pairing: enhypen jake x reader
genre: some angst, childhood friends to lovers, fluff
warnings: mentions of death, sunghoon cameo
summary: a sudden death in your family brings your childhood friend back in the town, and now, you think, thereâs a little more hope for you, if only because you now have something to think about other than what you lost.
a/n: hello hello, itâs been awhile :â) the story youâre about to read contains some of my own personal feelings since my own grandmother just passed a few months ago. i think itâs my coping mechanism to write something for it. enjoy and thank you for reading! :)
the sun is already setting, making some of the sun rays peak out from behind the trees and blind your eyes. itâs getting pretty late and not to mention chilly. summer is coming to an end.
a single tear rolls down your cheek.
with a heavy heart, you push yourself to stand up, turning around from the view your eyes found calmness at for the past few hours.
climbing down the hill turned out to be pretty challenging. youâd run down it when you were a child, basking in the softness of the grass that your feet would lay upon, laughing and giggling if by one, youâd slip and tumble down. now, youâre scared of that, your steps careful as you make your way down.
the forest is what youâre met with next, another happy memory for you as a kid yet quite mysterious as an adult. as you find the path you came here from, your head is filled with memories. thereâs laughter everywhere and squeals all over the place and you wish for anything just so you could bring it back. those happy days went by so quickly. there was always another make-believe adventure waiting for you just around the corner, yet now all thatâs itâs become is just fairytales.
you finally reach the end and come out on the village road. itâs got cracks, hence, been fixed once and never renovated since. but you donât mind it, it only stands as a reminder that nothing lasts forever. only then do you see a familiar hunch of disheveled hair, sporting a tall figure, one that you recognize as your friend.
gathering whatâs left of your strength, you jump over the last obstacle of weeds blocking your way and go into your friendâs view, waving your hand to catch his attention, âsunghoon!!â
the said one turns around and a smile paints his features, âwhere have you been? i have been looking all around for youâ he runs up to you, hands flying to fix his hair.
sunghoon stands tall in front of you, catching up to his breath, âsorry,â you say, âi went to watch the sunset on the hill,â you point behind you, not caring to go too much into detail, already knowing sunghoon will know which one you have in mind.
the man nods in comprehension, âwell then let me walk you home, itâs getting coldâ
you nod and let him walk side by side. itâs silent yet calming. you hear some birds chirp and the wind pick up, sending chills down your bare arms. you cross your arms, hoping for some warmth.
âhow are you doing?â sunghoon asks, his voice barely a whisper. itâs not much but you already know the hidden implications behind that question. it makes your lips quiver as you search for an answer. thatâs true, how are you doing..?
you slow down your steps and soon stop, making the older stop as well. sunghoon turns around and looks at you, his face already indicating sympathy.
your eyes water and it doesnât take sunghoon a second to engulf you in a hug, âit will be okay,â he mumbles into your hair, a hand softly rubbing your back.
involuntary sobs escape your throat and get muffled in sunghoonâs chest. you cry until thereâs nothing but that heavy feeling in your chest again.
the news of your grandmotherâs death rocked the whole town. the worst news anyone couldâve heard that day. maybe because it was too sudden. too quick. too unexpected. that one small bubble of happiness and joy suddenly gone, evaporated into the thin air.
nothing couldâve prepared you for the day your mother knocked on your bedroom door, for the way you felt when you saw her puffy eyes and shaking hands holding a phone, where you heard your dads voice calling from the hospital, telling you that she was gone.
you didnât sleep that night at all. sitting on the windowsill, you stared at the hill you and your grandmother would always go to play and watch the sunsets. all you felt was coldness, the moon only illuminating the small part of the hill and the big oak tree that stood tall and proud on top of it, the one your grandmother planted along her mother when she was only a child.
your town was small and youâve spent most of your childhood here. thatâs why after finding out the news, the world felt like it shattered.
you only ever left the city to spend your summers here, enjoying the presence of your grandmother and helping her around the house. you knew the neighborhood well and nothing was more exciting than going around and asking how everyone is doing, meeting up with your childhood friends and camping somewhere in the forest. your grandmotherâs death meant that not only will you come here less or maybe not even again, it meant that all of your happy memories will never repeat again. and thatâs what was the most crushing.
the plans for the funeral were slow. you refused to participate in the process, the mere mention of your grandmother easily bringing you to tears. but long and behold, the day finally came.
not being able to sit in the room where the air felt like itâs been compressed, you leave to get some fresh air. your cheeks feel stiff from the tears that have already dried up. you go a bit further and sit on the bench that looks over a lake.
someone walks behind you but you are too tired to look up until they sit down and you feel warmness. looking up, you turn your head to the side and canât hold in the gasp that escapes your throat.
itâs jake. your dearest childhood friend. the one youâd swear to clean the whole house for just so your grandmother would let you out to play at ungodly hours of the day.
your first ever friend and the only one youâve felt like the best version of yourself when you were with him. the boy who would climb over your fence for both of you to lay on the grass and look at the stars. the boy who swore to defeat all the forest monsters and protect you from evil. the boy who looked the upmost jealous when you adopted the neighboring kid sunghoon into your small friend circle.
the boy who now looks nothing like the last time you remember.
âhi,â one word it takes for him to say and all the memories start flooding in. god, youâve missed his voice so much.
jake was born in this town but left for the city once he turned sixteen. as far as youâve heard, the boy grew up to be a star basketball player. youâd still keep in touch even when he left but once life kept barging at both of you, you lost him. four years had passed and not once did you not think of how he was doing. and now here he was. not a boy anymore though, a full grown man, sitting right next to you.
still in shock, you keep staring at him, not fully understanding if heâs actually here.
âmissed me?â he jokes and you melt at his failed attempt of cracking a joke. you rush to hug him and your hands tremble as you pull him closer.
âjake, oh my god, what are you doing here?â you utter, still in complete disbelief.
jake hugs you back, âsunghoon told me about what happened, i had toâŚâ
your heart clenches at his words. for a moment, you forgot. his hugs still feel warm, as if that never changed about him.
âyou shouldâve came back sooner,â you sniffle, trying your best from stopping the tears. but here you are again, crying, yet this time unbeknownst to what.
âi know. iâm sorry,â jake sighs into your hair, fingers tracing comforting circles into your back, âi truly wanted to but i couldnât. i promise you i will explain everything, okay? just a bit laterâ
you nod, too afraid your voice will crack if you spoke. yet you try anyways, âi missed youâŚâ
âme too. so much.â jake pulls you in closer if thatâs even possible anymore.
you sit like that for a few minutes until you feel like itâs time to go back. as you make your way to see your grandmother one last time and say goodbye, jake holds your hand, his hold now seeping warmth into your own, comforting you in a way youâve forgotten how.
jake had to leave once the funeral ended but he promised he will come back. and he did a couple of weeks later, awkwardly standing in front of your house, hands neatly stuffed in his jeans pockets as he looks around. sunghoon stands next to him, seemingly having more of his attention on the phone in his hand rather than his friend.
you walk out soon later, a bright smile plastered on your face as you come towards jake face to face. he opens up his arms and you engulf him in a hug, a small giggle escaping your lips.
âokay, letâs go,â you announce as soon as you force yourself out of jakeâs hold.
sunghoon scoffs as he puts his phone away and glares at you, âwhereâs my hug?â
you slightly roll your eyes, âyouâve gotten them far more than jake had, deal with itâ
they both laugh yet thereâs some bittersweet look on jakeâs face. you decide to ignore it as you begin walking down the road.
the original plan was to show jake around, remind him of the things he had missed upon from all those years. and then sunghoon being sunghoon, decided to tag along too. you donât mind it but something deep inside you wanted to be selfish and only hang out with jake. you wonât tell this to anyone though, it would hurt sunghoonâs feelings.
you engage in a lighthearted conversation with both of them. you soon find out that when jake left for the city, his dad enrolled him into a sports academy where he picked up basketball and things just soared from there. you also found out that after changing his phone, he lost all of his contacts and only later, way later, found sunghoon on facebook where he contacted him once again.
âyou still use facebook?â you snort and look at sunghoon.
âhey,â sunghoon frowns, pushing you slightly to the side, âi donât use it, itâs mostly for emergencies like these to be exact. look he found me and now heâs here, you should thank me insteadâ
âwhatever,â you shake your head chuckling. the boys continue the conversation but something irks you. how come jake never asked sunghoon for your number if he had lost it? itâs stupid, really, but youâre a bit hurt from this. again, blaming your fragile heart, you ignore it, rather going back to indulge yourself in the conversation again.
jake continues on about his life in the city and how much he has travelled the world due to the growing popularity of his sports achievements.
âdamn, are we friends with a world superstar? should i ask you for your signature?â sunghoon rushes at his words, almost as if pretending to be jakeâs biggest fan.
âaw câmon man,â jake laughs, shoving sunghoon to the side, âi am not that popularâ
except that he is once sunghoon pulls out his phone and goes on a searching spree. it doesnât take him long to find countless of articles, all written about ââŚthe rising basketball player jake sim, once again sets an example for basketballâs history with his upmost precision and-â
sunghoonâs attempt at reading one of the articles gets interrupted by jake snatching the phone away from him, âdude, you are famous,â sunghoon deadpans.
âokay, i might be a little bit, but please stop reading, itâs embarrassing,â jake sulks, deleting all the tabs of the articles sunghoon has opened up. he soon gives him back the phone but not without making sunghoon promise he wonât search for more.
âwah, y/n weâre friends with a star,â sunghoon pretends to be in an awe, as he nudges your shoulder with his own.
âyeah yeah, do you think thereâs paparazzi standing right around that corner?â you whisper to him, pointing to a random corner. youâre mesmerized by jakeâs achievements but putting on an act with sunghoon is much more funnier.
âguysss,â jake whines at the way youâre both acting, âpleaseâ
âokay okay we will stop,â sunghoon laughs, draping an arm around your shoulder. the seemingly small action sets something unknown in jakeâs eyes as he shifts uncomfortably on his feet.
âweird question but are you guys uh dating or something?â jake asks and suddenly you get it. so jake thought you and sunghoon were a thingâŚ
âgod, no,â you push sunghoon away from you in light speed and the man dares to act wounded, âsunghoon and i are only friendsâ
sunghoon being the good friend that he is, decides to ignore how you got all defensive, a small grin appearing on the corners of his lips.
âyeahh, we are besties, jake,â sunghoon laughs, patting his back, âeven still i wouldnât date her if you paid me millionsâ
you let out a fake gasp, âare you saying i would be a bad date?â
ânot exactly⌠but you do be a handful sometimes,â sunghoon raises his hands in a defensive manner.
you roll your eyes, âwhatever rows your boat dudeâ
sunghoon snickers next to you and you focus your attention back to walking. you pass some of your neighbors and most of them seem to recognize jake as they catch him to indulge into small chitchats on how heâs been doing. itâs all fun and chill until you come across one of the old houses.
âoh my god, is he still alive?â jake gapes as he sees that said man sitting on a rocking chair, gaze turned to the fields.
âyeah,â you nod. when you were children, youâd always be scared of him for literally no reason. you and jake would always pass his house on your tippy toes, giggling among yourselves, thinking you were sneaky. you remember that one time the old man came from around the corner, scaring both of you to your cores so much that jake tripped while running down the road. you laughed, of course, before helping him.
it was just something about him that made you shiver. now that youâve grown up, you realized it was all in your childâs head; the man was just lonely. now he barely leaves his house territory, usually just rocking on his chair, gaze stuck somewhere far far away.
sometimes you hate your younger self for being like that and wonder what wouldâve happened if you were nicer. maybe youâd have made friends with the old man and brighten up his life more.
âheâs still scary,â sunghoon interrupts your spacing out on the memory lane moment, âdidnât change muchâ
âhm,â jake mumbles. youâre about to walk away when the old man turns slowly. very slowly in fact.
âgod i just got the worst shivers ever,â sunghoon shakes his body, âletâs go before he runs at us full speedâ
you laugh, âstupid, heâs too old for that.â
what you didnât expect however is for the old man to wave his hand at you. not in a way where heâs asking you to come closer but merely just a wave of saying hello. weirdly you feel at peace as jake and you almost immediately wave back.
âwhat? heâs suddenly being nice?â sunghoon scoffs but nevertheless waves back because as much as he likes being a prick, thereâs still some decency in his heart. the old man returns his gaze to whatever heâs been staring at and thatâs how your short interaction ends.
continuing your walk towards the lake (in hopes of going full circle around the town), sunghoon suddenly gets a call from his mother, urging him to go back home. the taller tells you he might join you later for the sunset, and then shortly leaves after. now itâs only you and jake.
when you arrive at the lake, the two of you settle on the grass by its shores. when you look at the time, itâs almost six in the evening. a glance at jake reveals that he has been spacing out for a while. he seems to be thinking of something hard, so you wait for him to talk. he looks at you, his eyes glassy with a distant look on his face.
âis something wrong, jake?â you ask softly as you donât hesitate to lay your head on his shoulder. he doesn't respond but his hand starts caressing the nape of your neck. his touch sends a pleasant tingling feeling down your spine.
you find yourself not wanting the touch to stop so when he moves his hand from your neck, you instinctively grab it. the sudden contact makes jake's hand tense up.
âgod, sorry, i just-â you blurt out, retrieving your hand back as you sense that maybe you've gone too far but jake grabs your hand again.
your face suddenly feels very warm, and it spreads all over your body. the silence that follows feels so loud to you, you can almost hear every beat of your heart.
âi want to apologize,â jake breathes in a shaky voice. he looks away from you.
you frown and sit up, facing him. "why?" you ask, "you haven't done anything wrong, jake."
the look he gives you breaks your heart, and you feel an ache in your chest, âwas leaving you behind not wrong enough? i always regret it every time. i don't think i can make amends for what i did, so i can only apologize to you, and say i'm sorry. for all this time, i never forgot you, i couldn't forget you.â
âjake, donât say that,â you shake your head, "i understand that you had to leave. the city had way more opportunities to you and that was the right thing to do. i know it was a tough choice to make but it's okay. it's alright. i'm alright. you didn't do anything wrong," you cup his face in your hands.
âno, y/n, you donât understand,â jake shakes his head making your hands fall to your sides, âit wasnât a tough choice i had to make. i, fuck, i wanted to leave. i had grown so tired, so sick of this town. i felt suffocated here. and when my mom told me the chance to live in the city was open to me, i took it. i wanted to come home to you more than anything, but i thought i was better off in the big city. and you know, it felt amazing the first few years, i found my strength in basketball, i was living the dream. i had friends, a career, a future, i had it all, but i wasn't happy. i felt so miserable all the time, and i think it was because i left you behind, left this place behind, and i-â jakeâs voice cracks as he wipes a tear, and you do your best to hold back a sob, "i missed you so goddamn much. i felt so bad, god, i still feel so fucking bad. no matter where i went, how big i made it, you've always been the only thing in my mind. it was all you, y/n. you were always the one thing keeping me going. and it's hard, you know, it's hard being on your own out there when all i knew is how it was when we were young and stupid and together like two pieces of a whole, you know? it was just so much easier when i was here, i didn't have to be alone."
you gently caress his cheeks and give him a smile, "and you're not alone anymore," you whisper softly, "you're not alone, jake."
the words seem to pierce right through jake's heart. he falls forward into your chest, wrapping his arms around you. you wrap your arms around his head and stroke his hair as you hold him tight.
âi never thought bad about you jake. i just thought you left because you had to and it was enough for me to know you were happy out there. i never wanted you to stay here if you felt like that. you never owed me anything. you never owed this town or anyone anything. it was your life, your choice, you should never have to explain yourself.â
âbut i hurt you, y/n. you had to be sad because of me. i never wanted that. i never wanted to make you feel bad, not you. you were my home, my light, my everything.â
your heart does a little twist.
he said home, he said light, he said everything. and then your heart goes into overdrive when jake pulls away and you swear you can see little stars in his eyes. he stares at you with so much affection in them, you're scared to look away.
jake's eyes dart around, looking at you in wonder. you watch as his hand cups the side of your face, gently caressing it, as he leans in. your heart is going out of control, the speed of your heart making your hands tremble. before he can lean in any more, heâs whispering the words you thought youâd never get to hear.
and then his lips are on yours.
his kiss is sweet and loving, full of emotion. it's like he's pouring everything into you, all of his feelings, every feeling he had kept locked up for all this time. and you give everything back, in the same amounts of emotion.
"i love you too," you murmur in the kiss, feeling so alive you might burst.
when the kiss finally breaks, jake's cheeks are flushed pink, he's panting softly.
âgod,â he murmurs, voice shaky. he lets out a hoarse laugh and burries his face in his hands, âi was so stupidâ he mumbles into his palms, "i should've never left, i should've never let you go, i should've just fucking stayed-"
you put your hand over his and slowly remove it from his face.
âi could have had you sooner,â his voice breaks.
you take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his.
"but you're here now. and you have me."
he looks at you and you swear there's nothing more beautiful than the way he smiles at you right now. you swear on your life it's like staring into the stars themselves.
"and you'll always have me," you whisper, "always."
he closes his eyes as he brings your hand up to his mouth, giving you a gentle kiss. you close your eyes as well, relishing in the soft feeling of his lips against your skin.
ây/n this might be too soon but will you be mine? officially this time? will you be my girlfriend?" jake asks in a shy voice.
"oh my god," you let out a small laugh, "i was already yours, jake. all this time you had meâ
and when you kiss him again, there's a feeling of relief that spreads all over his body. relief that finally, he has you back, finally.
âhey! i left you for like an hour and youâre already all over each other?!â you hear a voice call out from behind you.
you and jake immediately break away from each other. you turn around and see sunghoon a few meters behind you. heâs holding a plastic bag in his hand, while the other is placed on his hip. he looks like a bored housewife.
he throws the bag to jake, and he catches it with ease.
"what's this?" jake asks as he opens it up, and you scoot closer to take a look. it's a take out box from the small town's only restaurant, one that you both dearly loved.
"dinner," sunghoon rolls his eyes, "thought yâall would be hungry by now but not after seeing you eat at each other's faces."
âgod, how much did you see,â you whine, face growing hot.
sunghoon shrugs his shoulders, "only half," he answers, and you groan in embarrassment.
âwhatever, letâs eat please,â you groan again, hoping your cheeks won't burn forever.
sunghoon settles in beside you and you bask in the fact that finally, everything feels right again. even if you lost someone so dear to you and it will take some time to get used to it, you gained one person back.
you finally have jake back home.