#hercourtesy

With Ryn, everything important was either taken all too seriously or dealt with by deflective humor - the latter most often, unless she was driven to anger. She’d had a crush on Nadia from the moment she began to treat her more as her than just the magician she needed, but it hadn’t really evolved beyond that until now. Now, when she decided to charm (or push away?) the unobtainable object of her affections with a nihilistic, depressing joke.

      The apology was an unexpected one now. He masks his surprise easily however. Raising a hand and waving it as if he’s dismissing the apology. A rather bold move for him to do.

      “There’s no need to worry about it. With everything going on, even I wasn’t certain if I myself had taken Lucios life that night. With the information that was known at the time, anyone would have assumed I had some part to play in his ‘DEATH’“ 

                                      LET PORTIA ROAST YOUR MUSE, COWARDS.

                       Portia     BLINKS.    How    does    she    go    about    this    without    losing    her    job?                 “Ah,    MILADY!      I    know    it’s    gonna    sound...    What’s    the    word?     Perhaps    too,    uh...    suck-uppy,    but    I    legitimately    can’t    think    of    anything    that    I    could    REALLY    say.    You    tend    to    be    a    bit...    Standoffish,    with    your    emotions,    not    really    say    much?    And    it    can    make    some    of    the    things    you    come    across    with    difficult    to    gauge.    EMOTIONS-WISE,    I    mean.”            Flush    spreads    over    her    cheeks.             “That’s    not    to    say    that’s    not    an    UNDERSTANDABLE    TRAIT!    It’s    just...     Something    I’ve    noticed.”             A    pause.            “You’re    also    almost    ethereal,    like...     Save    some    of     your    beauty    for    us!”

          ❝ — wait — is it — are you...  apologizing,  nadia ?  ❞  stunned, julian waffled. a sickening feeling had opened in his stomach. it swirled and churned and dragged his heart in tow. but he softened, slouching closer to her height, huddled over her like an adoring  COMPANION.  one they had been, what felt like a lifetime ago. ❝ there’s nothing to apologize for. why, i laid my own neck on the blade, nadi !  you were... only trying to  take care  of a very messy situation. we all were. ❞

                   Reaver had been at the game of manipulating royals for nearly a hundred years now, so to say that he knew what he was doing would be an understatement. Not only had he served as the right hand of nearly every single monarch of Albion in the past century, but he had essentially taken complete control over every single industrial venture. And because all of this was true, he was able to get a foot in the affairs of other countries; hence why he found himself in Vesuvia at that moment.

The weight of a nebulous fate pressed her down and filled the air in the room with its thick feeling. All around them, marching at the slow pace of the clocks and ignoring their attempt of taking refuge against it. Her bodies, one next to the others felt similar to what a lighthouse is upon the upcoming storm. A safe house, a sanctuary. But one that even while fulfilling its function of guarding the few energies that she had left still it wasn’t enough to ignore the sensation that something was going to happen. That Lucio, and whatever he was planning to do, was going to happen. And for someone who usually took pride in her optimism, it was a whole new concept this of feeling as if nothing would be enough to protect what they had against the merciless thunders. And that at some point, at any moment from now on, the roof would give in, and they would have to fight once more to ensure any bit of safety that they could.

She wasn’t quite sure of why she had picked the words that she had said, especially since they felt like the product of some sort of trance. Of someone who wasn’t her and was her all at the same time taking over her body and revealing a truth she hadn’t reached just yet. But it was when she started to talk. When she heard Nadia’s voice softly reaching her that she began to look back their story to this point, all those precious moments that changed her life as it was and that suddenly felt… incomplete. Lacking something, lacking a single and decisive picture that now felt that she owed to her. To them, but also, to herself.

And it was time to start putting those words in the place that they deserve.

“Why were we that afraid to say what we wanted to say from such a long time ago?” It’s her response when her face gets the chance to rest against her palm. With eyes that laugh but also hold a hint of something close to regret or guilt. “You have felt it too, isn’t it?”

What she means is not clear yet, but she sits over the bed and turns to her trying to organize every single one of the elusive thoughts in her head, feeling, or rather, knowing there’s too much to address but fearing to fall once more in that neverending cycle of avoiding the three words that she had been reserving for her from some time now.

But not anymore. No, not anymore, she says to herself. And so, she continues.

“You mean the world to me as well, you do. But not only those words have fallen short for what I feel, but I’m also afraid, as you said, that something is going to happen that could separate our paths when that’s the last thing that I want. And it’s not only what is happening now, but it’s also…” And she has to stop for a moment, impressed at how her heart weights in her own chest. “-it’s everything. It’s the power of these feelings that I have for you and that I haven’t had for no one else, and that suddenly scares me to death because I have someone- I have… found the someone to who my heart belongs while also finding the terrible possibility of it ending, for any sort of reason that it might be. It’s crazy, isn’t it? I’m as happy as I’m scared, and I feel as powerful as I feel weak, and it’s all because of you. And it’s all because… I love you, Nadia. I’ve had for long, and even for longer than we have met. I love you and I want you to know that, now and forever, and no matter what happens.”

A tear escapes the corner of her eye and she quickly tries to wipe it off with the back of her hand.

“And I guess I also apologize for having to wait until your cotton-tailed ex-husband appeared to swear revenge upon the last three birthday parties that he missed to tell you all that I should have told you from the start. I mean I can apologize, and I humbly offer to apologize through the three thousand kisses that I’ve wished to give you but- of course, that’s up to you.”