odd sight come out at night

Need more gore and sex stuff in the monsterkin tag! It’s very PG, being a monster to me has more of an unrated vibe sometimes. Tagged of course, Real Human Suffering makes me feel bad (went through a real gore phase and it wasn’t a good time) and I understand seeing dead animals isn’t for everyone (I’m into vulture culture so I have a high tolerance), but some movie or art gore and animals eating some tasty meat seems like something one would see there? I see a bloody predator and like now that’s the stuff! That should be me! I love watching people get killed in a horror movie! It’s my favorite genre. Many monsters are overtly sexual or sexually coded! I’m also a monsterfucker and monsters are hot and monster is what I want to be as that is hot. My form was made to be sexually and aesthetically pleasing to me.

Do you think in death, if it’s not simply lights out or instant memory free reincarnation, one would have the sensation or perception of having the right body? My biggest fear is having to be human forever, or formless if I have enough memory to be upset about not having the right form. Unfortunately for me the idea of being reincarnation into the right body is highly unlikely since uh, monster not an animal.

To elaborate on my other post, but being a monster to me is being ‘bad’. Not necessarily objectively bad, everyone has to eat, predators are not evil for existing, but the average person would see certain behaviors and be like yeah that’s bad. That thing looks dangerous, it’s bad news. And it being totally in line with being a monster so it’s a valid thing to be. No one is disappointed in a large dangerous beast for not behaving socially acceptable, it’s not judged by human standards. A monster can behave aggressively and it’s a Problem and a Threat, not Rude or Criminal. I am physically human and do bad things (lie, steal, cheat, manipulate) and I feel guilt (or guilt for not feeling guilt) and like to imagine a world where I am mostly guilt free about my behavior and be set up to successfully be Very Bad to my heart’s content and get away with it. Like shapeshifting alone could get you out of a lot of situations. I am extremely non confrontational, sometimes I wish to make my feelings someone else’s problem and not feel shitty about it. Getting me mad would have Consequences.

Sometimes I feel bad for lacking all the senses and instincts I ought to, the ones I am missing that would make sense to have and not having them makes me feel like I am faking, but many of those instinct are Bad. It is probably a good thing I do not feel the literal urge to physically harm or eat people, I like the thought but often in the moment during confrontation it doesn’t come to mind. It’s only when I think about the concept of eating people do I feel upset that I am not a literal man eating monster with different instincts that would make eating a person natural and enjoyable. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting that so badly when confronted with real life gore and suffering of people hurt on purpose, like wow do I want THAT? Really?