#jacob fluff

The only downside to a day-long party celebrating your engagement to your fiancé, was the lack of him the whole day. Now, you weren’t the overly clingy type. You could spend a day without seeing Jacob and survive just fine. But spending a day without him, but still talking about him the entire time made your brain spin with how much you missed him. 

And although you had the time of your life at the party, you were relieved to be home by the time it was over. Falling asleep in Jacob’s arms after a long day of missing him was the best feeling in the entire world. Except for maybe waking up to his arms still wrapped around you, and the feeling of his plush lips grazing your cheek with gentle kisses. 

You didn’t open your eyes immediately, instead basking in the feeling of him so close. Once he seemed to have gotten his fill of kissing your face, he pulled you closer, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You circled your arms around his waist as well, finding a way to be even closer. His bare skin was soft and extremely warm, comforting against your hands that always ended up getting cold in the night.

“Can’t wait to marry you,” you mumbled, still gripping onto the edges of sleep as you breathed in Jacob’s scent, the warmth of his skin relaxing you.

“Me too,” your fiancé sighed, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your neck. 

“Time can’t go fast enough,” you complained, meeting Jacob’s eyes as he gave you a sympathetic smile. He brought a hand to your cheek, stroking your skin with his thumb like he had done so many times before.

“You know I’d wait an eternity for you if I had to.”

You could tell how much weight his words held. Jacob’s entire being overflowed with sincerity, especially when it came to you. For the most precious person in his life, he could only be his completely honest self.

the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,,

@lecheugo,, @seunghancore,, @recordsfilm,, @bananabubble,, @cupidslovearrows,,

“You’re a lifesaver,” You groaned once you noticed Jacob entering your dorm with a paper bag of freshly baked cookies in his hand. You jumped off your bed, slightly crumpling the endless papers of notes laid out across your sheets. Stumbling over to where he was staring at you with concern, you clung to his arm, cupped his face with one hand, and pressed an obnoxiously loud kiss on his cheek.

“Is it that bad?” He stared at you, unimpressed. 

“Yeah?” You narrowed your eyes at him before snatching the bag from him and bounding back to splay out your bed.

“Didn’t you say that you were going to stop eating sugar? Yesterday?” He followed you further into your dorm. He set down all of his things and put back all of the clutter that was laid out on your table and the floor. He knew where everything went after the countless times he’s lounged around here.

“Okay but I cannot stay awake without sugar and I have an exam tomorrow,” You grumbled, gesturing for him to sit next to you. You turned back to your computer, rolling onto your stomach and scrolling through the endless slideshows to try to pretend like you were retaining any information. Frankly, you were more focused on the delicious cookies melting in your mouth.

He shrugged, silently reaching over and organizing your papers. He knew that you often got stressed when your environment was messy. You made no effort to keep it clean though because he always did it for you.

“And how was your day, Cobie?” You mumbled, glancing at him briefly before turning back to your notes, You shifted slightly on the bed, allowing him space to lie down next to you.

“Boring. And you shouldn’t be studying on your bed, you know. You always fall asleep.”

You huffed. “Just because you’re my best friend doesn’t mean you have to dote on me.”

“You know I’m right.” He smirked.

“I won’t, I promise.”

“But you always fall asleep. Like last time.”

You rolled your eyes, burying your face in your arms. “Stop bringing that up. It’s been five years already.”

“But I’ll never forgive you for embarrassing me in front of Sunwoo.”

“C’mon, you always let him tease you anyway,” You retorted.

Your eyelids threatened to shut any minute now. You had managed to find a spot to finally escape the stress that was called high school responsibilities. It wasn’t the most comfortable spot though–against the brick wall of the building, sitting on the concrete floor. Still, you couldn’t care less, enjoying the sun that perfectly hit the side of your face as your uniform fluttered in the wind.

After that point, you didn’t know what happened until you woke up. But Jacob had vividly described it to you because he found it that amusing. Though, he always told the story with a fond smile on his face.

“Can you pass the ball?” Another student called out to you. His uniform was messy and crinkled after playing with his friends for so long. When he noticed no response, he jogged over to pick up the soccer ball that rolled over and knelt down. He snickered slightly, tilting his head to peer at you curiously. “That can’t be comfortable…” He muttered. 

Silently, he contemplated what to do. Ultimately, he stood up. Not to leave you, but to kick the soccer ball back to his friends. Then, he turned back to you and gently lowered himself down to your side. Almost immediately, like a magnet, your head found its way to his shoulder and you were already dozing away. This time, with a lot less neck pain.

His lips quirked up as he played with his fingers quietly. He ignored his friends who were gesturing to him in the distance to come back, instead choosing to lean closer so you could sleep more comfortably. 

But then he heard footsteps approaching.

“Oh, shit!” Sunwoo gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth after appearing from around the corner of the same brick wall.

Jacob jumped, waving with his hands frantically to tell his friend to go away. But Sunwoo only began to jump up and down in excitement.

“Shhhh–” Jacob whispered. “They’re sleeping.”

“You’re dating someo–”

“I don’t even know who the hell this is.”

You smiled to yourself, long roused awake.

You had already heard the whole conversation but found it all too amusing so you ended up pretending to sleep for a few more minutes. Once you were sure that his friend had wandered off somewhere else, you blinked your eyes open. The curiosity got the best of you as you slowly lifted your head up to peer at the mysterious student’s name tag. He’s got an amazing shoulder for a pillow.

“That’s a bit rude, Jacob.”

He jolted once again, turning to you in surprise. You smiled lazily back at him.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” You yawned. “And thanks for your shoulder but also I don’t thank you for not even bothering to look at my nametag.”

“Even if I knew your name, I wouldn’t know who you are.”

“Fair,” You hummed. You looked him over. He had a friendly look to him. Gentle eyes, a nice-looking smile, and brown tousled hair that shone in the sun. “You look like a Jacob.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do know that I gave up my soccer time to let you sleep on my shoulder, right?”

“Shush.” You stuck your tongue out. “It’s not like I forced you to. You’re just too nice with your super nice smile.”

“I can’t tell if you're insulting me or complimenting me.”

“Both.” You leaned your head back against the wall with a tired sigh. Then you turned back to him with a mischievous smile before setting your hand out for him to shake it. “Friends?”

He blinked at you. And then he smiled back and took your hand in his. “Friends.”

“I’m tired of this,” You whispered, thumping your forehead against your now-closed computer. 

“At least look this over.” He held out one of your papers, with a title clearly underlined with red. “Looks important.”

“It is but—“

“Just one,” He encouraged. “I’ll hold it for you.” And just as he said, he shuffled closer to you, holding the paper for you to read. You sighed but obliged, your eyes scanning over the words. Gradually though, the sentences began to grow blurrier and more jumbled. His arm looked awfully comfortable right now.

“Jacob,” You warned, turning to him. He stared curiously, his face surprisingly close to yours. “Jacob, I’m gonna go.”

“Go where?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“To sleep.” You grinned before slumping down. No longer were you propped up on your elbows. Instead, you laid down, your cheek squished against his forearm as you snuggled close to his body warmth.

You heard a disappointed yet fond sigh leave his lips. He put down the paper and cleared the bed of everything so you could properly cuddle up to his side.

“You always take care of me,” You mumbled quietly. “Why?”

And for some reason, even with your eyes closed, you could sense his soft smile—the one with the gentle gaze and warm cheeks.

“Because you deserve it.”

—

“You flunked it, didn’t you?” Jacob grinned, standing up from where he was leaning against the wall. “I told you to stop studying on your bed.”

You scowled, walking alongside him. “You shouldn’t have waited for me, I’m getting coffee with a friend.”

He smiled wider. “Right now?”

You froze, staring at him sheepishly. You shifted on your feet. “…no. But soon.”

He hummed. “Good, cause I’m giving you this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace. It was beautiful with an opal charm in the middle. 

You stared at it with awe in your eyes and then turned your gaze up to Jacob. Already, you could feel tears prick your vision at which he only chuckled at the sight.

“Don’t cry,” He giggled, reaching an arm around you to pull you close to his chest.

“Why?” You pouted. “Did I miss my own birthday or something?”

“No,” He laughed. “I just wanted to give it to you. I thought of you when I saw it.”

You narrowed your eyes through sniffles before slapping his chest weakly. “How much was it?”

He shook his head. “It was on sale, so it was  cheap.”

You nodded before lightly touching your own bare neck. You smiled at your best friend.

“I want to put it on,” You stated, reaching your hand out. 

“Okay,” He whispered. But instead of placing the necklace in your palm, he stepped forward and reached his arms around your neck to clasp it on himself. He moved any strands of hair that were in the way, his fingertips just grazing over the back of your neck. You shivered and stayed completely still, staring straight ahead into his chest with wide eyes. 

It felt like hours but he finally stepped back with a soft smile.

“I knew it would suit you.”

You beamed. Just before you were about to say anything else, you heard a voice call out your name. It was your friend, standing just meters away waving excitedly.

“I have to go,” You said, looking at Jacob with bright eyes. 

“See you at your dorm?” He joked.

You thought for a moment before nodding. “Sure, I’ll bring ramen.”

“I was jok—“

“Still, I need my pillow to sleep on tonight.”

“My arm or my chest?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Still deciding!” You called out, running towards your friend. You skipped over to her and immediately started rambling about your new necklace.

“It’s pretty!” She fawned. “Sometimes I think you’re actually dating.”

You gawked and immediately started laughing. “No! That’s— that’s so wrong.”

She blinked at you, completely confused.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

I.

It was stuck in your head–what your friend said. He looked at you like any completely normal person. He always had a friendly, caring expression on his face simply because that was his nature. There was nothing different and nothing more in your relationship except friendship. 

You couldn’t focus on that anymore though since you were now caught up in a game of truth or dare. After exams, the whole floor of your dorm decided to gather for a party. You hated going alone and so of course, you had to bring Jacob. 

The two of you tried to sit together on the floor but quickly became separated by the amount of people crowded into one room. You frowned, settling onto the floor next to two complete strangers.

Help me, You mouthed to him.

He shrugged. Wanna leave? He mouthed back.

You shook your head. This will be fun.

He nodded and turned his attention back to the bottle spinning in the middle of the circle, about to choose its first victim. It slowly came to a stop, landing on a guy who you remembered his name to be Sangyeon. He was nice. He once let you borrow his umbrella.

“Truth or dare?” Eric leaned excitedly.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to… text the person you have a crush on and ask them out on a date!” 

Sangyeon’s eyes widened in horror. Reluctantly, he pulled out his phone and soon, it was like the whole population was crowding around him, cheering giddily when Sangyeon began to text a message. 

You locked eyes with Jacob who’s across the room, obviously out of place. You smiled with amusement and silently shuffled over to him. 

“I don’t get this game,” He grumbled.

“You don’t get any fun. You only like soccer and basketball since you’re so good at it.” A familiar image appeared in your mind of Jacob, left only in the white dress shirt of his school uniform, wiping sweat off his forehead as he easily shot a goal.

“Thanks.” Jacob grinned stupidly.

“I wasn’t complimenting you.”

“Alright.” He eyed you skeptically. “So can we please not get separated again?”

“We can try,” You mumbled. Without a warning, your hand trailed down to his, grabbing hold of it and placing your intertwined hands in your lap. He stared at it briefly before clearing his throat and looking away.

“Is that the most effective way?” He muttered.

“I said I’d try,” You whined, your eyes traveling over to where the crowd around Sangyeon began to dissipate back into its circle. You were confident that no one would notice that you had switched places. But of course, Sunwoo, who was so adamant about going to the exact same college as Jacob because he “admires him so much” (he actually just wanted someone to pay for his meals occasionally), noticed your connected hands.

“No PDA!” He dramatically yelled, covering his eyes with his hands. Everyone immediately turned to look at the two of you.

Jacob immediately pulled his hand out of your grasp almost like you burned him. You groaned and glared at Sunwoo.

“And go back to your normal seat,” Sunwoo smiled teasingly. “Get off your boyfriend for just a minute.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You gritted out, standing up and stalking back to your original seat. You plopped back down on the floor and stared at Jacob with clear anger in your gaze.

He’s annoying. You glanced at the smug boy who was still smiling proudly over the fact that he separated two perfectly normal best friends.

Tell me about it. Jacob rolled his eyes, leaning back against his palms as his eyes wandered down to where the bottle was spinning again. This time, it landed on the stranger next to you. He wasn’t bad-looking and had a polite aura to him.

Eric gasped excitedly. “Juyeon! Truth or dare?”

The man thought for a second, humming. His voice was deep, you realized.

“Dare?” 

Almost instantly, Eric was leaning forward. He must have rehearsed this dare like his life depended on it. “Kiss the person on the left of you.”

It took Juyeon a while to process what Eric just said. But when he finally did, he whipped his head to look at you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. You stared back, completely bewildered. 

“That’s cruel,” You groaned, staring at Eric in disbelief. “We don’t even know each other that well.”

“Fine,” Eric huffed. “On the cheek at least.”

Juyeon continued to stare at you, his gaze gentle and understanding. “Sorry,” He whispered sheepishly. “I can’t drink this one off. I’m a huge lightweight.”

You shook your head with a kind smile. “It’s fine. Just get it over with.” 

Juyeon nodded and he leaned in. You turned your head slightly so that he wouldn’t have to twist his neck in an awkward position. Just as you were about to focus on the lips being pressed to your cheek, your gaze locked with someone else’s. More specifically, Jacob’s.

Your breath hitched and your heart seized. There was something different about his gaze. It was filled with a flame and you could see that his jaw was clenched ever so slightly. His hands fidgeted as his eyes stared straight into yours, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

It felt like time had slowed down. You watched as he leaned forward, propped his elbows on his knees, and tilted his head, obviously annoyed. Over what? You weren’t too sure. But you could see through the way his jaw tightened further that something was genuinely bothering him. Yet why was he only looking at you?

You were so focused on Jacob that you didn’t even realize that Juyeon was already pulling away.

Everyone in the room was cheering over the measly cheek kiss but it all felt silent to you. Your ears began to ring as you stared straight at Jacob, his eyes filled with a clear anger tinged with a small bit of hurt. 

You tilted your head worriedly.

Are you okay?

He blinked, his eyes softening. It was like what came over him just magically disappeared. Yeah.

You stared at him quietly before nodding. One more and then we leave.

He eagerly agreed, his head bobbing much like a puppy’s. You huffed out a laugh. You should have never dragged him out with you.

“Who’s next?” Eric spoke up loudly. Everyone’s attention turned back to the bottle that was spinning. You held your breath watching as it slowly came to a stop. You turned your gaze up to see who it was pointing at and—

You winced. 

Jacob stared at you with wide eyes before pointing at himself. You nodded with a grimace. 

Sorry.

He shook his head with a smile before turning to face Eric who was practically brimming with excitement. 

“Truth or dare?”

Jacob sighed. “Truth.”

Eric groaned. “Boring. But fine, I can make this fun.”

Jacob waited patiently. He was always patient—so patient that it annoyed you. You were always the one to tease and annoy him yet he took it like it was his sole job. Even if you could tell he was getting ticked off, he continued to smile and play along.

“Don’t you want to see my performance?” You twirled in your new outfit.

Jacob shook his head. “Not now, I have an art project due. You look pretty though.”

And you should have stopped there and said thank you. But instead, you continued to cling onto him and ramble in his ear.

At some point, in a flash of color, you knocked over the cup that Jacob used to wash his paintbrushes.

You watched in horror as it spilled over his painting. He only stared silently.

“I-I’m sorry, Cobie,” You whispered. 

“It’s fine,” He muttered, standing up and picking up the soaking-wet canvas. “I’ll just go dry it off.”

You gulped, searching his face for any sort of frustration. He definitely looked disappointed but… nothing else.

“Wait.” You stopped him, your hand coming to his wrist. You promptly ignored the cold feeling of the water that spilled over your new clothes as well.“Are you mad? Let me make it up to you. I can do the whole project for you if you want.”

Jacob turned to you, his expression blank. But much to your surprise, his face softened into a reassuring smile, his gaze gentle and warm. He set the canvas down and stepped forward, pulling you closer in the process.

“No,” He whispered. “You make everything look more beautiful anyway.” He turned to look at where the canvas which was previously plain and gray, was now splashed with a mix of colors.

You frowned. “But—“ 

“I’m more mad that your new clothes are ruined.” He paused, stepping back and looking you over. Then, he scrunched his nose teasingly. “It was pretty.”

“Jacob,” You huffed. How could he be so unbothered by this? You ruined his project that he had been working on for days yet he was more worried over you? “This is not about me.”

His eyes sparkled.

“I can always make it about you.”

“Okay! I got one!” Eric exclaimed, sitting up. “If you could date anyone in this room, who would it be?”

Everyone fell silent, staring at Jacob like curious cats. You weren’t any different, desperately wanting to know his answer. Jacob never spoke about his dating life. In fact, whenever you asked him if he had a crush on anyone, he would immediately reply no.

Much to your dismay, he didn’t say a word. His lips were shut as he stared around the room like a deer in headlights. 

“So?” Sunwoo pried.

Jacob gulped, his cheeks slowly turning red. And then his eyes landed on yours. When you stared back, he instantly tore his gaze away. But you quickly noticed a pattern. He would look at something, then back at you, at something else, and then back at you.

Your breath hitched. 

Why are you looking at me?

He widened his eyes and adamantly stared at the floor instead. I’m not, You could see him whisper to himself. The two of you always had conversations across the classroom during your high school days, hence your great skill of reading lips.

Jacob, you have to answer.

I can’t—

“It’s Y/n isn’t it?” Eric finally spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows with a knowing look.

His head shot up and his eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t even say anything.”

“You were looking.”

“No, I—“ He groaned, his cheeks reddening further by the minute. “I was looking because I always look for them. Not because I would date them.”

Sunwoo snorted. “Do you hear yourself?”

“What?”

“I always look for them.” 

Jacob froze. And now, he refused to look you in the eye. “I…”

“Hey,” You spoke up with a frown on your face. “He doesn’t want to answer, let him off. It’s obviously not me.”

Jacob’s gaze wandered to yours. There was a sparkle behind his pupils this time, his lips parting as if he’d been keeping a secret all of his life.

“But it is you.”

You inhaled sharply. Tension filled the air, thick enough that even Juyeon stiffened next to you. Eric had grown quiet which was a very rare occurrence and Sunwoo’s jaw was dropped.

You forced yourself to shake out of your trance. Abruptly, you stood up and grabbed your things. 

“We’re leaving.” You forced a weak smile. “Have fun!” You tried to wish a farewell but instead, your voice came out shaky.

You didn’t even need to look back. Jacob was always behind you.

The walk back to your dorm was painfully quiet. You walked down the hallway, your fists painfully clenched as you periodically squinted your eyes and tried to make any sense of what Jacob had just said. You were filled with a jumble of emotions–a wave of immoral anger for Eric to ask such a question to lead up to this situation in the first place, a relief that you finally escaped that tension-filled party, but most of all, confusion over the fact that Jacob, your best friend of multiple years, had just said he would date you.

When you finally reached your dorm, you took in a sharp breath before whipping around. Jacob, who was biting his lip nervously, came to a halt to stare at you almost in… shame. He refused to look you in the eye which began to annoy you, considering the fact that he kept on staring at you when asked that stupid question just previously.

With a frustrated huff, you walked forward, pinned the side of your forearm against his chest, and pushed him against the wall.

“Jacob, look at me,” You warned, your eyebrows furrowing.

He finally did a guilty look on his face much like a puppy’s. “What? And why’re you pinning me to the wall?”

You scowled. “Because.”

“Because?”

“Just shut up,” You groaned. “Did you mean it? What you said.”

He only gazed at you, completely calm. But something was different. His gaze didn’t just keep its place on your eyes. Occasionally, it would slip down to your lips.

You stepped forward, close enough that you could feel his body's warmth against. You tilted your head, trying to intimidate him. But still, he continued to stare at you like you were a bright flower in the midst of a gray landscape.

“Why aren’t you answering?”

“Because you told me to shut up.” A small grin appeared on his lips.

You groaned once again. “Please, just answer. Did you mean it when you said that you would date me? If so, then I…”

What were you going to say? You weren’t even sure yourself. Would you reject him? Or maybe consider changing the whole trajectory of your life?

But this wasn’t just about you. It was about your relationship which was what you feared most. If he said yes, then surely, your relationship would change. In what way, you didn’t know. But you were scared. A bit curious, but mostly terrified–terrified of losing him in some way.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a quiet sigh.

“Of course not.” 

You blinked, looking at him in surprise. 

He laughed. It was a weird laugh though–nervous, almost like he was still hiding something. But you chose not to dwell on it anymore.

“There was no one else I knew, so I just said you to get out of the situation,” He weakly joked. His eyes darted away.

“Oh,” You stuttered, stepping away and letting your arm fall from his chest. You felt a bit weak. Maybe it was from relief that you didn’t have to consider the possibilities if he said yes. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Mhm,” He hummed, his eyes softening. “You should get some rest. It’s dark.”

“Okay.” You smiled. But before he could turn away, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. As an immediate response, he pulled you closer by the waist though he let out a small, confused sound.

“What’s this for?” He squeezed you closer.

“I felt like it.” You nuzzled into his shoulder. Even whilst being surrounded by beer bottles and drunken peers, he still manages to smell good—like a warm cup of sweet tea. You pulled away and peered up at him. “Stay the night?”

He gulped, his eyes widening slightly. “T-to do what?”

You snorted. “To sleep of course. You’re the only one who helps me sleep, you know.”

He followed you inside though he was still hesitant. After the two of you changed into something more comfortable (Jacob even has a change of clothes and a toothbrush in your dorm), you climbed into bed and immediately rested your head on his chest.

“Are you sure you’re in the right state of mind?” He murmured, gently rubbing your side. “You won’t regret this tomorrow?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t drink at all tonight. Why’re you being so cautious all of a sudden?” You pouted. “We always sleep together.”

He hummed. “Just making sure.”

After what you said earlier?

You wouldn’t lie and say that you definitely felt a bit different about asking him to stay over. But he already said that it wasn’t a serious statement. You chose not to think about it any longer, instead choosing to just doze off into his warm embrace. 

He was just your best friend. And a great pillow.

ii.

“I’m going on a date.”

You both hated and loved that phrase. You loved it because it left a thrilling, exciting feeling in your heart. But you mostly loathed it. It left your lips far too many times for your liking. The phrase never ended well. You’ve had a few relationships and obviously, they didn’t work out.

You put much effort into those relationships but never received the same amount. You were always regarded with a weirded-out stare or a quick roll of his eyes. But those were somehow on the higher end of the scale. At the lowest, was when you were insulted and pushed around. It was Jacob who first noticed.

“He’s hurting you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, your fists clenching with denial. “But he apologized. He said he was just in a bad mood.”

Jacob frowned and took your hands in his, gently spreading your fingers to relax your fists. “No one in a bad mood should insult you or call you names.”

You gulped, tears starting to well up in your eyes. You knew that Jacob was right yet you were afraid of letting go of someone that held so many bright and fun memories.

“Love is hard,” You whispered. 

“It is,” He sighed. “But I’m always here for you.”

You exhaled shakily. You ran through multiple scenarios and possibilities. Some of the imaginary outcomes were positive but most were negative.

“It’s your choice if you want to stay with him. But promise me that if you’re ever hurt, just come find me,” He spoke softly. His hand gently came up to your cheek and wiped a stray tear away. It was at that moment that you realized what true care felt like. It was in the way he never pushed you into making a choice. It was in the way he promised you that he would be there for you. It was in the way his fingertips brushed against your skin.

That was what true care was.

And because of that realization, the very next day, you appeared outside of Jacob’s dorm room with a proud smile on your face.

“We broke up.”

His eyes widened and you could tell he was searching your face for any trace of tears. “Did he–”

“No, I did.”

His expression melted into a softer one. “I’m proud of you.” His lips pulled into a soft smile as he pulled you into his dorm and hugged you to the point that you had to repeatedly shove him until he let go.

“With who?” Jacob looked up from his computer. He watched nonchalantly as you started discarding your coat and bag on his bed. It was normal for you to crash at each other’s dorms. It was so normal that some people had even assumed that you were roommates. That didn’t make sense since there’s only one bed.

You reached into your bag and started pulling out the outfit you chose. “This guy in my literature class. He asked me first and he seems sweet.” He had a kind smile and he was polite. He even helped you pick up your books when you clumsily dropped them on the floor.

He was almost like Jacob. Though Jacob could go to… concerningly high extents sometimes. He tended to drop anything, even if it was a glass cup if he noticed that you were hurt or upset. 

But still, this man who asked you out seemed better than your other dates. It wouldn’t hurt to try. 

Jacob nodded, turning back to his computer while you used his bathroom to change into your date outfit. 

A few minutes later, you open the door and walk out. You don’t even bother to twirl or ask him about his thoughts as you were too busy digging through your bag for your wallet. But then you paused, interrupted by a sharp intake from none other than your best friend.

He was staring at you with his eyes round and his cheeks slightly colored. His gaze wandered down before coming back up to your eyes, his body utterly frozen.

“What?” You asked in confusion. “Does it look bad?”

“No!” He blurted out suddenly. He teared his eyes away, clearing his throat. “It’s just… different.”

You peered at him nervously. Why was he acting so weird? “In a good way or a bad way?”

“Good,” He breathed. He gave you a small yet sweet smile. “You look beautiful.”

“Oh.” Your frown quickly widened into a grin. “Thank you.”

After finally confirming that you did not forget your wallet, you took a seat beside Jacob on his bed. He used to be focused on his computer but it seemed that after you changed outfits, his eyes were darting elsewhere. He was losing his composure for some reason.

You let out a long sigh, rubbing your thighs with the palms of your hands. “Cobie, I’m nervous.” 

He turned to you with a soft look in his eyes. He even shut off his computer, turning his undivided attention to you. “Why?”

You pouted as memories came flooding back of your past relationships. It was always you who was left alone, broken into pieces until Jacob came along to put you together and patch you up. After your failed dates, you began to lose confidence in being able to keep anyone in your life, even if it was someone as loyal as your best friend. 

He always reassured you though.

“I won’t leave you.”

You laughed bitterly through your tears. “How do you know that?” 

After disappearing for almost the whole day, Jacob finally found you, sitting in the dark corner of your closet. You remembered him crouching down next to you and tucking a tear-soaked strand of hair out of your face.

“Because I don’t think that in any universe or timeline, I could stand being torn away from you.” He smiled.

You frowned, blinking away the tears that continued to trail down your cheeks. “Even if I’m undesirable?”

He looked at you taken aback. “Who told you that?”

“Him,” You whispered. Another one of your past dates that didn’t end well. When you had asked him why—why he didn’t want you, he began to list heart-wrenching words that still spun in your head. “He wouldn’t even hug me back because I’m undesirable or whatever.”

And in just a second, you felt a pair of strong arms being wrapped around you.

You inhaled shakily.

“You’re hugging me.”

He hummed and nodded, placing a hand on the back of your head to pull you in closer if that was even possible.

“Because you’re not undesirable. I will always want to hug you. And care for you. And lo—“

He cut himself off. You were too exhausted from crying to figure out what he was going to say anyway.

“Just because,” You sighed. “It’s been so long since I started dating again. What if I mess up?”

“You won’t,” He immediately replied. “You’ll do amazing. Just be yourself.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Easier said than done.” You could feel Jacob wince beside you because he already knew what you were talking about–how even if you acted like yourself, you were never accepted or loved enough.

“Sorry.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be.” You looked down to play with your fingers nervously. Multiple scenarios began to play through your head like a jumbled-up movie. What if you laughed at something he said when it wasn’t meant to be a joke? What if you blurted out your deepest darkest secret and caused him to look at you weirdly? What if–

“What if he kisses me?”

Jacob froze, turning to you in disbelief. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Well, one of the things I’m worried about,” You mumbled, shrugging.

He searched your eyes as if to make sure you weren’t joking. Which, you definitely weren’t, as your jaw clenched unsurely. 

This time, his tone was softer and more gentle. “Are you not confident?”

You sighed, slightly embarrassed. “No– I don’t know, maybe? I just don’t want to… disappoint.”

You can see a small smirk appear on Jacob’s lips. “I’m sure you won’t.”

“How would you know?” Your eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I just assumed,” He whispered. And you could have sworn his eyes darted down to your lips for a split second. Then, he took in a deep breath and scooted just a bit closer, facing you so that your knees touched. He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve kissed before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Not enough to be good if that’s what you’re wondering.”

He seemed to be deep in thought before something shifted in his gaze and his lips parted to ask you something. It wasn’t teasing anymore, nor was it questioning. It was a serious look in his eyes, almost heart-stopping, as he stared at you as if to contemplate if what he was about to ask would change anything. And it definitely did, as it was already sending you choking on air.

“Want to practice?”

“With who?” You stared at him, acting innocent as if you didn’t already know what he meant.

“With me.”

“Oh,” You breathed. You didn’t know why but in the deepest part of yourself, reserved only for the most important secrets, you knew that your heart thumped erratically when he spoke those two words. “I mean– okay. I-I guess.” 

He was just doing it as a friend.

He smiled softly and you watched as his hand very slowly came up to cup your cheek. He leaned in but stopped just before your lips connected. You peeked an eye open–yes, you already shut your eyes–and stared at him in perplexion.

A corner of his lips lifted. He must have already noticed your eagerness.

“Promise me, you’ll tell me if you don’t want to do this.” He looked you in the eyes, searching you with almost what you could tell was affection. 

You nodded quietly.

He seemed confident but you could tell he was feeling nervous too with the way he swallowed thickly and his eyes darted across your features unsurely.

“Can I kiss you?” was his final question.

“Yes,” You whispered.

And then he leaned forward, attaching his lips to yours. You felt your heart stop before it came back to life again, this time, much faster than before. Your eyes carefully fluttered shut as you allowed yourself to melt into his touch. His hand stayed on your cheek, gently caressing your skin with his thumb as he slowly kissed you, almost as if he was savoring the moment.

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t also want to savor the moment.

You let out a small involuntary sound once it registered in your brain that he was deepening the kiss further. He tilted his head and soon enough, his hand was leaving your cheek, trailing down your side, and grasping onto your waist. You gasped and furrowed your eyebrows in concentration.

You were lost. Completely lost from the fact that this was supposed to be a practice kiss for your future date. That kind man from your literature class was long gone from your mind. Instead, every coherent thought of yours was replaced with one single person. Your best friend. The person you were kissing right now. 

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.

“Jacob,” You rasped in between kisses. 

Even though your hands rested on his chest, creating some sort of distance, you didn’t make any further move to end the kiss. You felt butterflies erupt every time his hand ever so caressed your side.

“Hm?” He kissed you like he meant it. He kissed you like he actually loved you and that was what sent you reeling.

Shivers traveled down your spine once his hand wandered from your waist down to your lower back. The warmth of his palm and fingers splayed across your skin as it slowly lifted up the fabric of your outfit, leaving cool air to make its way through. 

That small breeze was what sent you out of your trance and what led you to finally pull away. 

“I think- I think that’s enough,” You panted, your heart rate refusing to go down.

Your lips felt sore and almost bitten and when you looked up to meet Jacob’s eyes, he was staring, stunned yet with a slight smug expression.

“Yeah,” He whispered. It took him a while for him to let go of the small of your back. “Sorry.” 

You huffed out a laugh, patting at your cheeks to let them cool down. “Sorry for what?”

He smiled shyly. “I got carried away.”

You snorted. You were glad that there wasn’t any lingering awkwardness after that… kiss no matter how oddly real and passionate it felt. “Am I at least a good kisser? Am I set for the date?”

It looked like he was just shocked by lightning. “Your date. Yes, your date.”

You stared at him with confusion. “My… date. That’s what we were practicing for.”

He gulped and nodded quietly. “Yeah, yeah.” And then he leaned in again. But this time, he positioned him right by your ear, his breath that you just recently felt shuddering against your lips, now lingering on your earlobe. You hated yourself for closing your eyes and bracing for a kiss. What were you thinking? You swallowed nervously.

“You’re a great kisser, just as I thought.”

You resisted the urge to choke on air. “Th-thank you,” You blurted stupidly before abruptly standing up to grab your bag and aiming to run out the door.

But he stopped you, gently taking your hand and pulling you back.

“What?” You squeaked, your hands growing sweaty and your heart speeding up for the nth time.

“It’s a bit…” You felt his fingers brush against your skin once again, creating flashbacks back to the kiss. You heard the sound of the zipper on the back of your outfit being zipped up. Since when was it undone? You were pretty sure you pulled it all the way.

“My fault,” He teased. So it was him who unzipped it.

“Perv.” You tried to elbow him. But of course, he caught your arm and turned you around. 

“Have fun on your date,” He smiled gently.

You breathed out shakily. “Okay.”

—

You were not having fun. Well, your date was all but a gentleman. He pulled the chair out for you, shielded you from incoming cars, and everything. But you couldn’t help but let your mind wander, distracted by the fact that Jacob already did all this anyway.

You were also distracted by the kiss. You could still feel the sensation of his lips moving fervently against yours and the warmth of his hand moving up your back and unzipping your outfit unnoticeably. You still wondered why he did that in the first place.

The two of you stopped on the trail that beautifully looked out to the sea. It was the perfect scene—the kind man in front of you, waiting for something. More specifically, a kiss. You could just lean in and kiss him right now but you… couldn’t.

“May I?” The man's voice interrupted your rushing thoughts.

“What?” You dumbly replied.

“You know.” He grinned shyly and stepped forward.

“Oh, I—“ You cleared your throat. Why wasn’t your heart beating fast like it did with your best friend of all people? Why didn’t your cheeks feel warm like how they did when Jacob looked at you with such a soft gaze? Maybe you were just going crazy, you figured. Maybe after this kiss, everything would go back to how it was. “Okay.”

But just as the man was leaning in, you suddenly planted your hands on his chest, pushing him away. When the man stared at you in alarm, you stuttered, “S-sorry. I actually don’t think we can.”

His expression saddened. “Why not?”

You didn’t know either. You could only offer a pathetic shrug.

“I just don’t think we’ll work out.”

His jaw clenched but he eventually stepped back. “Alright then, I guess. Want a ride home?” 

You gave him a weak smile and shook your head. “It’s fine. I’m sorry.”

He never accepted your apology.

—

When you called Jacob to pick you up, he looked you over in worry.

“Did something happen? Did he break it off with you? What—“ He didn’t even start driving, rather he parked and turned his attention to you.

You laughed and shook your head. “We didn’t kiss. And it was me who ended it.”

He frowned. “It was only your first date.”

“I know but I decided not to look for anyone right now. I’d rather just stick with you.” You smiled sweetly. Jacob replied with an incoherent sound as he abruptly turned away to stare out the window.

“That’s fine with me,” He muttered, his ears red even under dark evening light.

You huffed out a quiet laugh and sat back in the car seat. Jacob started driving, the low hum of the engine lulling you to sleep. Slowly, you shut your eyes and let out a content sigh. “I’m tired.”

“From what?” He mused.

You grinned to yourself. “From kissing you. You’re quite the rough kisser.” You paused. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it of course.”

And thank god for your seatbelt because, for some odd reason, Jacob suddenly slammed on the brakes.

But even after that throwaway comment, the two of you never spoke about the kiss again. Except, speaking and thinking are two different things. For the next coming days, you thought about the kiss again, and again, and again, even if it didn’t turn into something more.

iii.

“So you really didn’t kiss?” Jacob questioned a few days later. The two of you walked down the main street of your campus, window shopping and sipping on warm lattes. It was the perfect day, slightly chilly with clear skies. You loved moments like these–the ones where all you could do was chatter about random things that came up in your mind and Jacob would always listen intently. 

“No, we really didn’t.” You rolled your eyes. If you peered just a bit closer, you could see a wave of relief wash over his face.

As the two of you walked together and as more time passed by, you began to realize that what you and Jacob had wasn’t the most normal friendship. You had other friends too and you certainly did not act like how you did with Jacob. You glanced down to where you two were literally holding hands, intertwined fingers and all.

“So you don’t get lost,” Jacob whispered when the two of you graduated together. “I can’t lose you.”

Your mind wandered back to when Jacob fixed your hair oh so gently after it had gotten just the slightest bit messy from the wind.

“Why do you always fix my hair for me?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I like it when you look up at me when I do,” Jacob teased, pinching your cheek. “Your puppy eyes.”

You always thought he was just joking, but the more you thought about it, the more it felt like he meant it. He always seemed to love yet hate eye contact. Sometimes, he would stare back with a soft, admiration-filled gaze. Other times, he would tear his gaze away because he was flustered.

There was also the jealousy. You weren’t a blind fool to never notice it. He was always supportive of your dates and he always comforted you whenever they didn’t work out. But for some reason, what really ticked him off was physical touch by any guy that’s not him.

“What were you doing with him?” Jacob had asked you when he walked in on you hugging one of your classmates.

You widened your eyes. “Well he– he lended me some notes that I missed, that’s all.”

“And that earned him a hug?” Jacob’s eyes, ironically turned into those irresistible puppy eyes.

You stared at him in awe. “Are you…?”

Jacob gulped. “No.”

And that was the first time Jacob asked you to fall asleep on him instead of the other way around. You would never complain though. His chest was very comfortable.

Then there was the kiss. 

It was one. You never kissed him again after. And at the moment, it seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do. In your mind, you thought he was just offering you an opportunity to practice. 

But every time you thought of it at night and in your dreams, you began to realize that it was anything but practice. There was no need for him to caress your side, cup your cheek so gently, tilt his head for a better angle, and for him to deepen the kiss.

Your friendship wasn’t a typical one. It was something more. Yet, you didn’t know what to do with it.

You turned to look at him, wondering if studying his features would give you a clearer answer. But much to your surprise, Jacob was already staring back. There was a small smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling as he looked—as he looked at you.

“Why?” You blurted out.

“Why what?” 

“Why do you always stare at me?”

He paused in his tracks. It took you a moment to realize that it was really only the two of you on the sidewalk. The sun had already set and so everyone had gone home. He turned to you, pulling you closer, causing you to stumble slightly. He then brought your connected hands up to his chest. You inhaled quietly once it registered in your head that you could feel his erratic heartbeat. You looked up at him, searching for any sort of answer. Yet he still remained like a book in a completely different language that you didn’t understand.

“Because you never fail to take my breath away.”

Your heart felt like it was caught in your throat. And as dumb as it may seem, you looked down at yourself, wondering if you had dressed up in a particular way for him to say that. But then you felt a gentle hand on your cheek, turning your attention back up. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Always,” He replied quietly as if he read your mind. “You always, always take my breath away. Even on the day you fell asleep on me in high school. Even when you say that you look bad, I think you’re beautiful.”

“Jacob… I—“ You stopped once you felt a stinging cold on the very tip of your nose. It was a snowflake, you soon realized. You used to love it when it snowed, up until you found out that you had a horrible tolerance for cold. But who was it who took care of you when sick? It was always Jacob. It was always him who wrapped you up in blankets and cuddled you, even when you warned him that he would also get sick.

His eyes filled with worry as he glanced up at the sky. “Let’s run before it gets too slippery.” He smiled mischievously, grasping your hand once more and leading you toward your dorm. You laughed loudly, trying to catch up with him. 

“Too fast!” You complained.

He turned back to look at you and oh, how handsome he looked even while running. That pretty smile with his bright, even prettier eyes. “I don’t want you to get sick,” He replied, accompanied by a cute laugh. “Do you want me to carry you?”

You flushed and shook your head immediately. “Let’s just keep running,” You huffed, allowing Jacob to lead the way. 

The whole run back was filled with giggles and giddy smiles. You couldn’t have it any other way. The two of you, panting, finally managed to burst into your dorm. There was this exhilarating feeling in your chest. No matter if you stopped running or not, you would feel so… out of breath. It could be because of Jacob, it could be the beautiful snow, or it could just be the constant pounding of your heart. It could be all three.

You finally let go of Jacob’s hand, completely missing how he instinctively chased after your touch. Then, you stepped away to brush off the snowflakes that’s built up on your coat. Once you were sure that you were free from looking like a sugar-powdered donut, you looked up to where Jacob had already closed the door and was leaning against it.

His hair was messy, but what caught your eye the most, were the flurries of snow trapped between his locks. Somehow, he made looking like a sugar-powdered donut a good thing. He grinned at you with slightly rosy cheeks and gentle, gentle eyes.

He looked attractive. Since when did he look so attractive? You weren’t completely unaware that he was a fairly good-looking guy, but with the way his coat slipped off one shoulder and how his smile shot straight for your heart, you began to realize he was a lot more than just good-looking.

You were frozen, your arms straight at your sides, completely distracted by your best friend’s smile and the annoying thump of a heart–specifically, yours. 

And one would think that he was looking at you, weirded out by your staring. But instead, he was gazing at you just the same. And this time, you had an explanation for all those lingering, soft looks he would give you for the many years that you’ve been friends. His words rang in your ears.

Always. You always, always take my breath away.

His smile slowly fell and before you could even register the way his gaze fell away from your eyes and downwards, he was walking towards you and cupping your face. Not even a second later, you felt a pair of lips being pressed against yours. 

And just like before, your eyelids were already fluttering shut. This time though, you stayed without movement, simply allowing him to kiss you ever so gently and lovingly.

When he pulled away, that was when it finally hit you. You didn’t have a date to practice for, nor was this some sort of dare. Jacob, your best friend of multiple years, just kissed you on his own accord.

You brought the back of your hand up to your lips, staring at him in startlement. “Why’d you do that?” Your voice came out weak.

“What?” He blinked, and you could see how his cheeks began to flush. “Oh, I just– you know, in case you were thinking of going on another date with another literature class guy. It would be good practice since I know that you’re nervous so I just– I kissed you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Is that really it?”

He gulped, his eyes searching yours before he sighed. “I’m sorry. You just looked really pretty.”

“You kissed me because I looke–”

“Yes,” He blurted out, wincing. “And I’m sorry. That was stupid of me and I should have asked before and now you think that I’m–”

“Jacob.” You stepped forward, placing your hands on his shoulders. “Jacob.”

His eyes softened. “Yeah?”

“Be completely honest,” You looked him straight in the eyes. However, it began to feel a bit hard not to let your gaze fall to his lips because my god, was he a good kisser.

“I just was,” He muttered shyly.

You huffed. “Not that. I know you already answered that question. You kissed me because I looked pretty, which thank you, by the way.” You batted your eyes teasingly. Jacob let out an incoherent sound and tried to look away. But instead, you cupped his cheek and turned his attention back. “I have another one.”

He frowned, which would be a sorrowful sight if it wasn’t for the fact that he was blushing like crazy right now. You held back a smile.

“Do you like me?”

Jacob’s eyes widened. “What?” He squawked.

The puzzle pieces were already coming together for a while now. The longing gazes, acts of kindness, his occasional kisses (definitely not normal)–you knew there was a root to all those. But you still had that small feeling of insecurity. Well, up until now. That kiss just confirmed everything.

“Do you like me?” You repeated. “Last time, when you said that you would date me, you weren’t lying. You meant it, didn’t you?”

“I…” He trailed off. The room was dead silent. All you could do now was see, smell, and feel. You could see Jacob’s eyelashes as they fluttered when he blinked profusely, trying to come up with some sort of excuse. You could smell his cologne, which always smelled good especially when you buried your face into his chest. And you could feel his hand hovering just over your wrist.

He let out a low sigh and he looked you in the eye, his gaze nervous yet filled with something new–hope.

“I did,” He finally whispered. “I meant it. I would love to date you. And I like you. So much and for a very long time now.”

And even with all that evidence that you’ve thought about late at night, you still couldn’t help but be taken aback. You swallowed thickly and took a step back. “Oh.” It all felt real now. Deep down, you were hoping that he denied it. You wouldn’t have to actually think about your feelings for him like you had to do now. You weren’t prepared for this.

“I– I was just curious,” You stuttered. But that hand that was hovering over your waist suddenly grasped it and pulled you close. You yelped quietly before finding yourself right up against your best friend’s chest.

“And you don’t have an answer?” He asked, his voice teasing yet trembled slightly. 

“Why do you need an answer?” Your heart thumped.

He hummed, his eyes glinting with mischievousness. “I want to know. You’re the one who brought this up anyway.” 

“Yeah, well–” You inhaled sharply when you felt a hand on the side of your face, cautiously tucking a piece of hair back. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” He looked you over in a way that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. And for some reason, it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. You’ve felt this before, multiple times, which was what baffled you even more.

You didn’t know when it started happening and you didn’t want to dwell on it either, but everytime he ever so smiled or placed his hands on you, you felt that weird thing in your stomach. All the recent times that you’ve cuddled and fell asleep with him began to do just the same. Sometimes, you couldn’t even fall asleep because your heart was beating too fast. The only way you could fall asleep was by pressing your ear to his chest and counting his heartbeats.

Jacob quickly noticed your silence and hesitance. His voice quieted down to that caring version that he always used when you were on the verge of falling asleep—whether that be on his shoulder or chest.

“Y/n,” He gently spoke, grabbing your attention.

“What?” You winced.

“I’m sorry if I pressured you or anything. You don’t have to answer right n—“

“I like you too.”

His breath hitched. You couldn’t see his expression though, as you had shut your eyes with a grimace.

“Oh,” He breathed. You heard him step closer. “You do? You… like me too?”

“Yes,” You whispered in a small voice.

And yet again, your stomach did that funny thing because when you opened your eyes, Jacob’s face was a lot closer than before. He had a shy yet cautious smile on his face as he watched you silently.

“So…” He tilted his head expectantly. “We both share feelings. It’s up to you what you want to do now.”

This wasn’t even the bad part, you realized. It was the next words that left your lips that was.

“Nothing, let’s just move on.”

Immediately, it was like something had stabbed him in the heart and oh, did it feel the same for you. You bit your lip, willing your tears to go away. All you wanted to do was reach for his hand and pull him in and let everything else fold out naturally. But no, you stayed back against the wall, refusing to look him in the eye.

“What?” He muttered, a clear look of confusion in his eyes. 

Your voice wavered as you forced sounds out of your clenched-up throat. “I said, that we should just move on.”

He let out a breath in disbelief. “Why? Is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong? If so, I’ll fix it. Is it because I didn’t let you borrow my hoodie that one time? I’ll let you borrow it whenever you want from now on.”

“It’s not,” You cried, your heart aching at the fact that he still tries to take the blame. “I want to be more with you, Jacob. I just can’t. It’s my fault, not yours.”

He fell quiet, watching you with care. “What’s stopping you?”

“Me,” You shamefully replied. “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid?” He inquired quietly. “Of what?”

“Of taking you for granted. I don’t want to possibly lose you and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” He frowned. 

“But I should.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Because what if I push you away, then what?”

He looked like he was going to say something else but he ultimately swallowed his words and let out a low sigh. “Okay,” He whispered. “I understand.”

You felt the need to apologize over and over again. You hated the look on his face as he tried to hide the pain he was feeling. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” You began to say over and over again. “It’s not because of you. It’s—“

“I know.” He gave you a soft look. He always remembered and could always tell when you were sensitive about a past relationship, no matter if it was just a fling or not.

He slowly stepped forward again and he carefully rested his palm on the back of your hand. When you didn’t flinch or pull away, he gently wrapped his fingers around your hand, holding it firmly.

“So why did you tell me?” He finally asked. “If you didn’t want this to go further.”

You tightened your hands into fists—a nervous habit you had. But, he was quick to soothe them back open as he quietly whispered a small, “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I don’t— I don’t know.” You paused. “In a perfect world, you’re aware of my feelings and we go further. But that’s in a perfect world. I just thought… if I told you it might magically happen but it didn’t and that’s stupid, I know.”

Jacob never took his eyes off you and he never pulled his hand away. That’s what you liked so much about him. He never failed to be your anchor, the one to ground you when you felt like floating away.

What confused you though, was that he wasn’t saying anything. He seemed to be deep in thought as if he were changing his mind about something. But, he wasn’t changing his mind about his feelings for you. You could tell by the way his eyebrows furrowed slightly when you tried to hide away from his soft gaze and by the way he never let you clench your fists, holding both of your hands tightly but never enough to hurt.

You were lost in his eyes—those who have seen you at your best and lowest. He’d seen you smile and come running into his arms and he’d seen you cry and break down until you fell asleep in his embrace.

“Then I’ll wait for you.”

You inhaled sharply and widened your eyes. “What?”

“I’ll wait for you,” He repeated, a small yet reassuring smile on his lips. “That perfect world you talked about–it’s a possibility, right? So I’ll wait. I’ll wait for your perfect world to come.”

“Jacob.” You stared at him unsurely. He didn’t even know when that would happen. You didn’t even know either. So why was he so sure of waiting for you?

He leaned in and you felt a hand leave yours. And almost like he read your mind, you felt the warmth of his palm on the side of your cheek, caressing it soothingly.

“No matter how long it takes.”

Your brain was rushing with a million red warning signs. Multiple questions threatened to spill out of your mouth yet the only one that could leave was a choked, “why?”

“Because all I want is for you to be happy. Why should we rush when it means you won’t be happy? That’s all that matters to me.”

“But you—“ You let out a frustrated sigh. “You might lose interest. Or what if we do get together and something happens and—“

He grinned. “You’re thinking too far ahead. Didn’t I tell you I would wait?”

You grumbled, yet the weight in your heart lightened at the change in the surrounding mood.

“Whenever you’re ready, we can talk about this again,” He said. “In the meantime, we can go back to what we were before.”

You rolled your eyes and bit back a shy smile. “Okay.”

“And…” His eyes sparkled as he leaned forward. Immediately, as if on instinct, you shut your eyes and expected a kiss on the lips. Instead, though you felt him press one on the very top of your forehead, almost as if that was his final move of showing how much he respected you. “If you ever decide to go further, I promise that I will be good for you. I’ll be so, so good for you.”

That was when your legs began to feel like jelly. You could feel yourself melt and your brain go fuzzy. 

But just as you expected, Jacob was always there to catch you.

+ 1

It was one thing to be best friends with Jacob and another thing to be best friends with a guy who recently confessed his feelings for you. No matter how hard you tried to bring things back to normal, it was of no use.

Every smile, which would be a normal thing whenever you crack a joke, now was a smile that caught you off guard and made you stumble over your words. Whenever he touched you somehow, whether if it was simply to guide you down a sidewalk or to pull you into a hug, you felt a spark that never quite left you until you fell asleep.

But still, despite the many times your heart had beaten towards Jacob, you could never find the courage to take things further. Even so, he always made it clear that he would wait.

“You can stop waiting,” You once blurted out when you noticed him hesitating to grasp your hand. 

He looked at you in slight alarm before softening his expression. This time, without hesitation, he took hold of your hand, pulling it into his lap so that he could play with your fingers, bending them and squeezing them.

“Tell me the reason first. Then I’ll decide.” He eyed you knowingly.

You blushed and looked away. However, you never made a move to pull your hand away.

“Just… I feel bad,” You muttered. “It must be awkward or difficult. So you can just leave if this is bothering you.”

“Ah,” He breathed. He didn’t say anything after that, instead turning his attention back to your hand.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and turned to him. “So you’re going to stop waiting?” 

He smirked slightly before shaking his head. “No.”

You gaped at him, pulling your hand away in shock. “What?” You stammered. “But I just said–”

Your words were cut off by Jacob taking your hand and instead of bringing it back into his lap, he brought it up to your lips and left a soft kiss on the back of it. You immediately choked on your spit as you blinked, flustered.

“So your reason is that you’re worried that I might get impatient, correct?” He looked up to you, smiling.

You nodded your head, too lost for words.

“Then that’s not a valid reason,” He whispered. He set your hand back down, but still held it in his lap. “If you feel uncomfortable, then I will stop waiting. But me? You don’t have to worry about me.” He leaned in, staring at you completely endeared. You tried to glance away. “Like I said, I’ll always wait. No matter how long it takes.”

You breathed out shakily before nodding.

It always ended like that. It didn’t matter how hard you tried to convince him to give up, he would always come back to you like a lost puppy.

Jacob also started to take care of you more. At first, you thought it was some way to win you over like your exes liked to do right after an argument. But, over time, you began to realize that his actions were genuine, though silent and hard to notice.

“I’m hungry,” You mumbled to yourself one day. Jacob was walking behind you, seeming busy on his phone. Turns out, he wasn’t, because a few hours later, you found a bag of food placed at the entrance of your door. 

Or, the other time when you just finished up your upcoming assignments and could barely walk straight with how exhausted you were. All you could remember was a pair of worried eyes that belonged to Jacob who was guiding you to bed. When you woke up, you were wrapped comfortably in blankets and most of all, his sweater that seemed to magically appear on you.

And then there was that one time. The most important of all.

“Which one is better?” You asked, holding up two scarves for your classmate to see. She peered at it curiously before pointing at the one in your left hand.

“Who’s it for?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

You scoffed, putting the other one back on the shelf. “Jacob.”

“Are you really sure that you two aren’t a thing?” 

You hesitated before shrugging weakly. “It’s complicated.” You tossed the scarf into the cart before turning away, yawning. On nights when Jacob was too busy to visit your dorm, you never were able to sleep well. “I’m going to order a cup of coffee, I’ll be right back.”

You stretched your limbs and walked over to the nearby coffee shop. Buying gifts was a hard task, especially when it came to Jacob. He always made these intricately crafted gift baskets for you, filled with everything you could possibly want. 

“Y/n?” A gruff voice called out to you.

You froze in place. You recognized that voice and oh, how you despised it. Still, you plastered on a smile and turned in the voice’s direction.

“Hey, it’s… you.” You looked the man over. He was the ex who stated so bluntly that you were undesirable. He certainly looked worse for wear—dark circles under his eyes, clothes with unknown stains on them, and an unkind sneer.

“How’ve you been?” He took a step forward. You were quick to backtrack, your fists clenched.

“Fine,” You forced out. “You?”

“Could be better.” He shrugged. Something suddenly shifted in his gaze though, as he looked at you differently. It was in a way that made you feel sick to your stomach, as opposed to the butterflies that would appear when you two were still together. “Listen,” He started. “I’m going to get straight to the point.”

You stared at him, perplexed.

“Get together with me again.”

You jerked away, your hands coming up defensively. “What?”

“You heard me. I’m sorry that you got offended by my words before…”

You scoffed. And he still won’t apologize.

“…but after we split, I realized how much I missed you. C’mon sweetheart, you know you feel the same, hm?”

You felt like you were about to throw up as you glared at him in disbelief. “Do you hear yourself right now?”

The man feigned innocence. 

“Okay, I guess not. And I don’t have the energy to explain it to someone like you,” You spat. “So no. My answer is no. Besides, I have a boyfriend.”

That last sentence you sort of didn’t think through… but everything else you’ve practically perfected after rehearsing it with Jacob many times before. 

“If you ever see him again, promise you’ll tell me,” Jacob muttered, his fingers trailing circles on your arm. It was late at night and you could barely keep your eyes open. But, it was always at this time that Jacob became sentimental and protective.

“Okay,” You whispered, your voice muffled in his chest. “Don’t worry, I’m over him.”

“That’s good.” You could hear him breathe out in relief. “And if he ever wants something from you, say no. You deserve so much more than he can ever give you.”

You smiled and snuggled closer to your best friend’s warmth. “Okay, okay. In love with me or something?” 

“...go to sleep,” He mumbled, pulling the blankets closer over your figure. Completely forgetting the fact that he never answered your question, you peeked over his shoulder and realized that he was barely covered. 

You frowned. “You’ll get cold.”

And instead of readjusting the blankets, he tightened his arms around you, burying his face into your neck. “I won’t.”

“Boyfriend?” Your ex’s jaw clenched scarily. “What do you mean boyfriend? Who?”

You gulped but still lifted your head high. “Jacob,” You lied straight through your teeth. 

The man’s sneer only grew further as his eyes narrowed. “Of course,” He hissed. “Of course it’s always him.”

You nodded slowly, slightly confused of his response. “Yeah, so…” You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the sight of the man, red-faced and with almost smoke coming out of his ears.

“Just leave,” The man grunted. “I’m fine.”

“I never asked if you were fine.” You suppressed a laugh which quickly fell short when he snapped his head towards you in a warning. “Okay, okay,” You snorted. “Have a great day!” You waved and ran away before the man could explode once more.

As you walked back in the direction of your classmate, you couldn’t help but smile stupidly to yourself. To be truthfully honest, you were always terrified for this day to come. That you would run into one of your failed dates and absolutely freeze up, making a complete fool out of yourself. That was what you thought for the longest time.

But now, you realized that the interaction you just had was a lot easier than you thought. Sure, it left your heart seizing nervously, but after having someone–Jacob–stay by your side everytime even a single tear left your eye, you realized that you were healed.

–

You swung the bag in your hand, smiling brightly. You’ve never felt so happy before. Your eyes wandered across all the stores, casually window shopping until you suddenly came to a stop. 

You squinted your eyes and stepped closer. There, on the display of one of the most famously expensive jewelry stores, was the necklace worn on your very neck–the exact same one that Jacob had gifted you. You peered in and spotted the price tag. That was when you stumbled back, slapping your hand over your mouth.

You stared in astonishment at the necklace. “He said that it wasn’t expensive…”

But of course, it was always Jacob who said not to worry about him. You sighed all too knowingly though you couldn’t help but bite back the smile that was forming on your lips. 

Just as you were busy admiring the bracelet just like you’ve done many times before, you heard your phone ring. 

“Jacob?” 

“Y/n,” He sounded breathless. Almost like he was… running. “Where are you?”

You blinked in confusion. “Where are you?”

“The park. Are you–” 

You accidentally hung up. You winced and whispered a quiet sorry before heading to the local park.

–

It’s a common occurrence for Jacob to find you wandering around the park, clearing your mind after hours of studying. It was not a common occurrence for you to find Jacob standing in a secluded garden area, looking around frantically for something–someone.

You bounded over to him, ready to greet him cheerily. But, as soon as his eyes landed on you, he was immediately reaching forward and pulling you into his arms. 

“Oh,” You breathed stiffly. His hold was tight and protective, yet you had no idea why.

He pulled away and looked you over worriedly. His eyes were soft and his hands held gently onto your shoulders. “Are you okay?” He asked. Then, his hands came up to your cheeks as if to check for invisible tears. “Did he hurt you?”

You stared at the man in alarm, your lips parted in confusion. “Who?”

“Your ex.” 

Your mouth fell further open. “How’d you know I met him today?”

Jacob sighed and pulled out his phone. “I got a text.” You couldn’t help but melt at his small, worried pout. “He said that he had just talked to you and sent you home crying.”

You blinked. And then you snorted, much to Jacob’s surprise.

“That weirdo said that?” You laughed. “He did not. I was the one who sent him home. He’s bluffing!”

And even though the man in front of you looked slightly embarrassed, you could tell that he was relieved. He stepped forward and pulled you back into a hug, his hand stroking the back of his head. “Thank god. I thought you were hurt.”

You shook your head, smiling as you listened to his beating heartbeat. “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

It was you who pulled away first but it quickly became a regret. You so badly wanted to melt back into his arms. You’ve never been treated with so much care before–the way he held your face so gently to make sure you weren’t crying and how he held you close. God, how he made you swoon.

You cleared your throat, completely forgetting that you were staring in awe into your best friend’s eyes. Jacob smiled shyly.

“So!” You blurted, playing nervously with the sleeves of your coat. “What brings you to the park? You never come here.”

Jacob seemed to choke on something. Hm, you didn’t remember seeing him eating anything. He glanced around and you quickly noticed how red his ears had gotten.

“Oh, I–I was on a run and this was part of the… route.”

“Really?” You wondered, looking around. This area of the park was more closed off though, surrounded by more plants than people. “Interesting.”

“Yeah,” He laughed nervously.

It grew awkwardly silent then. The two of you were simply facing each other without anything to say or do. But that silence gave you more time to observe and notice the small details like how Jacob’s hair was tousled in multiple directions, meaning he wasn’t running in one straight path, but rather on multiple. His shoes were untied, which didn’t make any sense with his run, but instead showed that he was in a hurry. And then there was the phone call. The first thing he asked was where you were and as soon as you met up with him, it was like he was looking for…

“You were looking for me,” You breathed in realization. “You ran here because you were looking for me.”

Jacob’s cheeks immediately reddened as he stared at you like a deer caught in headlights. He winced as he tried to avoid eye contact. You leaned forward, making him breathe in sharply.

“I…” He sighed in defeat. It seemed like your best direction was simple eye contact. “Fine, I was looking for you. I was worried about you.”

Your eyes softened as you reached a hand up to fix his messy hair. “Why? You know that I can take care of myself.”

He frowned and you couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked when he was protective. “Still. I hate to see you hurt.”

You smiled, endeared. “Oh, Jacob…”

“Ever since you told me that you were afraid that one day, I wanted to take care of you more. And I’m sorry,” He whispered, slightly leaning into the touch of your hand. “I’m sorry if I intruded too much or made you uncomfortable. I promise that I’ll step back if you want. Or if you–”

He let out a muffled sound though, as you grabbed his collar and pulled him in to plant a kiss onto one of his cheeks. When you peeked an eye open, you smiled when you realized that his eyes were wide open in shock. Stifling a laugh, you pulled back and softly poked the spot that you just kissed.

“Wha… you…” He stared at you, completely dazed. Then, he giggled, completely flustered, as his hand came up to touch where you had just kissed.

You finally let that laugh escape, hiding your face in his chest. Then, you looked up at him, smiling widely. 

“You really do know how to make me fall, don’t you?”

He smiled goofily, almost like he was drunk after that one kiss. “You’re still standing though.”

You huffed fondly and slapped him bashfully. “You know what I mean.”

“Wait, but–” He widened his eyes. You felt his hands sneak around your waist, holding you securely and protectively. “Are you sure about this? I told you I’d wait. You don’t have to…” He bit his lip shyly. You could tell that the feeling of your lips on his cheek came rushing back. He shook out of his trance though he was still blushing. “You don’t have to kiss me if you’re not ready.”

You smiled softly and shook your head. You knew it was the necklace that did it for you. It served as further proof of how much Jacob cared for you–that he always thought about you even when you were apart and lied about the price so that you wouldn’t worry. Jacob was always like this. He always had you in his mind and would do anything if it meant that you would smile. Sometimes, he would even tell you that he liked your smile.

 “But I am ready. I want to go further with you.”

That was what made him jump in surprise. “You– you want to be more? Like me as your boyfriend? And you as…” He paused, his smile giddy and so in love. “Mine?”

You nodded excitedly. “Yes, Jacob.”

“But you said…”

“I’m still afraid,” You replied, looking down at where there was barely any distance between you two. “But I would love to try with you.”

“Are you sure?” He furrowed his eyebrows slightly which you couldn’t take seriously with the way his eyes were filled with so much eagerness.

“Yes.” You copied his expression jokingly.

“One hundred percent sure?” 

You sighed fondly and instead of replying, you stepped forward and pressed yet another kiss on his cheek. That seemed to be a good enough answer because Jacob was staring down at you as if you were the brightest star in the sky.

Jacob then used his finger to tilt your chin up. His smile was what left you feeling breathless. “Then I promise you, Y/n, that I’ll be good for you. If I do anything wrong, tell me. I will be my best for you. All the time. I like you so much”

You felt your composure melt as you couldn’t even control your grin anymore. 

“Okay,” You giggled. “I like you too. And this time, I want to do more. Only with you. You are my perfect world.”

Then, your expression quickly changed into a teasing one as you leaned in and fluttered your eyes shut. You expected Jacob to become flustered but instead, he smirked and tightened his hold on your waist. You were glad that the park was empty right now as you peeked an eye open, slightly flustered.

“What are you doing?” He teased.

You smiled shyly. “I’m asking for a kiss. And not as practice this time.”

“Of course, beautiful.” He drew circles on your hip before yanking you close and against his lips. It felt like fireworks going off in your stomach. And the fact that this was real was what made every sensation stronger than it was before.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and tilted your head slightly. Jacob smiled against your lips, holding you close without any intention to let go.

Jacob suddenly pulled away, leaving you to chase after his lips. When you stared at him with both confusion and want at the same time, he smiled knowingly before muttering, “You taste sweeter each time.” 

Instantly, you were coughing with a rising blush on your cheeks. The fact that this wasn’t even your first kiss is something to think about. But still, his eyes watched your every move, completely smitten before he leaned back in.

He made it feel like your first kiss everytime.

A few months later

“Why didn’t you tell me that the necklace was actually expensive?” You mumbled, your question briefly cut off by a yawn. The two of you were cuddled up in bed, late at night. It’s not like you two didn’t cuddle before so there wasn’t much of a difference–the only one being that there were now kisses added.

He hummed, the vibration resonating through your chest. “Because I knew you would worry too much and make me return it.”

You huffed grumpily and turned away, your back facing him. He let out a small sound of confusion and peeked over your body to poke your cheek.

“Did I say something wrong?” You already knew he was pouting.

“Yes,” You whined before quickly turning back around. You punched him in the chest though he didn’t flinch one. “Why do you always tell me not to worry about you? This is a teamwork thing. I want to worry about you.”

Jacob stared at you, a completely smitten look on his face. His gaze was soft and you yelped as he suddenly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back to his chest.

“Okay,” He replied.

You froze. “That’s it? No arguments?”

He laughed quietly. “No, because you’re right. We should be taking care of each other equally.” Then, he tilted his head back to look you in the eye. “Plus, I like when you worry about me. So do that more from now on.”

“Good.” You rolled your eyes. “I will. You think I don’t notice when you’re shivering from the cold?”

He frowned. “But you need the jacket or else you’ll get col–”

“Jacob,” You warned. 

“Fine, fine.” He scoffed, squeezing your arm playfully. “But you do know that you deserve the best? So in my defense, you deserve that jacket.”

You bit your lip and sighed, defeated. You were glad that the room was dimly lit so that he wouldn’t notice your blush. As you were getting lost in your thoughts, you felt a hand caress the side of your face, turning your attention back.

“Can I ask something?”

You tilted your head, willing yourself not to melt into his touch. You couldn’t handle that stupidly loving smile he would give you everytime you did.

“What is it?”

“How have I been as a boyfriend? I told you I would treat you well. If there’s anything, let me know. All I want is for you to be happy when you’re with me. Of course, if you want…” You could tell he was nervous with the way he began to ramble.

You smiled fondly and leaned in to kiss his jaw. “Jacob, Jacob,” You spoke, interrupting his fast-paced words.

“Yeah?” He looked at you like an eager puppy.

“Don’t worry,” You whispered. “You’re doing amazing. You’ve been the sweetest boyfriend ever.” 

“Oh?” His focused expression quickly turned into a teasing one. “That’s a relief. I love being good for you.”

“My god.” You tried to act nonchalant, but you couldn’t ignore the skip of your heart. You were about to add on, but your words were muffled by him leaning in and kissing you. His lips moved against yours as if you had all the time in the world which you did–you loved to savor the moment. 

You barely noticed that he had shifted his position so that you were caged under his arms. You could feel him giggle against your lips, his hand coming up to comb through your hair. You would never get over the fact that he had been a good kisser all this time. You wondered just how many kisses you’ve missed out on. 

But then again, his kisses were all for you from now on. You liked–no, loved–the thought of that.

It was still late at night and so, your kisses started to grow more slow and relaxed. Your arms around his neck slowly fell to your sides. 

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me now.” Jacob smirked, pulling away as he stared down at you, your eyes fighting to stay open.

“Can’t help it,” You mumbled. “Come down already.” You grabbed his arm that was holding him up as he hovered you and pulled him back down to lie with you. Automatically, you were climbing into his embrace and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

“Does my kissing make you sleepy?” He teased.

“Yes. I sleep when I’m in love,” You huffed, your thoughts jumbled and messy from both the kiss and your drowsiness.

“That doesn’t really make sense.” He still kissed the top of your forehead anyway.

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

— { 🌿 } 𝒮𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘺𝘦𝘰𝘯 ⟢ ᵎᵎ : friends to lovers.

secretly adores you. your smile, your personality, your chubby cheeks, sangyeon loves everything about you.

cuddling is something you both like to do, mainly because sangyeon is clingy, but whenever sangyeon wraps his arms around your torso butterflies erupt in your stomach.

‘i love you’ started out as a form of endearment and now it’s becoming harder for both of you to say it.

nights that you spend with sangyeon looking up at the stars after friendly outgoings leaves a tender feeling in both of your hearts.

sangyeon entangles his hand in yours, planting a soft kiss on it, leaving you both in a state of embarrassment with your cheeks flushed.

a silent ‘i love you’ is uttered past your lips as you plant a kiss on sangyeon’s forehead.

— { 🌿 } 𝒥𝘢𝘤𝘰𝘣 ⟢ ᵎᵎ : academic rivals.

you hate everything about jacob and how he is always top in your class with you following after.

jacob tends to rub it in your face a lot that you’ll never beat him and be on his level. maybe he was right or maybe he was wrong.

whenever you needed help you knew the only person to seek out was jacob, but you hated putting your pride on the line.

both you and jacob tend to bicker a lot where it usually gets heated.

it soon turned into a conversation about how much you like him and adore his talents, leaving you a flustered mess and jacob speechless.

and here he thought you hated him with him tackling you onto the ground in a hug.

— { 🌿 } 𝒴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘯 ⟢ ᵎᵎ : work colleagues.

you hate your job, mainly because your manager yells at you a lot. if not for younghoon helping you whenever you’re in a tight bind you would have quit already.

younghoon tends to buy coffee every morning for you, leaving it at your desk with a sticky note on it with words of affirmation to get you through the day.

whenever you have your lunch break, you would always buy extra food with younghoon in mind. also leaving a sticky note saying ‘thank you sm hoon :)’ on his container of food.

he found it cute that you were the only one in the office who only had a nickname for him.

days when you both were busy with work, you would always try to catch up with anything you missed in each other’s lives. thought you both talk almost everyday so there was never much news.

younghoon loves your company as much as you loved his.

— { 🌿 } 𝐻𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘢𝘦 ⟢ ᵎᵎ : love at first sight.

hyunjae had his fair share of relationships, but when he laid his eyes on you, he didn’t dare to move them.

when hyunjae first saw you, his cheeks flushed and he was so engrossed with you that he wouldn’t stop staring at you.

he didn’t intend to be a nervous wreck, stumbling over his words and confessing to you out of nowhere, though you just met him, you found it cute.

when work wasn’t a priority, you would spend your time with hyunjae at cafes and arcades, getting to know him better.

and when cafes and arcades weren’t enough, you two would have picnics in the park, talking and giggling until the moonlight illuminated on you both.

when you and hyunjae spent time together, it was as if the world had stopped and you both were the only ones in the world, with your eyes set on adoring each other.

— { 🌿 } 𝒥𝘶𝘺𝘦𝘰𝘯 ⟢ ᵎᵎ : brothers best friend.

he was off limits. your brother warned juyeon multiple times and even drilled into your head that you weren’t allowed to date any of his friends.

juyeon knew better to set his eyes on you, but how did he not when you always called his name so lovingly?

your sweet voice always rang in his head and whenever he’s around you, he’s a stuttering mess.

you knew it was wrong to harbor feelings for him, but with juyeon’s caring and funny personality it was hard to steer clear from him.

deep conversations connect you both like a puzzle piece oftentimes leaving your eyes glazed over as you stare at juyeon with admiration.

juyeon could care less about betraying your brother’s trust because for you it was worth it.

Today was one horrible day.

It was your first day at job and it felt as if from the moment you woke up to the moment you walked through the door of your apartment, everything went wrong.

Like, every little things as if the world was against you that day.

And you were frustrated, really frustrated.

But you didn't want to experience a second mental breakdown (because yes, you had one as soon as you left the building).

You knew Jacob would immediately notice your bloodshot eyes and rosy nose if you cried again. And the last thing you wanted was to worry him so you tried your best to keep it in, blinking your tears away as you put down your handbag and send a weak smile in his direction. It was not a genuine one and you knew your boyfriend knew it, but this will do for now.

Without a single word, you headed straight to the shower which was really odd coming from you. Usually, you would sit down and hug Jacob for a good 10 minutes while talking about your day but today was different and he definitely felt the frustration radiating off of you.

After almost an (much needed) hour, you came out and plopped down on the couch next to him. Not saying a word you just stared into space. Like said before, you didn't want to worry him knowing that he himself had a lot going on with the boys preparing for their comeback.

Jacob debated for a minute on whether to talk to you or not ; he didn't want to annoy you or force you to tell him what was wrong but he also didn't want to sit there seeing you all sad and tired and do nothing.

He decided to wait until you felt ready to rant to him.

Hower as the minutes passed and you still hadn't spoken a word, he grew more and more worried

"Is everything alright ?"

You suddenly snapped out of your thoughts, the sudden voice causing you to flinch a little.

You didn't know how long you were out of it honestly so you spat out a blatant lie,

"Hm ? Yeah everything's fine"

It sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself rather than him and it didn't escape his ears.

You felt his warm hand lay on top of yours and you looked up at him only to find him already looking at you

"You can always talk to me you know?" He said in such a honey-like voice, it had your heart melting

You let out a long frustrated sigh, throwing your head back on the couch. Your eyes shifted to his figure for a second then back to the ceiling.

"I'm just.." You started, trying to find the right words to explain the situation you were in.

"Take your time, love" he rubbed your arm encouragingly

"Today was just.. you know, awful. It felt as if everyone was judging me and all eyes were on me. My boss is horrible and treats me like im just a meaningless newbie, its so frustrating. It makes me feel like im not enough and it stresses me out. I can't even socialize ! I tried to befriend a few of my coworkers but they straight judged me because 'who would want to be friends with the newbie' " you scoffed as you recall your co-worker's words

"Everything was just so wrong like i couldn't do anything right !"

Jacob quietly listened to your rambling, it barely even made sense anymore but he kept quiet until you finished.

"I think you did amazing today sweetheart. You should feel proud of just going through this day at all, some people would have left in the middle of the day but you decided to stay until the end and its amazing. Im proud of you and those coworkers of yours it's their loss, they'll never know how incredible you are but they don't deserve you. Think of it, it was just the first day so it's totally normal to feel pressured in a new environment, just wait until you get used to your surroundings and the rythm of it."

He engulfed you in his comforting embrace, resting your head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around your body, tracing shapes of hearts on the small of your back.

"I'm proud of you my love" he whispered against your ear

And that's what it took for the tears to, once again, escape your eyes.

"It's okay, let it all out" he mumbled as he gently rubbed the back of your head, lips pressed to your crown

Planting kisses to the crown of your head, his hand burried in your hair, he held you close for as long as you needed it, assuring you that he'll always be by your side.

✿ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏʜᴀᴋ

"Sweetie?" He asks, perching on the arm of the sofa to peel back your cocoon of fuzzy blankets. "There you are angel..." he whispers; his warm palm gently reaching out to guide you from your hide away.

You'd heard him come home; the heaviness in his feet and the way he called your name and yet ... you had no desire to move. No desire to loft your head. No desire to speak back those few words like you usually do. The energy has been sapped from your bones and made your soul heavy with doubt.

Doubt about everything. About Jacob. About life. It and become rather ... numbing.

"It's okay love. You're going to be okay." Jacob's voice shatters though the veil and makes you look at him finally. The man had come back from practice early, he probably saw your message about needing him. And boy, did Jacob drop absolutely everything to come here.

Jacob moves, the warmth of your blanket hide away shifting before you feel him press close to you under the wad of blankets.

"Just hold me." Where the only three words that escape your lips and Jacob complies so fast it nearly makes your heart sing. Jacob worms his way into the couch, wrapping his arms around you lightly and placing a soft kiss to your nose.

"You know I'll aways hold you, sweetie." Jacob whispers, smiling softly to you as you slowly lay your head on his chest and draw shapes on his white shirt. The smell of the practice room lingers on his body, sweat and stress you can almsot taste it as he rubs soothing circles on your back.

These moments are things you hold dearest. The quiet ones where its just you and Jacob in the world.

On the sofas arm, your phone vibrates with a message from your best friend checking in on you like she does most days. Reaching for it a little finally, you type back a simple message that Jacob has got you and you're greeted with a few emotions of happiness and a message saying she and Hyunjae are heading home as well.

"Jae and Yas are heading back too ..." you mumble and Jacob's lips spread in soft smile.

"Would you like to invite them over? Maybe we could have a game night? I know Yas has been dying to show you her island on animal crossing, mm?" Jacob's offers, rubbing your arm gently.

And the idea does make your heart swell more, a buzzing feeling in your ears that begins to slowly spread across your body.

"I... yeah. Maybe it'll help," you mumble into his shoulder and reluctantly you let him go to shower as you pull yourself up to your feet after sending a message to Yas.

After some personal maintenance and fixing the coffee table, you start to worry yourself. The feeling builds and builds again ... until it dissipates into fondness watching by the window as a familiar shape of Hyunjae's bike pulling up in your driveway. Behind him, a petite woman rides with him.

A giddiness builds instead now, it had been a few days since you saw Yas, and nowadays with work piling and the threat of the world had seemed high, speaking with Jacob especially had lowered it but seeing your friend makes the world a bit brighter.

With another deep breath, you head to open up the door as Jacob ruffles his hair in towel rather adorably, you hear Hyunjae's laughter and the voice calling from the end of the drive way.

"We went the long way round - I got you a little something," Yas' voice rings out softly as they head up the path towards you and in her hand is something small in paper wrapping.

"Mm, it better not be another fridge magnet." You say, letting them both inside and hyunjae stifles a laugh.

"I told you not to get it," Hyunjae whines with a soft smile only to get a light swat from Yas rather playfully.

"I saw it in the front window, asked and they got it for me. I'm not saying how much though ~" Yas chirps up, handing you a small paper bag of something rather heavy inside.

Opening it with eyes wide, you gasp. "You did not! Oh my god, " you shake your head, past worries slowly seeping though your body and becoming nothing as you take out the heavy painted ornament of a black cat with piercing green eyes.

"It's not a fridge magnet," Yas shrugs, smiling at your reaction as you cradle the metal cat close to yourself.

"I told Yas to get the tabby one by she said you'd like the black cat more, I suppose she was right?" Hyunjae asks, and you have to double take for a second before feeling Jacob's arms looping around your waist and pulling you close to his chest. Soft kisses are given along your neck as you look up to Hyunjae for a second.

"I love it either way, Jae," you chuckle and turn to give Jacob a soft kiss to his cheek before opening your arms to Yas who giggles softly before coming to hug you tight.

"Thank you," you whisper into her hair, arms wrapping around her body gently. "You needed a pick me up, unfortunately money only goes so far," she whispers back to you before pulling away. "But Jae did bring the switch, " Yas adds with a smile.

Immediately, everything melts away and it's just the four of you sitting together with a bowl of popcorn of all things between you. Swished on the couch with the men on the outside, yourself and Yas boot up animal crossing and you're eager to show Yas new things to do on the game, pointing things out and helping her made better design choices.

"You're the architect here, is blue or yellow better?" Yas asks, handing the controller to you and you smirk. "Yellow just because I know you don't like it ~" you tease and you're met with a playful groan from your friend but is easily happy.

"I guess yellow does look better there...." Yas trails off and Jacob takes the time to adjust himself to grab another handful of popcorn before reaching over and kissing your cheek. "Feelign brighter love?" He whispers, smiling a bit to you before rubbing your thigh innocently and the touch sends warmth up your spine.

"Very much so~" you answer with a few soft pecks to his lips only to hear Hyunjae obnoxiously singing lip gloss behind you and you fight the urge to laugh because it is all so stupid and yet so beautiful at the same time.

Why worry about things you cannot control? It's a hard feat but it can be done, and sitting here with your friends in hand, you realise that the little things mean the absolute most.