Maggie:b

And it's not because Rurik did something bad to them, he would never wish to actually harm them

It's his anger, his size, and his loud voice, he's an intimidating person, especially because of Rurik's freak outs due to his ptsd/cptsd. It's frightening to witness and to hear

Sometimes with Rurik things are good, then the next day it's bad

And it's not like Rurik means to be like that, he doesn't even know he scares his kids in a way where they have their own anxiety about him until they're 100% he's in a good mood, and they would never tell him they fear him, they're afraid that might hurt his feelings/make him mad.

Rurik wants to be the soul comforter, someone they can easily go to when they're frightened or mad or stressed, he wants to be the person he never had growing up, but it's hard to do that when you're mentally still mentally on the battlefield- in those moments he's not good with comfort, he needs his own comfort

Like erm for example:

Rurik is up during a thunderstorm, the loud blast shakes the whole house, he feels a sense of fear, danger, like something or someone is coming for him personally, like a bomb is gonna suddenly hit his house, or a bullet is gonna go straight through the window and through his skull. He's entirely in fight or flight. And suddenly this whining loud little kid comes down crying how the thunder scares them, scaring the shit out of Rurik thinking he was about to get ambushed. Why would he care about comforting the kid when he's high-key having his own panic attack right now, y'know what I mean? Plus, he still feels like he's in danger, and now his own kid is down there too, now he feels like his kid is in danger, and the kid is refusing to leave. So he snaps back at them, that it's just some thunder and to go back to their room. Because in his mind they're both in danger now, the kid needs to go away and hide, and that now isn't the time for comfort. That could totally scare the kid, already being afraid, and then your father yells at you to go back to your room and to stop crying, it's frightening seeing someone who is usually so loving and comforting to you become hostile with you... Like do you guys get where I'm coming from?

Rurik is his own bomb, and when he's in that moment it's hard for him to sympathize with who he's with

Again, that doesn't mean he doesn't love his kids, despite his ptsd/cptsd he is an amazing father and whatnot, but he's definitely got issues that could seem irrational in a child's mind

As for his kids, they aren't TERRIFIED of him, they know Rurik would never hurt them, they just don't like when Rurik is "mad at them" when really he isn't mad at them, he's upset about the situation and subconsciously acts on his fear aggressively... But he doesn't mean to lash out at them, he really loves them, but y'know- unhealed wounds...

I'm gonna make twenty THOUSAND more Lotus designs and never touch the others

Ignore the spelling errors, I didn't know if Lotus's blades should be on his hip or his back sooooo idk

Anyway, mayhaps Lotus and Rurik were both once apart of the dark brotherhood as kids/teens

But Rurik didn't like being so malicious and merciless, especially after being orderd to murder the innocent/someone younger than him ... OR (because it's a dangerous job) his father figure was killed while trying to assassinate someone, or died getting Rurik out of trouble, and had a better realization of what exactly he was doing and became guilty (to be fair he was groomed to be there) and left, becoming part of the thieves guild (they just steal, but they're against killing, yay for Rurik)

Dante is also in the thieves guild, but his morals are very... Iffy, he isn't against killing, and will do it just to make the job easier despite it being frowned upon. But he doesn't get in too much trouble, he's too valuable to the guild (this is while the guild is struggling with money, so pre-dragonborn) his one of the best potion makers, best scammer, best con artist, and he's scarily sneaky. He's basically needed there, so although Dante has blood on his hands nobody can really do much about it