PROMPT: you and remus both like each other, but you’re too scared to admit it to one another, Soon enough, you’re forced to confront your feelings once and for all. no warnings.
“Remus will like the one on the left”Lily calls from across the Gryffindor seventh year girl’s dormitory. There’s to be a party tonight, held in the forbidden forest after curfew by a Ravenclaw student who neither you, or your red-headed friend, are familiar with. The pair of you had been invited by none other than James Potter - your best friend’s pining boyfriend - and with the end of your time at Hogwarts closing in fast, nobody is prepared to miss out on the night’s rule breaking celebrations, least of all your friends.
You sigh, knitting your brows together with an expression of annoyance - it makes Lily laugh, though this only further adds to your frustration as you stare hopelessly between two of the outfits you’ve picked out as potential candidates for the evening. “I’m not trying to impress Remus, Evans. He doesn’t like me that way, and i’ll probably never see him again once we leave school. There’s hardly any point in getting my hopes up”your words taste sour on your tongue, but you know they’re true, and that you’ve got to be harsh on yourself now to avoid embarrassment later. Remus is bookish and quiet, but he’s quick lipped when he needs to be, and just as troublesome as James Potter, and Sirius Black (only, he is much better at getting away with it). There isn’t a reason in the world why he’d choose to like you. Besides, if he did like you, you’d know by now - what with his loud mouthed friend group.
Lily lowers her gaze, clasping a small gold pendant around her neck as she edges quietly toward your bed, frowning slightly at your fallen expression “don’t say that, why wouldn’t he like you?”. Her words do nothing to console you, she’s got to say that - that’s what best friend’s are for, after all - but her sudden presence at your bedside pushes you into some sort of movement, you’ve been staring stupidly at your outfit options for the night for far too long now, and with a single drop of your hand, one falls to your bed, the other remaining at your side. “it’ll do”you speak quietly, forcing a smile to show that you aren’t completely pathetic “i’ll meet you and the others in the common room in five minutes”. The rest of the dormitory is empty other than you once Lily leaves, Dorcas and Marlene, and your other roommates have already gone on ahead of you and the boys, and it leaves you completely alone to shake off the unwelcome thoughts of Remus Lupin.
Though they return soon enough, a mere half hour later when Lily leaves you alone in the midst of the forest get together, a bottle of fire whiskey clutched in your hands. A group of Slytherin’s had banded together to sneak five crates from the stock room of the Three Broomsticks last weekend, especially for tonight, and a particularly popular Ravenclaw girl has somehow used her notable charms talent to allow music to waver on throughout the bustles of seventh year pupils. It’s all so grand, and you know that you should be enjoying it with your friends, but there’s a thought glued to your mind that never seems to leave, and his name is Remus Lupin. You seem to catch him everywhere you look, over by a shady tree talking to Peter Pettigrew, collecting a fresh bottle of butterbeer from one of the smaller crates brought by Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows, dancing with Frank Longbottom and his new girlfriend, one of your own friends, Alice Fortescue.
For a moment, you ponder joining a group of Gryffindor girls that you’ve known since first year in their circle of shrieked laughter, but then with a fuzzy afterthought, decide against it. Your head is aching, and your vision is going blurry. You wouldn’t call yourself a light weight by any means, but glancing down at the bottle in your hands, it slips your mind just how many you’ve managed to have since arriving. Fire whiskey is strong, two alone would be enough to knock you flat, and you’ve got an idea that you may just have passed that unknowingly in your wallowing gloom for a boy who doesn’t like you back. Trouble is an understatement, you’ll be on the floor soon enough if you aren’t careful, but there’s nobody to stop you, and your mind has already blurred the line between what’s good for you and what’s bad, so you neck the remainder of the fiery liquid and wince at the burn that travels down your throat. It’s time for you to actually have fun, no more Remus Lupin.
It all seems like a good idea, and for a while it is, just you and hazy faces you can’t quite distinguish from one another. You think you find Lily at one point, dancing with her, though it ends up being a quiet girl from Hufflepuff, who leaves you a few moments later, a look of concern clear on her expression. It seems you aren’t exactly blending into the party well, not that it matters to you by this point, swaying along to the music until, all of a sudden, you feel a throb at your temples, and an acidic burning in your throat. That’s when your feet stop, and you suddenly pause to rethink everything leading up until now, only with little capability of doing so in your drunken manner. You feel hot bile burn, and then you slump over toward the ground and release the contents of your stomach into a pile of leaves.
You don’t have any time to think about the repercussions of your abrupt and unpleasant actions, because before you can even lift your head, a nearby shoe steps forward, and a hand pulls gently at your shoulder to turn you, helping you rest up against a tree trunk. “y/n?’the voice that calls your name is quiet and tender, and almost soothing as you open your eyes and rub the cusp of your palm against your cheek with a discontent groan, though you fall silent when your eyes finally focus in on the soft spoken student, a sloppy grin breaking out across your lips as you slip further into drunken obliviousness “Remus!”you shout it a little too loudly, and some nearby pupils glance over to you with judging stares. Remus notices this, and shifts, propping himself onto his knees to reach your level more comfortably, nodding with a gentle shushing sound “its me”he confirms, humouring your childlike display “you’re absolutely pissed, come on, get up”he raises his eyebrows, still smiling, voice tentative as he attempts to pull you to your feet.
He holds onto both of your hands, stepping up to his own feet as he tries to keep you steady, much to your excitement “are we going on a walk?”you ask, eyes lighting up “i think that’s a good idea”you slur your words, tone pitchy and unbalanced as you finally manage to rise up, stumbling, but not particularly taking note of this as Remus puts in the effort to catch hold of your arms when you threaten to topple straight back to the ground. “i’ve always wanted to go on a walk with you, Remus”you sing out, loudly, uncaring about who hears “but you don’t like walking with me”your lip curls up at that, eyebrows furrowing animatedly “why don’t you want to walk with me?”
Your senseless rambling makes Remus laugh quietly as he leads you out of the bustling clearing, and back toward the castle, nodding along to all the rubbish you manage to pull from your mind. “Y’know, Rem...”you glance up through your lashes clumsily, flinging yourself at the boy’s chest like a child, or a madwoman of some sort, tugging at the collar of his knitted jumper as you grin messily and slur out a sentence you regret, both instantly, and for days after the words leave your foolish lips “I really like you lots. I just think you’re wonderful...so funny....fit.....and fit....and nice... i just like you”you barely even pronounce the words, you’re so far gone, though both of you are well aware that Remus hears them loud and abrupt, because he stiffens, breezy smile slipping into a sudden frown of confusion as he becomes aware of his hands supporting your back, he raises them further up hurriedly, and swallows thickly as heat rushes at his cheeks “you...you like me?”
There is a sudden bout of shattering silence, and you almost feel sobered to the core as your mind catches up to your actions, but you’re too wasted to do much about it, and soon the concerns seem to vanish into a flurry of drunken hysterics. You laugh manically, still stumbled against Remus as he looks at you intently and works out what on earth he’s to do with the sudden confession he’s been confronted with, and the drunk girl falling into his side. Though, instead of saying anything, he steps inward, chest to chest with you once more, and lands a well aimed kiss against your lips. It ends quickly, the Gryffindor boy’s eyes running wild as he clears his throat, glancing away. Neither of you move, or speak, until voices sound out close behind you, and you peer over your shoulder with sudden curiosity, stepping away from Remus, though keeping tight hold of one of his hands, swinging it between the large gap separating the two of you “Lily!”you exclaim loudly, to which James Potter hisses for you to be quiet, and Sirius restrains a shout of laughter at.
You remember nothing of how you eventually made it into the castle without being caught when you wake up the next day, and nothing of how you changed for bed, or how you even got into bed, and for a blissful moment, you remember nothing of what happened between you and Remus Lupin. That is until you open your eyes and feel the woozy sensation of nausea rush though your body, Lily across the room making a similar expression of hungover agony to your own, only she doesn’t have any titanic sized regrets or problems like you do. You wonder if Remus can remember what happened, though it feels apparent that he does, for if you remember correctly, he was absolutely nowhere as drunk as you had been - and much to your humiliation, you’ll have to face him at breakfast soon enough, and then possibly in Hogsmeade if Lily insists you accompany her out with James and the boys (which she no doubt will) on one of the final Saturday trips you and your fellow seventh years will get to have into the small, wizarding village.
However, you’re wrong in your suspicions, because Remus doesn’t appear at breakfast, and when Lily asks where he is - sending you a knowing look of confusion at his absence - Peter replies only with “having a sleep in. Hungover” between mouthfuls of scrambled egg. Later in the day, he fails to join you and the rest of your group in visiting the Three Broomsticks, and Honeydukes, this time with no excuse other than that he has to finish a potions essay due on Monday, and that he’d rather not leave it until tomorrow to do. His failure to make any sort of conversation or effort in regards of the previous night fills you with dread - though he had kissed you, and he had been nowhere near as drunk, so that must be a good thing...mustn’t it? You confide in Lily about this when the dormitory is empty, heart pounding as you try not to stress yourself out about Remus, though to no such avail.
“you should talk to him”Lily tells you on Monday evening before dinner, sat cross legged on her bed as she signs off a letter for her parents and sister back home. Remus had stayed away all weekend, not showing for dinner on Saturday, and leaving early to walk the grounds of Hogwarts with Sirius on Sunday, only returning to sleep and eat food smuggled by James in his dormitory that night. It was rather pathetic, and it was evident that the other three boys had been informed of the dreaded Friday evening disaster, much to your embarrassment. Though, Lily had managed to stop James from being such a pain about it all, which you were grateful for. “no, you need to talk to him about it - he’s being a recluse. It’s silly, both of you are silly”
And so, you find yourself sat in the Gryffindor common room after everybody has begun making their way to dinner, having James somehow convince Remus to finally show his face. The fire is lit, and you’re more nervous than ever before as the sound of low voices erupt out behind you. James falls into view, then with an amused smile, he raises an eyebrow at his friend, who is paused behind the chair you sit at, and rolls his eyes behind the frames of his wired glasses “you are a joke, Moony”he announces flatly, quirking a dark brow “she doesn’t bite. It’s embarrassing watching you two gits. Especially you, Remus - not going to the great hall for three days? Bloody hell, you’ll never live this one down”he blinks, shaking his head, then lets slip a humoured smirk and turns on his heels to leave, ignoring Remus’ retorts.
The two of you remain silent as you turn in your chair to face the boy, a hot flush apparent on your cheeks “why would you avoid me for that long, Remus?”you manage to ask, quietly, voice threatening to wobble “what did you think I was going to do?”. He doesn’t answer right away, eyes focused in on the nearby fire place as he keeps his head low, messy curls the colour of honey as he shakes his head, at a loss for his own actions “I don’t know. I was embarrassed, I kissed you”he shrugs, swallowing back a lump in his throat as he finally glances up and meets your questioning gaze. The reply surprises you, laugh of disbelief slipping out from your mouth as you raise both of your brows at his explanation “yeah, after I admitted my feelings for you!”
Remus narrows his eyes, shrugging, half puzzled, half pitiful for himself “you were drunk, y/n. It doesn’t count”he speaks plainly, like he’s accepted it as a fact, though his expression breaks, startled, when you rise to your feet abruptly, eyes wide “it does count! What are you talking about?”you narrow your eyes, brows lowered “Remus, i’ve liked you for ages. I wasn’t supposed to tell you, at least not like that. because...I don’t know - I didn’t think you liked me like that, or that you ever would” your reply seems to shock him, sending quiet across the room as he mulls your words over and attempts to understand what you’ve just told him, for the second time in the past three days. “so...you like me?”his lips break out into a boyish grin, features lightening as you nod your head, still in disbelief at how completely oblivious someone could be.
