mad dumb

how to do things that everyone else seems to do no problem

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

kids these days don't know what it felt like to be bisexual and wear a stupid as fuck hawaiian shirt in 2017

i dont give a FUCK any more man this has gone TOO far i'm deleting ALL the exclamation points from my work emails. that's right. i hope you have a good weekend. and no more than that

TRAGEDY: every member of a once-flourishing group chat is now employed

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

just watched an interview with james ortiz (rocky’s puppeteer) where he’s like “they were torturing ryan gosling for this movie. it was killing him. he was developing isolation sickness in real life from being the only actor on set for 6 months. i needed to be there for him even when rocky wasn’t in frame to serve as his guiding light and the sole thread tethering him to the concept of love. i was kneeling at the altar” and what

and then in ryan goslings interviews he’s like “i was struggling in the depths of hell. until a beautiful puppeteer angel lifted me up out of the darkness and saved me so completely and understood the character so well we had to make him play the role for real”

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

to the untrained eye, it may seem like i’m about to fucking kill myself. however,