I don't think aang truly loved katara. When you love someone you grow with them ,you become a better person ,not just for them, but for you. When you love someone you don't always choose them ,you choose the bigger thing that will also help them.When you love someone you let them go if that's something you have to do to save them. You listen to what they have to say. You treat them like someone you want to be with,not like they're your mother. When you love someone you don't force them to do something they don't want ,like kissing them without their permission. When you love someone you don't threaten someone who thinks the person you like is a better match with someone else. If you really love them ,you accept that they need something more than you or even someone else ,someone who's a better match for them. That's why Aang didn't love Katara. Sure he had a crush on her ,but not love.

It really doesn't matter what people want to use to justify Aang yelling at Katara in the movie, because the creators could have written whatever they wanted to justify him treating her that way. The fact that they didn't bother and it comes across as poorly justified is a testament to how much this movie does not care about Katara.

Exacty! She didn't choose not to kill Yon Rah because she forgave him, or saw the sanctity of his life, or whatever nonsense Aang was peddling. She chose not to forgive him because he was pathetic. Had he made any move towards defending himself, that would have been the end of Yon Rah. She says it, out loud, in the end that Aang was wrong about what she needed, and she was right. She didn't need to kill Yon Rah, or forgive him. What she needed was to confront him- confront her biggest trauma and realize she was stronger than it. Just like Zuko needed to confront Ozai. Aang wouldn't understand that, though, because Aang has never actually had to confront any of his trauma. Any time he got close, the narrative shielded him from the weight of it.

I think the biggest change if Aang had been just somewhere offscreen with Toph during the episode is that Katara would be less pissed off about the whole thing, and would be less angry, less likely to commit violence because now no one is pushing forgiveness on her and making her feel like she isn't being understood (she straight up told Aang he didn't understand, it doesn't matter if you think Aang does, Katara does not feel understood), and then when she got back, she still would not have killed or forgiven, but she'd be less sad and confused and more confident that she'd made the right decision because she doesn't have to face Aang judging her anymore. That's a net positive.

im sorry but kataang is not the revolutionary, feminist-leaning ship that kas think it is