Im Just A Guy

Earth: 10/10

This would be the best one. First you got the crunchy outer layer filled with a bunch of life so a variety of tastes as well, moving into the gooey centre YUUMMMMY. You have to consider water on it as well so you’re also getting hydrated it’s the best. It’s basically a molten cake and if I could only choose one planet to eat it would be Earth

Mercury: 4/10

This has the potential to be good as well, its core is really big and crust is thin. Now while you might go but John Earth got such a high score because of that no? WRONG mercury is too small wouldn’t be filling enough and there’s too much core you don’t want it to overwhelm the crust

Venus: 7/10

The hottest planet in the solar system gets its points because sometimes you want a spicy food and I think this would work

Mars: 5/10

I am fond of Mars but I think it would be too dry to eat. Maybe if you have it after you’ve drunk something then it could work and I could see it being a fun little snack

Jupiter: 6/10

Okay this is a gas giant so it would be difficult to eat and I think the red spot would be a nice place to bite into however it could be too big and you might not be able to finish in one sitting. Now this could be a downside or a positive, either urgh I have to eat the rest of this later, and if you like it there’s not much of it left, or yay I have more food for later. It wouldn’t be my first choice to eat I think it’s too large

Saturn: 9/10

Now this is tricky because do you count saturns rings and yes I will. This makes Saturn so much more fun to eat because you have the planet itself to eat as your main course and the ring as a snack you can munch on when you get bored of the planet itself. This would probably be my second choice of planet to eat it makes eating fun. Saturn without its rings would probably be a 2/10 because other planets have its gimmick

Neptune: 7/10

Okay you might be thinking John! What? But Neptune is a gas ice giant so it provides a nice cool refreshing meal after some of the others you might have eaten. I’d pair this with Venus

Pluto: 10/10

ITS STILL A PLANET I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY

Uranus: 10/10

King? Too short not enough authority and associated with chess where the king suckkks

Queen? Great because also associated with chess where she’s a powerhouse also pawns transition into her so that’s cool but also associated with chess which might put people off your rule because they think you’re a chess player

Prince? Much better than king as longer but doesn’t have the same weight. Would be a banger title for a underling to the emperor

Princess? Makes people think about Disney and I hate Disney

I decided to weigh in, and came in swinging with the opinion that swords are obviously better

They look cooler, they can be customised, they require actual skill to use and have panache and flourish when used well

Guns you point and go bang

My friends A and M (redacted for privacy purposes ofc) claim that it’s the only thing I have to eat lol