Maarja Viinis

I feel myself getting lost in this night. And this night is nothing special. Maybe only the fact that I’m in Vienna and not in Estonia. I think everybody’s asleep already. Asleep in Estonia and here, in Vienna. And I’m watching a silly Estonian comedy show. While giggling. It’s hot inside. There’s no air.  I’m not going to open this window. The darkness here is inexplicably vast. As well as the silence. I think that should I open the window now I would fly out into the night and disappear inside the darkness forever. I would be lying if I claimed that I would mind that. It even seems like a nice thing to happen. And right now seems like the perfect moment for it. If not now, when. To fly into the nightly darkness and shatter into a thousand pieces.  To switch off from everything that I am. Yes. This thought comforts me. All of a sudden, I start feeling safe.  Good night, Maarja, your body needs to rest. Tomorrow is another day to live.

viinis_28.11.2016