Yan's Back Home

Drilling gloryholes into iron maidens

"stuck between a rock and a hard place" always pissed me off. were you not able to think of another hard object. dumb soft dough-esque idiot can only think of rocks. i can think of tons of other hard objects. ever heard of boulders, supple boy.

i dont know why it used to be a thing to go to strip clubs as a group because if i squirt my little pants off (which i do often) thats going to be an "all hands on deck" situation and ive got loads that are denser than lead

nah because if a man brought me to a lake id lowkey think he's trying to fuck and also id be a horse which is a whole can of worms id need to unpack

I guess some of my "friends" aren't busy enough to go on walks or take selfies but are too busy to react to the video of a guy fucking a Nikes shoe for 3 minutes that i sent them huh

(stealing my girlfriend's phone and talking into it so that the robot inside knows what algorithms to feed her subliminally) blowing up boyfriend, bombs, bombs to kill, liquid bombs, liquid bombs that go well in soup, liquid explosive that you feed to your boyfriend, David Lynch,

someone told me that lesbians don't scissor and thats made up but i never believed them. women can do anything

hey man i know its a friends only thing but can my buddy come over. no yeah its steve i told you about him. he builds blocks and shit. hes got this thing called netherite crazy stuff. i think youll like him hes chill

One time at the theaters I put a bunch of butter onto my popcorn and went to the bathroom so that I could get on all fours and eat from the popcorn bucket off the ground as I imagined myself as a grazing cow feasting and that the popcorn butter was the morning dew

I make my dawgs freak the way i make that fire work yes i know its 3 days late

Imagine cutie marks exist in real life and you have walk around being known as "the guy who gets their life's fulfillment from taking it up the ass". Insane shit

(After talking to a guy who has a similar personality as me and is also asian) I mean, Aiden's cool and all but sometimes I want to shoot the back of his head with a revolver