CW: IANTHE TRIDENTARIUS

You think you’re eating and slaying and cunt in that cloak, but in reality, you’re just eating and slaying your poor hideous cav. And the only cunt is you.

Okay this is what I’ve been waiting for

The teams:

Aug and Mercy

Harrow and Gideon

Kiriona and Ianthe

Cassiopeia and Anastasia

Cyrus and Ulysses

Cytheria and that construct which we left at the First House I’ll go with Teacher since that’s what he calls himself now

Also the Lyctor candidates who came from the houses they come in their necro cav pairs

Okay okay so in the game I’m confident that Aug and Mercy would get along as they’d be so mad at me they’d want to give me a punch but then we’d laugh about it after. Aug would propose that they team up with Gideon and Harrow claiming something like it’s good if we got the three virtues! And there’s also the diet lyctor but none of us have powers so she can’t be much of a letdown now!

Kiriona and Ianthe would also come to this conclusion but Kiri would need some convincing by Ianthe in which time Gideon grunted at the team who approached suggestion, and Harrow just goes along because now that she and Gideon are working together they’re a lot more similar than she thought and they have developed a mutual respect

After learning that Aug and Mercy are working with Gideon and Harrow Kiriona feels betrayed and charges in, Harrow is stunned, Ianthe is distraught, mercy uses a spear Gideon had previously made to kill her rip my girl @therealkirionagaia

Ianthe then goes into hiding doing some weird stuff

Idk much about the Cannan House candidates who didn’t survive but I assume they would be taken out by a variety of sneaky traps Cyth makes aided by Teacher who she bullies into helping him she targets them as some kind of revenge against me bringing them into the game

Anastasia tries to pull of a similar trap but does it wrong as she did lyctorhood wrong and ends up having to be killed, Cassiopeia seems to have been killed in the faulty trap but survives and sneaks away

The teams that have worked together the Virtues and Harrow swiftly move in to take out Cyrus and Ulysses but learn they have been taken out by a trap in the arena called the resurrection trap which is just a big pit with a carpet with the picture of a planet hastily covering it, they fall in and die

Harrow goes off alone for a while because she’s fed up of all the old people talk and encounters cyth who she engages in a battle with near the corpse of Kiri and she uses one of Kiris bones as a weapon to kill her. Teacher proclaims his wish to die and jumps into the same pit as Cyrus and Ulysses much to Harrows confusion

When she returns she comes back to the rest of the Virtues sorry @mercymornthe1st and Cassiopeia’s corpses with ianthe lounging on the floor infront who then goes into a dramatic monologue about how she planned this the entire time, talking about traps and weapons she made to take them down including cassiopeia who nearly outsmarted her but was taken off guard by a sexual innudeno Ianthe made allowing her to make the final blow

Harrow gives up because she would rather die than listen to this and ianthe wins much to my dismay

No one wants to look me in the eyes. :/

John: My life, my dignity, my favourite blush, my 2 best pens, my teacup (he broke it. An ANTIQUE!!)

Augustine: My dark coral dress, four textbooks, a box of matches, 389 Uno cards, 4 Monopoly pieces, and a pack of chewing gum.

Gideon: A lighter, 24 croissants, a romance novel, a comfortable reading chair, a necklace.

Blonde Baby: Nothing. I would never trust her with my stuff.

I heard once the Emperor brought up how babies are made to Harrow, and then asked her if she and you were 'being safe.' Why uh... Why would he need to ask that? Thanks.

By Dominicus, I sincerely did not want to know that.

SOME people have a hard time understanding my relationship with Harry. Our deeply erotic subtext throws them off. An impending thousand year will-they-won’t-they is sure to further complicate things, but personally, I love a long game 😌

I suspect someone may have been snooping that time Harrow snogged me. Or perhaps made themselves privy to our more intimate conversations. I am NOT responsible from whatever they may have taken away from the whole arm-replacing scenario.

Harry knew what she was getting into. We did share a bed, after all.