i sought what set my soul on fire

At first, one would assume that she hadn’t been hurt, but she could already tell by her bloody nose that she had been hurt far more than she was letting on. She had seen her head hit the floor as well as she fell, so it was a small miracle that she hadn’t been knocked unconscious by the fall. 

“No, it didn’t,” Nadia said. She reaches out to grasp her hand, hoping that she would be able to pull herself up, even if she needed her help. “I am having some difficulty believing that that was intentional, and if you wouldn’t mind I think we should make sure that no further damage has been done. Can you sit up at all?” 

“Well, there’s always next time, beautiful.” Oh something was definitely wrong with her - not that she didn’t casually compliment Nadia constantly, but not in a way that made her sound so sleazy. She waved off the hand she offered. “Nah nah, I got it, I don’t wanna pull you down here with me.” She pushed her upper half up on her elbows - another pain to add to the list - and managed to sit herself up.

The biggest grin grew in her face as she complied with her request, and she didn’t waste a second to show her absolute excitement about that.

“I knew it! I definitely knew it. Oh, you just don’t know how much I’ve needed you here, Ryn. I have way too many things to say about some people around here and- you know how many times I’ve been able to bitch about them? NONE.” She linked her arm with hers as she spoke and used her free hand to make broad gestures in the air. If anything that place had only made her habit to speak with her hands way worse, and the whole stillness of the world inside those walls have had their effect in the rest of her movements as well. She seemed more quick, a lot more prone to keep herself busy in those spaces where her companion talked to others, inspecting her hands and moving her feet impatiently as if there wasn’t enough time to resume their conversation, and making her almost thank the skies when the servants finally decided to leave.

“Wait… he is gone again? For fuck’s sake, Ryn. He got here like- what? Four days ago? Ugh, I don’t know about you, but I’m this close to change the locks of every door and let him get the message. That shop was supposed to be a shared responsibility after all.” And all those years, or as long as she could remember at least, the job was always shared between the two of them. All the selling and preparations and keeping the records of what they had and lacked were tasks they split and sometimes shared with Asra whenever he was around, with ‘whenever’ becoming an ‘almost never’ with the years that passed by.

“Tell me again, was he like that before I had the accident? Or have we been talking about this for over a decade now, I need to know.” For she had relied on the idea that Asra had come back and stayed after the message she sent him the other day. A rushed thing of course, but she had trusted that Asra would know that she really didn’t want to leave Ryn on her own. It was the first time she left their home like this, but it all seemed to indicate that either the message never found him, or he was way too entertained with whatever he was visiting this time.

One way or another, it only added to the things she had been holding against him for a time now.

“Oh, here it is! Room sweet room, please go ahead miss.” She insisted with a playful bow, a short gesture that she promptly followed with the closing of a door and the revealing of things that shouldn’t be heard by the Countess herself. Namely, the one thing Ryn had just mentioned and that she completely lacked in her hands.

“I want you to turn your attention to this fine space that includes, but is not limited to, the nicest bed you will ever see, two windows with curtains way more expensive than our entire place, and this beautiful pile of notes that I definitely wrote myself.” She said signaling to an empty desk. A very beautiful, but also very empty surface that she had never used.

Outrageous, yeah, but- she could finally take that weight off of her shoulders now that her beautiful friend had come to help her, right? I mean, that was what friends were for, isn’t it?

 “Inspiring, I know. But what can I say? Nothing but the best service for our nation, that for sure.”

She was needed, huh? That was a nice change, for once. “Talking shit? Fuck, I’d love to. Especially about nobles - they don’t all have to be nobles, but like... you know.” Then she brought up Asra, and Ryn stiffened. “Even if I changed the locks, he could magic his way inside. Or maybe he wouldn’t because... respect I guess? I don’t know, I’m so tired of him pulling this shit. If he’s depressed, he should take a page out of my book and just stay in one place - and that place is our room.”

She bit her lip at Nish’s question. It was a sore subject for everyone, but Ryn especially didn’t like drudging up the pain of it all. “He left - just not nearly as much.” She rose her free hand to her forehead. “It just really sucks, and he doesn’t seem to notice how upset it’s making me.” Maybe because she hadn’t told him, and played the part of someone who needed her space. But how could she tell him without revealing too much, or going through the same heart-wrenching song and dance she’d gone through on her own one too many times? “Well, I hope he’s having a whole lot of fun over there, because whenever he comes home, he can just go fuck himself for all I care.” She cared a lot.

She, thankfully, had something else to focus on when they reached Nish’s room, her bowing getting her to laugh again. “Don’t mind if I do.” She was practically slapped in the face with the opulence of it all, not to mention the space. “Nish, this is bigger than our fucking apartment, I-- wow. I hate you so much right now.” More like she hated herself to not come along when the opportunity was there. 

❝   you   are   the   idiot   !   ❞   solid   come   back.   lucio   grinned,   visibly   proud   of   himself.   despite   not   being   the   picture   of   perfect   coherence.   leaning   slightly   too  heavily   on   ryn,   were   his   brain   any   less   fuzzy,   he   would   be   surprised   by   her   ability   to   hold   him   up   -   as   of   now,   he   took   it   as   given.

❝   i   am   the   -   most   greatest   gentleman   of   them   all.   the   …   bestest.   ❞   smirking   all   the   wider   as   he   took   the   hand   that   was   slung   around   his   shoulders   to   press   a   sloppy,   uncoordinated   kiss   to   it.   ❝   see   ?   ❞

“fuck, you wounded me right to my core, how will i ever go on?” her tone was utterly deadpan as she stared at him with the blankest expression she could manage - not easy given her drunken compulsion to laugh and/or burp. he was making it hard to hold him up in such a position, but she relished just a little in having his full weight on her. she liked the idea of such a powerful dumbass man needing to rely on her. inept as he was in the moment, his fate was in her hands. she had the power.

and like an idiot, she would only do very little with it.

“You guess?” Asra arched a brow as he rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “As always your compassion is astounding, Ryn. I’ll be sure to remember that this is the thanks I get for sparing you from doing the shopping.” Much like her, none of his words were meant in seriousness. He couldn’t help but return her sass in equal measure; it had long since been their routine, a sign that they were comfortable and happy around each other. 

Free of his burden, Asra wandered back to the front door to remove his shoes, hanging his scarf and hat on designated hooks near the frame. Turning around to find her unpacking bags, he was quick to rush back over to her, pulling one bag away just as it gave a suspicious clang. He shot her a cheeky wink as he took over unpacking that bag instead, removing a few tins of herbs and an assortment of crystals. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said lightly, watching her sidelong. His expression softened when her words did, though, and he smiled. “It’s no problem. I had fun doing it—would have been better if you’d been there with me, though.” Asra turned to her as he pulled a small, rectangular box out of the bag, offering it between them. “Here. Since you’re so curious.”  

She scrunched her face up at him. “Listen - my kindness is just so overwhelming that it’s incomprehensible. Don’t think about it too hard.” She chuckled at herself, as she always did - Asra almost always entertained her varying quality of humor, but at least she had one consistent fan. No matter if it was herself.

“Gee, what could be in there that you don’t want me to see? Who knew you were such a secretive bastard?” Maybe that one was a little pointed, but it wasn’t like Ryn’s frustration with his constant leaving and lack of total communication was a secret. She had tried sugarcoating her feelings for his benefit in the beginning, even keeping them inside, but that didn’t help either of them. To prevent the mood from souring, she made a comical, overly animated grab for one of the crystals he took out. “You got me this? Boring.”

She ducked her head to hide the big smile that broke out on her face when he spoke. He knew she was secretly soft, soft for him especially, but he didn’t need to see it all the time. “Yeah yeah, well - you know me. You’ll have to drag me out of this shop if you really want me with you.” She only rose her head back up when he presented the box to her, and she eagerly opened it. Inside was a long silver chain with a big, chunky star pendant. “Oh, damn, this is so cool. Thank you!.” She embraced him readily. “I can wear this when I go out at night - it’ll make my outfit semi-fancy.”

She seemed to have the same idea, which eased Caspian a little bit. Even with her comment that was supposedly a joke, he finds himself not wanting any trouble between the two of them (for now, at least), and he takes his seat across from her once more. 

“And here I was thinking the same thing,” he says. He just hoped that she would see it as a joke, since she had been so willing to do the same thing. “So… what brings you to this side of town? From what I’ve heard, most people have deemed this place to be “too rowdy” for… everyone really,” he says, hoping to strike up a conversation with her. It would be better than sitting there in silence. 

“I don’t look fun?” Despite the accusatory statement, her tone was surprisingly light as she adjusted her shawl and twirled a lock of white hair around her finger for effect. “I’m here to drink for cheap - nothing deep about it. And yeah, it’s loud as hell in here and you don’t really get left alone, but-- well again, cheap.” She shrugged, resting her elbows on the table.

For a brief moment, Muriel feels a small tinge of guilt as he watches her reaction to him suddenly appearing (which he found to be unlikely, due to his size). The feeling disappears quickly however, and is replaced by curiosity. To him, she didn’t seem like the type of person who would be interested in painting, especially when it wasn’t really needed. 

“… I wanted… to visit the shop,” he said slowly. He was hoping that Asra would be home, as there was something that he needed to tell him. That wasn’t his only reason for visiting however. “… I need to pick up a few things… and this is the only place I know of that sells them…” he explained. “… can I go in?” he then asked. 

“Uh...huh...” She eyed him with a raised brow. Maybe she was just partially ribbing him at this point, because she could, but she couldn’t help but be extra inquisitive of him. Maybe this was just bad timing - Muriel had probably visited the shop several times before, but Asra was usually around to receive him while she had been too self-involved to pay attention. Huh; a harsh realization on her part.

She could have teased him about visiting her, but he didn’t need that. She doubted her level of agoraphobia was anywhere near his, but she knew how hard it must have been to come here.

At first, one would assume that she hadn’t been hurt, but she could already tell by her bloody nose that she had been hurt far more than she was letting on. She had seen her head hit the floor as well as she fell, so it was a small miracle that she hadn’t been knocked unconscious by the fall. 

“No, it didn’t,” Nadia said. She reaches out to grasp her hand, hoping that she would be able to pull herself up, even if she needed her help. “I am having some difficulty believing that that was intentional, and if you wouldn’t mind I think we should make sure that no further damage has been done. Can you sit up at all?” 

“Just because you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it’s not true.” In this case she was full of utter bullshit, of course, but far be it from her to leave a dead horse un-beaten. She cringed when Nadia tried to help lift her. “No, hon, I’m too heavy I’ll just end up sending us both to the ground.” And yet her support did manage to help get her into a sitting position - without the cold marble floor underneath her, the pain felt that much more pronounced. 

Julian’s chest seemed to cave into itself for a moment as Ryn pressed her finger against him, before he was arching toward the touch, just slightly, reacting to every single movement, caress, kiss. His cheeks were heated with color as she spoke though, the compliments, the reassurance that he could ask to be offered moments like this if he needed serving to make the man’s heart swell inside his chest.

“Mhmm, feels wonderful.” His eyes had fallen closed as he was touched and pet lovingly, his smile relaxed and blissful, even if he tensed or jumped just so when a caress would bring a jolt of pleasure or send a shiver down his spine and had him rolling his shoulders. 

Of course Julian would have gone further with it all if he was allowed, he would have loved to have Ryn take charge some more, to command him and order him around, or hurt him if she wanted to, but he wasn’t going to push it. That was not what he was craving from this, even if he craved it; what they were playing with and what he wanted was to have him forget he had to do anything, make any decision, and instead let Ryn take over for him. “Anything you want, my love. Anything…” If eating bread and lounging all day on the couch with him pliant in her lap was what his lover wanted, it was what Julian wanted too. “You… just being with you, that is enough…” 

Did he want it to feel wonderful - at least, the kind of wonderful that could be achieved by plain old simple touch? He wouldn’t want her to be agonizing over this, she knew that, but that was just her. The thought made her chuckle, at the very least. “I planned for more, I swear,” she found herself telling him, running a finger down his arm. “I had everything I was gonna do mentally laid out, all down to the exact amount of time you’d do it for - a lot of it was silly, really, but still.”

@magicfordummies | x. 

“Ryn! Are you alright?” she asks, almost running up to her out of concern for her well being. She had seen the spell backfire, and after having waited until she was certain that it was safe, she went to check on the magician, who was now lying on the floor. “You are not hurt, are you?”

All things considered - her lying on the floor, body sore, the sticky wetness around her nostils and above her lip probably a bloody nose - this wasn’t the worst way a spell had ever backfired (the last time had knocked her unconscious, after all). What was a problem was that she’d done it in front of an audience this time - a woman she’d been sorely trying to impress.

@magicfordummies | x. 

As he approached the shop, he noticed that she seemed to be doing something to the door. It piqued his interest, and he couldn’t help but wonder what she was doing. “… what are you doing?” he asks slowly.

Boredom and loneliness had pushed Ryn into such a restless state that she was actually performing hard labor. Anyone else would call something as relatively simple as just slapping some paint on the door something “fun”, or even a relaxing past time, but not her. So why did she have yet to give up after the first hour of running a paint-soaked brush up and down the wood? Hell if she knew.

@magicfordummies | x. 

Caspian had just been minding his business when he sees her walking into the tavern. He immediately recognises her, and remembered the conversation the two of them had had the last time they had met. He didn’t want to make a scene however, and for now he decides to be civil, if only because he doesn’t want to be tossed out of the tavern.

 “… fancy seeing you here,” he says awkwardly. “… want to sit down? I can… get you a drink if you want.”

In a sense, Ryn was glad to see a familiar face in the tavern tonight, not to mention one who was offering a drink. In a much truer sense, she would have preferred them not to be the man who saw the poison in her soul (or was it his bird and he just went along with it? Her memory of the event wasn’t all that reliable, considering it was clouded with anger). But she could keep playing nice. Maybe. All bets were off if she got drunk, though

lyric   starter   call   /   ACCEPTING @magicfordummies panic   !   at   the   disco   -   don’t   threaten   me   with   a   good   time

❝   i’m   a   scholar   &   a   gentleman   -   &   i   usually   don’t   fall   when   i   try   to   stand.   ❞

Julian turns to face her with a smile, gently returning the small show of affection by patting her hand. He continues forward, shrugging, humming lightly in response. His eyes are darting around, watching all the citizens of Vesuvia enjoy the warm weather the day provides, tending to their daily business. He’s just excited today, and can’t necessarily explain why. “I would be more than fine with that, darling, but I’d much rather have you here with me.” Another quick glance around at their surroundings, and his eyes are then back on Ryn. “I– hm. I don’t think I really need anything, but I think I might to take a look at Selasi’s tent. Asra’s always talking about him. Would you be okay with that?”

“I very well could,” the ginger is quick with a just-as-smug reply, laughing softly to himself. “But what fun is there for me in letting you get treated for free?” 

He was only teasing back, of course, but Julian felt it best to tone that down a little. After all, being drunk was already making him seem like an absolute bellend, flirting wouldn’t make it any better. But he just couldn’t help himself. He now stands with his hands in his pockets, raising a brow very promptingly. It wasn’t often you met someone as sure of themself as this stranger was being, and it was almost … refreshing … no, intriguing to hear that sort of confidence. 

Julian’s grin doesn’t fade, in fact, it only grows wider as he leans forward to show interest in that part of the conversation, prompting her with quirked brow. “Is that so? Am I in the presence of some famous songbird and I’m too drunk to recognize the face?”

“I think you’re confusing fun with profit. There’s a lot of fun in treating me for free - like literally being paid in jokes.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Not to mention it’d be the respectable thing - to undo the harm you personally did. But you don’t strike me as someone whose main concern is respectability.” She smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t get me wrong, though - that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

She felt so engaged, witty words sliding out of her mouth like hot butter - something that hadn’t been coming to her so easily as of late. Maybe she’d keep him around, at least for the night - if only to feel better about herself. “I could lie to you and say I am, but then you’d find out the truth the hard way.” She sighed dramatically, bracing her hand against the wall for added effect. “Nah nah, I’m just a talented nobody - but I love doling out recognition if it means I’ll get some in return.” She laughed - at herself, more than anything. “You know, I don’t usually sound this pretentious. Sometimes I do, but-- well, it’s been a while since I tried so hard to seem impressive.”