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Noah Kahan

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@luxernbourg

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I spent at least 10 minutes watching this on repeat. I cried so much. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long time.
External image
ive had this queued this march
but have y’all seen the sequel
red apples > green apples
discuss
what the fuck is an apple
whats the arrow mean
red apples turn into green apples, the superior apple
this post was a mess from the start
fuck you tyler oakley

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ash i am a foot tall mouse and that is some godzilla shit happening over there
Stick to the stuff you know.
im gonna die w a boner i know it
die hard
tell your dad i’m ten
you: why is return of the jedi your favorite star wars??
me:
you: holy shit

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“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”
Hey you remember that huge ass log Ash ran with and tossed in that one episode? Well I calculated how much the log weighs, if you're interested.
You have my attention
I decided to start from the scene where the Bagon originally landed on the log.
Okay, was about to land on it. Point is, it’s the same log Ash threw. Now, Bagon is about 2 ft tall, and since he’s directly above the log, I can get an accurate measurement.
(That was as good as I could get on iPhone Photoshop.) Okay, so the log is 6.5 Bagons long. Multiplying that by two, it’s 13 feet. Now, the calculator I was using required diameter on both ends. I’d say the log’s diameter is fairly consistent all the way around, so I only needed to find one end. For that, I used this image.
The Bagon is a bit far away, but I think the log has roughly the diameter of the height of a Bagon. Two feet, which translates to 24 inches.
Now if you have looked at the top, there was only one thing left I needed to input. Doing some further episode watching, I found the trees in the area looked similar to cottonwood trees. (No image available because I was a tired shit from doing all of that math and bad Photoshopping, so I didn’t take a picture. The episode is called Pinch Healing if you are a tree expert and want to see for yourself. Also, keep in mind that I am anything but a tree expert. All I did were a few Google searches.) So I put in that the tree was cottonwood, and here is the result:
Satoshi/Ash Ketchum, a ten year old boy, almost effortlessly picked up, ran with, and tossed a log that weighed an astounding 1,385 pounds (or about 628.23 kilograms)!
1,385 pounds
The strongest Pokemon we never knew
Surely by now, we all know this boy goes to the gym
Technically he goes to several gyms
how does he even let team rocket steal his pikachu at this point when he could break their sternums with his index finger
I REGRET EVERY INSULT I’VE EVER SAID ABOUT ASH IN MY LIFE
me: dials 911 for help JLaw appears out of dark alley: you can’t live ur whole life on ur phone BRO!! you gOTTa LIVE in the now!!!!
Welcome to Episode: your home for interactive, visual stories, where as the player YOU choose what path your character takes!

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Bob Staake has created a series of “Satire, Humor and Visual Parody of Classic Children’s Books From the 1940s Through 1960s
**dies laughing**