lux

But one day during the early stages of recovery, but after he's discharged, he's checking something on Ilya's phone for him when he just happens to come across their messages and the only detail that stands out in his mind is the name "Jane" and how this Must be a girl clearly based on that minor detail, and when he catches sight of the first dirty text he flies into internal histerics as he immediately concludes his husband is cheating on him. A bit more snooping and he learns these texts go back over a decade.

And of course, he's still Shane and he must spend the rest of the day ruminating on this until he's made up an entire storyline in his head and locked onto it Autistically.

So then he finally confronts Ilya while they're just watching hockey on the couch like "I can't believe you've been cheating on me this whole time."

And Ilya is like. SO shaken, completely dumbfounded. Because he reached a point where he couldn't make himself sleep with anyone else before they ever made things exclusive. So what the fuck could Shane possibly be referring to right here in this moment? And he's just looking at Shane in a mix of shock and defensiveness like "What the fuck are you talking about?"

And Shane's like "Don't even deny it, I've seen All the texts!" (he has seen exactly 3 texts worth mentioning and a handful of really confusing texts that MUST be damning, and also he knows its been a Long Ass Time - but its enough)

And Ilya's like the last fucking person I texted was Shane, soooo... "What fucking texts, Shane?"

"Don't act stupid!"

"No, fucking show me!" And then he just hands his phone to Shane, no bars held, just places it there in his lap expectantly.

And internally, Shane is like WOW you're really going to make me go through this again just to prove what I already know? But externally, he's just a ball of rage and smush face and secretly Ilya is like if you were not saying the most obsurd bullshit I have ever fucking heard in my life, I would be kissing you stupid but he doesn't say THAT either so they just seethe at each other for a second until Shane pulls up the (completely unhidden and visible to the naked eye) texts.

And Ilya takes one fucking look at them and flops over on the couch kind of halfway laughing, halfway groaning because fucking goddamnit its just his stupid fucking amnesia and this is so fucked but now he has to explain their entire relationship start to finish to this man because otherwise Shane's going to actually spiral and make ten million assumptions about everything and then he'll be fucking SAD and Ilya can't handle sad clueless Shane eyes right now it will literally break him.

And then Shane is like "Oh wow, nice okay like, you don't even care?!?!?! so?!?!?!"

and Ilya is just like no fuck you shut up I care SO MUCH. "Give me your stupid fucking phone."

And Shane is like "What?! No! Explain yourself!"

And Ilya's like "I literally am just let me see your phone" and much like that time after their second hookup, Shane looks at him like he's fucking insane but hands him the phone anyway and Ilya pulls up the texts and just sets the two phones neatly in Shane's lap, side by side.

And thats it. The texts are exactly the same.

"What?" Because hey, that doesn't make any fucking sense. "Why is your name Lily in my phone? And... why am I jane?"

But one day during the early stages of recovery, but after he's discharged, he's checking something on Ilya's phone for him when he just happens to come across their messages and the only detail that stands out in his mind is the name "Jane" and how this Must be a girl clearly based on that minor detail, and when he catches sight of the first dirty text he flies into internal histerics as he immediately concludes his husband is cheating on him. A bit more snooping and he learns these texts go back over a decade.

And of course, he's still Shane and he must spend the rest of the day ruminating on this until he's made up an entire storyline in his head and locked onto it Autistically.

So then he finally confronts Ilya while they're just watching hockey on the couch like "I can't believe you've been cheating on me this whole time."

And Ilya is like. SO shaken, completely dumbfounded. Because he reached a point where he couldn't make himself sleep with anyone else before they ever made things exclusive. So what the fuck could Shane possibly be referring to right here in this moment? And he's just looking at Shane in a mix of shock and defensiveness like "What the fuck are you talking about?"

And Shane's like "Don't even deny it, I've seen All the texts!" (he has seen exactly 3 texts worth mentioning and a handful of really confusing texts that MUST be damning, and also he knows its been a Long Ass Time - but its enough)

And Ilya's like the last fucking person I texted was Shane, soooo... "What fucking texts, Shane?"

"Don't act stupid!"

"No, fucking show me!" And then he just hands his phone to Shane, no bars held, just places it there in his lap expectantly.

And internally, Shane is like WOW you're really going to make me go through this again just to prove what I already know? But externally, he's just a ball of rage and smush face and secretly Ilya is like if you were not saying the most obsurd bullshit I have ever fucking heard in my life, I would be kissing you stupid but he doesn't say THAT either so they just seethe at each other for a second until Shane pulls up the (completely unhidden and visible to the naked eye) texts.

And Ilya takes one fucking look at them and flops over on the couch kind of halfway laughing, halfway groaning because fucking goddamnit its just his stupid fucking amnesia and this is so fucked but now he has to explain their entire relationship start to finish to this man because otherwise Shane's going to actually spiral and make ten million assumptions about everything and then he'll be fucking SAD and Ilya can't handle sad clueless Shane eyes right now it will literally break him.

And then Shane is like "Oh wow, nice okay like, you don't even care?!?!?! so?!?!?!"

and Ilya is just like no fuck you shut up I care SO MUCH. "Give me your stupid fucking phone."

And Shane is like "What?! No! Explain yourself!"

And Ilya's like "I literally am just let me see your phone" and much like that time after their second hookup, Shane looks at him like he's fucking insane but hands him the phone anyway and Ilya pulls up the texts and just sets the two phones neatly in Shane's lap, side by side.

And thats it. The texts are exactly the same.

"What?" Because hey, that doesn't make any fucking sense. "Why is your name Lily in my phone? And... why am I jane?"

Shane will go up first, with a kiss for Ilya- to his shoulder or cheek or ear or forehead- wherever he can land one- and then Ilya will go about making sure all the doors and windows are locked and shut, pack away anyas toys and fold the blankets from the couch. He’ll fill up his and Shane’s water bottles, and then Anya will follow him up the stairs once he’s turned off the lights. Shane will be in the shower and Ilya will turn down their bed, get rid of all the extra pillows and fold back the covers, settle Anya in her dog bed with many goodnight kisses and then put their waterbottles on the beside tables.

Sometimes he’ll meet Shane in the shower, share the end of Shane’s shower with him, help him rinse out his hair or kiss his shoulders, steal a cuddle and more kisses under the water. Sometimes Shane will be done by the time Ilya gets in to the bathroom and he’ll just squeeze his hip in passing as he goes to strip and shower. Ilya puts his clothes in the hamper, showers while he watches Shane do his skincare at their double sinks. By the time he’s out of the shower Shane is gone, the smell of his minty toothpaste left behind and it’s so stupid but Ilya misses him, a little, while he brushes his own teeth and scrubs on some moisturiser, the same one Shane uses because he likes that the smell reminds him of him.

but my personal headcanon is that whevenver shane wears something of ilya's he gets infinitely more compliments than ilya does when wearing the same clothing item, and this INFURIATES ilya.

like they'll stop at a local coffee shop ilya frequents, and shane has thrown on one of ilya's button-ups, and the barista is like "i like your shirt btw" and shane is just like "oh, thanks!", then as soon as they're out of earshot ilya is like "i have worn that shirt a million times when coming here and they've never said ANYTHING >:("

or shane takes a pic with a fan at an airport wearing one of ilya's slutty tank tops, and the pic circulates twitter with everyone being like "anyone else really like this style of shirt on hollander?" "tank top hollander🥵" "holy biceps 👀"

and ilya is like "tank tops have been MY THING forever >:(("

it even happens with the centaurs, like one day shane pulls up to practice in ilya's rick owens sweatpants cause he was too lazy to find his own and one of the rookies is like "yo hollander are those rick ownens? thats sick asf" and ilya is glaring daggers. then he shows up to the next practice in the same sweatpants and no one says anything and he just silently seethes.

"hollander i have worn those pants for YEARS, i was wearing rick before it was cool!! i was handwashing your CUM out of those pants before they even knew the name rick owens, but the ONE TIME you wear they act like it is brand new >:((("

shane fully knows how much this frustrates ilya and he absolutely plays into it, like he'll fully take the compliments and never mention that the clothes are actually ilya's. everytime he gets a compliment, he just shoots ilya a shit eating grin.

all while ilya is like "he's STEALING my drip!!!!"