Macromea

*gunshot*

Jason: oooooh right down the ear canal. *ace ventura accent* like a glove~!

Dick: *laugh* you're lucky B isn't here tonight.

Tim: the guy was a rapist, i don't feel too bad.

Jason: YEAHHHH, REPLACEMENT TURNS TO THE DARK SIDE! oh shit- *grunt* whoooo, that was close.

Dick: shit, i saw that flip from three roofs over, nice one.

Jason: what can i say, wing? pilates.

Tim: *laughs*

Dick: oooooh~ how sexy.

Tim, snorting: jesus-

Jason, amused: save it for ya waynecest fanfiction goldie,

Dick: *loud cackles*

Damian: for his WHAT.

Tim, weeping: oh g- oh god, it all comes out-!

Dick: DON'T EXPOSE ME HOOD! WHAT I FANTASIZE ABOUT IN THE SAFETY OF MY OWN HOME IS MY BUSINESS.

Jason: *bursts out laughing*

*metal shwing*

Damian: ok that's the last of them on our side. the fuck is waynecest?

Jason: oh didn't you know, kiddo? the public wants all the Wayne boys to fuck.

Dick: YEAHHHHHHH!!!

Tim: ok- *snorts* Robin, Red Hood, can i come over to your rooftop? i dont like Nightwing's energy right now.

Jason: no stay over there. you're the sacrifice.

Tim: *whining* nooooo-

Dick: it's fine Red, you're underage. we filter you out.

Tim: -sorry? SORRY? FILTER ME OUT OF WHAT?

Jason: *cackles* it was- *wheeze* it was one time,

Dick: we were high, to be fair. completely off our faces.

Jason: yeah, fun trip but never again.

Damian: do not fucking tell me you googled that- *disappointed* god, Akhi-

Jason, laughing deliriously: it was his idea-!

Dick: don't you point at me from three rooftops away! you were also there, asshole. you're just mad everybody makes me the jaydick top!

Tim: GOD you remember the SHIP NAME!?

Dick: *cackles*

Jason: well im sorry- sorry, but there's no fucking way i would be the bottom! that's bad writing!

Dick: it's amazing writing, you just don't pay attention. i'm the circus acrobat with good hip flexibility and core strength. you're the guy who's used to taking it up the ass from your troubled past on the streets!

Damian, horrified and resigned: oh my god,

Jason: don't you- *bursts into a wheeze* don't you fucking- i can SEE you gyrating over there,

Dick: you see my form? this is TOP form, Hood.

Tim: i am begging you two, let me come over to your rooftop. i don't like it here.

Jason: *cackles*

Damian, dry: i'm calling childline, this is an unsafe environment.

Dick: you just stabbed like eight people,

Dick: B i have to tell you something and you have to remember i literally cannot lie. Jason's on drugs. i saw him taking drugs you need to punish him. he's on drugs.

Bruce:

Jason from across the cave, THE most irritated they've ever heard him: I TOOK AN IBUPROFEN YOU FUCKIN' JACKASS.

-

Damian: father, usually i am not a snitch because Jason trained that out of me at the league, but i am under truth serum so i feel i have no choice but to let you know that Timothy is neglecting to tell you about injuries he gets on patrol again, despite your interventions. he clearly has no respect for you and this should be addressed.

Bruce, grave: Tim, is this true?

Tim, immensely confused: wha- NO?!

Bruce: Damian is currently unable to lie to me, Tim. please, be honest.

Damian: he even did it tonight, he does it all the time father.

Tim: what the- WHAT FUCKING-

Tim: *pauses*

Tim, incredulous: yOU MEAN THE FUCKING SPLINTER I GOT FOUR HOURS AGO?!?!

Bruce:

Bruce: ok but you didn't deny the no respect thing.

Tim: no comment.

-

Tim, through the coms: B, i've been dosed with truth serum. also Jason's killing again.

Original art by Veronique Oelkers

Can’t believe your making me draw Raph

MK I love your guys sm im excited to draw more 😈

I hope Raph is prepared for a lot of facts about alligator snapping turtles

Just in case you forget this exists.

[Free] Masterlist Headers & Dividers!

(ID in ALT text)

Bruce: *sighs, gives Damian the rest of his incredibly juicy fruit salad* Hn

Damian: *scampers off with bowl, Titus hot on his tracks*

Bruce: *watches with a faint smile, sipping on his water*

Just imagine big giant scary Red Hood just stealing snacks out of Batman's belt Jason's favorite fruit snacks that Bruce totally bought for himself.

Dick walks down for breakfast just stealing Bruce's bacon he doesn't even flinch.

Tim looking at Bruce's food at the restaurant he ordered something different that he doesn't like Bruce just switching the plates.

Bruce takes Cass out to lunch and orders stuff that his baby girl specifically likes so she can make a game out of taking it even though he would never stop her.

His plate is never his own and he doesn't care because they are eating.

Also if we want a bit of trauma he is willing to sample food for them so that they know it's not poisoned or something else eating a little bit of baby Jason's food so he can feel safe.

Sipping Dick and Tim's drinks before handing them over. He will do anything to make them comfortable.

His kids will randomly walk up to him at a gala he takes it without stopping his conversation and giving it back only if it's safe and not god have mercy on you if it isn't.

Damian who didn't trust anything knowing his Baba's plate is safe so just taking that.

DAD'S FOOD IS THEIR'S

As requested. This guy is my absolute favourite to draw. ❤️

Spicy alert!

Belle x Beast warming up by the fireplace. For last month's patron requests.