conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt. 34 (masterpost here)
*gunshot*
Jason: oooooh right down the ear canal. *ace ventura accent* like a glove~!
Dick: *laugh* you're lucky B isn't here tonight.
Tim: the guy was a rapist, i don't feel too bad.
Jason: YEAHHHH, REPLACEMENT TURNS TO THE DARK SIDE! oh shit- *grunt* whoooo, that was close.
Dick: shit, i saw that flip from three roofs over, nice one.
Jason: what can i say, wing? pilates.
Tim: *laughs*
Dick: oooooh~ how sexy.
Tim, snorting: jesus-
Jason, amused: save it for ya waynecest fanfiction goldie,
Dick: *loud cackles*
Damian: for his WHAT.
Tim, weeping: oh g- oh god, it all comes out-!
Dick: DON'T EXPOSE ME HOOD! WHAT I FANTASIZE ABOUT IN THE SAFETY OF MY OWN HOME IS MY BUSINESS.
Jason: *bursts out laughing*
*metal shwing*
Damian: ok that's the last of them on our side. the fuck is waynecest?
Jason: oh didn't you know, kiddo? the public wants all the Wayne boys to fuck.
Dick: YEAHHHHHHH!!!
Tim: ok- *snorts* Robin, Red Hood, can i come over to your rooftop? i dont like Nightwing's energy right now.
Jason: no stay over there. you're the sacrifice.
Tim: *whining* nooooo-
Dick: it's fine Red, you're underage. we filter you out.
Tim: -sorry? SORRY? FILTER ME OUT OF WHAT?
Jason: *cackles* it was- *wheeze* it was one time,
Dick: we were high, to be fair. completely off our faces.
Jason: yeah, fun trip but never again.
Damian: do not fucking tell me you googled that- *disappointed* god, Akhi-
Jason, laughing deliriously: it was his idea-!
Dick: don't you point at me from three rooftops away! you were also there, asshole. you're just mad everybody makes me the jaydick top!
Tim: GOD you remember the SHIP NAME!?
Dick: *cackles*
Jason: well im sorry- sorry, but there's no fucking way i would be the bottom! that's bad writing!
Dick: it's amazing writing, you just don't pay attention. i'm the circus acrobat with good hip flexibility and core strength. you're the guy who's used to taking it up the ass from your troubled past on the streets!
Damian, horrified and resigned: oh my god,
Jason: don't you- *bursts into a wheeze* don't you fucking- i can SEE you gyrating over there,
Dick: you see my form? this is TOP form, Hood.
Tim: i am begging you two, let me come over to your rooftop. i don't like it here.
Jason: *cackles*
Damian, dry: i'm calling childline, this is an unsafe environment.
Dick: you just stabbed like eight people,
Damian, without hesitation: and you'll be the ninth.





















