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hold me like a grudge
ch1 - there is a hell,
believe me i've seen it
⎠childhood bsf trueform!sukuna x f!reader
[heian era canon adjacent au] - ongoing series
â the world is an unjust beast. it claws and tears until nothing remains but those cursed with the greatest gift of all; power. in another world, ryomen sukuna is the strongest sorcerer in history, capable of an evil no one can dream. but he was once a boy, and you were once a girl. now a devil with docked horns and an angel with tattered wings, you walk this world together, your curse to navigate side by side. â
⎠cw ; mdni, 18+ only. dark themes surrounding my interpretation of sukuna's upbringing and how it affects you both. graphic depictions of blood, gore, death, dismemberment, mutilation, and hunted animals. character death. themes surrounding poor mental health. poor coping mechanisms. arguments. best friends to lovers. toxic codependency. child abuse & neglect. self-hatred. attempted self-mutilation. bigotry & period-accurate misogyny. eventual smut after both characters are over 18. angst. hurt/no comfort. eventual hurt/comfort. tragic lovers with a happy ending. dddne.
⎠wc ; 6.2k.
⎠a/n ; hellooo, welcome to my new series! i really wanted to do a series looking into a scenario in which sukuna grew up with someone to support him so this is it! i've been enjoying the exploration of these characters and challenging myself to write as accurately as i can for the heian era, but please excuse any inaccuracies and note that i have taken some liberties both with my interpretation of the era and with cursed energy :)
please heed the warnings on this one, it's far darker than my last series and some parts aren't for the faint of heart as this is a very realistic take on what i would envision taking place. anywho, please enjoy grudge!kuna, reader, and their friends and family <3
as a note; sukuna doesn't have his tats/markings when the story begins :)
main masterlist || series masterlist || next â” - coming soon
When youâre a child, itâs easy to assume that the stories you hear from your parents are just thatâ stories. Fantasies and horrors that ebb and flow with the tides of time, but one doesnât often consider where new ones might come from.
Your father loves stories. Thereâs nothing you love more in life than sitting between your parents as he tells you stories of grandeur, of heroes with pristinely crafted katanas and monsters to be defeated. Stories of warriors who face armies and donât bat an eye at the prospect of loss. He tells you the most bold and exciting tales and a part of you longs for the idea of being one of the aforementioned heroes when you grow up.
Your mother likes to share stories of love and wisdom. Of kind souls who take in injured animals and nurse them back to health. Stories of people who find solace in one another and learn love through care. She tells stories that make you grateful for the warmth youâre beholden to, and another part of you longs to offer that kindness to those less fortunate.
Sometimes, late at night, you hear them tell the kind of stories that scare children into staying out of the forests. Ones of two-faced demons more monster than man who raze villages in a sea of slashes, leaving nothing of recognition behind. You recall the feeling of dread creeping up your spine as your parents whispered of it in the dead of night.
Thereâs no hero in this story, just loss and bloodshed. One where the monster comes out victorious, bold horns and venom-spitting teeth curled in delight as it takes pleasure in taking the lives of others. Itâs the kind of tale that needs to be dulled at the edges before your dad ever tells you it.
Those whispered words brought you nightmares, of cruel vitriol and vicious snarls of a monster taller than your home. Claws protruding from digits that donât breathe of humanity, used only to rip and tear. Eyes so cold and dead that those who saw them were doomed to their end before they could get a word in edgewise.
Over the following year, the story would warp. It would become far more suitable for the younger crowd, nothing more than a shadow of the spine-chilling tale you once heard. A hero added to the outskirts to slay the monster with a victorious shout, burying the truth even farther from what it ever was.
The story you once heard would fade in your memories with time, replaced by the one with the brave warrior and his beautifully crafted long-bow. After all, can one ever truly blame a child for their naivety? The world is nothing if not yours to explore when youâre barely a few days over four.
âSaya! Sayaaa!â You call out for your friend, padding through the leafy undergrowth behind your village in search of her. Your kimono brushes against your knees as you push through a series of flimsy branches, scanning your surroundings for any signs of your hidden counterpart.
Sun beats down between gaps in the growth above, briefly blinding you as you make your way through a sunny patch of trees. Blinking hard to adjust to the sudden burst of light, you round a tree and rub at them as you make out the shape of a small human crouched down before you.
âFound you!â Gleefully, you bound further into the clearing, lowering your hands from your eyes when you come face-to-face with a small boy, rather than your best friend. âOhâ!â With lips pursed into an âOâ shape, you peer down curiously at the little boy cautiously peering over his shoulder at you.
He wears silks far too large for his stature that pools on the ground around him. The fabricâs edges are tattered and filthy, the seams tearing where he seems to have stepped on them. The boy himself seems to be your age if you were to make a guess. His cheeks are rounded, covered in enough grime to make you wonder how his parents let him get that way.
His hair is the kind of pale pink that makes you think of the fish your parents prepare here and there, a pretty near-salmon that doesnât suit the glare being shot at you. The pupil you can see is a pinprick, tossed over his shoulder as though heâs hiding something from you. He seems to brandish a scar beneath the eye youâre able to see, some sort of slice located at the edge of his vision.
In spite of the scorn being tossed over his shoulder with just one look, heâs still just a boy.
âHello!â
If his eye could narrow any further, it does. He doesnât reply, curling in towards whatever you now realize is on the ground before him.
Rocking back and forth on your heels, you clasp your hands behind your back, introducing yourself. When he still doesnât reply, his pupil flitting across your features dangerously, you take a cautious step forward, trying to peer at what it is he seems to be protecting.
He shuffles further away from you, his back still to you as he stops you from seeing whatever it may be.
Chewing on your lip as the boy makes things difficult, you tilt your head. âWhatâs your name?â
His piercing stare doesnât falter as his head swivels back towards you. He examines your face just long enough that youâre about to take another nosy step forward, when he finally takes a breath to speak.
âI get called Ryomen Sukuna.â He mutters his words, speaking in a rough tone, as though his voice hasnât been used in a while.
Straightening, you tilt your head in the opposite direction as you work through the memories of your brief four rotations around the sun. Itâs familiar, in a spine-chilling sort of way that any adult might recognize and run the other way. Your instincts lack that knowledge, even as you recall where youâve heard it before.
Two-faced Spirit. The monster known for curled horns and sharp fangs, long claws and deadly slices.
âLike in the stories?â
His gaze momentarily flickers away. âYes.â
You pout. Itâs a rather mean-spirited name for a child, and that just wonât do.
âI think Ryo is better.â
He shifts, less guarded as he sits upright and looks you up and down suspiciously. As he turns more towards you, youâre able to make out some sort of protrusion from the side of his face that heâs guarding. Heâs also far more covered in grime than you had initially gathered, with a smearing of blood across his cracked lips, dripping freshly down his chin. It should scare you.
It doesnât.
This time when you take a step towards him, peering over his shoulder, he doesnât stop you.
You recoil at the sight. Once a rabbit, now barely more than a pelt. Your nose wrinkles. âDid you eat that?â
âYes.â
âEwww!â You proclaim in the kind of way only a child can manage.
His brow furrows again as he faces away, pulling his kill closer as though your judgement is expected. Still, you donât leave as he expects, and when he throws another glare over his shoulder to find you still there, thatâs when his lips finally curl in disdain. âWhat do you want?â
âWhere are your parents?â
He turns away from you again, briefly silent. âNot here.â
âAre you alone?â
He picks at the rabbitâs thigh, shoving raw meat into his mouth that has you nearly gagging at the sight. âYes,â he answers between chewing.
âWhy?â
His head whips around to face you, frustrated, if his scowl is anything to go by. This time, youâre able to make out the protrusion on the other side of your face. It seems to be some sort of mask or plate of flesh. An eye as red as the one youâve already seen tilts, as though heâs watching you from all angles. You notice there seems to be another scar of sorts beneath it, just like the other eye. Heâs otherwise a normal kid, as far as you can tell. âBecause.â
You step closer, barely a stride away now. âDo you wanna help me find my friend?â
Irises as red as the blood that decorates his chin narrow to mere slits. âWhy would I do that?â
âWeâre playing hide and seek!â You explain with a wide grin.
âYou want to⊠play?â He repeats the sentiment, his voice rife with confusion.
âYeah!â
His left eye averts as he considers your proposition. Shifting the rabbit corpse nearer the tree heâs crouched before, he covers it in leaf litter and nods. âOkay. How do I play?â
With a delighted hop, you grab his wrist and drag him away from the clearing where he was hunched over. âSayaâs hiding somewhere near the village, we justââ
âVillage?â He repeats warily, freezing before you can drag him too far.
As he tugs you to a halt, you turn to face him. He has a sizable amount of height over you for a kid who seems to share your age. If it werenât for the rounded cheeks and limited vocabulary you both share, you might think he was a bigger kid.
âYeah, my parents are there,â you explain simply, attempting to tug him once more.
âNo.â He holds his ground. âI wonât go near your village.â
âWhy not?â You pout, hands on your hips indignantly.
He stares back with equal indignance. âThey wonât like me.â
For all of your naivety and innocence, you canât begin to understand where heâs coming from. âThey have to meet you before they can like you!â You insist. âDuh.â
He scowls, but as you tug his wrist once more, he obliges and follows after you.
âSaya loves climbing!â You explain, casting a glance back at the uncertain boy. âCheck the trees!â
As you bound between thick cedar stumps, kicking up leaves and dirt, the little boy rather quietly allows you to drag him with you. âWhat do you do when you find Saya?â
âThen one of us will hide instead! Have you really never played?â
âNever.â
âItâll be fun!â You insist, slowing your pace as you near one of Sayaâs favorite spots. The trees in this particular clearing are prime for climbing with branches low enough that even a clumsy four-year-old can make their way up into the overhanging greenery.
Sure enough, as you slow to a halt, the boyâs head whips around as something catches his attention. Hackles raised, he steps back on bare feet, hands braced before him as though he might need to defend himself.
Confusion is clear on your expression as you watch his strange reaction before following his gaze curiously. âFound you!â
Sayaâs face peers from behind the cover of leaves, wide auburn eyes focused on the little boy a few steps behind you who cautiously eyes her. âWho are you?â She calls down, pushing short raven-black hair behind her ear.
âThis is Ryo!â You introduce him with an exaggerated wave of your hand as though youâre presenting a discovery. Which, one could suppose you are.
She leaps from branch to branch, landing heavily in leaves that are too summer-green to crunch quite yet. She confidently strides up to him, standing between you both with hands on her hips as she evaluates the robes that he swims in, his arms barely visible under the sea of silken fabrics. Were they his size, one might think he had come from money.
Sheâs silent for a long moment as she curiously looks over the protrusion on his face. His gaze hardens, a small frown forming as he braces, whenâ
âNot fair,â Saya finally decides, turning back towards you with an arm outstretched towards Sukuna. âHe helped you find me!â
Proudly beaming, you nod. âSee!â You insist, leaning around Saya. âI told you it would be fun!â
Slowly, he lowers his guard as his hands fall to his sides. He examines Saya and nods decisively, as though coming to terms with the fact that sheâs equally as little of a threat as you are.
âOkay, your turn to hide!â You insist as you turn to the little boy. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, dried hareâs blood falling from his skin in little flakes. âNot too far, though.â
He blinks, standing upright as though he was carrying something on his shoulders initially and has finally set it down. His shoulders are more relaxed, his gait more event as he agrees, a hint of something genuine behind his irises. Had you blinked, you might even miss the slight tilt to his lips. He nods, and bounds off as you and Saya count.
As the sun travels across the sky, the shadows being cast by the layer of leaves overhead grow longer. You hide in bushes while Saya slinks through the trees, and Sukuna curls under large root growths protruding from the underbrush.
Hide and seek turns into an unfair game of tag as you realize Sukunaâs legs are far longer than yours. Itâs not until you hear Sayaâs father calling that your games slow with a defeated groan. Sukuna freezes, all signs of playfulness draining from his body as he steps back.
âComing!â Saya calls back, pushing up from the spot where she had tripped over own feet. âAre you going home, Ryo?â
His gaze is still trained on the space between the trees where Sayaâs fatherâs voice echoed. One eye briefly flickers towards her, a curiosity in itself that he seems capable of, but heâs still hyperfocused on the gap in the trees. âNo.â
Saya exchanges a glance with you. âWhere are you going after this?â
He backs himself closer to the tree behind him. âMy rabbit.â
Your nose wrinkles as Sayaâs face twists in confusion. âYou canât eat that!â You insist. âYou have to cook it first!â
He shrugs, still gradually moving back as though he might retreat any moment. You reach out to take his wrist, fingers curled around it softly. âCome with us. My mama cooks so good!â
The boy adamantly shakes his head, a hand rising to touch the eye that protrudes from the left side of his face. âI have to go.â
Adamantly tugging his wrist closer to you, you shake your head. âPleeeaaase!â
As Saya nods by your side, the little boyâs entire demeanor shifts, as though the afternoon has had more of an effect on him than he could have imagined. His lips part as he contemplates your offer, his gaze sliding between you and your short-haired friend. His head swivels back in the direction of his early afternoon kill, the closest thing he has to home, before his chest rises and falls in a huff. âOkay.â
The run back through the wooded paths youâve grown used to is short even as you pull Sukuna behind you. His robes drag through hardened mud, picking up twigs and thorns along the way until you reach the outer edge of the village.
Your newest friend lowers his gaze. His hand pushes back through his spiky pink locks as though it might prevent those around him from getting a good look at him. Sayaâs father is at the outer edge of their crops awaiting his daughter.
The manâs expression relaxes as Saya runs up to him, clambering at his sleeves as she excitedly tells him that she got to climb the tallest tree ever. Itâs when she mentions making a new friend that the manâs expression falters. He lifts his attention to Sukuna a step behind you, the right half of his body tilted away from the adult.
His jaw clenches at the sight of the grime-covered boy as he makes his way slowly towards you both. Patting your head in greeting, the man moves just past you, kneeling down. Face-to-face with Sukuna, he introduces himself, met only with a short âhelloâ when Sukuna makes no moves to look up.
âWhere are your parents?â
Sukunaâs hand falls from his hair. Before he can even reply, Sayaâs fatherâs balance falters and he stumbles back. A stunned expression dons his features as he casts a glance between you two girls and back at Sukuna.
The boy hesitates. âGone.â
Uneasily eyeing the child, Sayaâs father calls for his wife. She must sense his concern, as she makes haste to his side. He eyes your friend as he whispers to her, his words lost on all three of you. Still, Sayaâs mother regards the little boy with sympathy as he peers up from beneath his lashes in a pile of dirty fabrics.
Her brow knits as she speaks to her husband in a tone you manage to catch, something akin to disbelief. She must make a decision of her own volition as she steps forward, kneeling before Sukuna. âWhatâs your name, dear?â
Sukuna blinks, glancing sidelong at you. âRyo.â
Sayaâs mother cracks a smile. âHow lovely. Letâs get you indoors. You need to be cleaned up.â
The boyâs expression morphs into something of shock, but he obliges, letting the kind woman take his hand as she leads him inside. As Sayaâs mother extends her kindness to the child in need, her father gathers your parents within their home. As you and your friend play with a number of wooden figures on the floor, the adultsâ conversation is mostly lost on you, although you catch bits and pieces.
ââcould he be a descendant from the tales?â
ââwhat if he does it againââ
ââkillââ
ââhe cannot be seenââ
ââthe real monster here isââ
ââthere is no reason to be unkindââ
Your attention rises to the door as your fatherâs closest friendâthe village leaderâ joins the gathered adults. They exchange greetings, filling him in on details. Itâs not until Sukuna and Sayaâs mother return that you gather that thereâs a level of severity to the discussion theyâre having about nothing more than a little boy. Your new friend.
The silence is thick as your parents and your fatherâs friend both get a look at the boy.
Freshly bathed with strands of pink sticking up in all directions and robes that are moderately closer to his size, he looks far more presentable. The robes seem to bunch oddly in his middle section, almost as though heâs hidden something beneath them. He has a few scrapes along his hands and arms and a small cut on his cheek, but otherwise he mostly just seems tired. His eyes have a droop to them telling of a child who needs a nap. Still, he doesnât seem to think twice as he comes to join you and Saya on the floors, his legs folding beneath him as he picks up a wooden figure to examine it.
Glances are exchanged between the adults. Whispers ripple through the shadows. Itâs Sayaâs mother who puts herself out there for the boy.
âWe will not be throwing him out,â she adamantly states. âHe is the same age as your daughter, could you truly treat him in such a way knowing that?â She accuses her husband. Your father shares his shame, though if the village leaderâ Murata-sanâ has any reservations, theyâre quieter.
âHow are we meant to take him in? No one can see a boy like that. Heâll be killed.â
âI will take him in.â
All heads whip towards Murata.
âIt may be his only chance at safety,â he explains as though itâs a no-brainer. His green eyes narrow in Sukunaâs direction. âBesides, is he not just a child?â
He leaves behind little room for doubt as they find the boy already nodding off on the floor. For all of the uncertainty gathered in the room, no one can deny that the little boy slowly slumping over is as human as they come, no matter what the hateful may say.
â
No living creature could ever hope for a life of loneliness. Even the most solitary of creatures will seek out habitats where others roam nearby. Even those shunned from their own homes long for a life of companionship.
Perhaps thatâs what brought you together. Without prejudice, you see him for what he is, and still want his friendship.
The boy once treated like the plague and discarded after an early life of vitriol and violence had already amounted his life to one of loneliness. At only five years old he hides in his adopted fatherâs fields. At age four, he scavenged for berries and sliced rabbits in an effort to keep his head above water. At age three he writhed and screamed for his mother as he was torn from her grasp, unknowingly awakening a boy with the potential to be a cursed king.
Abandoned by the gods, he knows only the cruelty of man, the child of tragedy itself.
You and Saya, however, take his beliefs down another path. Perhaps heâs still shunned by those who donât understand him, but you offer him peace, solace, and normalcy.
âRyoooo!â You call out into the crops where he can usually be found. You canât see him through the large plant stalks, but a small shuffle in the distance tells you that youâve captured his attention.
He emerges in a flash of pink from between the wheat stalks.Â
In the year since you met, heâs grown into quite the little helper around the more rural areas of the village. He grows like a weed, always a good couple of inches over your head. Murata-san often complains about the rate in which new fabrics go to use, though you might argue the real issue is his tendency to rip them.
He may not be as talkative as Saya or as curious as you are, but he makes a great listener and heâs adept at your favourite games.
The hat he dons blocks much of his blood-red eyes, but his left eye glints with intrigue as he awaits what you called him for.
âThereâs a celebration today, you should come! Saya and I are gonna go look!â
For a split second, something akin to thrill passes over his expression. It doesnât last when he casts a glance back in the direction of his home. âI canât.â
âIs your father making you work again?â You pout.
His lip twitches. âYes.â
âCome on, can you just sneak away for a little bit?â
His grimace widens, but itâs not an immediate no. Youâve come to know that he can be convinced fairly easily to sneak away if it means spending time with you and Saya. You seldom invite the other children to play, as the rest of the boys have always been far too rough, but Sukuna has the tendency to keep to himself.
âFine,â he sighs. âIf Murata-Sensei finds out, he wonât be happy,â Sukuna frowns, casting a glance back through the fields where his home lies in wait.
âHe wonât find out!â You insist with all the care of a young child, positively brimming with excitement. âCome on!â Taking hold of his wrist, you drag him away from the fields. The coarse fiber of his sage-green garments gathers at the point where your limbs are tangled, brushing your arm.
âIâll be underdressed for the celebration,â he mutters as you drag him further from the home where the crops are his sanctity and shelter from prying eyes.
âWeâre just watching!â You insist, âItâs for the adults, anyway. Theyâre doing archery!â You glance back, beaming.
That seems to get his attention. âArchery?â No longer allowing you to drag him to Sayaâs, he catches up with you as you lead the way to the home tucked within the back corner of the village.
With his interest now piqued, you pridefully hold the information over his head. âMhmm! Itâs a competition. Theyâre showing off for the emperor!â
Sukuna stiffens, his steps faltering. Your hand tears from his wrist as he stops dead in his tracks. âThe emperor will be there?â
Stopping to peer back at him, you tilt your head. âYeah. Why?â
Your friendâs jaw tightens. For as much as he appreciates your friendship, youâve never really clicked with the fact that heâs different. In spite of his different face, youâve always struggled to grasp that not everyone views him with so little prejudice. At times, heâs grateful for your childish impartiality.
Other times, heâs reminded of how alone he is in the world.
It settles heavily in his chest as you happily wave your wide sleeves through the air, awaiting his response.
âThe emperorâŠâ He grits his teeth, casting his glance aside as he spares you the gruesome details. âHe wonât like me.â
Too naive to understand, you surge forward to grab his wrist again. âI told you, weâll just be watching anyway!â
His brow furrows, but he lets you drag him to Sayaâs house. Being within a farm-abundant village sets the houses a small distance from another, something heâs grown to appreciate as it allows him to remain in the shadows of the kind man who took him in. Heâs strict and particular, but Sukuna would never mistake that for unkindness. Heâs treated well, and even at his young age, the child has learned better than to take that for granted and not return that respect.
He stands behind you as Saya emerges from her house at the knock of your knuckles. Sheâs dressed up in pinks that match your kimono. Crimson irises flit down to his attire, the hemp woven into a coarse material that keeps him safe from the sun as he wanders the land behind Murataâs houseâ his house. He doesnât feel nearly as done-up as you and Saya are. Regardless of your dismissal of his concerns, he still feels underdressed for the occasion.
âYou look so pretty!â You gasp as Saya twirls at the door.
âThanks!â She grins in the flower-laden kimono. âMama put the flowers on it!â She gleefully shows off the embroidered detailing along the sleeves. Her hands fall to her sides with the rustling of the excess material. âAre you guys excited?â
âYes!â You hop in place as Sukuna quietly nods at your side. âI love watching the archers! We need to make sure we donât miss it,â you insist with the sun high in the sky.
The three of you tear through the field outside Sayaâs house, kicking up dirt and dust in your trail without a care at all. One would almost think you were on top of the world, just three care-free children on their way to a celebration that your parents deemed unnecessary for the three of you to attend. But what reasonable five-year-old listens to the rhetoric of a parent?
Sneaking through the trees in a flurry of giggles, you find yourself on the outer edge of the gathering quickly. You stick close to trees in case youâre spotted by anyone, let alone your parents.
âWhereâs the archery?â Saya whispers, clinging to the bark of the tree youâre hidden behind as she peers at the crowd.
âIt must be what everyone is looking at,â you murmur, staring up above you. âClimb the tree, Saya!â
âGood idea!â She whispers back without a care at all for the Kimono sheâs wearing. She clambers at the bark, trying to get a good foothold on anything, but the tree is taller than what she can manage. âRyo, help!â She pleads with the tallest, whoâs scowling quietly as he cautiously watches the crowd.
Still, he steps forward and tries to help lift Saya.
âPut your foot on my knee.â
âYouâre slippery!â
âYou kicked me!â
âJust a bit higher!â
âOw!â
With all of the kerfuffle, itâs a miracle you arenât heard. Saya scales the branches once she reaches the first one, tossing her sandals down once she realizes theyâre a detriment to her climbing.
âYou almost hit me!â The boy at your side grumpily whisper-yells, fully scowling at this point with his arms crossed as he side-steps the shoe.
âYeah, but I didnât!â
âStop fighting,â you insist, more focused on the celebration in the clearing ahead. âDo you see it?â
No longer distracted, Saya seats herself atop a branch. âTheyâre just starting! Get up here!â
Hopping up and down, you shed your own sandals without putting Sukuna in danger this time, and turn to him gleefully. âHelp me up!â
His frown tightens, but he obliges. You use his thigh as leverage as he hoists you up to the best of his ability while you pull yourself up to the first branch. Saya helps with footing as you make your way to her side, shortly followed by the pink-haired boy. As the three of you plop down on a pair of strong branches, youâre able to finally get a good look at the competition, and the emperorâs men, though you donât see the man himself.
Your eyes are full of wonder as you watch arrows soar through the air. You recognize one of your fatherâs friends among the line of archers, alongside many people youâve seen around but scarcely remember.
âI want Okamoto-san to win!â You proclaim, pointing out your fatherâs friend.
âNo way!â Saya nudges your shoulder as she points out where his arrow landed on his target. âHis arrow is way off!â
âI know but they fire more than one arrow, Saya!â
Within the cover of the trees, Sukuna relaxes at your side, his arms clinging to the branch beneath him as he stares down at his dangling feet. The air is still warm from the mid-afternoon sun as it filters through the leaves above, and the breeze is nice on his skin.
The sun knows not real warmth compared to you and Saya, though. Even bickering at his side over pointless drivel, his friends are what truly provide him with the kind of happiness that could keep any kid content. Even as the sensation that he shouldnât be here creeps up on him, he finds himself drawn to your conversation.
âI could be a great archer someday,â you proclaim, mimicking the archery pose used by those with far more experience than you.
âYou canât be an archer,â Saya reminds you with the sort of resignation thatâs typical of someone forced into the box of societal expectations herself. âYouâre supposed to run the farm like your mom,â she states, a reminder of how your futures are more than likely shaped for you.
âI think you could be,â Sukuna chimes in, not privy to the expectations of your father after only having known you both for a year. Heâs far too young to grasp much for societal norms beyond that of oneâs appearance.
You whip your head around, kicking your feet out beneath you with a beam. âThanks!â You stick your tongue out at Saya triumphantly, which has your friend giggling.
âWell maybe I can be an empress someday, then!â
âYou already look like one!â You beam as though half of the battle is solved. âI would defend you from big bad monsters.â You shut one eye as you mimic an archery pose once again, spine straightened with one arm extended and the other bent. âI want pretty pink armor to match your kimono.â
âWhat about you, Ryo?â
Sukunaâs gaze falls to the underbrush several feet below in thought. âI can be a monster, I guess.â
Both of your heads tilt in confusion. âWhat? No way!â You exclaim. âYou would be the mightiest warrior there is!â You shift on the branch, painting a picture before you with the exaggerated motions of your hands. âWhen youâre all grown up, youâre gonna be the biggest and most loved that there is!â You grin.
Sukunaâs cheeks warm at your proclamation. He scratches haphazardly at what you can only guess are extra materials gathered at his waist that must be itchy, though he pulls his hand back suddenly like youâve caught him doing something he shouldnât be. âMaybe,â he agrees, though for once itâs nice to feel included.
âCome on, theyâre taking too long for the next round,â Saya whines as she clings to the branch and makes a motion for you both to get down. âLetâs go play empress and warriors!â
As your group clambers from the tree and runs off in the direction of your farm, Sukuna takes on the role of a mighty warrior leader. He chases Yokai and fends off opposing armies with his most trusted archer at his side for the mighty empress. Cucumbers are prematurely pulled from the crops surrounding you as they become unfortunate fodder for Sukunaâs mighty wooden dowel, a pile of bruised and dirtied vegetables that youâll surely be reprimanded for once your mother finds them.
When his back is turned is when Saya tosses the biggest one she can find, catching him by surprise as heâs thrown off-balance, just barely catching himself.
When he stands up with an indignant huff and brushes the dirt from his clothes with not one, but two pairs of arms as the second tears through the tie of his upper garments, thatâs when you all take pause. Heâs caught between two owlish pairs of eyes, equally incredulous expressions regarding him. A cold sweat gathers on his brow as he takes a step back.
No. Not you and Saya. Anyone but you two.
âI donâtâ I wonâtââ His thoughts choke him as he searches for words when tears gather at his furrowed brow. Panic rises, gripping his chest and bringing a level of incoherency to his already childish vocabulary. âI wonât do it again.â It comes out choked, nearly as a sob, when he desperately tries to pull his limbs back under the fabrics of his robes, haphazardly attempting to conceal them again although the fabric wonât cooperate. âI promise,â he murmurs as cold dread creeps up his spine and tears well frustratingly in his young eyes.
Still, as neither of you make a move to spit cruelties at him or restrain him, he doesnât know how to react. Warm tears well and fall down tanned cheeks too young to know the pain of rejection, of the cold and biting nights, or hunger.
In what feels like a painful rejection of his body to his mind, he blinks heavily, revealing yet another secret as you and Saya are met with four fearful red irises.
âYou have⊠four arms and eyes?â Saya finally pipes up, rocking back and forth on her heels as though sheâs just counted them herself.
His fists ball at his sides as he backs away.
âThatâs so cool!â You yell in your fit of excitement, stepping forward with a hand out and no regard for personal space.
Sukuna flinches as you approach him, the lower set of hands pulled towards his torso as something emptily slices through the air between you. You pull back at the strange sound as the air moves in ways youâve never seen, staring curiously at him as it visibly clicks for him what youâve just said. âCool?â He mutters hoarsely, an air of resentment to his voice, although it doesnât appear to be directed at either of you.
âYeah!â You take another step forward, slower now as you extend your hand cautiously. His gaze flickers wildly between you and Saya, lowering to your hand as you curiously examine his arms. âCan I see?â
Saya is close behind you, as inquisitive as you are as Sukuna warily holds out one of the arms he usually keeps hidden. You canât say what youâre expecting, itâs just another arm, but it confirms that youâre not seeing things. When youâre a child, thatâs pretty cool.
âYou could hold two bows!â You loudly exclaim, your mind wandering to the farthest reaches of possibility.
Your newer friendâs face contorts into disbelief, working through multiple stages of acceptance that youâre completely unbothered, before he finally envisions himself holding two bows. âWhat? No, how am I supposed to aim?â
âOh.â Your shoulders fall as you picture him holding a bow on either side, his limbs horribly tangled. âBut you could load a new arrow so fast! Or, orâ! You could holdââ
ââ four swords!â Saya chimes in excitedly as you finish the thought together, giggling in excitement.
Sukunaâs arms, all four, fall to his sides as his extra eyes blink at the both of you, unable to comprehend your fearless and accepting reactions. Even the children from his last village spewed scorn at him, what makes you both so different? He wants to associate it with the fact that you already know him and are friends, but even from the day you met, you never batted an eye at how different he was.
But something changed, in that moment. For Sukuna was no longer the cursed child, but a friend. Maybe life was different for him, maybe his time would be spent with two eyes closed and two arms hidden, but he didnât have to do that around you or Saya any longer.
Bewildered, he stands silently as you both imagine worlds where heâs an emperor, the strongest, the kind of person people look up to. The kind of thing he could only ever dream. Coming from both of you, it feels more tangible, like he could reach out and grasp at it.
âCome on, Ryo,â you call, snapping him from his trance as you begin running off in another direction. He blinks, starting slowly as he makes a move to follow you. âYou have to lead our army to save Saya!â
His short legs move faster, padding over dirt and patches of dried mud as he chases after you both with a wide grin on his face, the tears a long forgotten piece of his past.
main masterlist || series masterlist || next â” - coming soon
⎠a/n ; i hope you're enjoying it so far!! please be prepared for angst for these poor babies :') each scene will be from different points in their lives and childhoods for the first few chapters, and we'll follow them well into adulthood as well. i think the shorter chapters give me the space to put out work more frequently too which i'm really liking, and i'll likely work on the occasional other series or oneshot as well. i hope to share a lot more work!! anyway, tysm for all the excitement for this series and for reading <33
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
ÊâșË Â» synopsis: your roommate and childhood best friend, yuji itadori, has two secrets he swears he'll drag to his grave: 1) he has a crush on you. 2) he's spider-man. spoiler: he's awful at keeping either.
ÊâșË Â» w.c: 18k, art cred: ig@/baaoozheăfluff, angst, smut, spiderman au, college au, living together, childhood friends, domestic fluff, cuddling, dogs, cooking together, kissing, tooth-rotting fluff, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), implied domestic abuse, happy ending.
ÊâșË Â» songs: playlistănotes: part 1, part 2, part 3 in wip!! i love spider-man and yuji so much like this actually feels like a proposal omg... ps: the playlist is like vibes i think this spider!yuji fic would have- hope you guys enjoy!!
Yuji Itadori has never wanted to be the centre of attention. Not even when he lands the biggest home run of the decade, or when he crosses another finish line first, smashing records the campus wonât stop bragging about.
As soon as the clock strikes seven, heâs gone.Â
No frats, no parties, no messy drama. In the kindest, nicest phrasing possible, heâs a dud. Heâll even disappear mid-conversation too, sprinting off with some sorry excuse of a âstudy session.â And if youâve ever seen his grades, youâd wonder how these âstudy sessionsâ even happen at all.
Well, he is a jockâand he is reciting his script for tomorrowâs anthropology presentation... Just with someone else hanging upside down beside him, cocooned in sticky white web on some cityside rooftop.
...Hold up. Rewind one hour.
Gunshots echoed, bullets ricocheting, and in the midst of this circus of a firework show, there Yuji wasâdodging clattering cans, cartons, and cereal boxes he was trying to save.
The robber, in his ridiculous ski mask, barreled through the aisles in his frantic craze with his crowbar.Â
âOut of my way!â he shouted, knocking over another pyramid of canned chickpeas.
Yuji smirked.
Suddenly, a web shot out from his wrist, and the robber yelped as the strand snagged his ankle, tripping him into innocent chips. Itâs almost pitiful as his arms flailed helplessly, packs crashing at the spectacle. With a grin, Yuji shot another string of white around the manâs torso.
âRelax! Iâm the friendly neighbourhood jockâwait, superhero! Friendly neighbourhood superhero!â
Though the robber still spun in place, tumbling like a washing machine on spin cycle,
âYou littleââ
Yuji fired again, webbing his arms and yanking him upright, Â
âOhhh, you like being dramatic? We can do dramatic.â
Another around the legs, another around the torso, and suddenly the man found himself dangling midair like a piñataâarms pinned to his sides, legs stiff as broomsticks.
A jar of olives bounced off his head for emphasis.
âPUT ME DOWN! WHAT IS THISâ?!â
With a swing from the shelf, Yuji landed with flair, crouching on a layered stack of cereal boxes as he grinned in amusement.
âRelax, dude. Youâre⊠uh⊠artfully suspended. Also, please stop moving, youâre making me dizzy.â
To his dismay, the robber still gyrated, knocking over carts and cans skittering across like tiny rockets. Thankfully, Yuji ducked just in time. With a sigh, he simply shot another web again.
âHold still! Or I swear, Iâllâwait, nope, Iâm not threatening you. Iâm⊠just trying to help! With style!â
So, fast-forward to now, and really, itâs just another Tuesday in 2010s New York.
âThe main cultural differences shape America inââ
âHey! Can you let me down already?!â
Yuji, eyes squinted, snaps his head toward the man, coins jingling from his pockets. But he isnât frowning at the robber⊠He just canât read his notebook properly, especially with the thin fabric over his eyes. Each word is blurred into hazy smudges of grey.
Sometimes, Yuji Itadori doesnât mind being the centre of attention.
Not when he's wearing the tight red-and-blue jumpsuit Nobara had stitched for him, seams puckered in all her nagging perfection.
Not when Megumiâs techâdefinitely not borrowed, not stolen from his labâglimmers faintly at his wrists.
And not when local news crews are scrambling to post grainy cellphone footage online, captions labelled with ridiculous, corny hashtags like #NYCSpidey, #OvercaffeinatedAcrobat, and #UnmaskThisGuy.
As soon as his last lecture of the day ends, he pulls down the mask, slips into the famous suit, and swings through the empire city that never sleeps.
Heâs not Yuji Itadori anymore. Heâs Spider-Man.
But tonight, though, he has an even greater problem than petty robberies and saving cats in trees. He has college.
âDude, can you keep it down? I have an assignment due tomorrow and Iâm stuck here babysitting youââ
Police sirens wail in the distance, cutting him off. And underneath his mask, he simply smirks, snapping his notebook shut as red and blue sweep across the graffitiâscrawled walls.
âAaand thatâs my cue.â
With a flick of his wrist, the man is left gaping, flailing uselessly as Yuji leaps from the ledge.Â
The moon hangs low and full tonight. In the midst of its glow, he arcs over streets, headlights glinting like glass, weaving in between scaffolding poles. Trash swirls in the gusts around him, while faint damp concrete lingers as he glides past flickering streetlamps.
The grids of blocks lie dark, the breeze sharp, yet every window glimmers with golden light; theyâre constellations scattered across the city that guide him home.
Even if what he does is nowhere near world-changing, heâs always reminded that the city is full of life, narratives. Every window, every golden light that spills through each pane of glass, hides a storyâa heartbeatâand that fact alone is enough to lessen the weight of his double life just a bit.
As always, while swinging past, his gaze skims the streets, searching through the blur of headlights and shadows. He finds you like clockwork. Trudging home, arms full of groceries: a paper bag with lettuce, a baguette tucked under your arm, and vegetables brimming atop. Youâre humming a song from your dangling earbuds, oblivious to the world around you.
He doesnât mean to stare, but when you live in the same flat, coming home at the same time he clocks out from patrol⊠well, itâs only natural he makes sure his crush roommate gets home safe, too, right?
âI wonder what sheâs making tonightâŠâ he mutters.
With one soft push, he slips his window open and dives back inside.
The wooden floor doesnât even creak under his landing, and the globe lamp atop his desk glows like a dim moon over scattered paper. He passes sticky notes plastered across his wall, zipping out his suit and tossing his book onto the bed. Stepping out, he flicks on the hallway lightsâand it isnât long before he hears the usual.Â
Your keys, the gentle click of the lock, and the first step you take inside, wrapped in the flatâs cosy warmth.
âWelcome back!â Yuji beams, hair tousled.
You nod back with a smile, shutting the door behind as you toe off your shoes. As you set the bag of groceries onto the kitchen island, you give him a smug smirk,
âDid you just wake up?â
His eyes dart away, guilty, all while he rubs the back of his neck. A sheepish chuckle escapes.
â...Maybe?â
You raise an eyebrow, sighing as he pulls a chair from the island.Â
Ever since you moved in together with your childhood friend, youâve learned three things about him: he eats terribly, naps like a cat, and will stare at you from the corner of the room with glassy, desperate eyes if he ever smells food.
And whether he admits it or not, you know when to drag him by the wrist, plop him down in front of a bowl, and pour him something warm. Youâve done it since high school. Youâre still doing it now.
Sure, heâs stubborn, but so are you, and tonight is no different.
âIâm just making some simple tomato soup,â you say, spreading the groceries across the counter.
The city skyline glitters faintly from behind him, setting aglow the twinkling fascination in his golden eyes.
âBecause youââ you tap his forehead with a finger, nudging him back, âare finishing your presentation script tonight. And Iâm helping you with it.â
His eyes widen.Â
âWhat?! How do you know about that?â
âIf I have to hear Megumi complain one more time about you cramming your share of the load,â you groan, washing the vegetables, âI might start seeing both of you in my dreams.â
âOopsâŠâ Yuji whistles, caught red-handed.
In the corner of your eye, you see him drift over as you slice the tomatoes.
âCan I help you cook then? Yâknow⊠as repayment?âÂ
You nearly slice the tip of your finger at the audacity, but his hands, as usual, catch your wrist before anything disastrous happens.
âYou?â
You turn to look at him, his smile as bright as ever.
âThe last time you offered, everything tasted bland.â
He pouts under your gazeâlips pursed, brows scrunched.
âIâll never learn if I donât try...â
A beat passes.
You sigh in resignation, and thatâs all he needs. Yujiâs already pumping his fists triumphantly in the air, snatching the spare apron hanging off the oven handle.
âLetâs goooo!â he cheers.
You giggle at his flippant victory cry, but you donât notice how his gaze lingers on you in the soft golden kitchen lightâthe curve of your eyes, the bloom of your cheeks. Heâs taller than you, so it goes unnoticed, hidden in the shadow between you.
âAnd this time, donât forget the salt,â you tease, stepping toward the pot.
âYeah, yeahâoh! Put on that Cowboy Bebop opening. Itâs been stuck in my head all day.â
You frown, eyeing the tiny apron stretched ridiculously over his frame. Your thumbâs already swiping across your battered iPhone 4, searching. When the first chord blasts, Yuji just stares.
âBased on how youâre holding that knife,â you chortle, âthis feels more fitting.â
ââŠYou think Iâm gonna break into kung-fu fighting?!â
You shrug mockingly, moving to boil the water as he sputters just beside you. And it isnât long before the kitchen settles into a cosy rhythmâthe chop of vegetables, the hiss of butter, the soft swirl of simmering brothâand of course, your constant two-minute interval scoldings.
âWâWhy are the tomatoes diced like that?â
âIâI swear someone did this on Hellâs Kitchen last nightââ
âI told you a little oil. Why is the pan half full?!â
âUhâŠâ
âIâm monitoring what kind of weird cooking shows youâre watching from now on.â
The soupâs fragrance fills the roomâsun-ripe tomatoes, roasted garlic, and basil blooming bright with butter. It smells like warmth, like home, and the little life youâve carved out together. Even Yuji stops mid-chop, knife still hovering in the air, just to inhale.
âHere you go,â you say, sliding the bowl toward him.
He drops into his chairâshoulders rolling, a quiet sigh slipping past his lips. He thinks you donât notice, but his fingers are still faintly red around the knuckles. The moment his eyes land on the bowl, something bright flickers in him.
The soup glows a deep orange-red, thick and velvety, droplets of olive oil shimmering across its sheen like tiny flecks of gold. Steam curls upward, brushing his cheeks, and in the dead of winter, the warmth blooms against him like late summer. Softening the night sky, brightening it like morning light.
When he takes the first spoonful, his eyes go wide.
Silence hangs in the room, but he just sets the spoon down gently, shoulders dropping another inch. He takes another bite, slower, and holds it in on his tongue. Under the table, his foot taps out its usual restless beat to a steady rhythm.
You have no idea what kind of day heâs had to be this hungry.
You donât see the scuff on the side of his shoe, from where he landed too fast on the rooftop across the street. Or the tiny tear at the hem of his sleeve, where something sharp grazed him. Or the way heâd winced when you turned away earlier, instantly straightening as if nothing had happened.
All you see is Yujiâsunshine, sweetnessâdevouring the soup as if itâs literally saving him. You quietly rest your chin in your hands, grinning while he inhales spoonful after spoonful, like itâs the single greatest thing heâs tasted all week.
âIs it good?â you coo.
He nods so fast his hair bounces, and a smear of soup ends up on the corner of his lip. He doesnât notice, but you do, and youâre giggling before you can stop yourself.
You turn toward the window, watching the city smear into streaks of gold and red, and in that split second, he lifts his gaze, eyes catching on you. His spoon pauses halfway to his mouth, suspended in midair, forgotten for the still of a heartbeat.
His breath stumbles, chest rising too quickly in the quiet. Goosebumps prick along his arms, and this time, it isnât from the danger his sixth sense is warning him of. Itâs from the way the skyline burns in your eyes, as if every light in New York decided to gather just to admire you with him.
He catches the soft amber strokes on your cheeks as your small smile curls like cotton-soft warmthâand underneath the dim neon glow, you look too gentle for the shadows, too bright for the night. For a breathless moment, he wants to steal you away.
To borrow you from the world, and keep this evening tucked somewhere only for the two of you.
â...Letâs go see something.â
The words slip out before he can catch them.
You blink up at him, and the room instantly falls away, softened to all but a hush of the world.
âWhat?â
Heâs already getting up from his seat, draping his jacket over your shoulders as he takes your bowl. He reaches out your hand, and after a few seconds, you finally cave in. Leading you to the window, he pushes it open to the rushing cold air.
âWhat are youââ
âTrust me.â
He steps onto the fire escapeâs metal platform. You hesitate for only a heartbeat, then follow, fingertips brushing the cold iron railing. Halfway up, he glances back at you, and his smile spills across the dim rooftop glow. Brighter than Manhattanâs windows, brighter than the neon signs, and even more so than the giddiness in your chest.
Your heart stutters for a bit.
The hum of traffic drifts up from below, weaving through the gaps in the grating, and when you reach the rooftop, the wind tugs at your clothes, ruffling hair and jacket alike. Stretched beneath you was the entire glitter of New York ahead, a glowing chaos of gold veins and shadows.
You suck in a breath, clutching Yujiâs jacket tighter around your shoulders.
â...Itâs beautiful,â you whisper.
He doesnât look at the shimmering skyline, but only at you. The spark in your eyes catching the glint of distant lights. Sitting down, he pats away the dust beside him, pulling you down to follow him. You plop yourself down, knees brushing.
âRight? When things are heavy, I like to sit and just watch the lights from above.â
Giggling, you take the warm bowl from his hands, the heat spreading through your fingers and mingling with the steam curling like tiny ghosts between you.
âI didnât know you were also a rooftop climber.â
He flinches slightly, but you donât notice, lost as you are in the flickering tapestry of lights and the comforting weight of his jacket draped around your shoulders.
â...Thanks,â you murmur.
He tilts his head to your voice, and his smile blooms like a lantern in the cold fluorescent glow of the city. He notices the dark circles under your eyes, the slump of your shoulders while cooking, and the faint, heavy sighs. Time hangs between you, quiet.Â
âIs it because of your mother?âÂ
He doesnât mean to pry. He simply waits, patient and quiet.
Years ago, when he was fourteen and the weight of the world had abandoned him to debt and despair, it was you who had pulled him into the light.
You, who had brought him home, were pleading with your parents to let him stay, working alongside him through three jobs, shielding him from bullies, and carving out space for him in a world that had none.
And it wasn't because of pityâit was simply because it was right.
And that small, steady truth had been more than enough for him to realise, walking home together one evening, that life without you was unthinkable. Impossible.
But ever since that incident, Yuji spends his nights differently now, wondering if he even still has the right to be sitting next to you. Perhaps thatâs why heâs swinging across buildings now, a distraction to the ache he canât name. The tugging knot of fear that writhes from his core.
âMm⊠same old,â you murmur, eyes drifting to the golden veins of streets below, lids heavy.
âYou know Iâm always here for you, right?âÂ
You shift your gaze toward him. His brows crease, jaw tight, lips parted, as if heâs waiting for a question youâve buried too deep to speak. Yet your hands move betrayingly, fingers brushing against his, seeking him out over the coarse, cold brick beneath you.
He threads his fingers through yours with an ease so natural, it terrifies you. A knot coils low in your stomach, tightening with every heartbeat, your hand trembling beneath the gentle heat of his.
The wind tugs at your hair, lights flickering beyond the skyline like tiny stars. Amidst the faint hum of traffic and the electric scent of the city, each glow pulses, just like the racing of your heart.
You can feel it, the quiet certainty in his touch. You know he means it. You really do.
But even so, your lips betray you. They tremble against a single word, from the weight of too many nights spent replaying every thought, every fear.
â...Thanks.â
A fragile whisper, soft as paper, heavy as stone.
Somewhere far below, a taxi honks. Somewhere far above, a neon sign blinks. But in between both, itâs just the two of you. And even with all the uncertainty, the nights, and the unspoken truths that linger between breaths, you settle.
This litany of quiet is enough.
Itâs eleven o'clock out, the sun is stupidly bright, and you want to die. Likeâcrawl six feet under and stay burrowed in thereâdie.Â
âSee you tomorrow!â the woman calls as you leave, a paper bag of tangerines digging into your fingers.
You flash her a beaming smile, hiding your soul-rotting exhaustion. The doorâs jingle follows you onto the bustling sidewalk.
New York is already in full chaos mode. Yellow cabs are barking at each other, crowds are shoving downstream like human traffic jams, and tourists are wrestling with crumpled city maps like theyâre cursed.
When you glance up, you see the usual pigeons parading shop awnings, lined like entitled landlords. Scaffolding poles crisscross above you, towering between skyscrapers, and your earphones dangle uselessly around your neck.
No song is strong enough to fight the throbbing migraine pulsing behind your eyes, and itâs probably because you were up until 5:00 a.m. helping Yuji.
The memory punches you in the brain.
âWhy the hell is it blank?â youâd blurtedâbecause how else were you supposed to react to that monstrosity?
You were both on the living room carpet, his laptop glowing tragically atop the coffee table. Yuji jerked his head toward you, scandalised.
âUm, no? Thereâs the title slide, the body slide, and the bullet points. Itâs got everything it needs.â
You didnât need a degree to see all the ways that was a crime, and maybe youâre just a saintâthatâs what he thinksâbut you were already storming into your room, grabbing your laptop.
âOkay, youââ you pointed at him, âwrite your script. Iâm fixing your slides.â
His eyes widened, watching as you flipped open your laptop, copied the link, and sent it over.
âWeâll revise the whole thing on four, andââ
Bla bla bla⊠your words were already blurring into the mindless static of Yujiâs head. In that deserted hollowness of a brain, there was just awe.
The way your focus sharpened, the way your brows pinched, the way you sank into a task like the world around you melted away⊠it was the same look youâd had four years prior.
When both of you still worked for some cramped, greasy kitchen in Queensâand then, heâd been elbowâdeep in suds, wrist aching, sweat sticking his bangs to his forehead.
Suddenly, you burst through the door.
âWhat theââ Yuji had jumped, nearly dropping a plate.
You didnât even flinch at his shock. You were already rolling up your sleeves, sweeping half his stack of dirty dishes into your arms.
âNo wonder youâre coming home at ten every day,â you muttered, scrubbing. âI asked the manager how many extra shifts you took. Care to explain?â
Yuji immediately paused. Your eyes still stayed focused on your side of the sink, though. The plate in his hand, the steam, and the music drifting faintly from the restaurantâs old radio all seemed to stop.
âWe need the money,â he said gently, the corner of his mouth tugging up in a hopeful smile.Â
He reached to take the plate from you,
âCome onâhand it back. Itâs my responsibility.â
Your grip didnât budge. You just glared at him from under your lashes.
âWe promised not to keep secrets from each other,â you murmured.
Silence fell. Only the muted hum of jazz seeped in from the dining area, trembling throughout the fragile string in the air.
Then you whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear.
â...It's not like I want to stay home either."
His stomach tightened.
You werenât supposed to sayâeven, feel that kind of hurt. Hell, he didn't want you to think of uttering those words... At least when he was by your side.
He opened his mouth. Closed it. But after a few moments of still silence, he dug his fingers into his palms.
His chest paused mid-rise.
âWeâre moving out as soon as I get paid.â
Your head snapped toward him. And there it wasâthat boyish grin. The same one heâd given you at six years old on the playground, when he offered you half his juice box just after you scraped your knee.
âI checked our savings,â he said softly. âWeâll have enough by this month.â
Your lips parted. Your eyes widened. And when the realisation hit you, Yuji quickly stripped off his gloves and ruffled your hair with a warm, shaking laugh.
âNew York, angel. New life.â
Your throat tightened. Your heart stopped.
And before you knew it, your vision was blurring up like fog. His hair still spun rose-gold, soft and shimmering through the garbleâand somehow, even through the haze, he was still the brightest thing in the room.
He had prayed to every God he knew to do anything, to never see you cry again. That if sadness ever had to choose, it would pick him, and not you.
So when your tears finally spilt under the cheap fluorescent lights, he didnât hesitate. He pulled you in, firm arms wrapping around you as you clung to the back of his hoodie, shoulders shaking.
You choked on your own soft sniffles, finally surrendering to the dam of emotions youâd bottled all these years. All the while, he quietly kept his hold on you, whispering it again, breath warm against your ear.
New York. New life.
Flash forward four yearsâafter the spider bite, after the powers, after the secrets that clawed at his nightsâand some things never changed.
âAngelâŠâ he murmured, stunned all over again.
Sure, he saved cats, strangers and entire banks on his better days, but it came at the cost of everything else.
His friends all think heâs unreliable, a dud, and weirdly bad at showing upâcollege deadlines slipped, plans fell apart, and every time the hairs on his arms stood up, that electric buzz tingling in his bonesâhe had to go. He just had to.
He knew what happened when he ignored it, and even in the darkest of nights, he still hears the crackle of fire from the apartment next door.
But you stayed.
You always stayed.
He wanted to hug you.
To kiss you.
To press his forehead to yours and promise that heâd protect you from everythingâeven himself.
But he swallowed it down, locked it away where it couldnât slip out too easily.
And he just⊠smiled.
That boyish, earnest smile he never realises has the power to crumble all your walls.
Enough to also keep your whole world from collapsing. Enough to make you brave. Enough to make you trust him even when everything else in your life feels like itâs slipping between your fingers.
For as long as you can remember, itâs always felt like you and him against the world.
You know how he disappears every night, how heâs never on time for anything, how he comes back scraped or breathless or exhaustedâbut you never ask. You donât pry. You donât push.
Because Yuji is the one person youâd bend your whole life around if it meant easing his burdens. You trust himâyou trust him in a way that terrifies you. Youâve known him long enough to understand the softness of his heart, the way he tries to carry everything alone, the way he refuses to let people worry for him.
And you know, deep down, that heâd never hurt anyone.
Heâd never hurt you.
So you keep your silence with that one line heâs unknowingly drawn between you.Â
Even when you feel his gaze lingering on you longer than it should.
Even when goosebumps rise along your arms in the soft, living warmth of the room.
Even when you ache to reach out, to cup his face, to ask him why it feels like something is always slipping away.
Neither of you speaks. Neither of you steps forward.
Your fingers twitch at your sides, his hands clench slightly at his thighs.
Even when this fragile string youâre threading so carefully on is the very thing hurting you both.
Youâre slipping through the afternoon crowd like a loose page torn from a book, shoving past another tourist whose camera strap is swinging wildly. The air smells faintly of burnt bagels, exhaust, and wet asphalt from last nightâs rain. Metal trash cans clatter in the wind, lids rattling against their rims, and somewhere above, the faint screech of the subway reverberates from the tracks overhead.
Footsteps echo around you, tyres hiss against the wet asphalt, yet even in this city that never sleeps, your thoughts drift as you shuffle through the bustle.
I wonder how Yujiâs presentation went?
Hopefully well. Otherwise, youâll have to suffer through the hell of Megumiâs complaints for at least another month.Â
You yawn, squinting as your vision blurs slightly against the harsh reflection of the rising sun on glass skyscrapers. The traffic light clicks, the pedestriansâ signal flipping to red, but suddenly, your eyes catch something else entirely.
Something small, trembling, utterly out of place in the chaos. A golden-furred bundle curled in the middle of the crossing.Â
A puppy.
Your heart stutters.
Everyone sees it, yet no one moves. Cars keep rolling, and the pup curls in on itself, shaking so violently you can feel it even from the curb.
What the hell?
Your mind scatters in ten directions at once, tripping over every worst-case scenario. Logic screams, Donât run into traffic, so you're forced to stand thereâfoot tapping, throat tight, breath trappedâwaiting. As soon as the pedestrian light ticks green, your legs run before you can even think.
You sprint.
Your sneakers slap against the asphalt, the city blurring around you in a rush of horns and exhaust. With a quick drop of a crouch, breath heaving, you slowly stick out a hand for it to sniff, but it shrinks back, paws skittering against the cold pavement.Â
Itâs terrified. Of everything. The honks, the stomps, the chatterâNew Yorkâs roar is swallowing the tiny thing whole.
The pedestrian countdown crackles overhead, each tick like a punch to your ribs, and your heartbeat syncs with itâfrantic, stuttering, racing.
âItâs okay, itâs okayâŠâ you whisper.
But itâs not. Not even close.
You glance up.
Ten seconds left.
Fuck it.
You drop the paper bag. Tangerines scatter across the crosswalk, bumping under shoes, rolling into gutters as you sweep the trembling puppy into your arms. Its ribs flutter against your palms frantically. You whisper whatever calming nonsense you can manageâ
HOOOONK.
The blare is so loud it splits your thoughts in half.
Before you even fully straighten, the world explodes into white behind your eyes. You snap your head toward the sound.
A truck is barreling toward you.
Too close.
Too fast.
Your entire body locks. Thereâs no time to run, no time to scream. The world narrows to the shadow swallowing youâ
An arm suddenly clamps around your waist.
The ground vanishes, wind knifes past your ears. In a blink of an eye, youâre off the asphalt and slammed into the blur of motion.Â
The city snaps back into focus just as your feet touch down on solid pavement, and right behind you,
âWhoa thereâcareful!â
You freeze, heart slamming into your ribs.
You know that voice. Youâd know it in a thunderstorm, a blackout, a dream.
âYuââ
But when you whirl around, ready to scream at him, you freeze. The person holding you isnât Yuji.
Itâs Spider-Man.
The spandex, the mask, and the red and blue in all its stupid gloryâstanding right in front of you, fingers still trembling slightly where they had been gripping your waist. He slowly lets go of it, watching as you spin to face him, face shaken.Â
As more and more people start to crowd the two of you, theyâre lifting phones, shouting.
Itâs his voice. You know it.
But thereâs also absolutely no way that Yuji Itadoriâyour perpetually late, starving, ghost of a roommateâis the same Spider-Man plastered all over the Daily Bugle every day, busy saving lives.
You swallow hard.
ââŠThank you.â
He glances down, raising his knuckle for the shaking pupâand after a few sniffs, he boops its nose, its tail giving a tiny, shy wag.Â
âWhat a cutie,â he says softly. âIs this yours?â
He knows the answer. He shouldnât even be talking this much. But when you look up at himâstunned, scared, and shockedâhe stays.
You pause for a moment, brain short-circuiting before shaking your head.Â
He gestures gently.
âI can take him to a local shelter, if you want.â
What?
Your arms instinctively tighten around the pup, but after a few beats, the tension in your shoulders eases. With a hesitant nod, you slowly pass it overâand to your surprise, he holds the little thing way too gently, cradling it close to his chest.
Then, he asks,
âDo you want to come with us?â
Your head instantly perks up to him.Â
He wants you to come⊠with him.
Your heart thuds against your ribs, the cluster of crowds sending your brain into cartwheels now. Your fists are still against his chest, clenched, and after a few beats, you nod once.
â...Please?â you add, voice barely above a whisper.
Something in him melts.
âAlright,â he murmurs, hooking an arm around your waist with the pup. âNo tall skyscrapers this time, though. Gotta make sure I donât scare the pup.â
Before you can even process what heâs saying, a white web shoots out from his wristâ
And youâre fucking airborne.
âAAAAAâ!!â
Youâre screaming as the wind whips across your face, the ground blurring beneath your feet.
One awning leads to another, gilding just above the trafficâand somehow, that makes it even more terrifying; you can see the cars, the flashing lights, the stunned pedestrians filming you as you pass.
You cling to him like your life depends on it, your yell trembling amidst the racing wind as your arms stay wrapped tight around his neck. Meanwhile, this idiot is laughing. Laughing. And even the puppy is having fun, tail wagging like a metronome of betrayal.
You swear you can even see his tail wagging as well, burrowing your face even deeper into his neck as you shut your eyes.
âWHAT THE HELL?!â you shout, voice cracking.
The idiot of a vigilante only laughs harder, grip still strong on your waist.
He doesnât know how his heart nearly stopped when he saw you kneeling in front of the barreling truck. He doesnât know how close he came to losing his mind. And he doesnât know how many Gods heâd prayed for the shortest split second.
âPut me down, put me down, put me down!â Youâre sobbing into his neck, eyes glued shut as the wind smacks the hair into your face.Â
Finally, the world slows to a stop. He lands softly on the asphalt, and everything stillsâall but your trembling breaths. Shallow, shaky, and way too embarrassingly loud in your own ears.
He leans in, voice low enough that only you can hear it through the muffled city noise.
âWeâre here,â he whispers.
You refuse to move. Absolutely not.
Your face stays buried in the crook of his neck, arms locked tight, fingers curled stubbornly. He chuckles softly.
Cute.
The pup wiggles out from between you two, popping its head out. It yaps once, twice, and you slowly crack open one eye, hands weakly releasing their grip on his suit. A shaky breath leaves your lips as you finally peel yourself off him, stumbling backâonly for him to catch you again by the elbow.
âAnd we havenât even reached forty feet yet,â he teases, head tilted.
You glare weakly, voice hoarse.
âI am never doing that again.â
He doesnât even need to say anything; you can feel the smug grin through the mask.Â
With a soft spin on his heel, he steps past you toward a storefront wedged between two towering brick buildings. The sign above it is faded, chipped around the edges, and the doorâs chime jingles as he slips inside with the puppy nestled in one arm.
You stand there in the midst of the pavement, though, heart still thundering, sneakers planted on solid ground, and even if youâve touched the ground for at least a few minutes now, it feels like youâre still up there mid-swing.
The city moves like normal around you. Horns, footsteps, conversationsâit all feels muted, stuffed cotton in your ears. Youâre floating.
Absolutely floating.
A few moments later, and the chime rings again. He steps out⊠with the same puppy still in his arms. You blink as he gives a tiny shrug.
âSooo⊠turns out theyâre totally out of vacant spots right now.â
He glances at the pup, the critter innocently tilting its head.Â
âI can swing to another one, maybeââ
âIâll take him.â
The words leave your mouth before you even think them through, cutting through the fragile string of silence.
He looks at you, stunned. Youâre taking it in?
Before he can say anything, you crouch immediately, scratching the puppy under the chin as it whines into your palm, tail flailing like a fuzzy little helicopter.
Sure, why not?
Maybe Yuji will finally start showing up more. Maybe heâll actually help take care of it. Maybeâ
âUhâyou sure?â
All the while, Yuji, as mentioned above, is panicking to death in his head. Heâs not even there for half the night, how the hell is he gonna take care of it? But thereâs you, of course, so it canât be that bad, right?
âMhm,â you nod, scooping the warm ball of golden fluff against your chest. âLook, it loves me already!â
You giggle as it barks happily, tiny paws scrambling at your collar as it leans up to lick your jaw. Warm little breaths puff against your skin, sunlight breaking through the thinning clouds overhead, catching on its fur and turning it into a tiny halo of honey-goldâsoft enough to melt winter, blithe enough to quiet the city.Â
He goes still.Â
Of course, it loves you.
The breeze rolls by, threading through the loose strands of your hair, and he watches the sunlight kiss them the same way it kisses the dogâs fur, as if the two of you were made of the same warmth.
He doesnât say anything. Doesnât need to. The tilt of his head, the stillness of his hands, the way he forgets about the crowd, the noise, the cityâall of it betrays him.
Youâre shining underneath the bleeding sun, laughing even with the trembling puppy in your arms, and for one still second, the weight of what almost happened hits him harder than any fall heâs taken tonight.
Harder than any punch, any rooftop landing, any sprint through the freezing wind.
And he knows it. He knows exactly what that ache is.
âWhere do you live?â he asks, voice lower than before, too casual even to be casual.
Your gaze snaps to him. And the second you see the curve of his masked grinâsmug, obvious, and entirely too proud of himselfâyour stomach sinks.
âSoâŠâ he drawls, head tilting. âRound two?â
You groan, clutching the dog a little tighter like it might suddenly save you.
âGod, save me.â
âRoger that, Maâam.â
You smack his arm. He laughs.Â
And the sun, traitorous as ever, lights you up like something worth falling for.
The metal railing trembles as he steps onto your balcony, but unlike it, you donât steadyânot even after your sneakers touch the concrete. Your knees are still jelly, your stomach is still somewhere midair, and youâre pretty sure youâll never get used to this.
Frankly, youâre praying you wonât ever have to.
Behind you, the sun melts into winterâs edge, streaking the clouds with bleeding crimson.
âWelcome home!â
âThank you,â you breathe.
The golden pup squirms in your arms, and the moment you crack open the balcony door, it launches inside. You canât help but laugh as it bounds across the living room, sniffing corners, trotting in frantic circles, all while its tail wags with a delirious joy only pure innocence can have.Â
Youâre tiredâhe can see it. The slope of your shoulders, the soft drag of your steps, the yawns you pretend are subtle. Even your laughter sounds like itâs holding up the walls of a crumbling day.
He leans against the railing behind you, watching with a chuckle, and he knows he shouldnât linger, shouldnât risk even this much, but itâs you. And tonight, for reasons he canât name out loud, he wants to show you something special.
âHey,â he calls softly, âever wondered what itâs like sixty feet up?â
You turn. He stands there with his arms crossed, head tilted, grin smug enough to see even beneath the mask.
âYouâre kidding.â
He shrugs.
âYou look like you need a pickâmeâup. And I think I know just the thing.â
Before you can argue, his hands are slipped around your waist already, like heâs done this a million times before.
And somehow, like your body recognises him from somewhere you canât name, you donât pull away. You only lift a brow, smirking.
âLiterally?â
He huffs a boyish laugh and reaches past you to slide the balcony door shut. His gaze flickers to the puppy already curled on a cushion, drifting into a soft nap after its chaotic afternoon.
âThe vet said heâs trained and vaccinated. SoâŠâ His voice dips, playful. âIt wouldnât hurt if I steal you for a few minutes, right?â.
You pretend to think about it.
âMaybe.â
Maybe.
Damn, if he didnât have his stupid mask on, youâd see the way his whole face breaks into the most hopeless grin ever. God really does send his hardest missions to his strongest soldiers.
âHang on tight.â
He doesnât need to tell you twice. Your arms loop around his neck, and just as quickly as you can breathe, youâre suddenly up in the airâyou still canât help but scream at the sudden jump in height.
A strangled cry rips out of your throat as the city drops away beneath your feet. Heâs still laughing at the ridiculousness of your reaction, and for once in both your lives, youâre screaming with the sort of freedom that only comes with the wish of a shooting star.
You definitely feel like one, too.Â
Skyscrapers streak past, wind clawing at your clothes. Your face is buried in his shoulderâbecause looking down might as well kill youâbut even through your terror, a traitorous warmth swells in your chest.
He hears every sound you make, every breathless scream, and heâs stupidly amused. Even when your eyes are screwed shut from how fucking terrifying this is.
Finally, he lands on what sounds like concrete with a soft thud, steadying you before your knees can give out. Your fingers are still clutched to his suit, but he pries them off gently, turning you around.Â
You crack open one eye.
Then both.
And instantly, your breath catches.
The horizon is on fire.
The wild, bright yellow flame burns in the centre of the molten gold, every skyscraper splinting it in fractured sheets of amber and rose. And as it dips right across the water, your heart skips a beat, the sky bleeding with streaks of orange and bruised violet. Light scatters from the heavens, a shower that shimmers just across the horizonâs seaâa ramp of falling stars just for the two of you.Â
ââŠItâs beautiful,â you whisper.
The same words you told him the first time he brought you to the rooftop. He remembers. God, he remembers everything. He turns his head.
The horizon is burning in the distance, but he doesnât glance up. His gaze lingers on you, tracing the way the light brushes your hair, the tilt of your jaw, the slow inhale of your aweâand in that moment, the city, the sunset, the wind, nothing else exists.
You outshine every single drop of light in the bleeding sky, and he hates that he canât even tell you.
Something in your chest loosens, then gives. For one strange, impossible moment, the pressure of everythingâyour deadlines, your rent, your exhaustion, the heaviness of simply existingâfeels lighter.
You turn to him, smiling.
âThank you.â
The sun flares behind you, painting you in gold, and he thinks helplessly that even this sunset pales beside you.
His heart punches against his ribs, hammering hard enough to bruise.
He keeps his hands in fists so you wonât see them shake, nails digging into his palms, trying to anchor himself.
Because if he doesnât, heâll do something reckless.
âŠLike pull his mask up and kiss you under a dying sun.
He jabs a gloved knuckle against the glass of Nobaraâs bedroom windowâonce, twice, thriceâfast. Even muffled behind the mask, Nobara can recognise it anywhere. Especially when itâs coming from her window on the tenth fucking floor.
âKnock, knock! House of fabulous engineers and fashion icons! Hellooo?â
A muffled groan leaks from the glass.
The window slides open with a wet creak, and Nobara leans outâhair damp from a shower, hoodie half-zipped, face frowned. Sheâs literally one inconvenience away from shutting it on his fingers.
âWhat,â she deadpans, âthe hell do you want?â
Yuji straightens proudly, chest puffing out.Â
âGuess who just saved someone from a truck, carried them to a view thatâd make Van Gogh rise from the grave, and completely turned their day around! And they donât even know it was me!â
His words are tumbling over like runaway marbles, tripping out of his mouth in the sudden rush of excitement. Each breath fogs the inside of his mask, tiny clouds drifting up as he gestures wildly, eyes sparkling even behind the webbed veil.
From behind her, Megumiâs voice drifts, monotonous as ever.
âYou look like a five-year-old who drank too much espresso.â
Yuji spins halfway, giving him a thumbs-up.
âAnd you built the tech that made that possible! So technically, I am a caffeinated genius who saves people, soooooâyouâre the genius behind the genius!â
âObviously itâs about her,â Nobara says, arms crossed, one brow arched. âWhy else knock on my window like some homicidal pigeon?â
Yuji grins boyishly beneath the mask, tilting his head.
âBecause someone had to tell the people who made me this awesome that I did something awesome!â
He hops back onto the slick rooftop, landing with barely a splash. Rain glazes over the red and blue of his suit, gloves leaving faint smudges of rain, but he doesnât care. He crouchesâknees loose, fingers tapping, eyes flicking between Nobara and Megumiâand he rambles.
âYouâd be so proud. I got her out of dangerâlike, barely-saw-my-life-flash-before-my-eyes dangerâand she held onto me and we just⊠we ended up on this roof where the whole skyline looked like it was melting gold. And she laughed! And Iââ
His hand stills over his heart.
Nobara squints at him, expression softening for half a second before she ruins it deliberately.
âYouâre ridiculous. Just confess already.â
Yuji crouches lower, fists on his knees, eyes practically sparkling. The rain slides off his mask in thin streams, glossing over like small scattered stars. All the while, the skyline stretches behind him, windows blinking like constellations.
Heâs glowing too, like he canât hold all his giddiness inside.
Behind her, Megumi doesnât move, but thereâs a faint, reluctant curve tugging at the corner of his mouth. Theyâve both seen this a million times.
Yuji, hopelessly in love. Yuji, trying not to be obvious. Yuji, failing.
But then, he thinks of you, back in your apartment, probably waiting for him with that puppy curled on your lapâprobably wondering why heâs coming back late again.
His heart kicks.
Without warning, he shoots a web to the edge of the rooftop.
âOkayâgotta goâBYE!â
Before Nobara can yell, he launches himself into the storm-soaked night, flipping once, twice, and vanishing into the wind.
âYOUâLL HEAR ABOUT THIS TOMORROW, I SWEAR!â he hollers back, voice bouncing between the buildings.
Nobara sighs dramatically and shuts the window, all the while Megumiâs smirk survives exactly three seconds before he wipes it off.
As he disappears into the glittering darkness, the city continues to shine. But itâs obvious who heâs rushing home for, and somewhere below, the night hums with the secret only three people know:
Spider-Man Yuji Itadori is swinging through New York like a boy in love.
When Yuji comes back, heâs yelping in surprise when the little rascal of a pup rushes over to him. Its paws are already scattered across the wooden floor for a launched attack.
âWhat theâ?!âÂ
He picks up the pup in his arms, snuggling into it as you appear from the corner of the hallway, snickering at the scene.
âKiniro likes you already.â
It takes everything in him to bite back his laughter and act surprised. After all, he canât quite literally tell you he was the one saving you both just earlier today, right?
âI didnât know you brought back this little pup,â he giggles, letting it lick his face. âYou even named him?â
You sigh, plopping yourself onto the carpet.
âHe was in the middle of a pedestrian street. Thankfully, Spider-Man saved him.â
You pat your lap, Kiniro eagerly running straight back to you,
âThe animal shelter was full, though, but I think weâre stable enough to afford just another pet, donât you think?âÂ
Yujiâs already walking over to you, slinging his bag across the couch as he ruffles your hair.
âI can just pick up another job if you really want to.â
He doesnât miss that you donât include yourself in being saved, but he doesnât nag. All that matters is youâre safe and sound, and with the arrival of little Kiniro, your grin seems just a tiny bit wider.Â
âUgh, youâre not even home half the time,â you groan, tugging him down to sit next to you, âDonât.â
He smirks at your comment, simply shrugging.
âYou would not believe my day, though,â he starts, running a hand through his hair.
âCoach made us do sprints at 8 a.m. Eight. A. M. The sun was barely awake. I was barely awake,â he plops himself down beside you.
âThen I had to do that boring presentation for Anthropology.â
You snort.
âWhat about it? Did you actually, I donât knowânot screw it up?â
âOhhh, the presentation? Killed it. Destroyed it. Megumi totally knew you helped, too.â
You shake your head, smiling as he continues. With a soft sigh, you raise both hands behind you as you stretch out your sore arms.
âThank God. We still need to go grocery shopping, though⊠We donât have food for either him or us.â
âDo you want me to go?âÂ
Youâre already getting up, though.Â
âNah, letâs go together, like usual.â
He smiles. Yeah. Like usual.
So flash forward now, one hour laterâ
Heâs tossing all sorts of odd combinations into your trolley, and when heâs the one pushing it, that means youâre going to be barely stopping him from picking yet another pack of chips in the aisle beside.
Because, seriously, what kind of trolley has fruits, meat, chips and dog food all at once? Any other college student, he says. Well, you donât complain further, because youâre already busy thinking about what to cook for dinner.
Metal shelves press together like metro train commuters, all the while humming coolers whisper across aislesâstacked with the classic 99Âą ramen, chips, and plastic-wrapped bagels. The overhead fluorescent lights buzz faintly amidst the static hiss of the radioâs pop song, always a little too bright, and it cuts through the shuffle of tired locals grabbing dinner after work.
Both of you pass each aisle, and when he reaches up just one more time, he says, for the latest bag of chips, you slap his hands away. He gives you a pout, but you shoot it back down, eyes still peeled ahead, while the trolley miserably follows behind now.
âSo whatâs on the menu, Chef?â Yuji asks, arms on the handle.Â
âJapanese curry,â you hum back, already tossing the small sticks of chives into the trolley behind.
His eyes glisten at the thought of it, his mouth watering already.Â
âYou always make the best dinners.â
With a mere huff and the slightest curl of your lips, you refuse to turn back to face him. You can already feel the piercing stare of awe on your back, but it does little to keep the budding brim of pride at bay.
Because honestly speaking, thatâs all you need.
When the tiny 2010s New York apartment smells like onions sizzling in butterâwarm, sweet, it seeps both into the walls and your mind that youâre actually home.
The window above the stove rattles a little every time a subway roars somewhere underground, but inside, itâs just the two of you, moving around the cramped kitchen like you both have a hundred times.
âYouâre cutting them too big,â you tease, nudging his elbow as he chops another carrot chunk.
âTheyâll shrink in the pot!â he fires back, puffing his cheeks. âPlus, big pieces are funner to chew.â
âThatâs not how carrots work.â
âSure it is.â
You break into laughter, and he falters into the same grin behind his ever-so-bravado.Â
Before you can turn back to the stove, his hands slip around your waist from behind, pulling you just close enough that your back warms against his chest. Itâs second nature to him by nowâbut somehow, this time, his touch reminds you of someone else just earlier this afternoon.
âHeyâhey,â you giggle, trying to stir the pot while he sways you side to side, âIâm gonna spill the roux.â
âThatâs the plan,â he murmurs, chin gently resting on your shoulder as he watches the stew bubble.Â
âTeamwork, right? Iâm moral support.â
âMoral support doesnât usually involve hugging me every five seconds.â
He gives a soft, guilty hum.
âHmm. Guess Iâm extra supportive.â
Outside the window, the streetlights of early-night Manhattan cast a warm orange glow across the counter, mixing with the flicker of your old fluorescent kitchen light, and somewhere below, a taxi honks, someone yells. Your radioâs playing the classic pop songs on repeat rotation this week, and inside, tucked within the mellow warmth, thereâs just the soft simmer of curry and the occasional clatter of utensils.
Yuji leans forward to peek into the pot, arms tightening around you as if he canât help it.
âThat smells so good,â he says, voice a little softer now.
You feel your cheeks warm more than the stove ever could, but you still shove him with your hip anyway.
âThen set the table, you sap.â
He laughs boyishly before finally letting go. Grabbing bowls, heâs humming off-key to the radio, and when you glance back at him, his sleeves are already rolled up. He plates the curry bubbling behind you, and the two of you settle snuggishly into the couch, blanket tossed over both of your legs.
As usual, Yuji sits close, stretching his arm along the backrest so that he can tug you closer whenever he feels like it. Heâs already rambling off into the darkness, and long before you know it, youâre both talking over the show more than actually watching it.
âBut, uh⊠lunch was good,â he adds quietly.
âAte outside. Weather felt nice. I kinda wished you were there, though.â
He doesnât look at you when he says it; Yuji seldom does things like this. He just rubs the back of his neck, cheeks burning pink.
âYâknow⊠campus stuff is better when youâre around,â he murmurs.
âFeels less like Iâm just running around all day and more likeâŠâ
He pauses, searching for the word.
ââŠIâm just living day-to-day.â
You snort.
âYouâre such a dork.â
âA dork who had a rough day,â he huffs, nudging your knee with his.Â
You card your fingers through his soft pink hair despite yourself, and he melts instantly, like heâs been waiting all day for this. At some point, the warmth of the curry settles into your stomach, the weight of his arm drapes heavier against your shoulders, and your eyelids grow heavier with each second.
His heartbeat is steady, right under your ear, and beneath the warmth, you donât even notice when your bowls slide onto the coffee table. You just fall asleep tucked into his side, wrapped in his hoodie and the low hum of the city outside the window.
He simply watches, and somewhere, underneath the warmth of the quiet, his hand stops just a beat from tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
You donât know how long youâve slept, but when the sudden, distant siren of an ambulance cuts through the silence, you wake. The apartmentâs dark except for the TVâs dim blue, and your headâs still snuggled against the couch cushion, but Yuji isnât there.
His spot is still warm, yet the empty bowls are already in the sink.
âYuji?â you whisper, sitting up as the floor creaks softly beneath your bare feet.
Silence echoes, and only the faint late-night wail follows through the room, the ticking of your clock.
It's dead midnight.
Outside your window, a breeze seeps softly from the fire escape. The curtains shift, and you turn to read the single sticky note pasted on the coffee table, scribbled in his ever-so messy handwriting:
âSorry. Something came up. Didnât wanna wake you.
Be back soon :)â
You run your thumb over the smiley face, feeling the echo of warmth where heâd been.
You donât know why he disappears every night.
But for now, all you know is the apartment still smells like curry and himâand the couch feels just a little too big without his arms around your waist.
Dawn breaks as gold washes over the pavement, daylight spilling into the still-waking streets. Youâre shuffling along beside Yuji, shoulders brushing now and then. In both your hands are cups of cocoa from the corner cart, each crowned with a swirl of whipped cream he swears is just âthe best in the city.â
Steam lifts from the paper cup, curling into the damp morning air, all the while streets still glisten from last nightâs rain, passing headlights shimmering in fractured streaks. Inhaling, the air smells of salt and roasted peanuts, tinged with the sweet bite of chestnuts toasting somewhere behind you.
âYouâre going to burn your tongue if you sip that too fast,â you tease, nudging him lightly with your elbow.
He sticks his tongue out at you, laughing even harder when you snort back at him. You simply shake your head as he bumps your shoulder, grinning.
The crowd hums around you, a river of people rushing with purpose, but you walk slower than usual, matching his pace. His hair catches the sunlight in golden highlights, and as he turns to glance over at you, the corners of his mouth tilt when he notices you staring.
âAnd youâre gonna spill your drink if you keep staring,â he laughs, holding out his hand.Â
You giggle, letting him grab your wrist gently, tugging you just slightly forward as you step over a puddle. His warmth lingers a second too long, and as the sun rises a little higher, he watches you sip from your cupâeyes soft and warm.
Kiniroâs barking as well, his leash wrapped just around Yujiâs knuckles.Â
Yuji gives it a little tug, but for a split second, his shoulders tense. Heâs distracted for a moment, silent.Â
Thereâs a siren somewhere uptown. A horn blast. Something sharp flickers across his expression before he smooths it away.
You pretend not to notice. Instead, you just nudge your shoulder into his again.
âYou okay?â
He grins.
âYeah. Yeah, Iâm good.â
But his fingers tighten just slightly around your wrist.
You tilt your cocoa toward him.
âTrade?â
He huffs a relieved laugh.
âFine, but only because I know mine has more whipped cream.â
You swap cups, and his shoulders loosen, the tension in his jaw melting away.
The warmth of the moment softens the city around youâright up until your phone buzzes. You glance down, frowning.
âDid you eat yet?â
âAre you really out with him again?â
Your chest tightens. No matter how far youâve moved, her messages still slice like winter wind. You shove the phone deeper into your pocket, just as Yuji starts rambling about some comic he swears he didnât dream up.Â
âEverything okay?âÂ
Itâs his turn this time, unaware of the text buzzing under your coat. You nod in response, though, forcing a smile.
âYeah⊠just distracted.â
He doesnât probe, and you just follow him down a narrow side street, fire escapes shadowing over cracked sidewalks. The city hums with distant trains, honking taxis, and the usual rumble of early traffic. He twirls you once in the crosswalk, and for a brief moment, your worries fade. Laughter bubbles up easily, sunlight spilling through breaks in the buildings.
Everything is gold.
You donât even pass five blocks before you hear the sudden strum of a guitar, faint from a musician tucked just beside a subway entrance, tin cup right at his feet.Â
Yujiâs eyes sparkle instantly like a kid spotting magic.
âDance battle?â he asks, grin stretching mischievously.
You nearly choke on your cocoa.
âExcuse me?â
âYou heard me.â Heâs already bending his knees, taking a fighting stance. âYou. Me. Right here. Winner gets bragging rights for life.â
You groan, trying to pull him away, but the way he bounces on the balls of his feet, the laughter in his voice, makes it impossible to resist.
And before you know it, both your cups are set on the window ledge just beside, and heâs twirling you gently in the middle of the sidewalk, weaving through the small cluster of pedestrians staring in a mix of confusion and amusement.
âYuji! Stop, Iâllââ you squeal, laughing so hard your stomach hurts.
He only snorts harder, spinning you until your hair whips across your face and you bury your head against his shoulder.
âYouâve got moves,â he teases, voice softening. âBetter than I thought.â
When the music shifts to a slower melody, he doesnât let go. His grip on your waist pulls you closer, his forehead resting lightly against yours, eyes half-closed. The rest of the city fades, and in the midst of it, thereâs only the pulse of your laughter, the warmth, and the soft brush of his breath against your cheek.
For a second, it feels like the world stopped just to let him hold you.
Everything melts away, and time stills.
Thenâhe freezes. The sparkle in his eyes dims.
âIâI gottaââ he starts, pulling back slightly, fingers brushing yours.
You frown, confused. This isnât the first time heâs bailing midway, and suddenly, the warmthâs twisting with the usual tension.
âWhat?â Your voice cracks. âWhere are you going?â
He bites his lip, hesitating.
âSomething came up⊠Iâll be back as soon as I can. Promise.â
Before you can argue, heâs already turning, weaving through the crowd and quickly disappearing like heâs done so a hundred times. You watch, heart sinking, as the tide of bodies swallows him.
Your phone buzzes thenâagainâin your pocket.
Your stomach knots, all the while the sweetness of the morning is turning brittle at the edges.Â
You frown at the screen, fingers trembling slightlyâanother message.Â
You take a breath, lukewarm cocoa in your hand, and look back down the street where Yuji vanished.
For a heartbeat, the world was quiet.
Almost enough to drown out the buzzing phone. The crawling ache.
Almost.
The campus is loud as usual, and your bag is slung lazily over your shoulder. Itâs field day, and Nobaraâs perched by your side like a hawk.
Field day always turns the campus into a festive frenzyâmusic blasting, banners everywhere, and the smell of grass and sunscreen wafting with the crispy fry of food from student stalls. The sunâs golden light is just enough to dust everything with a warm edge, shedding the tiniest bit of warmth amidst the early winter, but your chest still feels tight, and every cheer from the bleachers is just another headache pulsing beneath the last.
Your fingers curl around your bag strap.Â
âYou better scream your lungs out for him,â she says, flipping her hair as the two of you shuffle through clusters of crazed students.
âHe made me promise Iâd drag you here even if you tried to run.â
You roll your eyes with a huff of disbelief, but still, your chest warms at the mention of him. In the midst of it, Nobara pauses.
âHey, you okay, though?â she asks, nudging your side. âYouâre quieter than usual.â
âIâm fine,â you say, forcing the words past the tightness in your throat.Â
The football field is already swarmed by the time you reach it. Voices rise and fall like crashing waves, bleachers trembling under stampeding students trying to get good seats. You spot Megumi standing near the edge in all his emo glory, stretching like heâs prepping for a battlefield instead of just another friendly match.
He sighs when he spots you and Nobara, but you donât miss how the corner of his mouth twitches just a bit upward.
âTold you sheâd come,â Nobara smirks.
He mutters something along the lines of âYeah, yeah, whatever,â but his eyes flick briefly toward the locker tunnelâwhere Yuji should beâŠ
And right on cue, the man himself bursts out.
Yuji comes sprinting with his helmet in hand, hair ruffled, grin stretched wide enough to split galaxies. His jersey clings to his shoulders, the number glowing against the sunlight. Heâs sprinting across the grass like his body was built for thisâshining, bright, unstoppable. His hair catches the morning light like rose-gold flames, the soft pink of it glowing warm against his skin.
But heâs late again, and not just a littleâten minutes behind schedule. Yet no one seems to mind except you.
Your chest twists. The familiar pang rises again.Â
The moment he notices you, he practically trips over his own feet from how fast his attention snaps your way.
âThere you are!â he calls, waving the helmet wildly above his head.
Nobara snorts. âLord, heâs so lovesick it physically hurts.â
You pretend not to hear her.
Yuji jogs up to the fence separating players from spectators, leaning against it with both forearms as if he canât stop himself from getting closer. His breath comes out quickly from the run, but his grin is wide and bright.
âYou made it,â he says too eagerly.
âWe always make it,â you scoff, nudging your bag up your shoulder. âDonât disappoint us.â
âYesâyes, Maâam,â he salutes, cheeks pink. âIâm gonna win extra hard now.â
Behind him, the team captain shouts his name. Megumiâs barking at him,
âIf you miss the huddle again, Iâm making you run laps.â
Yuji jumps, jolting upright.
âComing!â
But before he turns, he reaches outâfingers brushing yours through the fence. Just a fleeting drag of warmth, but enough to leave your pulse scrambling.
âIâll look for you after every play,â he says sheepishly. âSo⊠donât leave, okay?â
Nobara rolls her eyes so dramatically she might strain something. âHeâs going to combust.â
Youâre definitely not telling her you just might too.
Yuji runs back to his team, helmet tucked under his arm, shouting something stupidly upbeat that gets the whole bench laughing. The field hums with energy, sunlight bouncing off jerseys, the grass almost glittering.
The game commences.
And Yujiâitâs like he was born for this.
Heâs fast. Focused. And ridiculously competent.
Every time he steals the ball, the crowd roars. Every time he dodges someone twice his size, Nobara shrieks. And when he scoresâan impossible curve just inside the goalpostâhe swings both arms up, searching the stands until he locks eyes with you.
He beams like you just handed him the universe.
And the whole world feels goldenâsunlight, victory, thrill. Megumi is yelling instructions, Nobaraâs screaming insults at the opponents, and Yujiâs just there in all of his radiant gloryâshining without even trying.
Itâs warm. Itâs bright. Itâs alive.
Youâre cheering too, but your smile still falters, tight around the edges. Your fingers tighten around the edge of your bag strap.
But for nowâ
Yuji wins.
And he looks at you like youâre the reason he did.
He barely hears the final whistle over the roar of the crowd. One second, heâs sprinting across the field, cleats kicking up dust, teammates shouting his nameâ
And the next, heâs tearing off his helmet and running straight for you.
You barely get a sound out before he crashes into youâarms around your waist, lifting you clean off the ground in a dizzying spin. His laugh bursts warm against your neck, almost boyish in how free it is.
âYou saw that, right? You saw that, right?â he breathes, grin blinding, forehead pressed to yours as if he needs proofâneeds youâto make it real.
Nobaraâs whooping behind you. Megumiâs pretending not to stare, and heâs shoving his hands in his pockets like he didnât just sabotage two passes solely so Yuji could score. The field is a riot of noiseâwhistles, cheers, the brass band warming up againâbut all of it blurs around him.
Yujiâs still holding you there, thumbs brushing your ribs. The pink of his hair, the warm brown of his eyes, the soft grin that always pulls at the corner of his mouth. His hair brushes your forehead when he leans in.
A voice cuts through the crowd.
âCongratulations, you all! What a play!â
Itâs a senior guy from another teamâsomeone charming, loud, the type Yuji knows people tend to gravitate to. He jogs past, tossing you a quick smile like itâs nothing.
âYou were cheering SO loud,â he tells you, laughing. âHonestly, I think you were louder than the team.â
Yujiâs smile twitches.
The guy just continues, leaning in a bit too close,
âYou coming to the afterparty? Nobara said you mightââ
Yuji steps in without thinking, placing a hand on your back.
âOh,â the guy says, blinking. âHey, Itadori. Great game, man.â
âThanks,â Yuji answersâbut something in his eyes dims.
Nobara simply smirks with a cross of her arms.
His eyes flick back to you. Quick. Searching.
Did you smile back? Did you think the guy was cool? Did youâ
Suddenly, the team crowds around himâslapping his back, grabbing his shoulders, shouting over each other, and youâre both separated from the wave of intrusion.
âYouâre coming with us tonight, right?â
âYo, weâre buying you dinner!â
âWeâre gonna replay that touchdown like a hundred timesââ
Yujiâs flustered, overwhelmed. His chest is heaving, and sweat trickles down his forehead. He doesnât like the sudden attention, and he keeps looking back at you over their headsâchecking, making sure you havenât drifted away in the crowd, but he loses you just as quickly as they came.
Megumi sighs, nudging him.
âGo,â he mutters. âWeâll catch up.â
And thatâs all he needs.
He practically breaks out of the huddle just to run over to youâsoft murmurs of apologies as he bumps into someone elseâs shoulder.Â
Everything else is noise to him, and it isnât long until he catches the familiar sight of the back of your head again.
He settles beside you, still breathless. His fingers hover, then hook lightly around your wrist, tugging you closer.
âYouâre walking with me, right?â His voice drops.
âPlease?â
Nobara wiggles her eyebrows.
âYou two are disgusting,â she groans, then pats your shoulder.
âIâm getting drinks. Donât do anything gross while Iâm gone.â
She disappears. Megumi drifts off too, yelling something at a teammate.
And suddenly, itâs just you and him again.
The air is warm from the sun, the grass glittering with confetti. His hand is still curled around yours.
âIâm really glad you came, yâknow.â
You smile softly.
âOf course I did.â
âAnd⊠that guy earlier,â he adds too casually, âDo you⊠know him?â
There it isâthe tiny crack in his voice.
And something sinks in your stomach. Youâre exhaustedâraw beneath the skin. And youâre way too tired to explain the history heâs scarred you. Not today. Not after this win. Not when heâs glowing like a sun you donât want to dim.
So you answer gently,
âNot really. Donât worry about it.â
Yujiâs silent.
But you can feel the tension humming beneath his ribs as he tries to read your face. After a few steps, he murmurs, barely audible,
âHey, so⊠did you really cheer that loud?â
You grin.
âYeah. For you.â
âThen why do you look so tired?â he asks.
Your steps falter. âIâm fine.â
His brows pinch. He looks at you closely.
âYou donât have to say âfineâ just because you think itâs easier,â he says. âI can handle it. Whatever it is.â
But your mind is still tangled from the morning, from the noise, from everything you havenât wanted to burden anyone with. You look away.
It shouldâve been easyâYujiâs arms around you, the campus buzzing with leftover cheers, Megumi shouting something smug in the distance, Nobara somewhere in the corner of your eye. Everything is loud, and warm, and safe.
But Yuji doesnât see the phone screen still lighting up in your pocket.
He doesnât notice how your fingers have been curling in on themselves, and suddenly, the sunlight feels too bright. Your pulse crawls up the back of your throat, and softly, without meaning to, youâre muttering under your breath.
âYouâre not even here half the time. How are you gonna handle it?â
He catches it too, but he doesnât say anything. You donât even know he heard it.
Heâs been either late or disappeared midway through the last three times you hung out. Last weekend, he ditched you mid-dance, and you told him it was fineâof course it was fineâit just stung more than you want to admit, and today, he barely made it to field day on time.
Something about helping someone, getting caught up, you werenât even sure.
You donât want to be another thing that drags him down.
âItâs nothing. You donât have to worry about me today. Youâve got more important people to celebrate with.â
Yuji stops walking altogether. The shift is smallâbarely a misstep on the pavementâbut it feels like the ground trembles.
âWhat?â he asks quietly.
âEveryoneâs congratulating you. You should enjoy it. You donât need to be glued to me.â
His face falls in slow motion.
âIs that⊠what you think? That Iâm only here because I feel like I should be?â
You donât answer fast enough, and your silence hurts him more than any shouted insult couldâve. The tension that holds in the air now is unbearable.
His face contorts into a frown.
âSeriously?â he murmurs. âI just ran straight to you after the biggest game of the semester, and you think I wouldnât choose you?â
His voice wavers, and you quickly shake your head, tilting your head to look at him.
âYuji, thatâs notââ
âNo, itâs okay,â he says, stepping back, eyes darting everywhere except your face.Â
âYujiââ His expression ruins you, and now, you wish more than anything but to take back your words.
He swallows hard.
âI get it."
There it is.
The crack in the glass. The place where he breaks. You reach out for him, but all he does is step away.
âYou know I didnât mean that, I was just tiredââ
âIâm sorry,â he whispers.
The cheering behind you erupts, but the world between you stills. The stadium burst into cheers for the next round of the competition, and his teammates are shouting his name, waving him over for the afterparty.
âYuji! Letâs go!â
He hesitates.
Because he wants to stay, and you can see that. But still, he pulls his hand back.
âIâll be right back, okay?â he says, smiling the way he always doesâthe one that makes your chest warm and ache and twist all at once. âPromise.â
You just⊠nod. Itâs easier than saying youâre not sure you believe it anymore.
And even in the blinding afternoon sun, the warmth he leaves you with still feels cold.
The bleachers, the crowd, the pats on his backâthey all drift into nothing.
Nothing matters.
Not when guilt claws at him with each step he takes further from you. He canât stop himself, though.
He doesnât deserve you, and even when he sees the faltering pain in your eyes, when it seems like heâs ripped your whole heart out, even when he didnât mean toâ
He should walk away from you.
You deserve better.
But when the hair on his skin stands, the jolt of every nerve in his system sparking up, the dread of what heâs always feared crawls back up into him.
He runs straight back to you.
You slowly step away from the crowd, letting the chatter fade into the background. The noise of the campus stadium and cheering grows distant, muffled, yet every step feels heavier than the last. Your bag drags against your shoulder, but truthfully, thatâs not even whatâs weighing you down.
Each breath catches in your chest as you walk through the shortcut through the science wing. Home. You just want to go home now.
The afternoon sun glares against the metal supports of the demo tents. You barely notice them. Instead, your mind is wrapped up in everything, and you hate that you even feel this way. Hate that even until now, every time you think youâve grown to be logical enough, your heart always gets the better of you.
Your steps echo softly within the hollow of your mind, seconds stretching into minutes, minutes into hours. You donât even know how long youâve been walking. How far youâve wandered. All you know is that youâre all aloneâboth literally and in your head.
A loud metallic groan rips through the air.
Suddenly, the metal pole just above the building snaps. Thereâs no thought, and only the sudden, sickening realisation that itâs coming down.
Oh.
You just stand there, memories flashing through your eyes in replay.
Yuji flashes through your eyes.
This is itâ
But suddenlyâall you see is a blur of red and blue.
Your chest slams against a familiar chest, and the world flips upside down for a heartbeat. Air screams past your ears. The pole crashes behind you, scattering debris, a deafening clatter that reverberates in your bones.
You gasp, clutching him, every nerve ending on fire. Pain lances through your arm where the pole grazed you, and your knee scrapes against the pavement as he manoeuvres you away.Â
The wind tears at your hair, and even in the chaos, your mind reels.Â
âYou⊠you okay?â His voice is low, urgent, but behind the mask, it trembles.
Itâs Spider-Man.
But you canât answer. Your body shakes, each blink glowing hotter and hotter as the weight of everything finally crashes.
âIâIââÂ
You canât finish.
Your throat tightens, and you simply break in his arms.Â
His grip tightens, swinging you back toward a safer alleyway, ignoring the chatter, the noise, and everything else.
âItâs okay⊠youâre okay. Iâve got you,â he whispers, and somewhere in the midst of it, his voice cracks.
âHey, look at me. Justâjust look at me,â he lowers himself beside you, knees hitting the cold concrete, his hands closing around yours with a trembling gentleness.Â
You choke on a breath, shaking your head furiously, face buried in your arms.
âI canât⊠I canâtââ
His voice softens, frays at the edges.
âPlease. Breathe. Just breathe.â
The tears spill faster, hot and relentless. Youâre folding in on yourself, small and shaken, and the words slip out in pieces you canât hold back.
âIâYuji⊠I canât⊠I justâŠâ Your voice quivers. âI donât want to be a burden. I donât want toââ
âYouâre not!â he almost shouts, but it cracks, breaking down into a whisper.
âDo you hear me? Your life matters. It matters.â His breath trembles.
His hands cup your face now, fingers digging into the sides of your jaw as he kneels beside you.
âAnd if no one else can keep you safe, then I will. I will. So donât everâever say that again.â
Your sobs shake all the way through you, and he pulls you into him, arms banding around your body, holding you. Even then, the panic still claws at your ribs. He presses his forehead to yours, his voice barely holding itself together.
âIâve got you. Just⊠just trust me. Do you want to go home?â
Youâre sobbing into his chest now. Your ribs are aching, your shoulders throbbing, and youâre stuttering in shallow gasps, yet somehow, with the last tiniest bit of strength left in you, you manage a nod.
His arms wrap around you again, lifting you gently. The wind roars past as he swings, your body cradled against his chest. The city blurs into streaks of silver and orange, but none of it grounds you. Everything still bites.
By the time he lands on your balcony, your legs buckle, and he sets you down with a quick turn away. Like he thinks he should leave. Like he thinks heâs the problem.
Your chest caves in.
âI canât⊠I donâtââ you whisper, and then, with trembling fingers, you grasp his wrists.Â
He freezes, panic flashing behind the mask.
You tug him down to your level, breath shaky, heart ricocheting against your ribs.
You look up at him, heart pounding so loudly you can barely hear the storm around youâand for the first time, Yuji wants nothing more than to rip off his mask. Right here. Right now.
Because trust has always felt like something he wasnât allowed to have⊠yet here you are, the one constant in the chaos of his double life, holding onto him like heâs the only steady thing in your world.
The home he was never sure Yuji Itadori deserves, not when Spider-Manâs saving lives, all the while Yuji is running late for another hangout somewhere else.
The slope of his jaw beneath the mask, the shape of his shoulders beneath the soaked suit, the faint scent of detergent he always uses at home. Youâre exhaustedâtired of the uncertainty, tired of the guessingâeverything about him feels almost too familiar.
It breaks something loose inside you.
âYujiâŠ?âÂ
Your voice is barely more than a breath, but to him, it lands even harder than lightning.
He freezes.
He doesnât breathe, doesnât even move a muscle.
Not even when your fingers slide to the edge of his mask, and in a heartbeat of terror and clarity, you pull it up.Â
Your world stops.
The way his voice cracks in the exact shape of Yujiâs kindness, the way he whispers comfort with words only Yuji has ever spoken to you. The way he knows exactly how to hold you, just like Yuji did when you both danced in that one street.
And now, seeing himâwet-faced, trembling, eyes glassy with fear and reliefâit hits you like a punch straight through the ribs.
âYâYouâŠâ His voice breaks. âIâm sorryâI was going to tell you, I swear, I justââ
You donât let him finish.
You lean in and kiss him. Desperate, shaking. Relief, anger, and love all at once.
Fearâthat you couldâve lost him before you ever got to say any of it.
He goes stiff with shock⊠then melts with a shaky exhale, pulling you so close your feet practically leave the ground.
âYou⊠youâre alive,â he whispers into your hair as he pulls back slightly, forehead resting against yours.
âI thoughtâGod, I thought I lost you.â His voice cracks as he buries himself in the crook of your neck, arms still locked around you.
Your fingers curl into the back of his suit.
â...Donât go.â
He lifts his head, tears dripping down his cheeks. His forehead presses to yours, his breath shuddering.
âStay. Please.â
Youâre whispering, shaking. He looks at you for a secondâand it doesnât take another until his lips crash into yours again.
The floorboards creak. The air is heavy. Kiniroâs sleeping somewhere in the kitchen, but your legs are wrapped tight around Yujiâs waist now. Heâs holding you up, fingers digging into your thighs.
âWaitââ
He cuts you off with another kiss as he stumbles into the living room, lights still off. Your hands gently clutch the back of his suit even tighter. Your kisses are sloppy, frantic, and desperate. He quickly yanks his mask off, throwing it straight at the couch while he lifts you like nothing with one hand.
âSorry,â he mumbles, but heâs already back to nibbling your bottom lip, working his way up to your breathless gasps.
âMm⊠Yuji,â Your fingers lace through the pink threads of his hair, ruffling through them as something pools just beneath your stomach.Â
The door rattles behind you as he pushes it open with your back against it, a creak rattling across, and when he does pull away, a drool lingers just between the two of you, and he looks up at you, lifted, like the most gorgeous angel ever. You pant, hand grasping his clothed bicep, as he presses a thumb under your chin, tipping your head further back.Â
Heâs wanted this for the last five years of his life, and now here you areâlost in it and in his armsâhe just might explode into a million pieces.
âI love you,â he peppers even more kisses, agonizingly dragging a trail from your chin, all the way up to your drooped eyelids, hazy, muzzy even as your breath heaves with each gasp. âSo fucking much.â
Your heartâs also pounding loudly, and even when he plops you down on his bed, you refuse to let go. You watch as he fumbles the unbuttoning of your clothes, and you tilt your head back as he trails even more wet kisses from your face. His knee slides right between your legs.
Goosebumps trail each time his lips meet your skin, and his fingers are still gripped tight onto the flesh of your thighs. His bed, his taste, your head is so intoxicated with him, itâs driving you insane. Even inhaling the fresh lemon detergent of his sheets makes you nuzzle against it, whining as he plants yet another kiss on your neck.
âSlow down,â you sigh, threading your fingers through his hair as he trails down to your stomach, nails scratching his scalp as he nuzzles into your touch, kissing the thin fabric separating you from his desperate mouth.
But as drunk as he is, lost in the whirlwind of your moans driving him insanely, unbearably hot amidst the cold air, he pauses for a second.
Just above your stomach, he slowly turns to look up at you.
â...Are you okay with this?â
He looks up at you like heâs worshipping a goddess, because even in all your dazedness, youâre drop-dead gorgeousâeyes glossy, lips curled, breath panting.
âMhmâŠâ
He instantly snuggles his face into your stomach, making you giggle,
âWhat theâYuji!â
Every kiss feels like worship, his mouth tracing shakingly down the insides of your thighs until he reaches the heat between them. With a gentle press of his hands, he nudges your legs apart and slips your pants down your hips, letting them fall away completely.
He goes utterly still.
God, he thinks, itâs so fucking pretty. And even though heâs never done this before, not really, heâs seen enough, learned enough, to know what to do.
His thumbs glide through your slickness and gently spread you open, baring every trembling part of you to his stare. The cold whisper of air makes you shift and whimper, embarrassment warming your cheeks. You donât see it, thoughâthe way his gaze drops, dark with want, his breath nearly catching at the sight of you.
Slowly, he leans in, breath warm against you before his tongue draws a long, deliberate lick through your folds. He canât help but utter, a low, hungry groan rumbling from his chest.
âFuck⊠taste so sweet,â he mutters against you, hips pressing hard into the mattress as if he canât help himself.
âYujiââ
Your back bows off the sheets in an instant, a startled cry slipping out as your thighs snap around his head. But he only growls softly in response, arms locking around your legs to hold you open for him. He doesnât stopânot for a secondâas he devours you, messy yet greedy, drinking down every drop of your sweet slick.
His throaty groan vibrates straight through you, sending shivers up your spine. Your jaw falls open, eyes fluttering shut as you melt back into the mattress.
"You're so beautifulâ so..." He canât help itâcanât help melting into your taste.
His mouth grows sloppier, jaw loosening so he can slurp louder, tongue moving with sprouting confidence. He circles your clit again and again, then dips lower, pushing his tongue clumsily but tenderly into your heat. His lashes brush his cheeks as he moves, muddled and klutzyâyet careful, and worshipping you with every greedy stroke.
Your fingers glide down your stomach, trembling as you reach for him, burying your hand in his hair. Your nails drag lightly across the nape of his neck as you tug him closer, guiding him deeper between your thighs. He groans into you, then pulls back only long enough to slick his fingers with his tongue before rubbing your clit in slow, deliberate circles. He watches your slick drip down, following the trail with dark, dilated eyes.
Your tongue slips out, thumb brushing your lower lip as you look down at him. The sight alone makes him shudder.
âAre you okay?â he murmurs.
Heat flares over your cheeks, but you nod with a soft, breathy hum, lips parted as he lowers his mouth again. He laps at your folds slowly, savouring you, sweet warmth spilling over his tongue while he keeps his gaze on you.
âMhm⊠YuâŠâ you breathe, a small moan escaping as your lids grow heavy again.
Something warm blooms in his chest at the sight of you weakly squirming, voice all soft and sweet, and he dives back to your clit. His tongue flicks over the sensitive bud until your moans climb higher, your hips jerking. Heâs rutting subtly into the mattress.
âYuâahh, Iâm gonnaâgonna cumââ
Your legs tremble, thighs trying to snap shut on instinct, but he only tightens his arms around them, holding you open as his mouth works you through itâpushing you right to the edge.
And then youâre falling.
Your jaw drops slack, tongue lolling slightly as stars burst behind your eyelids. You gasp out a broken âHaaghââ all the while, soft, desperate moans spill from your lips.
The sound you make has him tensing all over again, breath catching as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your inner thigh. His eyes are half-lidded, lips parted, watching the way your lashes flutter, and how your body trembles with the aftershocks he pulled out of you.
He stares like heâs mesmerised.
And in the heat of it, he just canât stop himself.
His thumb finds your clit again, pressing lightly, and your words dissolve into breathy whines. He's talking you through it.
Watching as your pretty lashes kiss your cheeks as your hips lift, chasing more, and he gives it to youâsliding a finger inside with a low, desperate sound.
âYour voice⊠fuckââ he groans, the sound almost a plea.
You yelp, grip tighteningâone hand buried in his hair, the other fisting the sheets.
Then he adds a second finger.
He hums as your walls stretch around him, giving you barely a heartbeat before heâs thrusting them in and out, building pace. Your eyes go wide, back arching sharply, nails sinking into his bicep as he peppers kisses up your neck.
âIâY-Yujiâahh, pleaseâI just cameââ Your voice breaks so sweetly it nearly kills him, and maybe he should give you a second to breatheâbut heâs already kissing down your chest, already pulling your top up without you noticing, clumsily unclasping your bra with unsteady fingers.
Heâs dreamed of tasting you like this for years.
His tongue drags over your nipple, lips closing around it as his fingers keep working you open, and all he can thinkâwatching you squeeze his arm, bury your face in his shoulder, thighs trembling around his wristâis how heartbreakingly cute you are, and how intoxicatingly soft your breasts feel.
Your legs shake as he finally pulls his fingers out, and he pops them into his mouth, sucking them clean while staring right at you in all his dazed hunger.
Your lips part in silent awe, chest rising and falling as you watch him. He reaches for his suit, unzipping it and letting it fall to the floor. His hands fumble with his boxersâslow, torturousâand you canât tear your gaze from the dark shape straining against the fabric.
When it slips free, your breath catchesâyour heart stutters.
Itâs fucking huge.
Your pupils blow wide, a tiny sound catching in your throat. He gathers the pre-cum on his thumb, spreading it over the swollen head before settling beside you on the bed.
âOkay, angelâŠâ he exhales, voice shaking, âthink weâre⊠goodâŠâ
Your face burns, dizzy with need. His lips find yours again as he rocks his cock through your slick folds, coating himself, teasing you both. You grind up instinctively, but he pulls back with sudden panic in his eyes.
âShitâcondomââ
You cut him off.
âIâm safe.â
He freezes. Looks at you once, and his fingers tremble. Both of you are flushed, breathless, then he kisses you againâharder, desperate.Â
âI fuckinââ heâs gasping through each clumsy kiss, âfuckâI love youâso fuckinâ much.â
The wordsâmessy, breathless, dripping with sincerityâturn your mind to nothing but mush. By the time he settles back between your thighs, lifting your legs high around his waist, youâre already trembling. A slow, burning stretch blossoms inside you as he presses just the head of his cock in.
âTell me if it hurts,â he murmurs.
âNghâYujââ you start, but he kisses you before the rest can leave your lips, fingers threading through your hair with such tenderness it makes your chest ache.
âYouâre, urgh, doing so well⊠YeahâŠâ He watches in fascination at the lewd scene of your cunt taking in his cock. âFuckâso fuckinâ goodââ
He's panting, eyes fixed on where your bodyâs parting around him. Heâs only seen stuff like this on his phone, but it doesnât compare to the real thing, and the sight alone makes him choke on a groan.
Your moan breaks loose, higher and needier as he rocks his hips, inching in deeper. Youâre tightâso tightâand the mix of pressure and pleasure has you clinging to him, whining when his hand squeezes your thigh.
âI-Itâs okay, angelâfuck, b-breathe,â he huffs, eyes squeezing shut as a low groan rumbles out of him. âIâm not gonna last like this, baby.â
The name hits you like a sparkâyour body involuntarily clenches around him, and he notices instantly. He lifts his head despite the sweat trailing down his temple, a breathless, smug little smile tugging at his lips.
âYou l-like that, baby?â he teases, voice cracked and warm. His hand cups your chin, guiding your gaze back to him as he pants through the ache.
âY-YujâŠâ you whisper, gasping as he sinks in deeper.
You nuzzle instinctively into his palm, stroking your cheek.
And fuckâyou canât expect him to hold back when youâre kissing the rough heel of his hand like that.
He canât doesnât wait for you to adjust fully. His mouth crashes onto yours, tongue greedy and eager as he kisses you like heâs drowning. His knees shake as he digs into the mattress, all before he slowly thrusts forwardâeach controlled drag burying more of his thick length deeper inside you.
You cling to him, nails digging into his broad shoulders, into the hard cut of muscle beneath his skin, and he grunts at the sting, hips rutting deeper, each movement slow and heavy enough to make your breath stutter.
You feel everythingâevery ridge, every pulse, every maddening inch of him, and your moans twist into soft, breathy cries, mixing with his low, guttural groans against your lips.
You donât even hear how the roomâs engulfed with nothing but the lewd squelches now, his hips softly plapping against you, grunting in your ear whenever you unintentionally clench around him.
Your soft whines turn into sweet cries, and his eyes dilate in awe, cheeks flushed as your vision blurs. Your wet lips part, crying his name over and over, and with each cry, you can feel him somehow grow even larger as he kisses your cervix like heâs addicted.
âAnghâwait!â you whine, grasping his nape, back arching as he continues his torturous pace, the burning yet filling stretch leaving you breathless.
Your mind is scrambled, completely lost to the pleasure as you try to adjust, but heâs already slowly picking up his pace. And it didnât matter how pathetic your whines got, or how much you came, because he's just kissing you with worship, peppering every part of you like youâre heaven itself, tongue peeking into your mouth again.
And heâs hooked. Hooked with how every time he tries to pull, youâre sucking him back in.
âItâs too muchâYujâPleaseââ and heâs also whimpering right above you.
âHaahâFuck, fuck, Iâm close, babyââ his lips part, groaning when you instinctually clench around him again.
He swallows each pathetic whine of yours and vice versa as he grunts into you with every thrust, panting against each other.
Your mouthâs dangling open with trails of drool, and each time he whispers sweet praises of how gorgeous you are, you canât help but string out moans and whimpers, filling the thick air of his bedroom.
âYouâre taking me⊠so well⊠â
You can hardly squeeze any comprehensible thoughts out of you, and your head falls back against him, strength slipping away, hips quivering as quiet whimpers escape you.
âHnngh, Y-Yujiii..."
âCan I cum inside?â
âM-Mhmm,â
You agree instantly, breath catching as your body betrays you. Youâve forgotten long ago, anyways, how to resist him.
A certain shiver ripples through you, and Yujiâs pace picks up even more, breath even heavier for the release he's been saving just for you, his whole life.
âBaby,â He pleads. âFuck, baby, pleaseâLook at me,â
The same strong hand on your jaw softly tilts your head to turn, and your eyes meet his dilated pupils,
âCan you feel that? Feel what you do to me? What youâve been doing to me, baby? Nghââ
You feel him rolling the rest of his cock deeper inside you while heâs whimpering, and all at once, the air seems to leave your lungs as he slides his arms beneath your thighs, lifting you effortlessly. Before you can even register whatâs happening, heâs standing with you in his arms, the weight and closeness leaving your heart racing.
"Does this feel better for you?â
As if. Your legs go weak in his arms, trembling as your body twitches now with every subtle movement he makes. Youâre completely at his mercy, breath catching and chest rising and falling faster than you can control. Tiny, messy traces fall from your lips, dripping out onto the floor with soft splatters down below.
He spreads you out wider, aims sliding beneath your thighs, and fingers digging into the plush of your thighs. You feel like youâre simply floating, all whilst he hauls you up and down his cock, leaving you helpless as you sink back into everything heâs sliding desperately into you.
âN-Ngh, Yujââ Your voice catches, eyes misting as he burrows closer into the crook of your neck.
A deep, almost dizzying warmth pulses through you, and suddenly, it all bursts. Your hands claw at his back, squirming and desperate for the grounding presence of him. He huffs against your skin as well, breath ragged. His voice drops eager, and you feel it shiver straight through you.
âHaah⊠Iâm so close.â
All you can do is tremble around him, giving a slow, lazy nod, lost in the crazed intensity between you.
Heâs spilling every rope of cum inside you, and even through it, he doesnât stop. He keeps a slower, gentler pace, thrusts kissing your cervix even more like heâs thanking you, same as how heâs peppering your face with kisses now.
"YujiâŠ"
He pants softly in your ear, plopping his cock out tiredly from your hole and onto your bed below. Both of you are still heaving, your bodies stay pressed tightly together.
You murmur from underneath his weight, voice muffled against his shoulder, and it makes him melt as he still holds you close.
âI love you so much... Fuck, Iâm sorry I acted like a jerk,â he whispers, gazing into your tired, adoring eyes. âIâll jump off a cliff if I ever make you cry again.â
You laugh, playfully punching his arm. With a quick peck to his nose, youâre already readjusting so you can straddle him again.
He traces a finger gently along your lips, a little grin on his face.
You raise a brow.
âWhat?â
âCan we umââ he leans in for a quick kiss, âCan we try doggy style now?â
Okay, cross his weird cooking showsâyouâre monitoring his weird porn stash too.
Everything aches when you wake up. Your arms are stiff and your legs are all sore, peppered with bite marks and faint crescents from last night. Sunlight filters through the peeping blinds, painting golden stripes across the bed, but thatâs not the only weight youâre feeling on top of you.
Yujiâs arm is draped over yours now, warm and comfortably heavy. Heâs sprawled on his stomach beside you, hair a chaotic mess, eyelids shut, face practically buried in the pillow. You shift slightly, wincing at the soreness, and his eyes snap open like heâs sensed you awake.
Under his breath, a groan escapes him, followed by a tilt of the head as he glances at you, face squished adorably into the pillow.
The memories of last night hit you like a freight train, and your face instantly blooms scarlet.
âGood morning,â he whispers, lips curling into a smile.
ââŠMorning,â you croak, voice hoarse.
He instantly breaks into laughter, rolling lazily onto his back beside you while you frown at him, still too self-conscious.
Your gaze drifts over him unconsciously, eyes tracing over last nightâs scratches on his broad back. The little ridges where his elbows pressed into you, his chest rising and falling from sleep and⊠other marks. His ears are pink, warm under the sunlight, and he buries his face into your hair, all snuggled with you. Both of you stay like that for a few heartbeats, breathing each other in, disbelief lingering like the soft haze after fireworks.
Eventually, you reach for your phone, which youâd carelessly tossed on the bedside table yesterday. But when the lock screen lights up, your heart nearly jumps out of your throat.
âWhatââ Yuji murmurs, groggy and confused.
âI have class in thirty minutes!â you gasp, scrambling off the bed despite the soreness. âI cannot miss this one!â
His eyes instantly widen, and before you can blink, heâs already on his feet. He rushes over to your side, scooping you into his arms as he carries you to the shower.
âIâll get your clothes, hold on!â he calls, and just like that, heâs darting to your room, leaving you blinking and flustered.Â
The showerâs warmth does little to soothe the ache of your limbs, but you linger just long enough to pull the towel tight around yourself. When you finally do open the bathroom door, you freeze.
Spider-Man. In. The. Flesh.
Heâs standing there, folded clothes in hand, looking every bit like the superhero he is. Though the awkward, nervous smile beneath it? 100% Yuji. You pause, staring, and when you finally reach for your clothes, you whisper a hurried thanks, cheeks burning.
He gives a little wave back at you.
Youâre not telling him thanks, this time, thoughâwhen fast-forward five minutes, youâre in the air, soaring past skyscrapers, strapped in some ridiculous ghost mask he bought last Halloween.
Your stomach flips every time the wind picks up, hair whipping across your face, and the city below blurs into dizzying streaks of light. When you eventually land in a quiet alleyway, youâre gasping for breath, legs trembling, and he finally lets go of your waist. You glance at your watch.
Ten minutes leftâcue panic.
You start to turn and dash, but canât resist sneaking one last glance over your shoulder. Yuji simply stands there, chest heaving, mask slightly crooked, head tilted. He's waving you to get moving already.
But you canât leave it at that. You run back, grab his clenched fists gently in one hand, and lift his mask just slightly to plant a quick peck on his lips.
âThanks,â you whisper.
And before he can say a word, youâre offârushing back into the bustle, heart hammering, adrenaline still sending quivers through your shaky legs.
"Oh my god...."
He dramatically leans back against the cold alley wall, sliding down slowly while clutching at his own head beneath his zipped get-up.
His suit definitely needs an upgrade from Megumi, he thinks, because youâd left him totally knocked out.
And right now, his brain is half-filled with how easily you just slipped awayâthe other half overclocking on how he's so, so down bad for you.
Somewhere above, a pigeon coos from above, judgmental in its stare.
Class has barely ended when your phone buzzes. The hallway is in its usual chaosâsneakers squeaking across scuffed linoleum, laughter ricocheting, backpacks slung over shoulders. Youâre juggling your bag, your water bottle, and an overdue sense of exhaustion as you pull out your phone, fully expecting a group chat notification or a calendar reminder.
But then you see the name on the screen. Yuji.
Yuji: look at the manhattan bridge :))
Your brows knit, but curiosity wins, and you turn toward the tall window overlooking the city, breath fogging faintly against the cold glass. The sky is rinsed in a soft apricot glow, dripping over the skyline like spilt honey. Its golden hour tints with warmth, enough to melt even the sharpest edges of steel and glass.
And thatâs when you see it.
Strung between the beams like frost, shimmering in the golden, like itâs snared a wandering cloud amidst the bleeding skyâthree words are strung across the Manhattan Bridge in enormous, gleaming webs.
Each letter was woven thick, looped around half a dozen times so they wouldnât blow away in the wind.
Your eyes widen.
No way.
I LOVE YOU.
Your heart skips violently, and your breath stumbles out of your chest in a gasp.
A stupid, giddy laugh bubbles out of you before you can stop it, and your hand flies to your mouth as if you can physically push your stunned smile back in.
âIdiotâŠâ you whisper.
Around you, other students press against the windows, whispering, pointing. Someone mutters,
âBrother did a whole Hollywood signâŠâ
âIs Spider-Man in love?? With who??â
Your phone buzzes again.
Yuji: empty classroom, east wing. the one w the broken light. hurry! :(
You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to fight off the warmth spreading through your chest as you practically float down the hallway. Your steps are light, your face is on fire, and your heart's busy doing backflips inside.
By the time you reach the forgotten old classroom in the east wing, your pulse is sprinting. The door sits slightly open, the flickering ceiling light casting lazy pulses of brightness across the desks like itâs trying, yet failing, to stay conscious.
You push the door open.
And there he is.
Yuji stands near one of the desks, mask pulled back and tucked into his hood, pink-peach curls mussed from the wind.
His cheeks are flushed, hoodie slightly crooked, and even though heâs leaning like heâs been waiting forever, he probably swung here mere seconds just before you arrived.
How do you know that? Because the flowers in his hands look like they've just gone through hell and back.
When he sees you, something in him softens so completely it makes your breath catch.
âHey,â he says, smile tugging gently at the corners of his mouth.
Itâs so pure, so bright, it almost tricks you into thinking he didnât just do something as insane as webbing a literal confession across a whole bridge.
You let out a breathy laugh as you approach him.
âYuji⊠you webbed the entire Manhattan Bridge.â
He rubs the back of his neck, practically glowing.
âIâuhâwanted to make sure you saw it?â He winces. âAnd that you didnât think I was joking.â
His voice gentles.
âI mean it.â
Before your brain can even catch up with your racing heart, he reaches out. His hands slip like usual to your waist.
He looks at you like sunlight through glass, stars folding into themselvesâunfathomable heaven of devotion graced into every line of his expression.
âYou ready to go home?â he asks softly.Â
You wrap your arms around him.
âYeah,â you whisper, and his forehead drops to your shoulder in the tiniest, softest surrender.
He nuzzles into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply as you giggle and ruffle his hair.
âI love you too, silly.â
Outside, the sun sinks slowly behind the skyline, ember light scattered across the room as it catches on a stray fleck of web on Yujiâs sleeve. It glows like silver fire as he lifts you effortlessly, stepping toward the window. You simply cling to him, heart soaring as he pushes the pane open and the cool wind rushes in.
With a soft laugh, Yuji leaps, both of you cutting through the evening breeze as the city roars beneath.
Taxis honk, trains rattle, pedestrians shout, but everything muffles the moment his arm curls tighter around you.
With him, flying feels safe.
With him, the city feels small.
With him, the skyline with I LOVE YOU strung across it feels like the only world that matters.
He steals a glance at you mid-swing, cheeks flushed, eyes bright.
New York watches as he swings past skyscrapersâand this time, he isn't alone. He holds you like he has nowhere else to be but by your side, basking in the afterglow of a love he had written across the skyline just for you.Â
Petals float below from the two of you, and you say his words back. Barely louder than the wind, but just enough for him, and only him, to hear.
It's what youâve found between this litany of quiet youâve both settled into:
âHome.â
(wip) part 2 àȘâ⎠just when the spider that bit yuji back then brings more trouble, your past decides to catch up too.
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