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More tears fell against Spencer’s phone’s screen as Madison assured Mason that Spencer and she loved him, and he couldn’t stop feeling this weird energy in him. He just wanted to go home. He had to accept it, and he didn’t want to argue anyhow. He didn’t – He had just gotten out of arguing with his ex. 

Why was this so… confusing? 

He had so many questions. Were they a couple now? What were they going to do about the kids? Marriage? Mason looked up and wiped his eyes before taking the child from Spencer’s arms and then placing her back into Madison’s arms. He then motioned for Spencer to kneel down, where Mason reached out and gripped Spencer’s shirt.

“Mase,” Spener said slowly, not looking away from him. “I love your sister THe only reason I didn’t already ask her is because we’d want you to be at any wedding there was. Which–okay, I mean–I would want that. You’re my best friend, and the person I love more than anything, except–well I guess except the girls.” Spencer smiled a little, but he contineud speaking, unwilling to let his eyes drift over to his babies for even a second, because he knew he’d be completely lost to Mason then. He’d just gotten him back.

He’d just gotten him back once before, and then everything had gone to shit.

He wasn’t about to let that happen again.

“What if the men I want to sleep with aren’t men? Wat if they’re just…man?” Spencer did glance over at Madison then, but only for a second, before looking back at Mason. “She wasn’t kidding, Mase. I’ve loved you since I was fourteen, and just ‘cause this–happened–doesn’t mean that’s not still the case. And i know everyting’s weird and–just, yeah, weird, but–I’m not interested in hurting my daughters, in hurting Madison, or hurting you.” Spencer esitated for just a seocnd, then reahed up to wipe away Mason’s tears. “But I don’t want to marry anybody right now. I just–” Spencer swallowed thickly and knitted his brow a little, trying to explain. “We–I–thought you were dead. I thought I was never, ever going to get to talk to you again–or at least, that you were never going to talk back to me. And now you are and I don’t even care if you hate me for the rest of your life brecause at least you’ll be alive to do that. So just–I don’t care, Mason. Be pissed, be confused, be whatever, just–” Spencer looked at Madison, helpless, then back to Mason, “Just please, don’t ever think I stopped loving you for even one second.” 

God, Spencer wanted to kiss him.

It was just what people did after declarations of love.

But everything was so much, and he didn’t want to shock Mason back into the coma.

“Cool. I– Nice names.” He stopped himself from commenting that neither of them even had any resemblance to himself. He wanted to meet his sister again, but he didn’t want any of this. Absolutely not. He felt alienated. Practically terrified of the world that he was in right now. It was confusing. He felt out of breath and he just moved the chair away from Madison. Maybe this was too soon. 

“I should go and leave you two to the babies.” He really had no idea why Spencer was really like loving the children this intensely, and it made Mason narrow his eyes at his best friend. Weren’t they supposed to go out together? Of course that was way before all of this, but was Spencer taking care of Madison– that had to be the only reason why. It took about two quick looks around at the children and around the room before Mason just started crying out of frustration, tears pouring out of his eyes in shock.

Spencer took a deep breath and slid his hand through Madison’s, though he made sure that he kept a tight grip on the baby in his arm. “Because your sister just had my kids?” It came out like a question, because frankly Spencer wasn’t entirely convinced that his was lieke, real life, and he wouldn’t wake up and it’d be ten months ago and everything would be the worst. EVerything was still the worst, but now there were babies and Mason was back–if looking very very alarmed.

“And–I’m–I’m sorry,” Spencer said, helpless. “I didn’t–I can still go. I can–and you two can–I’m sorry,” he repeated, looking down at Natalie. “I’m glad you can meet them. I wasn’t sure you ever would. But–it’s–we’ve had months to adjust to everything.” He glanced up at Madison, shared a small smile. “And I know it–it know it doesn’t make sense and I’m so sorry.”

Spencer took a deep breath and refocused at the wall for a minute, wlling his heart to stop jack-knifing against his throat. Calm the fuck down.

“But–um. This is–a lot, at once, so um–I mean–we have time. For everything.” We have time for you to hate me. We have time for you to never want to speak to me. We have time for the girls to grow up without you, becasue you can’t be around them without hating us even more. We have time for–maybe–you to forgive us.

The way she’d stayed at his bedside with the same ones, willing him to wake up, or at least to hear her when she told him everything. She’d told him everything already, after all. It just hadn’t processed. 

“Mase?” Mason was asleep in his seat, which–he didn’t blame him, and he almost felt bad for waking him, but then he couldn’t help but smile as Mason looked at him. God, he’d missed his eyes. God he’d miss him.

“Okay. I guess.” He moved to look at the nurse, who had been looking at her email and didn’t even notice or care that Mason had been asleep. She wheeled him into the room where Madison was holding one of the daughters. Wait. Two? 

Why was Spencer even holding one? He just looked at his sister dumbfound-ly and put his hands in his lap as he was parked up against the bed they had moved her in.  “Hi,” Mason said quietly, moving down to pick up the phone and look back at his twitter feed. 

But he hadn’t. He’d missed the whole thing. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him, to wake up to a world where everything was different, where there were people in his family who didn’t exist when he was last conscious. 

He was a father.

Madison was a mother.

They had a baby. Two babies! Two little girls. Two perfect, wonderful little girls. He had no idea how to be af ather, how to be a dad, how to be an adult, but none of that mattered. He had two little girls, that were his, his and Madison’s both.

“Holy shit,” Spencer said weakly, sitting in the chair one of the nurses proveded for him. He sit heavily, but not so heavily so as to disturb the perfect little being in his arms.

“We–Mads. We’re–they’re here.” Spencer looked up at her and smiled, dazed. “Mason’s–outside. He–he asked about the father–I just told him it wasn’t Ryder. Can–can he come in? Can he meet them?”

She had babies. Her brother was alive. And awake. 

Everything was completely different to what it was yesterday. To what it was even this morning. 

As he looked up after ten minutes, Mason let out a relieved sigh because at least he could see Madison.  The nurse moved him and undid everything she had to and helped him slowly. The vertigo of actually getting up fully and then plopped down into the wheel chair made the twin feel sick and he closed his eyes for a brief second. 

“I don’t want to see the kids born,” he muttered to himself. He didn’t want to meet people he didn’t even get to see develop or anything like that. It concerned him. Was this something he already knew about? Mason was just so confused. After a few minutes, the nurse, Mason and Spencer were off to go towards the maternity ward. 

“No, it’s not Ryder’s,” Spencer said finally, walking them into the elevator. “I don’t–I should let Madison say more than that, but it’s not Ryder’s. And–and the dad’s been involved, y’know? He’s not a scumbag.”

By this point, they were at Madison’s room, and Spencer parked Mason’s wheelchair and stepped around him, kneeling in front of him. “They–the nurses won’t let you be in the room, and–and I don’t tink you’d want to see her like this anyway? So um–” Spencer pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it,fiddled with it for a moment or two (changing the background and lock pictures, and hiding all the nudes of Madison he could find, although Mason didn’t need to know that), then opened up the internet and handed it over to him.

It was like he knew. 

He helped her through it; coaching her the way that they’d practiced. All the practice in the world couldn’t prepare her for this, though; there was no way she could have imagined what this would have been like. 

But she did it. They did it. 

The sound of soft blinking was what Mason woke up to, his eyes blinked  sleepily and tried to sit up. The machine on his finger made him disoriented. Blinking lights, white halls with windows. He was in the hospital. Hospital? Did that make sense? Groaning, he tried to make sense of what was going on. How long had he been here? Everything was so fuzzy, especially the whole ‘getting here’. Coughing, he looked around for some water to see if he could try and hydrate himself.

“Uhm, hello?” Mason asked, trying to speak loudly. Wait, hospitals usually had nurses to monitor them, right? He looked around to press the button that he found before taking in a deep breath as someone replied with a shocking ‘You’re awake! Oh thank goodness, I’ll get a doctor in right away’. Nothing made sense, honestly. What was going on? What happened?

When the nurse came in and got him water, Mason yawned and went to rest his head back against his hospital bed’s pillow. The doctor came in and asked him a bit of questions, some questions Mason didn’t have the answer for. He didn’t even know the date. He assumed it was still October.

July. How was it July?

Why weren’t things making sense?

After two hours of the doctor telling him things, they talked about Spencer and Madison and how they were both still at the hospital right now. Mason’s head was spinning. “Are they okay? Oh my god, please say they’re okay.” Had they all gotten in a crash together, or something like that?

“Your sister’s in labor and probably about to be a mother,” the doctor replied, realizing the fact that both the sister and Spencer visiting almost daily meant that they at least were close with Mason, but this fact only made Mason’s head spin harder. How did any of that make sense. When did Madison get pregnant?

Groaning, Mason mumbled something about wanting to go back to sleep and if Spencer was around if he could go get him. The doctor said he’d get a nurse to go tell him that Mason was awake, but he might be too busy.

Things were far too confusing. All he had remembered the last thing was Chase.

“Mister Porter? May we speak to you in the all?” Spencer kissd her temple and ignored Madison’s plaintive requests for him to stay, then stepped out of the birthing suite. 

“What’s wrog? Is everying okay? With Madiso, with–”

“Mason.” The nurse said. Spencer’s heart stopped.

Mason had finally taken a turn for the worst.

Why was this happening all at once. He felt dizzy. Madison was going to lose her brother the day they gained children–nothing was fair.

IT was all karmic punishment for sleeping with Madison.

He’d hoped taht while Mason was asleep he could have forgiven him, but maybe not. Maybe this was Mason’s last psychic hit. Maybe they deserved this.

Just as Spencer leaned on the wall, prepared to sit his head beneath his legs, the nurse continued, “He’s awake.”

Spencer’s heart stuttered back to life. “He’s–he’s what?”

The nurse grinned. “Mason is responsive. Mental acuity is within normal ranges. Would you like to tell Madison, or see him yourself, or–”

Spencer moved back into Madison’s room without a word. “Babe! Madison! Mads! He’s awake!” Spencer could feel the grin splitting his face. He shouldered a nurse aside and moved to her side, one hand taking hers and lacing it over her stomach, the other on the top of her bed.

“What?” she asked, almost snapping, frustrated that the father of her children couldn’t just stay put and do what he was supposed to. “Who’s --” 

Mason. He’d said Mason was awake. “Well, I’m kinda busy --” she started, and winced as another sharp pain tore through her, and she gripped Spencer’s hand tight to ride it out. 

They’d never even told Mason. Not consciously. She’d confessed everything at his bedside one night, somewhere between their birthday and Christmas; something about that time of year made everything harder and stranger and the only way she could have borne it was by telling him. There was no guarantee that he’d heard. 

“We’re not going to lose him. Not like this, not ever. He’s tough as nails, you know that. And so are you, Madison. You’re Madison McCarthy. You can do this.” Spencer hesitated for a second, then lifted his hand and wiped her tears away. “We can do this, Mads. I promise, okay? Crying won’t do a damn bit of good for anybody.”

Stupid hormones.

like he was dead.

Spencer rested his hands on Madison’s chair, eyes wide. Suddenly the pain of his heart and his hand and his mind seemed–so much dust in the wind, when Mason was looking dead in front of them.

“Shit, Mads,” he breathed. “Shit, Mace.” He opened his mouth to say more, but he couldn’t, couldn’t get out what he needed to, not with Madison there. “It’s–if it was–really really bad, they’d–he’d be in surgery or something,” Spencer reasoned slowly. “He wouldn’t just be here. He’s okay. He’ll be okay.”

He had to be.

He had to be.

He didn’t even know that Madison was…

They hadn’t even gotten to be together yet.

He had to be okay.

It didn’t feel like enough. The fact that there even were machines ... 

When she let out her next breath, it caught in her throat and pulled a sob from her, the dam finally breaking as she let go. All the emotion spilled out of her, in gross tears and loud sobs, in shaking breaths and hands that tried to make fists, as though there were anything to punch and fix this. 

Mentally, he was doing one of the exercises the doctor had taught him to keep cool; he had expected a little more recovery time after his isolation, but life didn’t pause for anything–least of all where the McCarthys were concerned.

Spencer slid his arm around Madison’s shoulddres as they walked to the big double doors. “Relax, babe,” Spencer murmured, squeezing her shoulder gently. He’d understood what the nurse said, but like Madison, it wouldn’t sink in until he saw Mason–but he was worried that Madison would have a breakdown, which meant the avbsolutely could not, so he was preparing himself fro the worst:

Mason might not wake up.

Mason might be beat to a pulp.

Mason might be like Rachel and not remember any of the people he loved.

Mason might not wake u.

It still didn’t prepare her for the sight of Mason lying there, bandaged and bruised with cuts across his face and an IV in his arm, motionless. The monitors chirped in the background, indicating that he was at least alive, but it was still too much. Anything would have been too much. Gingerly, she sat at the chair by his bedside, unsure whether she could reach for him, whether he would hear her. “Mace?” 

Nothing.

Something something unresponsive something comatose. 

But Spencer was right, and the file was right there. Madison heard the words, the explanation of Mason’s condition, but something about it didn’t quite register. It probably wouldn’t register until she saw him. I need to see him, she repeated, trying not to sound desperate.