itself, rather than the diaspora in the U.S.

fatehbaz

Saw this post about feldgeister’s going around again, so thought I’d make a low-effort re-post for anyone interested in “Midwestern gothic” or how local ecology influences regional folklore.

botanyshitposts

this an awesome hot take thank you!!

and just in time for halloween and the corn harvest, too 👀

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grandtheftalto

Since it’s National Coming Out Day, I’d like to take the time to formally announce that I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this it was only a kiss it was only a kiss

marisatomay

I don’t wanna name an actual author so let’s just make one up; let’s call her ‘JK Rowling.’ So I’ll fall in love with this author’s work and I’ll ask her, ‘Can we have some happiness?’ And she’ll go, ‘No. They all end up straight or dead.’ And I go, ‘Okaaay!’ And then I go to the bathroom. Then I come out of the bathroom and I go, ‘How about a sequel?’ and she goes ‘Ha, you get one (1) weird play. Now take this shitty play that paints everyone you loved as super out of character and leaves you feeling queerbaited, go fetch!’ And I go ‘Okaaay!’ and I go over to Pottermore and go, ‘Can I have anything please?’ and they go ‘NO!’ And I go ‘Okaaay!’ And they go, ‘Everything JKR does is good because she considers herself a feminist!’ And I go ‘Nooo,’ and they go ‘SAY IT!’ and I go ‘Everything JKR does is good because she considers herself a feminist.’ And then I go over to look at the diversity and representation in Harry Potter, which is an oxymoron, and I go, ‘Can we please have an openly gay character?’ and they go ‘No! In fact, we’re not even going to mention the sexuality of the one (1) gay character we revealed to be gay post canon despite his central roll in the new movie series that we’re pushing at you! And we’re going to support a man who beat his wife instead of listening to the scores of fans who feel hurt and alienated by our decisions!’ And I go ‘Why are you doing this?!’ And they go, ‘Because we’re JK Rowling and Warner Bros, and life is a fucking nightmare!’

petefoxshend-deactivated2018062

“Big Pharma” okay are we talking about how privatization and monetization has deeply corrupted the field of medicine or are you talking about how you think chemicals in the water are making the frogs gay

greyramblings

“GMOs”? Are we talking seeds that grow sterile plants and patenting genetic modifications then destroying any competition no matter how small they are? Or are we talking life saving rice with vitamin a to make sure kids don’t go blind in regions not suited for other high vit a veg? … or are we talking about your chidoodle?

the-memedaddy

rosadiiiaz-deactivated20181223

why do people stan Loki when the ultimate anti-hero has been here the entire time

blogging-phelddagrif

Bold of you to assume Doug Judy isn’t Loki

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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neeksknocks

why does mark ruffalo have insane chemistry with literally everyone except scarlett johansson

kryptonians

bold of you to imply Scarlett Johansson has chemistry with anyone.

brbgottagoread

Me: *gets anxiety making a phone call* Also me: *feels completely at ease and downright cheerful wandering around unfamiliar city with only vague knowledge of how to get to where I’m going*

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