Lyssie

So exactly one week ago i was discharged from the ward!!!! So I am no longer sectioned or inpatient, and the home treatment team are stopping on thursday. I am genuinely feeling so much better we sorted out my meds more finally which has been life saving mainly with my pmdd tbh, I'm on the pill for that continuous and its massively reduced symptoms which is amazing bc that was such a massive issue, I'm on quetiapine which seems to help idk what with just to calm my thoughts from racing as much ig and then im on the max dose of sertraline now. It was such a journey the past few months I was at the point where I was literally getting restrained like 4 times a day, they basically stripped half my room like took all my clothes, toiletries etc and just left some colouring and teddies and then they finally started agreeing with me that the ward environment was making me worse bc I was stuck and needed to go home so we set a discharge date and I decided i needed to get my shit together and... so far so good? I went a week without sh (lowkey fucked it today but its okay blips are gonna happen) but thats the most I've been in like 7/8 months, I'm 17 days attempt free, AND I got discharged from ed services!!! It was sudden and they didn't even tell me they were doing it or consult with me so I was pissed to say the least but tbh I am doing so much better with it like today I went to the zoo and got ice cream with my friends (one of which was actually at the ed day service with me so that was lowkey like healing in itself) and yesterday I baked banana bread with one of my best friends which was so yummy. I genuinely feel really motivated but not like euphoric motivated as I have in the past more like taking it one day at a time and want to get there no matter how long it takes motivation if that makes sense? I've not been in this place mentally for years and i am actually hopeful that it might work this time. I'm starting college in September and I'm hoping that will be the fresh start i need. Oh my knees are fucked tho from the incident they told me it wasn't broken - turns out it was and I quite LITERALLY ran on it before I could even walk properly (ran from the ward 😭) and they got better but then about 2 weeks ago they started quickly deteriorating again so I'm back on and off my crutches to help with the pain until we can see a specialist. But basically to round it off I'm definitely not there yet but I'm starting to see glimmers of a better life and I wanted to give you guys hope that you can get there too. I've not really checked anyone's accounts in the past 6 months bc i don't want to accidentally trigger myself but I hope you're all doing okay and I do come back and check my notifications like every 2 weeks or so cos you guys were such a massive part of my life and I do miss you. Btw if anyone wants my tiktok I'm very active on there atm posting a lot of shit and I can message people and stuff so lmk :) 🩷

3 days ago I was discharged from the psych ward. I'm attending the day ed service but I get to go home! It's been a crazy journey - I've had 7 a&e trips, a lot of sh, sui attempts, had my bathroom locked with no privacy, and so much more shitty shit but more importantly I've improved. Now, I'm in the best place I have been in years with my eating, I'm nowhere near as suicidal as I was back in November only having the odd thought now, my sh is still bad but I'm working on improving it and beginning to actually want to which is massive progress (made it 3 days for the first time in 4 months this week). I have had so many wonderful staff members who have helped me so much along my journey and I will forever be grateful to the ones who did help. I don't know why but i just wanted to tell you all. Maybe it might give someone hope that things can get better and even though I'm miles off where I want to be to be properly 'better' I really am getting there and I want to do this properly this time 🩷

I love you all so much, goodbye (for now)

omg i am so so so happy to hear that I was so worried about you I love you so much thank you for telling me I wish you all the best 🩷🩷🩷