where did the party go

Spencer talked about him leaving and going to his own apartment and Mason shook his head adamantly. “No, no, Spence. Seriously. It’s fine,” he commented, taking in a deep breath as he tried to center his thoughts. “I want you to stay here with Mads and the kids, honestly. You’re their dad, Spence. You need to be in their life.” There was another pause as he digested the sentence he just said out loud. 

“Maybe I could stay in your apartment though? I  could stay here but Lord knows I don’t want to help our with these babies and I’d be in my room for forever and that wouldn’t help. I just don’t want things to be too much at once.”

There was a thought about how the Doctor told him that it was best to try and go back to his regular schedule, but God knew he probably lost his role on Broadway. God, what if this ruined his career? He wasn’t really sure if he could do Broadway anymore.

“You’ll have to get Mads’ okay,” Spencer said with a chuckle, “’cause I don’t want to get in trouble. But...” Spencer smiled a little and shrugged one shoulder. “I’m okay with it, if you think that’d be better for you.” Spencer paused, then added, “Not that--we want you to like...be a stranger or anything.”

Spencer looked back down at his fingers; he had been doing so many things lately it felt weird to just be sitting there, but he knew that if he hovered Mason would probably punch him in the face. “If you can’t get back, maybe you could try school,” Spencer ventured thoughtfully. He’d dropped his own classes after Mason got hurt--between that and Madison it had all been too much--but he still wanted to pick it back up, and he knew for a fact that Mason was too smart to do nothing forever. “Or try some community theatre.” Less rigorous than Broadway, but still what he loved--there had to be compromise somewhere, didn’t there? There had to be a way to make everything go a little bit back to normal.

Spencer fucking his sister and creating literal babies with her also didn’t help the situation. He pulled himself out of the wheelchair and stretched his body- popping his back as he did so with a grunt. It’d been a week since he pulled out of the coma, and he was glad to be home back in his apartment, but he also felt like this really wasn’t his apartment anymore. 

Everything was so… foreign.

As he finally got onto his feet, he walked around to look into his room, before shutting it behind him and taking a deep breath as his back pressed against the door so he could just settle into his area. Then his eyes flashed to the vogue-related things in his room. He picked up the multiple pieces of clothes and balled them up into his arms and stepped out to find the trashcan in the kitchen and throw them all in there. 

“So, what’s the next move for you two?” Mason asked, completely ignoring Spencer’s questions. “Getting a house?” He hated that he was so fixiated on this whole Spencer and Madison ordeal but it scared him. It mae him confused and feel even worse.

But everything healed with time, and the Doctor even let him know that. 

“Uh,” Spencer said, shrugging one shoulder. “I dunno,” he said truthfully, moving to sit in one of the armchairs in the living room. “Maybe when the girls get a little older. Right now I guess the next move is making sure Mads and the babies and you are okay. Adjusting and everything. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

Not entirely true, but true enough for Spencer to not feel guilty about it. He’d had thoughts, secret dumb ideas about things like that--buying a house, having the picket fence life he’d been fighting against since he could remember--but they were just dreams, and he was pretty sure that that sort of thing wasn’t ever going to be his reality. And he didn’t mind, not really; his reality had Mason in it, after all.

Spencer was right. At least he was alive. “I’m going to need some time,” Mason admitted, quietly, still brushing his hands against the wheels of the wheel chair. Nothing made sense and he was just really overwhelmed. “But.. I.. I trust you two. You lasted eight or nine months without me. You can survive more if I need space, but right now I just want to go back to sleep. Is that okay?” Mason asked quietly, still having Spencer’s phone. He’d keep it with him and see where his actual phone was later.

Spencer left the room intent on finding a nurse, but first--coffee. He wanted to give the twins some time alone; like Mason had said, he just wanted to see Madi.

God, his head was spinning. It was too much for one day, it was too much for one person, he didn’t even know what to think about first. His children? His girlfriend? His boyfriend?

When had his life gotten so damn complicated?

His children would have to be first priority--Mason was right about that. They were the most important things, ever, and next to tem, all petty relationship drama just didn’t even compare. No matter what, Spencer had to make sure his daughters would be okay.

And that meant making sure madison was okay. He’d been ding some pretty terrifying research into what a woman could expect after childbirth, and he was reasonably prepared for all of it.

What he hadn’t been ready for was Mason waking up. He really ad thought that that was--that it was forever.

But it wasn’t.

Spencer felt like he’d been given a gift he in no way deserved, and he was so worried he’d already managed to ruin it.

What if needing space ended up with so much space they were strangers? In the beginning, Spencer head read that people would wake from comas  rather different people. Spencer ddn’t want that--he wanted the boy he’d loved for his whole life. He wanted Mason to be okay.

Spencer finished his coffe and threw away the cup. He could do this. Everything was manageable--especially with Madison. He could be a father, a boyfriend, a--whatever else e was. He could, because he had to be.

The way she’d stayed at his bedside with the same ones, willing him to wake up, or at least to hear her when she told him everything. She’d told him everything already, after all. It just hadn’t processed. 

More tears fell against Spencer’s phone’s screen as Madison assured Mason that Spencer and she loved him, and he couldn’t stop feeling this weird energy in him. He just wanted to go home. He had to accept it, and he didn’t want to argue anyhow. He didn’t – He had just gotten out of arguing with his ex. 

Why was this so… confusing? 

He had so many questions. Were they a couple now? What were they going to do about the kids? Marriage? Mason looked up and wiped his eyes before taking the child from Spencer’s arms and then placing her back into Madison’s arms. He then motioned for Spencer to kneel down, where Mason reached out and gripped Spencer’s shirt.

“Mase,” Spener said slowly, not looking away from him. “I love your sister THe only reason I didn’t already ask her is because we’d want you to be at any wedding there was. Which--okay, I mean--I would want that. You’re my best friend, and the person I love more than anything, except--well I guess except the girls.” Spencer smiled a little, but he contineud speaking, unwilling to let his eyes drift over to his babies for even a second, because he knew he’d be completely lost to Mason then. He’d just gotten him back.

He’d just gotten him back once before, and then everything had gone to shit.

He wasn’t about to let that happen again.

“What if the men I want to sleep with aren’t men? Wat if they’re just...man?” Spencer did glance over at Madison then, but only for a second, before looking back at Mason. “She wasn’t kidding, Mase. I’ve loved you since I was fourteen, and just ‘cause this--happened--doesn’t mean that’s not still the case. And i know everyting’s weird and--just, yeah, weird, but--I’m not interested in hurting my daughters, in hurting Madison, or hurting you.” Spencer esitated for just a seocnd, then reahed up to wipe away Mason’s tears. “But I don’t want to marry anybody right now. I just--” Spencer swallowed thickly and knitted his brow a little, trying to explain. “We--I--thought you were dead. I thought I was never, ever going to get to talk to you again--or at least, that you were never going to talk back to me. And now you are and I don’t even care if you hate me for the rest of your life brecause at least you’ll be alive to do that. So just--I don’t care, Mason. Be pissed, be confused, be whatever, just--” Spencer looked at Madison, helpless, then back to Mason, “Just please, don’t ever think I stopped loving you for even one second.” 

God, Spencer wanted to kiss him.

It was just what people did after declarations of love.

But everything was so much, and he didn’t want to shock Mason back into the coma.

“Cool. I– Nice names.” He stopped himself from commenting that neither of them even had any resemblance to himself. He wanted to meet his sister again, but he didn’t want any of this. Absolutely not. He felt alienated. Practically terrified of the world that he was in right now. It was confusing. He felt out of breath and he just moved the chair away from Madison. Maybe this was too soon. 

“I should go and leave you two to the babies.” He really had no idea why Spencer was really like loving the children this intensely, and it made Mason narrow his eyes at his best friend. Weren’t they supposed to go out together? Of course that was way before all of this, but was Spencer taking care of Madison– that had to be the only reason why. It took about two quick looks around at the children and around the room before Mason just started crying out of frustration, tears pouring out of his eyes in shock.

Spencer took a deep breath and slid his hand through Madison’s, though he made sure that he kept a tight grip on the baby in his arm. “Because your sister just had my kids?” It came out like a question, because frankly Spencer wasn’t entirely convinced that his was lieke, real life, and he wouldn’t wake up and it’d be ten months ago and everything would be the worst. EVerything was still the worst, but now there were babies and Mason was back--if looking very very alarmed.

“And--I’m--I’m sorry,” Spencer said, helpless. “I didn’t--I can still go. I can--and you two can--I’m sorry,” he repeated, looking down at Natalie. “I’m glad you can meet them. I wasn’t sure you ever would. But--it’s--we’ve had months to adjust to everything.” He glanced up at Madison, shared a small smile. “And I know it--it know it doesn’t make sense and I’m so sorry.”

Spencer took a deep breath and refocused at the wall for a minute, wlling his heart to stop jack-knifing against his throat. Calm the fuck down.

“But--um. This is--a lot, at once, so um--I mean--we have time. For everything.” We have time for you to hate me. We have time for you to never want to speak to me. We have time for the girls to grow up without you, becasue you can’t be around them without hating us even more. We have time for--maybe--you to forgive us.

She had babies. Her brother was alive. And awake. 

Everything was completely different to what it was yesterday. To what it was even this morning. 

“Mase?” Mason was asleep in his seat, which--he didn’t blame him, and he almost felt bad for waking him, but then he couldn’t help but smile as Mason looked at him. God, he’d missed his eyes. God he’d miss him.

It was like he knew. 

He helped her through it; coaching her the way that they’d practiced. All the practice in the world couldn’t prepare her for this, though; there was no way she could have imagined what this would have been like. 

But she did it. They did it. 

He was a father.

Madison was a mother.

They had a baby. Two babies! Two little girls. Two perfect, wonderful little girls. He had no idea how to be af ather, how to be a dad, how to be an adult, but none of that mattered. He had two little girls, that were his, his and Madison’s both.

“Holy shit,” Spencer said weakly, sitting in the chair one of the nurses proveded for him. He sit heavily, but not so heavily so as to disturb the perfect little being in his arms.

“We--Mads. We’re--they’re here.” Spencer looked up at her and smiled, dazed. “Mason’s--outside. He--he asked about the father--I just told him it wasn’t Ryder. Can--can he come in? Can he meet them?”

As he looked up after ten minutes, Mason let out a relieved sigh because at least he could see Madison.  The nurse moved him and undid everything she had to and helped him slowly. The vertigo of actually getting up fully and then plopped down into the wheel chair made the twin feel sick and he closed his eyes for a brief second. 

“I don’t want to see the kids born,” he muttered to himself. He didn’t want to meet people he didn’t even get to see develop or anything like that. It concerned him. Was this something he already knew about? Mason was just so confused. After a few minutes, the nurse, Mason and Spencer were off to go towards the maternity ward. 

“No, it’s not Ryder’s,” Spencer said finally, walking them into the elevator. “I don’t--I should let Madison say more than that, but it’s not Ryder’s. And--and the dad’s been involved, y’know? He’s not a scumbag.”

By this point, they were at Madison’s room, and Spencer parked Mason’s wheelchair and stepped around him, kneeling in front of him. “They--the nurses won’t let you be in the room, and--and I don’t tink you’d want to see her like this anyway? So um--” Spencer pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it,fiddled with it for a moment or two (changing the background and lock pictures, and hiding all the nudes of Madison he could find, although Mason didn’t need to know that), then opened up the internet and handed it over to him.

“Madison’s okay. Madison’s great. I mean, okay, not great, what with the bab thing and all, but–god, Mason, are you–are you okay? I can’t believe–I can’t believe you’re awake.” Spencer sat down heavily in the chair near his bed, face dazed and open.

“I can’t–I thought-I’m–so glad you’re back,” Spencer said, slowly tipping his fingers to Mason’s, just the tips of their fingers touching. “are hou–um, how do you feel?”

Spencer had thoguht Mason was dead.

And now he had to explain that not only was his sister in labor, that labor was to produce his children.

The twin looked back at his ex and nodded. “Yeah, I missed you guys too,” he said nonchalantly. This was so confusing though, he really didn’t know how to process all of this. “Get me out of this hospital, Spencer. I swear, I– This isn’t..” Mason looked at his hand which was shaking a little bit. Coming out of the coma made him feel so different. “I missed a chunk of my life. I feel like.. I died and I’m a different person. I know you, and I know my sister, I know who people are, but things feel… foreign.” Mason paused and then ripped his blankets away so that he could get up. 

“Take me to my sister. I don’t care what anyone wants me to do. I want to see, Madison. If you try and stop me, I’ll shove my IV bag at you and rip this out of my arm and just go find her myself.” The second he said that, a nurse passed by and noticed Mason, who then was trying to get him to go back into bed as he fumbled with the wires and tubes connected to him. 

“I just want to see her!” How different would his sister look? He missed their birthday! It made him feel so sick and uncomfortable and worried. 

Spencer let out a shaky breath and looked around. “I’ll go talk to an nurse. Hold tight. Don’t rip anything out, okay? I’ll be right back.” Spencer leaned forward and kissed Mason’s forehead before taking off out of the room, nearly tripping over his own feet as he did so.

Ten minutes later, he returned with two disgruntled nurses in tow, one pushing a wheelchair and one holding a movable IV stand.