Tremenda Sata

solo se me ocurre venir por estos rumbos cuando estoy triste y desesperada, el sentimiendo es muy familiar con este lugar. Eso significa que en este momento estoy triste y desesperada.

I havent been around in such a long time, but i feel the need to vent. Tumblr was a safe space back then. At the beginning of the year i ended up my 4 year long relationship and i felt peace. A few weeks later my dog died. I found her dead body. I touched her dead body. Then quarantine came. There are days I feel overcomed by such powerfull hopelesness. These past week has been like that. Sometimes all i can manage to do is lay on my bed and feel my body lose power over such emotion. My biggest trigger has been seeing my body change so much in 5 months. I can say wholeheartedly i hate how my body feels and looks. I have tried so many different things to go back to where i was. I can't do this anymore. This feeling takes me back to when i was a teen and all i cared about was my weight. I cant believe a 22 year old woman is still struggling with the same bullshit she has struggled for almost a decade. I just feel desperate and hopeless. I need to feel like myself again.