Alec faces divine punishment in the form of an incubus he thought he had summoned to do his bidding. A non-canon fic.
Maleficarum
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@macthedke
Alec faces divine punishment in the form of an incubus he thought he had summoned to do his bidding. A non-canon fic.
Maleficarum

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We’re Bertrand and Alec very popular in school?
Ehhhh...yes and no. They were always weird, the codependent twins with the religious freak mother, one of them prone to violent outbursts of emotion and the other a cold fish. As they got older they got better at concealing this, which led to increased popularity, but the strict social hierarchy of Eton meant that when they were new students at age thirteen they were at the bottom of the pecking order. Bertrand and Alec didn't really come into their own until their mid teens, when through a combination of charisma, cunning, and ruthlessness they were able to bully other children into submission and craft for themselves a kind of popularity. I wouldn't say they were really truly well-liked until university, when Cambridge meant something of a fresh start, or at least an opportunity for their peers to choose to forget their misdeeds.
Anonymous asked: Would Alec still crack a dyke
I regret to inform you that Alec finds lesbians, especially butch lesbians, direly attractive. So yes, unfortunately.
Does Isabelle have a horse?? Actually, do viola and alec do as well?
Yes! The Underwoods have a pretty extensive stable, thanks to Bertrand's inherited interest in horse breeding and racing, as well as hunting on horseback. Alec is less interested in horses than Bertrand was, but still keeps the stable for hunting and a horse of his own - a bay warmblood/Irish Draught cross gelding named Cassius, who is compliant, somewhat unintelligent, and fucking enormous (as he must be in order to cart someone as large as Alec around for hours upon hours).
Viola's horse, Lady (properly named Nuestra Señora de los Dolores), is a lean, swift, fiesty Andalusian/Thoroughbred cross, black with a white blaze like a star on her forehead. She's the product of Bertrand's breeding projects, being the offspring of an Andalusian dam and a pure black Thoroughbred named Dragon, which takes us to....
Isabelle, who sort of has two horses. There's the one Alec approves of, Damascus, and the one he does not, which is Dragon. Damascus, a dapple grey warmblood gelding, is calm and composed, a retired hunting horse who fears nothing and can be trusted with Isabelle's safety. Isabelle loves him, but the horse she's most drawn to is Dragon. Dragon was once a racing horse under the name Derring-Do, but when he retired, Bertrand had him retrained which he took to well and used him as a hunting horse for a while. Alec tried to do the same when he inherited but was resoundly rejected for being too heavy - Dragon tried to scrape him off on a tree - so Dragon was put out to pasture and studding. Isabelle adores Dragon and will ride him any time she can convince Alec to let her do so, and even now and then when she can't.
What are some things Alec has done to Isabelle’s ‘friends’?? I’m curious
For the most part Alec was...relatively harmless with Isabelle's secondary school friends? Checking them out from a distance, getting off on them covertly. Alec is perverted enough to get arousal and pleasure just from proximity to potential prey, especially if they like him, and Isabelle's friends did. The students at Isabelle's school that he preyed on were for the most part ones socially unconnected to Isabelle to better cover his tracks. However, he did directly sexually abuse Isabelle's friend Nancy at one point, which I'll probably write as the sequel to Beholding the Evil and the Good.

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What would’ve Bertrand’s children been like?
I hate to say it since I know this isn't a fun answer, but that's too many steps removed from canon for me to really know what to say or have an interest in developing new characters for the sake of an ask. However, if you're invested in the idea of Bertrand's children, feel free to treat that hypothetical AU as a sandbox!
How would’ve Alec felt if he found out Laurent was still alive? Idk if she is but i remember something like Bertrand saying she died.
Alec does canonically learn that Laurent is still alive! Decades after their separation he and Laurent d'Ardenne, now Grayson Winters, reunite after Grayson returns to England. However, if Alec had learned before then, he would've been angry with Bertrand but overwhelmingly relieved and would have reached out to make contact.
Hello same anon but, I’d like to also learn more about Bernard not Bert but what was his relationship like with Isabelle. Why did he go missing also?
Bernard was head gardener at Aldwycke d'Or, and one of very few staff members Alec kept from the old guard when he became lord of the manor. His affable demeanor, a certain affinity for the old pagan traditions of the family, and above all his expertise meant Alec kept him on even as others were dismissed. It didn't hurt that his family had worked for Alec's for generations.
How long can the underwood’s last in bed?
Depends on many factors, as it does for most people, so I'll assume sobriety and good health and aim for averages.
Isabelle usually comes in about 3 minutes, but wants about 5 orgasms, so I'd say an average round of masturbation for her - meaning no other partner to focus on, just pure stimulation for herself - is about 15 minutes. However, in partnered sex she's happy to keep going once she's had her fill to get her partners what they want.
Viola takes much longer to come, about 10 minutes, but only wants to come twice on a typical evening, so she'll usually masturbate for about 20 minutes. In partnered sex she's very big on foreplay, though, so it usually takes a fair bit longer.
Alec is generally only capable of coming once during a session of masturbation, and it takes him 20 minutes for purely penile stimulation or 15 if he's also doing something anal - lest we forget that he's a butt slut. Alec also likes going multiple rounds and doing lots of foreplay with his partners, so even if he does try to come (not a guarantee! the man has stone tendencies) it'll take longer than that in partnered sex.
Anonymous asked: Question for Alec, "what is your cock like?"
"Goodness. Offer a man a drink first, at least. Or better yet, offer to find out for yourself."

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Sorry I don’t know if Isabelle did have friends or not, but if she did. Did she ever invite them over to her home to have play dates?
Oh, absolutely. Isabelle had some genuine childhood friends when she was very young, say 4-9, but her peculiarities (morbid interests, sharp mood swings, masturbation habit, among others) usually drove them away. By the time she was in secondary school most of her "friends" were really just hangers-on who wanted access to the day trips, presents, and other financial benefits of being close to someone whose dad was as rich and generous as Alec. There was also a fringe benefit in the form of getting to use Isabelle as a sort of freak show.
Either kind of friend was very welcome in the Underwood house, as long as they were female. Alec usually left the children to themselves, although as they got older he more actively enjoyed having pubescent girls hanging around, with sometimes predatory results. The fic Beholding the Evil and the Good is a depiction of this.
How come Bertrand is unable to physically have children?
Bertrand and Alec both caught mumps when they were preteens, and Bertrand had pretty rotten luck. About one in five cases of mumps in males after puberty result in orchitis, aka inflammation of the testicles, and anywhere from one to three in fifty cases will develop it bilaterally, or in both balls. Bertrand was one of these unfortunates, and as a result he's been infertile ever since. In a nutshell (ha ha), his eggs got fried until he couldn't produce any meaningful amounts of normal, viable sperm anymore.
What if Bertrand had a child if Alec didn’t kill him?. What kind of father would he be like and would Isa like having a cousin?
Bertrand is physically incapable of having children even before Alec kills him, but for the sake of the ask, let's say he has one - either of his own miraculously, or by getting Alec to impregnate Grace.
His firstborn by Grace alone would be driven towards success from the start, molded to fit Bertrand's expectations of who and what the Walsingham heir should be. Bertrand's violence towards his child would be probably only slightly more than historically expected, and there would be some measure of covert incest at the very least, possibly spilling over into direct sexual abuse depending on whether he gets into one of his little feedback loops of evil with Alec. In a nutshell: ambitious, strict, corruptive, affectionate. There would always be the potential risk that, should his child fail to live up to expectations, he would poison them and start over.
This isn't the case if he had a child via Alec fucking Grace. He would see a child resulting from that as being both his and Alec's, born of their union, and would love them more than he would the alternative. He would be more protective of this firstborn, more understanding of their failings, and would do everything he could to ensure them the best possible future - possibly even refraining from molesting them, a courtesy which he wouldn't show to any subsequent children. Still, there would be strict expectations in place, even if the consequences for falling short wouldn't be quite so dire.
Isabelle has cousins canonically, albeit more distant ones! She loves them very much and wishes she saw them more often. If Bertrand had a child she'd be raised more closely with them, and possibly even engaged to them should Bertrand have a boy. Alec would closely monitor their interactions, though.
Would Bertrand be a better father than Alec?.. I doubt that but I’d like to know!! Also, would Alec also dote on his niece/nephew and allow them to play around with Isabelle?
If Bertrand was capable of having children, he would be a better father than Alec, for a given value of "better". Alec is more neurotic about parenting, more unhinged, driven more towards evil (as always - that's a key difference between him and Bertrand, Bertrand just flat-out isn't as motivated to be a terrible person). He wouldn't be as violent and controlling, and would expect his children to have lives outside of him, lives that he would have a hand in creating. His firstborn especially would face the pressure of having to one day inherit, but would also be spared the worst abuses as a result, because Bertrand needs his heir to be relatively sane. Any subsequent children would be more likely to face sexual abuse than their eldest sibling. Bertrand would also be a corruptive influence on all his children, seeking from them similar dynamics of co-conspiracy to the one he had with Alec. Any children who failed to live up to his expectations or who brought disgrace to the family, however, might well not survive - especially in the case of the eldest.
Alec would have loved to have a niece or nephew, and honestly wouldn't even feel any sort of rivalry for the role of heir, since he never truly planned on inheriting the Marquessate. He would be affectionate, generous, and involved, and would let Bertrand's children play with Isabelle as long as they didn't get overtly familiar - although, should Bertrand have an eldest son, he might engage him to Isabelle. Gotta keep it in the family.
Anonymous asked: how do each of the underwood's deal with illness?
Viola gets sick incredibly rarely, and when she does, it infuriates her. She tries to power through it with a lot of OTC medication while staying on her feet and continuing to accomplish whatever she pleases; however, every once in a while it actually lays her out flat and Alec has to take care of her. She resents this on many levels.
Alec also gets sick rarely, although more frequently than Viola. When he does get sick it's most often a herpes flareup. He puts himself out of commission for a few days, focusing on recovery, and tends to indulge in weed since he's "just laying about" anyway. Viola takes care of him when she has the time; if not, she delegates to Isabelle or simply pumps him full of medication the way she would herself.
Isabelle gets sick the most frequently of the Underwoods, between her asthma, her herpes, and her general physical frailty, and usually spends her sick periods in her room recovering. She tries to make arts and crafts to cheer herself up, as being sick is a major downer for her and reminds her of things she'd rather not think of. She's like her mother that way.

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Do NOT let me near alec he will and I mean it will get touched and butt ate
it's more than he deserves tbh
Hello! Who is starlet? I’d like to know more about her.
Starlet Song was born to a sex worker in London named Chun-Yue "June" Song, who Alec would come to visit because of her addiction to heroin, which let him take things further and treat her as badly as he liked. He also met Starlet over the course of frequenting June. (This is going to get both very long and very dark, so everything else is under the cut.)