MadamCoheed

Separated by character, based on the preview.

STARFIRE:

1. Starfire is quite literally orange. I have no problem with the actress, or that she is black. But Starfire is an orange alien princess/queen.

2. Is said alien seeking refuge by disguising herself as an escort? Yeah, Starfire has had some skimpy stuff in comics past, but a skintight purple leather mini-dress and fur coat is highly unnecessary, despite how "edgy" the show will be.

3. LASER BEAMS. ENERGY LASER BEAMS. JUST BECAUSE FIRE IS IN HER NAME DOES NOT MEAN SHE HAS FIRE ABILITIES. IF YOU WANNA DO FIRE, LET IT BE GREEN.

ROBIN:

1. Robin is said to be Dick Grayson, but also seems like Jason Todd? Dick Todd? Jason Grayson?

2. Dick is a detective and old enough to be Nightwing by this point?

3. I don't care what excuses you have, what detective can drive around in the middle of the night with a young teenage girl without morality being questioned?

4. "F' Batman". Hi, my name is Jason Grayson, and you're watching Edge Channel.

RAVEN:

1. Her wig is terrible.

2. "Sometimes when I touch the darkness, it feels... good." 14 year olds should not say things that suggestively.

3. THE ACTRESS JUST TURNED 14 IN APRIL. 2004. 14. RAVEN?????????

BONUS ROUND: mildly romantic subplot hinted between 14 yr old and grown ass detective????

BEAST BOY:

1. My boy Garfield wasn't shown enough but he is too good for this.

BONUS BONUS ROUND: DOVE

I took the time to draw this out, only to remember that Funko already showed us their wedding attire.

Fair warning, this is gonna be a long one.

Alrighty, so, in tonight's episode, Ruby proposed to Sapphire so that even when they are apart, they will always be together.

(My bisexual little heart cried and sang.)

My predictions for everyone's roles in the wedding follow.

Officiated by: Steven

Maid of Honor: Pearl

Bridesmaids: Amethyst, Connie

Best Man: Greg

Bridesmen: Uncle Andy

Flower Girl: Pumpkin

Ring Bearer: Peridot

Photographer: Ronaldo

Wedding Band: Sadie and the Killers

Caterers: Fish Stew Pizza, Frymans

Venue: The Temple

The rest of Beach City attends.

Upon the brides kissing, Garnet reforms, wearing a white tux jacket and skirt. The reception follows. Everyone is dancing, eating, and having an overall amazing time.

Suddenly, a thundering crash is heard. Everyone runs outside to see smoke rising in the direction of Beach City. Racing to town, all arrive to see their city in shambles. As the smoke/dust starts to clear, a towering silhouette appears. Upon her chest sits two gems, identical in appearance and of a slight green hue. Zooming in on the figures face, two sets of eyes open.

Cut to black.

I hate myself.