this is the moment you stop being the rabbit

kevin’s perfectly preserved bedroom at the nest VS jeans box of destroyed belongings

imagine you work at a luxury car dealership. two college kids show up in a shitty rental car one day. one is has facial tattoos and the haughty attitude of a famous person. the other is a dead-faced goth the size of an elf. tattoo boy says they’re here to buy so you humor them and show some cars. elf man doesn’t say a word the whole time but clearly is calling the shots. he points at a Maserati and says he’ll be paying for the whole thing, no financing necessary. then he goes back over to the rental car, where evidently there has been a whole person asleep in the backseat the entire time. this man is about the same height as the goth pixie and dressed like a homeless person. he listens to the goth say something, pulls out several wads of cash, hands them over and goes back to sleep. your boss spends the next hour walking these freaks through the paperwork while you count through what turns out to be nearly 100k in cold hard cash. no one explains a goddamn thing and they leave with the nicest car on the lot

The abled almost never understand that we don't live in the same timeframes. We just don't. I've faced condescension or frustration at demanding a double standard but I'm sorry, there entirely is one. I can not, no matter how hard I try, and trust me, I try every day, live at the standard I was able to live at without much struggle before I got sick. If I try I'll faint then and there, collapse from pain, have to seek immediate help, spend several MONTHS in recovery. So fucking miss me with your judgment. The truth is we do live in two standards. To illustrate July has 31 days for an abled person, but for me, a sick person, it had 5 days. And I don't mean 5 days of fun or entertainment or productivity, no. For only 5 days this month I was able to get out of bed, care for my basic needs on my own, take care of a BASIC IMMEDIATE responsibility of some kind like go to the store, go to the hospital for my check up, go visit a friend, bake or cook, do work on a computer. Not all of them, not a couple of them, just 2 at max a day. And each of that day had resulted in very painful consequences that made days before and after that activity just not exist. So no, we do not live in the same timeframes, and stop treating disabled people like they can conform to you.

the phrase never meet your idols is wrong because sometimes you meet your idols and they match your freak to levels you didn’t know were possible. they might even out freak you.

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

@stick-ball