cunt

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies

They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies

my uncle (named big michael, you will soon find out why) who is 6’9 (Now You Understand) just arrived to sleep over at our place, i was not informed, there are no lights on in the hall, he has a key, and it is 34 minutes past midnight. So that is all to say, I do think with some certainty, that I am now, officially, the first human being who has come this close to seeing the boogie man in real life, and survived. He unfolded himself through that door frame like a poorly made origami crane from hell.

if the heavens ever did squeak, she's the last true mouse piece

And they said white girls couldn’t exit the timeloop

And they said white girls couldn’t exit the timeloop

And they said white girls couldn’t exit the time loop

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

please god let chatgpt die out like nfts did. With a fast and graceless fall into irrelevancy

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

Casting with all my might

worst thing about a job is that you have to. keep showing up. like you have to. you gotta.

can somebody who is really good at assassinating please just try their best

the idea of a 21 year old being engaged is so scary. stay safe dont do that do yourself

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

One day I woke up and everybody knew what a labubu was

big fan of when businesses have signs that preemptively thank you for following a rule. "thank you for respecting our staff" "thank you for not smoking in the bus station." etc. its a passive aggressive power move and it works on me every time. i mean i wasn't even PLANNING on direspecting the staff but now i'm extra not gonna. they thanked me already. i've been checkmated.

I hate googling shit like "why am I still sad and tired when I ate and slept and have been walked and watered" and it's always some shit like "your brain is fried because your parents sucked at handling kids when you were a kid". Like can it be literally anything else sometime, just for the sake of variety.